Seeing the world through the Aspie Lense

Sometimes people say to me that it must be hard for me to have Asperger Syndrome or I am so sad to hear that. I wonder to myself why they actually say this because I see the world through what I call an Aspie Lense. My life is not conventional and more importantly time cannot be wasted on feeling sorry for myself or saying how things are tough. I do have employment and I have traveled overseas. What I find difficult at times is that I have accepted my Asperger Syndrome diagnosis and it appears that others seem to not. People try at times to make me see things the same way which they do and I feel frustrated by this because I find it difficult. More importantly I find showing emotions to be extremely difficult and I cannot help the fact that I may appear cold or allusive. I try my best to understand people as best I can which is all I can really do.

This afternoon I attend the Toastmasters Convention and spoke to 3 people there but mostly sat in the room on my own waiting for the speeches to begin. I only stayed until afternoon tea as I had to return to the responsibilities of my house sit but when I sat in the room surrounded by other people who were talking in a language and communicating in a way I did not understand, I found myself content to just sit there and control my anxiety levels. I find anxiety tends to high jack me in certain ways, either I feel like my head is rushing, or I need to go to the bathroom several times and I am worried about being lost when not in my comfort zone.

When I am surrounded by a group of people I hear the sounds of the conversation mumbling that surrounds me and I see a sea of faces when I look at them but I also have facial blindness in that I wonder why people behave the way they do. I know this sounds psychoanalytical but when I am under pressure my mind analyzes over and over again. I now have some strategies to reduce the over thinking but still it happens but becoming less over time.

I am doing my own editing on my book at the moment and I want to be more relaxed in front of people when I speak to them. I find myself serious and just wanting to say what I need to with the least amount of words. I am not really fearful of public speaking but more so being hijacked by anxiety. Will I shutdown in front of people, am I getting my point across are some of the thoughts I ponder and obsess over. The Aspie Lense exists and it is also worn and can be used when people put on different acts in their lives. They have their work act, their driving car act, the going out to dinner act and the list goes on. I see all people the same and cannot understand why some people think they are better than others also.

Autism Works

I have been following very closely the important updates concerning Autism Works in Sunderland in the United Kingdom. Both Chris Mitchell Operations Manager (Adult with Asperger Syndrome) and Peter McDonald Managing Director need important mention in this pioneering work they are doing. Over the coming months they hope to obtain a vital funding bit and hopefully very shortly employ their first adult on the Autism Spectrum into this agency.

I would encourage any of you to monitor closely the work that is going on here for as this company grows, hopefully the sad reality of high unemployment within the area of Autism in adults will be slowly overcome. As I mentioned previously, I will be visiting this company in June 2011 to undertake 2 weeks unpaid work experience and coming from Australia on the other side of the world, I hope to support Autism Works in any way possible. I have been in the unemployment queues and frustrated at continually being knocked back after submitting employment applications and addressing selection criteria. More importantly I have personally experience the judging at face value within the interview process. My personal experiences speak of other adults on the Autism Spectrum who are unable to obtain employment and just fed up with not provided with the opportunity of a chance in a real job. Chris Mitchell adult with Asperger Syndrome will be speaking about Communication Shutdown on Monday 1st November 2010 also so please be sure to visit either the Autism Works website or their Facebook page.

Please register your support which is free of charge by visiting Autism Works on Facebook. Just visit the following link to help assist them with a vital funding bid and help put adults on the Autism Spectrum into work. All you need to do is to like their Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/AutismWorksUK#!/AutismWorksUK

We can ensure that not only will Autism Works be supported but more importantly it will branch out to other countries including Australia which sadly is lacking and other countries in the rest of the world!

The weekend is finally here

The weekend is finally here. It is good to have a couple of days free after completing a somewhat busy week. Today I received my Recognition and Development back from the line manager I work under. Her comments were very supportive and showed where my strong points are and other areas where I need to improve.

I am now starting a weekend house sit at Wilston which is the northern suburbs of Brisbane. I have access to a pool and will have a swim very shortly as it is starting to get somewhat humid now in Brisbane. I also received some feedback concerning my first attempt at my book manuscript. Some areas are needing improvement more particularly in relation to my employment experience. I will continue to work on this and will do some more work later tonight.

Tomorrow I am off to the Toastmasters speaking forum which goes for 5 hours but I will probably only stay a couple. Here you can hear speakers on all different topics and it is well worth attending to broaden one's mind. There is also an orchid show on which I may consider attending but it depends on how much I can get to see on the weekend. I have to cook my dinner shortly and then chill out a bit. It is good that the weekend is finally here and I am giving myself a pat on the back for coming on over the last 8 months. I am starting to take on more things and getting less burned out at the same time.

The world from a literal perspective

I am going to be honest and upfront on my views and how I see the world. I think in the world there is as Howard Beal states a lot of bullshit. I mean you only have to look at Equal Opportunity to begin with. Equal Opportunity is supposed to treat everyone fairly but does it?! I find that Equal Opportunity works in the favour of the people who make the most noise and get what they want. I have seen it in workplaces, the people who often do the least amount of work, suck up to the right people and make the necessary noise get what they want. It is a sad and unfortunate reality that honest and hard working people who should be getting the praise and merit are the ones who simply fall in the wayside or exist in the backwash. I also get sick and tired of people who think they are better than other people. I find snobs and well to do people artificial. They are mortal like the rest of us and have to cease existing to be in their ivory towers assuming they know more and are better than other people. Every person in this world can make a go of their life but sadly and the truth be known that some people despite their hard work and endeavours just never seem to get anywhere.

Take for instance the "Tall Poppy Syndrome". Why the hell do people cut down others who get off their backsides and make a go of life. Why instead of supporting them are they instead cut down!? For heavens sake if you want an economy to prosper and for a society to move forward out of complacency then you have to support those people who try and do the right thing. Equal Opportunity should be about giving everyone a fair go and ruling out such scenarios as evident in the human condition of favourtism and sucking up to the right people. I find such people spineless and efficient in most cases for they are never really promoted on merit to begin with. Now I come to a very important point. Why then are people on the Autism Spectrum disadvantaged by equal opportunity? Well open your eyes! People with Asperger Syndrome lack the necessary social skills to climb the corporate or promotional ladder in any organisation. Not only do they not suck up to the right people but we find it difficult to navigate the work environment socially. We are seriously disadvantaged by our limited social skills to know what to say and employ the required usage of social skills.

This brings me to the point of inclusion of Autism into the Disability Discrimination Act. Why should Autism be incorporated into the Disability Discrimination Act? Quite simply because Autism is a stand alone disability. The Autism Spectrum effects a person's social skills and impairs their ability to get around the workplace socially. A person in a wheel chair has a mobility impairment but a regular person's cognitive wiring whereas an Aspie does not. An Aspie is a different kettle of fish and the whole concept of support and representation needs to be modified.

I see so many people who are busy with their lives and some of whom are unhappy with how their life is unfolding. We have too much choice to begin with and products and services no longer focus on quality. Things are not for the long term and nobody really seems to give a stuff about anyone else anymore and a person is left to their own devices. In the movie Network Howard Beal says "I am as mad as hell and I am not going to take this anymore". I wonder how many people actually feel like this and how much longer is the world going to go on like it is and being way overpopulated supporting more than 6 billion inhabitants. Nobody knows the solutions to the problems of the world but surely there is so much crap happening around us that some day it will turn around back to quality and reality!! I just wish people would be more upfront and honest rather than being deceptive and not being honest with their true thoughts or feelings. Is I am busy really saying in a polite way, "please get stuffed as I am not interested in talking to you?".

I also get tired of virtually having to lie on a selection criteria about what I am supposed to be able to do in my superman blue suit. It is just difficult to make up lies and be involved in writing deceptive descriptions in order to satisfy the requirements of an interview panel if you are lucky to get the interview at any rate. These people do not know you from a bar of soap and yet you are supposed to convince them of what you can do.

The case for independent schooling

Next week I will be making a visit to the Brisbane Independent School. The Brisbane Independent School is a school of interest to me as I would like to know how the pupils are taught and what early intervention there is for children, some of whom may have individual needs. As I will be presenting at Autism Queensland and talking about my own personal experiences of making the transition from school into employment, I would be interested to see how my situation could have compared to children today within this school.

My thoughts are on whether a school for primary school level could be developed and implemented on a high school model. It would be interesting if a high school more were to be adopted to see what positive outcomes and support may be available. I cannot really comment on the Brisbane Independent School as yet as I have not visited it but I would be interested to see how this school operates and what intervention and or support is provided at an early stage in development.

The Autism Brain Scan

BRITISH scientists have developed a 15-minute brain scan they hope could be used to detect autism in children, cutting both the time and cost of diagnosing the disorder. Researchers from the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College London today published details of the technique, which has been tested on adults and shown to have 90 per cent accuracy in detecting autism.

Children are presently assessed through a lengthy process that tests social interaction, communication and imaginative skills. A confirmed diagnosis is rare before 18 months, and most often occurs much later. Christine Ecker, a member of the institute's research team, said the new tool's benefits could be "immense".

"It could help to alleviate the need for the emotional, time-consuming and expensive diagnosis process which ASD (autism spectrum disorder) patients and families currently have to endure," she said."We now look forward to testing if our methods can also help children."

The British scientists hope the new method will be both quicker and up to 20 times more cost effective. The scans cost between £100 ($173) and £200 ($346), far cheaper than current alternatives in Britain. The technique assesses structural changes in the brain. It is expected to take more than two years before it is ready to be rolled out for general use.

Autism and related disorders affect up to six or seven out of every 1000 individuals. Symptoms are lifelong and can vary widely, but often include impaired social skills, repetitive behaviours, difficulty in expressing one's emotions, and an aversion to physical intimacy. There is no known cure.

The new technique developed by the Institute of Psychiatry researchers involves taking pictures of the brain with a magnetic resonance imaging scanner. The scans are reconstructed into 3D images and analysed by computer software programmed to spot hallmarks of autism in the structure of different brain areas. The results of testing the technique on 20 adults with autism and the same number of healthy "control" volunteers were published today in The Journal of Neuroscience.

All those taking part were men aged between 20 and 68. After first being asked to undergo the conventional diagnostic procedure, each participant had his brain scanned. The outcomes of both techniques were then compared. The brain scan method was 90 per cent accurate in correctly identifying the autistic patients. It also showed a negative result for healthy controls in 80 per cent of cases.

The Aspie Dating Game

As I am now up to 31 0000 words in my book relating to Asperger Syndrome in adults which I hope to publish before the end of the year, I am now contemplating writing another book on Aspie Dating from a male with Asperger Syndrome's viewpoint.

As I am in contact with Dr Tony Attwood from time to time, Tony has mentioned how in relationships a person with Asperger Syndrome can have a relationship with a person who is very or completely neuro typical. What Tony is mentioning is very interesting but from my own personal perspective, a date is like attending a job interview. A lot of expectations are place in the initial first contact and it is here that a lot of decisions and the possibility of chemistry are decided. When I ran the Brisbane Adult Group through the Asperger Syndrome Support Network in the early part of this decade, some of the adults mentioned to me the frustrations they encountered in finding and entering a relationship. The difficulties and issues were, very complex and the sense of rejection very crippling emotionally. The truth is that men with Asperger Syndrome do make ideal partners but the problem is selling themselves at a date and keeping up with the pressures and energy involved in sharing space and exchanging pleasantries.

My own experience of dating was draining, and emotionally crippling. I found it difficult to know what to do when going on a date. I often wondered if going on a date had an instruction manual. What was I supposed to say? What moves am I supposed to do? What is expected of me after I meet the person should I wish to see them again? In the movie "Tootsie" starring Dustin Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman cross dresses into a female character Dorothy Michaels. In the movie he meets and becomes acquainted with Julie Nichols played by Jessica Lange. In the movie, Dorothy is involved in being a soap star and comes into contact with Julie Nichols and he becomes smitten with her and develops a crush. Unfortunately, Julie Nichols sees Dorothy as a friend not realising that there is a man behind the mask. When talking with Julie Nichols, Dorothy mentions the difficulty in understanding women and Julie Nichols tells Dorothy that she wishes more men would be upfront with her and just tell her what is on their minds to thus lead into a feeling of attraction. Of course, when Dorothy Michaels blows his disguise, he confronts Julie Nichols and asks her this question thinking that he is being upfront and honest, and Julie Nichols is appalled and anoints him with a glass of wine.

It is hard being a male Aspie as you always have to make the first move and when approaching pretty girls or a pretty girl, it is often to know what to say and more importantly deal with the games that women seem to play. You often wonder why is there not a love or dating handbook with a set of questions and answers where you can tick each box and then either press the chemistry button or keep using this manual to eventually find the right match. You only wonder if such a book will ever be written who knows what the future holds?

I have chosen the movie "Tootsie" as it is an interesting encounter when Dustin Hoffman confronts Jessica Lange to tell her what she really wants to hear only to get a glass of water in his face. The movie reveals the difficulties in understanding the female language and the movie is a good example of such difficulty. The movie is also interesting in that Dustin Hoffman becomes good friends with Jessica Lange when he plays the female role but as a male the persona is completely different. It may not be a great example but I thought I would suggest the movie anyhow and perhaps others may understand or see the movie with some level of interest.

Minds and Hearts Workshop in Brisbane

Minds and Hearts will be running a workshop called - Emotion Management for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. This workshop will be on Wednesday 17th November from 5.30pm to 7.00pm. The cost is $60 per person - Below is quoted from the Minds and Hearts website

"The Information for the night is for: Adults who have a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome and who are interested in gaining ideas and strategies for managing strong emotions such as anxiety, depression and stress".

"The aim of this information night is to provide strategies to assist adults with AS with their strong emotions. We will discuss anxiety, stress and depression and explore strategies to relieve these negative feelings, such as evidence-based treatment of choice, cognitive behaviour therapy and the benefits of other tools such as relaxation and physical exercise.

For more information please contact Minds and Hearts in the "Useful Links" on this blog website.

The Sensory Issue Combat Zone

In society I believe everyone follows a process of wearing masks and veneers. For a person with Asperger Syndrome perhaps we are much self conscious of wearing a mask or veneer and may find difficulty when exhausting to keep the veneer or mask on. The biggest difficulty is for adults in employment. Most jobs demand or require a person to be competent and more importantly fulfilling a social requirement or team work to undertake and or complete a task.

One of the biggest issues I have is the sensory overload factor. When there are more people, there is more and more non verbal communication going on and trying to use your sensory radar is like as Dr Temple Grandin describes a bad cell connection. I often find I can become disorientated by sounds and furthermore sensory overload tends to affect my rational thinking. When combining both factors, your mind is trying to shut out over stimulation and focusing becomes more difficult and problematic.

What and how then can "The Sensory Issue Combat Zone" be controlled? I think from personal experience people with Asperger Syndrome prefer space because our minds easily become over stimulated by excessive neuro processing. It is easier in quiet space as there are less sensory issues but when you put an Aspie into a sensory environment then the two struggle or do not combine. As a male with Asperger Syndrome, I find sharing of space with another person especially draining. I find continually having to try and make conversation excessively draining and often you can be perceived as being quiet or uninterested in conversation. This is not always the case. I find jokes are often confusing and I do not know why people say then when they don't really have a purpose but I understand it as being or possessing a lighter side in the other person. Throughout my own life, I have struggle and still struggle with small talk and chit chat. I need to use high levels of mental energy to make sense of it and I am missing out on visual and non verbal queues in the process. It is really difficult to have a lighter side.

People often find it difficult to perceive sensory overload but it is like the light you see becomes intense and your ears super sensitive. When under pressure, the drop of a spoon or even someone coughing can drive you into sensory overload and when I am stressed I can become very literal. I think a lot of Aspies are very literal when stressed and people often get rubbed up the wrong way in not always understanding the stress levels of Aspies. Perhaps sensory overload affects different people in other ways but how many of us have sensory overload difficulties? I think sounds once intense can be very threatening and drive a person into sensory overload. Watch the link by pressing the title in this post link to find out more.

Visiting Autism Works in the United Kingdom and Spain next year

I have some good news in that I will be visiting Autism Works next June to undertake 2 weeks unpaid work experience with Chris Mitchell and Peter McDonald. I hope that my trip will be able to help bring back or further help me to become more skilled to replicate the project back in Australia. In early November I will be attending the steering Committee meeting for any developments as far as things are concerned here and hopefully something positive will come out of my trip. I will also be visiting Spain on a tour prior to going to England.

On another note, I have renewed my gym membership and I will be meeting with a union delegate concerning some of the unfortunate reports, especially a very sad one of late to where an adult with Asperger Syndrome is being sacked for having Asperger Syndrome. I can only do my best to stand up and speak out about what is happening on this front and to see if I can obtain any advice. This person's story is not alone as I have heard from other adults with Asperger Syndrome being sacked for reasons unknown and through a lack of awareness and understanding.

Unfortunately my application for Library Assistant was unsuccessful for the 10th time and I am concerned about the moving around in the library. I am very concerned about the supportive line manager who has helped me a lot being moved away. What I need to emphasise is that often moving a supportive manager away from providing support to a person with Asperger Syndrome can have difficulties. Firstly the person with Asperger Syndrome is not able to obtain support and secondly they can feel alienated and ignored within the work environment and also not have someone supportive to assist them in areas of difficulty. I am still writing my book and have received a possible email of support from an American Publisher. Anyhow more updates to come later. I am going to the Toastmasters BBQ and feel my life is starting to become interesting and exciting.

Keeping the slow wheel turning

I have currently been busy with writing my book and submitting some small articles for publication through an American Magazine on issues concerning employment. I am hoping with my fingers crossed that these articles will soon be published in the upcoming magazine. Currently the developments on assisting awareness of Specialisterne or Autism Works are happening very slowly. I am not losing hope though and I am doing my best to try and assist where I can.

I am starting to expand my social circles and hopefully my sphere of influence to those around me. I would like to feel less nervous in public speaking and be more relaxed and interesting when I talk. Toastmasters is helping me with this and to develop my lighter side which I have difficulty with. Toastmasters can help anyone out really and in our world today, communication and social interaction are one of the severe deficits we continue to encounter in our busy lives. Communication for everyone is not easy and furthermore people seem to be losing the tools in order to communicate both efficiently and properly.

For young people, I see so many not having a sense of direction in their lives and this is very disturbing because they could be doing so much more than being wasting precious time. Young people need to be encouraged to participate more in improving communication and personal development rather than stagnating or losing a sense of direction in their lives.

The wheels of progress turn slow but giving up or not bothering is not the solution. Getting the message out there and providing a positive message is very important. How do you think you can change your life and what do you think you can do to feel better about yourself? We are all foundation stones and we need to work on and craft our image if we want our individual stone to reflect who we truly are and what we can become. Life is too short to waste and having a sense of direction and purpose is perhaps something to seriously consider.

A new day

I write this post at 5.00am in the morning. Last night was an interesting evening have attended a Toastmasters Meeting and having heard about the theme of Jacarandas and presenting a table topic of being under the purple Jacaranda Tree. Toastmasters is a great way to improve communication skills and more importantly develop your own abilities in this area. Toastmasters helps you to broaden your conversation and improve upon your own foundations to assist you become a better communicator. It is well worth a try! I think people are losing the art of communication and by attending a Toastmaster meeting you can hear a range of speeches and even improve on your own areas where you feel refinement is needed.

My schedule is becoming somewhat busy as I have a house sit coming up this weekend and I am going to renew my gym memberships. Also on my list of things to do is to try and look into learning Spanish as well as take some medication classes in either Yoga or Tai Chi to see if I can reduce anxiety levels.

As it is a new day, it was good to have concluded yesterday afternoon's experience. Yesterday I had to visit the Apple Store at Chermside as the Iphone I have needed replacing as this internal microphone was not working. So having the handset replaced, hopefully no more dramas. I really don't use a phone much only as a means of urgent contact or if the car breaks down. It amazed me how in the Apple Store there were lots of customers and how the majority of them seemed to poorly directed in terms of enquiry about their concerns and issues with the Apple Product.

Starting a new day is always different and doing some exercise is also important to keep you fit, energized and refreshed. The house sit I will be undertaking this weekend has a pool so if Brisbane gets humid or hot, the use of the pool will be a welcome reprieve.

The life of Marty

Set in 1955, "Marty" is about the story of one man who finds it hard to obtain love and find a girlfriend. Despite all of his efforts in not being able to get anywhere, Marty has to deal with the difficulties he confronts and pressure from his nagging mother to find a wife and have a child.

The story of Marty is very common for those of us who have in the past and still try to some extent want to find someone of the opposite sex to share our life with. Marty is a butcher and despite having the freedom of being single, he confronts his own issue of being a Bachelor in the 1950's. No matter how hard Marty tries, he just does not seem to do well in the relationship stakes. Marty lives in New York and despite being in a large city he confronts a lot of rejection and heartache.

After several attempts, Marty does meet a lady and they become friends and he has someone to share his life with. Ernest Borgnine who plays Marty does a great job in carrying this role through. Despite living with his Italian mother, perhaps you may even think he is on the Autism Spectrum but for now, you can be entitled to your own opinions. Marty seems to lack a social life, has very few friends and is in a dead end job as a Butcher. Marty is a good movie should you want to watch a stirling performance from Ernest Borgnine as Marty.

Australia's confusing railway gauges

Perhaps you may have wondered when Australia's first railway track was laid and why Australia and the Australian colonies and then states after Australian Federation adopted different railway gauges? From my understanding different railway gauges were adopted depending more so on each colonies wealth and position in the C19th. I have recently heard that different railway gauges were adopted for if Australia was invaded it would be harder if Australia were to be invaded to have a unified standard gauge. The main colonies of New South Wales, Victoria and Queensland each had a different railway gauge. New South Wales adopted the George Stephenson 4 foot 8 and a half inch gauge whereas the Victorians went with the 5 foot 3 inch gauge and Queensland the 3 foot 6 inch. From research it seems more likely that the gauges were introduced depending on the colonies wealth. New South Wales being the industrial and largest of all the colonies could afford to lack track and sleepers to accommodate the standard 4 foot 8 and a half inch whereas Victoria with its recent gold discovery could afford larger locomotives and therefore a wider gauge. Queensland covering large distances had to minimize on cost and sleepers thus adopting the narrow 3 foot 6 inch gauge.

Where then did the gauges and the width originate from? The George Stephenson Gauge consisting of the 4 foot 8 and a half inch is used in England, and the 5 foot 3 inch gauge is the Irish Gauge and the 3 foot 6 inch is the Scottish Gauge. The narrow the gauge the easier the access up and over mountains as in the case of Scotland. An interesting question is why is universal standard gauge 4 foot 8 and 1/2 inches?

The difficulty for Australia now is standardizing the gauge because this would confuse the system that exists at present. Certain locomotives from the UK and Europe were built for their respective gauges and should you ever visit the York Railway Museum you can be provided with an interesting overview of the history of railways and old steam engines on display. Stephenson's Rocket paved way for larger locomotives and a lot of these locomotives still exist in workshops and railway yards around the world. I cannot understand why the Main North Line connecting Sydney to Brisbane via the New England Tableland is disused as there are many advantages to re-opening this line. You see standard gauge tracking just being overgrown with weed if you travel from Brisbane to Armidale. Some of the track is barely visible and in some instances it has been cemented over. Railways played an important role and indeed many towns grew as the railway penetrated inaccessible areas in both Australia and the United States.

Asperger Syndrome from a male perspective

I have just received an email to advise me that my second attempt at publishing a book has been unsuccessful in that I wrote too much from my own personal accounts more so than giving advice on how to help others. The publishing industry is highly competitive and I am not really that disappointed to have received the response which I received.

I find the world around me very overwhelming at times and I try to rely on my intelligence to navigate it as best I can. I struggle in terms of the conventional patterns of life and find myself rushing like a bull at a gate more so than constructively thinking things through. Perhaps I need medication to slow me down or more importantly to assist in re-wiring my brain more to a neuro typical way of thinking. I have been on medication a couple of times before but seem at the moment to be functioning ok without it.

Not all adults with Asperger Syndrome are geniuses, some of us battle through the world as best we can and do our best to survive. I know of some adults who survive as best they can but again in an unconventional sense. So the limelight should not only shine on those of us on the Autism Spectrum who have made it in the conventional world but also the ones who are the silent achievers.

In our modern world I think speaking for everyone, we seldom look at our own personal achievements being more so in tune with wanting more in our lives and seeking perhaps higher expectations of what makes us happy. The important thing above all is maintaining good health and trying to be happy with life no matter how hard things can be. I am not ashamed to admit that I have low self esteem and not always the most out going in personalities but I am modest in my own life although largely introspective. I cannot help the way my brain is wired. It is not like I can easily obtain a brain transplant to become neuro typical but I have to live with the way I am the best way I can. I know I am not alone in that there are other adults out there and they too are far worse than I am.

The world is going to see more and more cases of Autism as we move forward as there are other adults out there who may seek diagnosis or know they already have Asperger Syndrome. My blog is my own means of getting my words and thoughts published and I don't have to deal with competition to do so. I find the outside world very cut throat and despite not always sounding happy, I should be more content in what I have achieved in my life. I am very honoured to have made new friends but more importantly, I am very proud of some of the friends I have on the Autism Spectrum. They do their best and cannot help the way they are either and sometimes I need to understand their own lives instead of thinking I can always try and help them when I need to look after myself first. As Thomas Edison said "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration", his very words resonate in those of us who are prepared to keep working as hard as we can to do the best we can.

Helping the Disability Employment Agencies to Understand

This afternoon I have contacted both Centrelink and randomly called some Disability Employment Agencies in Brisbane to gauge from them how much awareness they have in Asperger Syndrome. My objective would be to find out how I could provide a service to these agencies by way of promoting more awareness of Asperger Syndrome from a personal perspective and to see where and how an adult with Asperger Syndrome can be placed into employment. Lacking the necessary contacts makes this task almost impossible for having contacted both Centrelink and some Disability Employment Agencies in Brisbane, I am yet to receive calls regarding my expression of interest.

The awareness would involve me delivering a power point presentation to the Disability Employment Agency concerned and more importantly focusing on the strengths of clients on the employment agency's books. The service I am providing would be doing something positive as few very employment agencies may be fully aware of the needs of an adult with Asperger Syndrome and more importantly the adult's strengths and weakness in terms of employment opportunities. Once again I am probably wasting my energy but I am also sick of not using my brain more and trying to help others.

If I were successful in obtaining a grant for this project, my objective would be to greatly increase the level and support required for adults with Asperger Syndrome in finding employment. Once again complacency seems to be an issue but at least I am prepared or was prepared in giving this a go! If I receive any updates or progress, these will be posted to my blog for your information.

Living with Aspergers Syndrome

As an adult I find the difficulties I encounter is being able to somehow deal with emotions and come to terms with the world around me that does not always seem to understand me from the inside instead tending to assume or judge from the outside. It is difficult to connect with outside organisations as such organisations take a great deal of investment of mental energy and effort, not to mention the anxiety associated with getting to the venue and dealing with facial blindness. Reading signals is extremely difficult and making sense of 'hidden language" and body language is not always easy.

I seem to put a lot of time into Asperger Syndrome Advocacy and I have often been told that I spend too much time in this and should devote more time to other pursuits. I have even been told that I hold myself back and put up obstacles in moving forward with my life. I would like to remind people that say this that for the last 20 years of my life, I have tried to make an effort to get and be sociable where necessary and I feel I need help as do other adults with Asperger Syndrome or Autism that have come to terms and accepted their diagnosis. The major issue is for adults who have been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome is "where next and what do I do now and where can I get help? Despite a series of questions combined into one, there is really no simple answer but to try and do your best to cope and survive.

Things are slowly starting to change from when I first sought counseling as a student at the University of New England. It was in these counseling sessions that I first was exposed to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This was recommended by Dr Tony Attwood just after some counseling sessions I had. What this therapy does in my understanding is to find positive solutions to negative thought processes. Sometimes as a student at university I would encounter episodes of feeling down more so than depressed, and I needed to find ways of overcoming such thoughts. The thoughts could include having severe doubt in my own abilities, not being able to make friends and difficulty in handling the university environment. Having this counseling early was able to help me today but exercise is also beneficial.

I understand the world is not going to change nor people but you can only do your best where and when you can. Some people close the shutters and some people I have known from the past have chosen to delete or ignore my communication with them on Facebook. Again this is their choice and not mine. I believe that society cannot be changed but instead slowly educated on the needs of a person or people with Autism.

I have endured a lot of very challenging periods in my life. On the positive side I have traveled to a great deal many countries, met some very interesting people and made some very good friends as opposed to failing university, being unable to undertake postgraduate study and failing in a romantic relationship. I believe or more so I see with people that choose to close the shutters not so much an issue with me but more so an issue with them. People are not always able to deal with reality and tend to shirk it when or wherever possible. If the problems of the world could be fixed then other problems would be created. Humility and endurance make a person stronger and for anyone who has endured such experiences, it can help build and define their character. If for instance Abraham Lincoln were to not split rails and accept his failed as a law student, and not attempted numerous times and not run for president, would he have become President of the United States? Abraham Lincoln as well as Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison were achievers. If Edison had of given up on producing the light bulb after numerous attempts then perhaps we would still all be in darkness today?

I believe that early intervention is needed for people to understand the Autism Spectrum but this does not mean that adults diagnosed later in life are without hope. Some are critical of me and what I represent and others are supportive but reclusive. My main concern of course is the adult population because many are without help and support. We live in a very busy world and there are a lot of people neglected in this busy world. Too often having a person to take the time to listen or be around is not always possible and unfortunately for some adults they are frustrated and feel alone in the world. It is hard for something to be done and it is essential and imperative that Autism organisations both in Australia and world wide start to work towards the needs of persons with Autism more so than being competitive with each other.

People seem to not be able to relate to Autism and you often feel like you exist as a Phantom in an audience being seen by those who know you are there but not to others who don't want to know you are there. More and more awareness and publicity needs to go out about Autism and more so and importantly towards the adult population. In a meeting with Julie Attwood MLA recently I was made aware of the Minister for Disabilities in the state of Queensland being aware or more so interested in children but what about adults? The adult population tends to be forgotten about and it needs to be acted upon fast. The wheels of change move very slow in Australia and more so in Queensland but we need to ensure we keep the wheels turning when and when we can.

Connecting people with Asperger Syndrome to the rest of the world

I have recently heard about the upcoming movie "The Social Network". This movie is about the social utility Facebook and its attraction to the outside world. The question I often ask myself is. Are social networks a means of allowing people on the Autism Spectrum to communicate with each other and the world around them? When looking at the IT (Information Technology) Industry there tends to be a lot of people on the Autism Spectrum employed in it.

I believe there are 2 groups of people with both groups comprising of the computer users and the need for social contact face to face persons. If you were to obtain statistics to see the use of a computer and the means of the social utility, perhaps you would find a higher figure in the Autism Population compared to the Neuro Typical Population.

Is Facebook therefore a social utility invented by Aspies? I think Aspies find using a computer far less anxiety provoking. The computer can be used at home, an email can be sent or participation in a global Autism Forum such as "Wrong Planet" is a means for people on the Autism Spectrum to communicate. I find personally that communicating on a computer is far less anxiety provoking. You can talk to a person without meeting them face to face and have to worry about getting to the destination or being on time. When you looking at the status updates of Aspies on Facebook, you would be amazed at what you find. The Facebook Status range from very literal interpretations of the world and events around them, or sometimes even analogies in areas of confusion. Sometimes Facebook status can be interesting and sometimes they can also be sad or the person may feel down.

The computer has opened the world up to people with Asperger Syndrome as they are able to communicate to the outside world but they also need to be aware of dangers and predators. Skype can allow for global contact amongst Aspies as well as Facebook. On my own Facebook, I have a lot of Aspie friends who I talk to or keep up to date with what they are doing and it is interesting that amongst the adults on the Autism Spectrum, Facebook seems to encounter a higher usage. More Aspies are on Facebook than the NT population. It would be good to obtain figures but from personal experience, Aspie use of Facebook is higher. Perhaps also using a computer does away with the difficulties of non verbal language and the need to understand body language. How many Aspies actually use emoticons and more importantly are the emoticons being used effectively?

One of the difficulties I encounter with meeting a person Face to Face is the anxiety and social blindness you experience. I find clocks annoying because I often when anxious get confused between an hour and 1 minute on a clock face. If I have to be at a location at an exact time, I find it extremely difficult to be there on time as I usually look at my watch face to know how I can be somewhere at the exact time. As you can imagine the world of clocks is confusing. When a person says "I will be back in 5 minutes" and it is more like 20 minutes, why do they say "5 minutes" when they actually were away for 20 etc? There are a lot of gray areas in communication skills but I think Aspies struggle to see them more so than NT's. NT's seem to know how to understand them better whereas the Aspie becomes confused and can be very literal. An interesting observation to perhaps ponder is the possibility of more jewelers having Asperger Syndrome or even clock or watch makers? A need for time and having an interest in clocks may be another area to find Aspies as well as Train Spotters.

A changing workplace

Currently the University of Queensland Library is changing and such a change represents certain levels of anxiety. As in all workplaces need to change to adapt for the future, this will mean a change from the status quo.

It is often difficult to know exactly where you fit in relation to change and hopefully change will be positive but only time can tell. I am currently watching University Librarian's video cast on the changes to the University of Queensland Library and people may find this of interest and this has been included in this post by double clicking on the title page.

Do you think libraries need to go digital and if so how would such a process be undertaken and how long a time frame? What do you think the library of the future should look like? By watching this video podcast perhaps you may have some ideas as to what a future library will look like and how it will affect you as a student, academic or library user. Change is needed to perhaps open minds more but only time will demonstrate the results and whether such outcomes will be positive. I often feel anxious when workplaces change as who will be the new line manager and will they understand my situation. It can be very anxiety provoking to not know what is happening and a change of a line manager can seriously put you in a difficult situation if the line manager does not understand you abilities if the line manager is changed. A person with Asperger Syndrome can become very anxious about a work environment changing. It is interesting to know and hope that change will make the work environment positive for the future.

One of the major areas of anxiety in a workplace can be the change of a 'line manager'. This can cause anxiety because you can be changed to someone else who may not be as understanding and supportive.

Communication

I find it difficult at times for people to understand the way I see things and to understand my viewpoint. I have often 'locked horns' with a person because I am not able to understand what they are thinking and the message I am getting across. Very few people understand me fully and I often find myself existing in my own world relying on myself to be understood and navigate my way through it to the best of my ability.

I believe a lot of people cannot handle truth or reality very well. Often if you are literal about something or some actions of an organisation or a person which do not appear to be unfolding properly, often people can react saying "oh that's the way this organisation works" or "he or she may be like that because it's their nature and they are rude to everyone". The world can be a very confusing place if you see things mainly from a black and white perspective. There are often hidden meanings and perhaps important messages that you simply cannot pick up or understand.

I believe that people do not really give me enough time to be properly understood. More so than being given a chance, people often 'write me off' too early in the piece and this can have an affect on potential friendships or job situations. Just merely lacking the necessary social skills tends to cause me a major disadvantage and it is something that you have to try and use your intelligence to work around.

People do not always agree with my views and my thoughts. I do not expect them to but I believe people have to begin seeing Autism a reality in the adult population. Although I have Asperger Syndrome, I still find people somewhat defensive and critical of my actions most of which I am unable to control. The difficulty that I also find is that if you mention you have Asperger Syndrome you often are criticised for using the diagnosis as an excuse so you are never in a win situation. Communication can be difficult and I walk this earth not really understood by those around me for who I am so I spend a great deal of my time in social isolation and surviving as best I can. Even when I try to help others, I am not understood either so there is always confusion to deal with.

Trying to have hope

Today is a rather cool day and it is the middle of the week. Despite battling a bit of nasal congestion, I am just trying to take it easy in terms of my employment application. The application for the position of Library Assistant closed on Monday 20th October 2010 and I am not sure what is happening or whether or not I will be granted an interview or the possibility of promotion. All I know is that I have done no harm in submitting an employment application which has now been my 10th attempt. The way I see it is that the only way forwards is to deal with the set of cards you have and to try and deal with these cards to the best of your ability. The problem is submitting employment applications and confronting continual knock backs and this affecting your self esteem. Maybe I could make a career for myself shuffling books in a library after shelving them for so long.

The wheels of change can be very slow but all you can do is to just do the best you can in the meantime to try and do your best. I am still working on my book but have taken a break for a few days to deal with this mobile phone issue I have. The Iphone I have works except for the internal microphone.

I have a meeting for the Board of Asperger Services Australia this evening and things are just going slow at the moment. Feeling not 100%, I did not go to the gym this morning and felt like breaking my routine for a bit today.

All you can do is give things your best and try and live life and do the best you can. I will be seeing the counselor at Minds and Hearts again this Saturday for some advice but in the meantime, it is just a matter of trying to do the best I can in my current situation and have things to look forward to.

Update

I have been granted Conference Leave by the University of Queensland to attend the Queensland Autism Symposium with Dr Kate Sofronoff on Friday 5th November 2010. For more information please visit this link http://www.autismqld.com.au/userfiles/aspergersbrochure%281%29.pdf

At the conference I will be making mention of both Specialisterne http://www.specialisterne.com/ and Autism Works http://www.autismworks.co.uk/ I feel that making mention of these organisations will help the future of adolescences and adults with Asperger Syndrome that employment is possible. It is just a matter of getting my message across.

This Wednesday I meet with the Board of Asperger Services Australia, so as you are aware I am trying my best to continue with advocacy work. My book is still be written and I am slowly reaching 30 000 words. At the moment I am having some mobile phone issues as the Iphone I have has a faulty microphone which does not work. To make and receive calls, I need to use the hands free set. It would be good if people on the Autism Spectrum could be involved in testing computer software and mobile phones to avoid these faults but it is a matter of time. I have also been in touch with social firms in Melbourne. Today is another day and I don't think I will be serving on the University of Queensland Disability Sub Committee next year as the staff with a representative position appears to be vacant. I know I have served on the committee to the best of my ability but sadly not always understood. It appears that the UQ Asperger Adult Group is also struggling at the moment but once again I have done my best to try and get something started. I will be investing my energies into areas where things are looking more positive. I am looking forward to the upcoming presentation. Education really needs to change in Queensland to allow more inclusion rather than exclusion of person on the Autism Spectrum. We can draw some comfort though in that it is not all bad but situations need to improve. More updates later.

Starting a new week

This morning I woke up after having 2 sleeping pills to help me get to sleep. My mind found it hard to shut down but I think I also suffered from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. When I get this my internals feel irritated and it affects my sleep and functioning pattern. There are some foods which I personally believe really upset the digestive patterns of people on the Autism Spectrum. It is hard to narrow these down specifically but some evidence does suggest that Gluten may be the cause.

I have just been to the gym this morning and undertaken some cardio vascular exercises. These exercises being 15 minutes on the exercise bike doing a "Hill" workout which alternates between light and heavy cardio work and I averaged a speed of around 90 per minute. I also did 10 minutes on the Treadmill for 10 minutes at 5.6km and incline of 3.5. Other exercises included Chest Press, Leg Curls, and Triceps Push down. I am feeling somewhat better but have a bit of a scratchy throat which I hope does not herald the onset of a cold as this is the last thing I need right now.

I have just been to the university library and I spend my mornings in the library as I can sit down and it is quiet. I have borrowed 3 books, 2 on Spain and one on the biography of King Edward VIII. I hear the sound of an air conditioner while I am sitting in the library and some days sounds are louder than usual. It is like my ears and hearing become super sensitive to sounds.

I may go to the UQ Asperger Adult Group this afternoon as a participant but I cannot be expected to keep running the group or attending to keep the group going. This will be totally exhausting and stressful. I have a busy week ahead and Mondays are always the hardest as I have to kick start my energy and functioning levels again. I have the meeting with Asperger Services Australia Board Meeting on Wednesday night and I am going to try and go a long to the Mind for Mindfulness Worskshop to try and control stress and anxiety levels. Hopefully this week will be a good week but as far as my job application is concerned for the Library Assistant Position at the University of Queensland Library, there is nothing more I can do now. I just need to move forward as best I can and also do some more writing on my book. When I also think about relationships I feel stressed out so I don't think about them and just try to get on with life as best I can. I am also thinking about visiting Spain next year prior to visiting Chris Mitchell in the United Kingdom who is an adult with Asperger Syndrome and involved in Autism Works.

At 9.15am to 1.15pm I will be working and shelving books again in the UQ Library and doing other manual handling duties. Perhaps one day I may be able to do something else but I just have to do all I can for the moment. Life is too short to excessively worry.

Where will I be in the next 12 months?

As I look ahead to the future at the start of another week. I wonder to myself where my life is heading. Although I am able to enjoy some relative comfort in that I have a part time job working in a university library mainly shelving books and checking these books in, I wonder if I will be doing this for the rest of my life. I have survived this job for 5 years but wonder if I will be in it until retirement?! I have contemplated starting my own business and being self employed but I am not sure if I would be able to manage as there is a lot of responsibility and furthermore commitments which need to be carried out.

I often try and save up as best I can to plan a holiday and I am wondering whether I will go to Spain or to visit Ireland and Wales next year as well as England. I intend to visit friend and fellow Aspie, Chris Mitchell.

I also wonder if I can assist in getting either Specialisterne or Autism Works to Australia to employ adults on the Autism Spectrum so there is a lot going on. I have a Board Meeting to attend this week with Asperger Services Australia and my presentation with Dr Kate Sofronoff from the University of Queensland Department of Psychology on Friday 5th November 2010 with Autism Queensland. Apart from this, I am attending a few meetings of Toastmasters and trying my best to be sociable where I can. This is not easy as I have to try and learn basic chit chat which I am getting help with from the university in speech pathology.

Often progress is slow and I can only invest my time where I am least likely to confront disappoint and humiliation. I feel though more awareness is becoming available about the work which is being done by many on the Autism front. I am not sure if I will be successful in the Library Assistant Position I applied for at the University of Queensland but I know I can only try my best. If I am knocked back for the 12th time, then I think it will be wise I invest my energies into starting my own business as I know I can do more but this negative stereotype needs to be lifted. I just need time to demonstrate my skills and abilities.

It is Sunday night, and I hope things will soon look more positive. I have some house sits next year to look forward to and a possible overseas trip but I would like to be in a job I enjoy doing also. I have my fingers crossed.

Growing Orchids

As a teenager one of my obsessions was growing orchids. I began my interest in growing orchids at the age of 13. My Grandmother's next door neighbour grew orchids and I was fascinated at how an orchid could grow on a tree trunk with little or not nutrients and could produce such beautiful flowers. I can also remember the scent of the orchids come spring when all the tree trunks in this neighbour's garden would be alive with such colourful and delicate flowers.

I began my orchid collection over time. I used to visit orchid shows in Brisbane and it was here that I would look for different orchid species to add to my already growing collection. Some of the orchids were easy to grow and others more challenges. There are different types of orchid with the many species including:

Dendrobium
Cattelya
Cymbidium
Oncidium
Paphiopedilum

While I endured my 'war service' in high school, I would retreat into the world of growing orchids and some of the orchid species I had within my collection lasted for several years. I used to be able to get the orchids to flower feeding them half strength fertilizer and producing wonderful blooms.

People do not realise that orchids are relatively easy to grow. Although they are liked because of their rarity, the flowers are distinct and I guess have their own symmetrical charm. I grew orchids up until I started university but lost interest in them as I was between Brisbane and Armidale and could not always attend to them. I still have some orchids now but I have lost quite a lot to recent drought and virus.

Floating at sea

Floating at Sea by Garry Burge

I often feel like a small ship floating at sea
The waves crash against my sides
It is often hard to exist and for the other ships to see
When I have traveled many distances and experiences different tides

No matter how hard you traverse the waters
And how hard you invest your energies into moving forward
The many conventions feel like tortures
Being at mid sea you feel like a Stalwart

Other ships pass you by big and small
Yet they pass you by never really noticing that you exist
You wait for your call
And hope that by one day being acknowledged you can do something that will persist

Life at mid sea has no bottom to anchor as the ocean is too deep
You can just float and hope that one day you can move forward
Although you may be aware that your interior may leak
You can only try your best to continue and be a stalwart.

There are many ships floating at mid sea
And there are some that stand the test of endurance
Some just like to be
And there are some that don't want too much turbulence
When trying to get somewhere in life's big humanity tree.

The ship's captain sees a veil of blue
Raising his flag to be seen
His thoughts he believes are true
Only to be acknowledged with a passing glean

The next time you are at sea
Acknowledge all the ships that exist
Instead of being a dog which fends off a flea
See those small ships that try and persist

All the ships exist in life's big tree
Some may be big and others small
For any ship floating at sea
Look out for the ones that don't always stand out tall.

House sitting

Over the coming months, I am looking into doing more House Sitting. As I have been approached to undertake more house sits, I am looking ahead to see if there are any other opportunities in this valuable service. A possible motto being:

"While you are a way don't fear as your pets wont be astray. Having me in your house also keeps your home safe and your fears of not having someone reliable in your home away".

I have worked with a House Sitting Agency and have had reference checks so my character and personal qualities remain in good standing. This is what I do in terms of house sitting:

When a person decides to take a holiday and is absent from their home, I have 2 initial meetings with them. In the first meeting, I arrange to meet the person at the home and will only take on the job if the house is respectable, clean and in good order. With the home owner I look around the house and discuss any issues, concerns or desires they want for their home. My main emphasis of course is looking after pets while owners are away and ensuring parents are looked after, fed and cared for while the owner is away. I also will find out about other duties such as collecting mail, doing minor garden work, and other duties as required. At the first meeting, I find out first hand about the wishes of the home owner and work out my bearings in the home and to find out emergency contacts. I ensure that the homeowner feels reassured while away that their pets are in safe hands and furthermore I am occupying their house while they are away on holiday. I also discuss other matters with the occupants which are of importance also.

There are benefits to both the house owner and the house sitter.

The home owner has reassurance while away that their home is safe, secure and their pets are being looked after, exercised and fed accordingly. Mail is also fetched and the home is occupied creating less likely potential for security risk in the house being unoccupied. Also pets do not have to put into a boarding facility thus reducing hassle significantly and also pets do not experience separation anxiety. Less stress on pets also and hassle as the pet stays in the home.

The house sitter. The person is able to maintain an independent lifestyle and can ensure that their lifestyle skills are continuing to be used such as cooking and looking after themself. Furthermore, if the person enjoys animals, these animals can be looked after and cared for as well as the house sitter feeling a sense of responsibility in looking after the home owner's property and house while they are away. Electricity and water bills are not wasted as someone is putting these to use rather than having the home owner paying 'dead' money and rent when nobody is in the home.

Once I have met with the home owner, and worked out the dates of departure and arrival, and other important matters, I then organise a second meeting before departure to discuss the finer and more important details of looking after the animals and also obtaining keys to the premises in order for my occupancy when the home owner is away. I also arrange to contact home owners while away to keep them informed of the progress of pets and to be reassured that their home is in safe hands.

I have obtained positive feedback from the work I undertake and should you be interested in me house sitting for you, you can also contact Simple Sitting House Sitting http://www.simplysitting.com.au/ I only undertake house sitting through this service or if I am referred to by friends and other networks I know of for service.

I am house sitting in the months of January, March, and April 2011 and will be away in May 2011. Any other months I am free for providing service should I be contacted or anyone interested.

What I am doing

Today is a cold day for Brisbane. It has rained over the past week now to clear to reveal a blue sky and cold winds. I am feeling much happier as I have a house sit coming up in March to April next year where I am looking after 2 cats in a nice house, and garden with some orchids. Despite the Iphone still not working and a telephone that I had to fiddle around to get to work last night, things are seeming to be just fine. I am also looking into a trip to England next May to include a visit to Wales and Ireland also.

I am writing some more on my book today and am reaching close to 27 000 words. I also have a presentation to deliver on Friday 5th November 2010 on Asperger Syndrome making the transition from school into employment so I am keeping busy. I was asked this morning about Autism and whether or not it is hereditary. It is exactly hard to pin point this answer but I am sure I will be speaking with Professor Attwood at some stage and I will find out what Tony may have to say in relation to this question. I have also put in an application for a part time Library Assistant Position at the University of Queensland Social Sciences Library which closes on Monday 18th October 2010. I don't know what my chances will be like but I can only try my best.

I am currently reading "Wolf Hall" which is set in the time of Henry VIII and despite it being a hard book to get into, I will be doing some more reading this afternoon and also doing some research for my upcoming presentation on 5th November 2010. I am reading more or less about the transition from school into employment for adults with Asperger Syndrome. Besides this I will also be visiting a Toastmasters Club and attending the Toastmasters Conference being held at UQ on Saturday 30th October 2010.

So a lot is happening for me just at present and I am doing my best to help out where I can. Yesterday, I met with Julie Attwood MLA who is the Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Disabilities in Queensland. I had an audience with Julie and informed her of the work Chris Mitchell and Peter McDonald are doing in the United Kingdom as far as Autism Works are undertaking. I also informed Julie of my advocacy work and the UQ Asperger Adult Group. I also met with Dr Kate Sofronoff regarding my upcoming presentation so over the coming days, weeks and months and years, my blog will be kept up to date with my activities, and advocacy work. Although I am not conventional, I do enjoy my life seeing it from an unconventional perspective. I am proud of my achievements, the friends I have and the people I know. I have a lot to be thankful for and I am happy with how things are moving a long at present. Some people don't want to bother with me and that's their loss and not mine. Life is too short to worry about such matters.

Social Network Blackout To Raise Money For Autism

How to participate in "Social Network Blackout"

"Facebook and Twitter will be awfully quiet come Nov. 1 if a slew of autism advocacy groups have their way.

Advocates around the globe are pushing for a one day “communication shutdown” in an effort to create awareness and raise funds for autism organizations in more than 40 countries.

Since socialization is often one of the most difficult aspects of life for individuals with autism, organizers are asking participants to stop using social networks in an effort to understand what having autism is like.

“I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream,” said Temple Grandin, a prominent self-advocate. “People will have some idea of what this feels like when they take part in Communication Shutdown.”

Participants in the social networking blackout will download an application, which will post a message to their Facebook and Twitter pages indicating that they are not using the websites on Nov. 1 in solidarity with those who have autism. Proceeds from the $5 app will benefit autism awareness groups worldwide, organizers say.

In the United States, the HollyRod Foundation, the Autism Society of Colorado and Giant Steps Illinois will be the main recipients of funding. Additional money will be placed in a trust so that grants can be issued to other community-based organizations".

The case for early intervention and what can be done

In the early years of a child's life an early diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome or Autism is a good means of identifying the situation and allowing for a means of awareness, intervention and understanding. What can be done therefore at an early age?

1. Try to assist the child wherever possible to obtain support and services
2. Find a school which understands and provides support
3. Nurture the special interest and try to encourage where necessary an interest in the mainstream syllabus.
4. Join an organisation and look very carefully for career options after school has finished.

I can only speak as an adult affected by Autism and I may wrongly be judged or seen as being obsessed with the Autism Spectrum but if I am not to speak or share my thoughts, will people ever really understand?

In my own life, I was not diagnosed until I was 26 years of age, and for me my earlier years were not really happy memories as very little was known about the Autism Spectrum and more importantly I was not able to be helped or understood earlier. From personal experience, early diagnosis and intervention is far better than letting things go until later in life. It is harder to make friends and find a place in the world. I find constantly that I am unable to advance from my current situation in employment for despite submitting employment applications, I just do not seem to get anywhere. I fear that for the rest of my life that I will be shelving books in a library and doing library collections of picking up books unused from library desks when I could be doing more. People may say what is it I want to do and why am I not grateful for what I have? To put it simply I am not money driven and I find it confusing that despite having to work, I am more or less having to do something I do not really want to do and feel frustrated that I cannot do more! I hope in this lifetime that I can help others with Asperger Syndrome to obtain employment and keep a job. Please do not get me wrong, I just would like to be doing something where I help other people and currently I would like to try and help adults on the Autism Spectrum obtain employment.

People with Autism need time to demonstrate their skills and abilities and are often confused from personal experience in the hierarchical nature of having to work. People say for instance that I have an easy life but they do not really see the personal struggles I endure personally in my own life. They do not see that despite devoting a lot of hard work and energy into advocacy of Asperger Syndrome that I am even told by a counselor that I use AS as too much as an excuse to hold myself back. I often feel totally isolated from humanity and can only rely on my own intelligence to try and problem solve and make sense of the world around me. This in itself can be very difficult and you can only do your best.

We need in schools to make accommodations for persons on the spectrum and I am aware that I do not have magical letters at the end of my name but I can speak from personal experience and surely this means something? On Friday 5th November I will be speaking at the Autism Queensland Symposium about the transition from school into employment. I intend to in this presentation provide some awareness and information about how this process can be made easier and I would encourage those of you interested to attend.

I also have a link to a book I appear in called "Aquarmarine Blue - 5 Personal Stories of College Students with Autism. I hope this book may prove useful.

Taking steps to be positive

The wheels of progress and change turn very slowly. What can be done therefore to make a positive change? Firstly, Australia needs to pass and Autism Bill to ensure that support and services are made available and more so a greater injection of Autism Awareness into society. Yesterday I spoke to Jane who has a nephew Max with Asperger Syndrome. He is 11 years old and in Primary School and has an interest in racing cars. He talks non stop about racing cars, knows everything about them and his parents have taken him to racing car events, and furthermore he has seen how a racing car works and how they are repaired etc. Despite his strong interest and obsession in racing cars and being in a school which understands his needs and provides him support, Max has a precarious situation concerning what high school his parents are wanting to send him to. Their concern is what employment will Max obtain when he grows up and more importantly will there be a high school which will help Max to be supported and immune from bullying and other difficulties etc? Like Jane, I have been contacted by other parents concerned about the same situation, what is there for their child's future when their child becomes and adult and needs to find employment?

I believe that change is possible despite the very slow wheel of progress turning at the moment. All that is needed is for a member of parliament within the Australian Parliament no matter what persuasion to put up a Private Members Bill to introduce an Autism Bill. Sadly the Autism Community was let down by a member of parliament whom we thought may afford other this opportunity only to now feel abandoned and let down by the member concerned. There is still a glimmer of hope though in that I do try wherever possible to find an understanding member of parliament to allow for such an opportunity to occur. What is needed and required is for the Autism Bill to work on or closely with the Autism Bill which was passed in the United Kingdom in 2009. You can visit information on this bill by clicking on the title of this post "Taking steps to be positive". I am currently writing a book but I need help with having the book edited as my grammar needs some polishing. My book proposal has been put forwarded to a publisher and is undergoing consideration now for publication. I can only hope that it will be considered but only time will tell.

In my current situation, I am in employment but I feel that if nothing changes I will be doing the same job for the rest of my life and believe I could do a lot more, but need to be given a chance. I am looking at visiting the United Kingdom in May 2011 to visit Autism Works and undertake some unpaid work experience in order to not cause issues as terms as visa requirements impose. In my work experience, I hope to learn valuable skills which can be brought back to Australia and hopefully adopted in order to allow for adults on the Autism Spectrum to be trained and employed. Rather than existing on pensions and feeling let down and having low self esteem, having employment would greatly enrich and adult with Asperger Syndrome within their life.

I feel at the moment like a lonely poppy in a field, I feel that despite all my efforts to try and make change, that I am virtually hitting my head against a brick wall. I cannot understand why people avoid me and more importantly the only solution available to deal with my current circumstances is to either try harder or be medicated in order to be controlled by NT's. I cannot understand why this is the case and more importantly why people distance themselves from Autism as the not knowing and not wanting to help or understand just makes things especially harder. I am told I am negative but I feel I am telling things as they are and people need to try and understand more so than glance over or ignore. I hope that soon an Autism Bill will be considered but for now I just have to persevere and work as best I can in a shadow. I really hope things change soon.

The Autism Vaccine Debate and finding a cure

A fellow Aspie informed me this afternoon of a negative campaign happening in the United States concerning Autism and vaccine. I was informed personally by this friend that vaccines are seen as a problem and furthermore there is an attack on pharmaceutical companies and the medical profession for apparently vaccinating children at an early age. Look surely we need to stop trying to see Autism as a negative and more so a positive. Why as a society do we need to cure people who are on the Autism Spectrum? What also gives society the right to say that all people should be regular and other needs and attributes cured?

I think as a society we have to stop closing the shutters on Autism and seeing it as some kind of burden because we can actually learn from people who have Asperger Syndrome and I see Aspies as playing an essential role in ensuring society is kept in check. More importantly there are break throughs happening in terms of employing person on the Autism Spectrum and there are many benefits upon doing so.

I may not be an expert nor have I the ability to write a book and get it published but I am a person with Asperger Syndrome. I was never vaccinated at an early age and blaming Autism fairly and squarely on vaccine is just an over rated American propaganda exercise. Certain high profile people have to think with their heads more so than their egos as to what they are really saying and assuming they pretend to know. We as a society need to see the merits and benefits of persons on the Autism Spectrum and give them a chance and a go in life. I know a lot of adults who I believe have just given up knowing that they will never be understood and supported. Surely this can change?!! People with Autism do not have to hear all blame falling on vaccine as it is skirting away and avoiding the real issue of doing something positive and constructive about Autism. We need to give people on the Autism Spectrum a chance and stop writing them off and stereotyping them. People on the Autism Spectrum think and behave differently and why should they confront attack or criticism etc. Surely a more positive focus needs to be on Autism and lets do something about it! As a society stop closing the shutters and pretending Autism is too difficult a problem and start acting responsibly. Start to learn, listen, understand more so than exclude, avoid and reject. Together we can make a difference but continuing to be ignorant is not going to change anything, it is just suppressing and avoiding a problem that can be nurtured and encouraged by a positive means and direction.

Autism Works Update

I have been in correspondence with both Peter McDonald and Chris Mitchell. I am posting again about Autism Works because good news is being received regarding this employer. I will be visiting Autism Works in the UK next May to shadow and find out the work which is going on within this organisation. In the meantime, please stay tuned to the Autism Works website http://www.autismworks.co.uk/ for updates. Please note that I will be adding Autism Works to my blog links also

The history of movies

In both this century and the Twentieth Century, movies have played a major role in our lives. The first movies were silent and were filmed in small movies houses and cities and towns. Comprising of only a pianist and the dialog appearing in print, people found themselves drawn to stories as they were played out on a screen with often a pianist in the audience to provide flow and ambiance while the picture ran.

The earliest movie that we perhaps recall is Gone With The Wind which was filmed in 1939. Starring Clarke Gable as Rhett Butler and Vivian Leigh as Scarlet O'Hara, Margaret Michell's epic novel came to life with both sound and colour before our eyes. The role of Scarlet O'Hara was highly sort after with actresses Lucille Ball, and other notable celebrities all putting their hand up to play the part.

As we move forward with movie production a lot of the great actors of yesterday are sadly leaving us with the passing recently of Tony Curtis and Jean Simmons. Tony Curtis appeared in "Houdini" a long side Janet Leigh in 1953. This was a good movie which depicted the life of Houdini, his magician and escaping tricks. A lot of the older movies have perhaps become out of date but many of the films can still be watched by visiting a library, video store or video shop. It is personal choice as to what movies you like. Gregory Peck was an excellent actor and he starred in many movies and was perhaps best known for playing the lawyer Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mockingbird". Other movies of note include "Mcarthur" and "A Big Country".

When you look at the history of movies, the movie industry has certainly evolved from the earliest silent movies to the "talkies" which first had complementary sound with them. Some actors in the silent period were unable to work in the 'talkies' as their voices unfortunately did not carry very well with sound. If you ever watch the movie "Singing in the Rain" you can be given a glimpse of the change over to sound in 1927.

The first "talky" movie was the Jazz Singer and by clicking on this post you will be provided with a movie segment of this movie. The Jazz Singer as I understand traced the life of Al Jolson to his singing career.

I recently watched Michael Caine in "Harry Brown". Harry Brown is a senior citizen who lives in one of London's downtrodden suburbs and he is confronted by youth and gang violence. Harry's friend, Leonard Attwell is killed by a youth gang and Harry frustrated and socially isolated starts to take vigilante behaviour on the gangs. Despite his age and past military experience, the movie is somewhat violent and distressing but well worth watching to see the sad cases of attacks on senior citizens within society. Michael Caine does a good job in the film and he carries his role very well. There are many movies out there and perhaps seeing some older movies compared to the new one can provide you with an overview of the entertainment industry and you may find a movie well worth watching for yourself.

Helping others out

This afternoon I mailed Asperger Services Australia a $100 book voucher so that books can be purchased for the library concerning both adults and children. As the office was flooded with the recent rain in Brisbane, I was informed that 10cm of rain caused damage to the office and files and papers have been sadly destroyed. I just hope that some positive light may occur and Asperger Services Australia can return to normal or more so obtain some assistance.

Asperger Services Australia does a lot of hard work raising awareness and helping to get the message out there for people with Asperger Syndrome. If it weren't for this organisation, we would be totally alone. Lets hope things return to normal soon and get back on track.

I have often been accused of being selfish but if I were really selfish then wouldn't the fact that I put out my spare time in helping raise awareness be really and act of selfishness? Furthermore, if I was also selfish then why do I care about people with Asperger Syndrome in terms of getting support and services? I am not a perfect person and I do not profess or pretend to be. I am a battler and I can only try my best to help where I can. There are also others in the community who put time and effort out also.

What people think

I currently feel frustrated with some aspects of my life that when I try to do more and feel I could achieve a great deal that I confront people who do not understand me. I have been for the past 5 years felt frustrated in being within my current situation as I feel I am held back and that a stereotype exists about my own abilities and potential within an employment sense. I am given manual handling jobs but not jobs which involve thinking. I just hope that one day I can be involved in helping people with Asperger Syndrome in finding employment rather than existing within an employment framework where the main focus is on making money. People with Asperger Syndrome like to feel valued in employment and afforded the opportunity to demonstrate their skills and abilities more so than deal with a hierarchy which continually tries to not reward incentive. I just don't understand why. I see Equal Opportunity of working against a person with Asperger Syndrome as why does the opportunity go to other people more so than those who work hard and try to do their best. I also wonder if standing for the Disability Sub Committee is also worthwhile as I tried to serve to the best of my ability feeling my contribution worthless.

People often say or think that I am putting myself down or more importantly under selling myself in a confidence sense. I would like to emphasise that I am merely pointing out where my strengths and weaknesses exist. I am not a person who is talented and there are people on the Autism Spectrum who just battle through their lives on a day to day basis. All you can really do is continue to find ways to expand your networks and not believe or expect that you will be in the same job for the rest of your life being both undervalued and appreciated. If you try and do the right thing also, you just never seem to be acknowledged. I hope to eventually help people with Asperger Syndrome find employment and have a chance in being within work. I am looking at and exploring avenues to make this a reality but in the meantime, I just need to get the message out that more needs to be done for people with AS.

I felt proud of myself for having attended a meeting of Toastmasters last night and being around people who provided encouragement. I was brave to do so and I realised that there is a world out there who can be encouraging rather than discouraging. Society may hold expectations on people to either be achievers or just plodders, but I do believe I can do a lot more. Just shelving books in a library or sorting books in a warehouse is just a job to me but it is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I know I can do more and I hope to help with making employment possible for people with Asperger Syndrome in the world. Too often you struggle on your own and are largely misunderstood or offend hierarchy. I hate being controlled and told what to do. I prefer to work on my own and I do not need people to give me direction which seems evident in NT employment. I was even asked on one occasion "What do you expect and what do you want us to do?". I felt the question very confrontational as it is not about me, it is about understanding better and raising levels of awareness so that more people and potential employers are aware. Within hierarchy I am always seen as some kind of trouble maker because I dare speak my mind. As I must again re emphasize, I am getting the message out there. I find it hard to trust people and to know who is honest and whom I can confide in but you can only do your best. I hope things change in the future and people need to not be so scared of change.

People can be very confrontational at times and you can get into trouble for speaking your mind and see the world from a different perspective. Does not this mean that we need to get the message out there? I have also found out that despite my efforts, that my book needs a lot of work? Why are things such a struggle and why do you have to battle all the time to get your voice heard? Why also do people react to you in a hostile matter whenever you point out a situation to them may need looking into or is not working properly and could be better?

Attending Toastmasters

Tonight I attended a Toastmasters meeting and I was made to feel welcome. The meeting went for 2 hours and included the following:

Toastmaster
Traveling Tale
Word
Speech 1
Table Topics
Evaluation Speech
Raffle
Presidents closing remarks and award presentations

Toastmasters is a means for all people to improve on their public speaking abilities. It helps people to speak more confidentially and is world wide. You also received feedback on what things you did properly and areas which need improvement. I would encourage anybody to attend a meeting if they can and find out what happens. You don't know what you are missing!

Autism Works Employment for Adults with Asperger Syndrome and Autism

Autism Works is a United Kingdom based employer of adults with Asperger Syndrome and Autism based in the north of England. Friend and fellow Aspie - Chris Mitchell is involved in the project and the website is being launched as of today.

For anyone interested the work Chris is doing and colleague Peter is very important in that it provides potential hope for adults with Asperger Syndrome and Autism to obtain employment. I have been friends with Chris since late 1999 when I first met and corresponded with him on a website knows as "University Students With Asperger Syndrome". I am in touch with Chris regularly and the work he is doing seems very optimistic and others may want to visit his website which is http://www.autismworks.co.uk/

I intend to visit Chris next May and find out what work he is doing and hopefully Chris will be able to visit Australia with Peter and talk about this project here. Brisbane of course would be happy to host Chris for such an event and overtime more information and awareness will evolve.

I am sure there are many of us who will be following Autism Works with great interest and please feel free to visit their website in this pilot and pioneering project.

Feeling more confident

Since undertaking exercise I am starting to feel more confident and less anxious. I am finding that I do not have to control anxiety so much anymore and my mind is starting to feel a lot more free. I have recently applied for a Library Assistant Position on a part time basis at the University of Queensland Library and I am going to start looking into Toastmasters. Toastmasters helps to build confidence and public speaking ability. I understand that it also provides feedback on ways you can improve on your public speaking and in general conversation.

As I will be speaking on Friday 5th November 2010 with Dr Kate Sofronoff and be more than likely involved with future public speaking commitments, being more confident and able to deliver will be paramount. I also need to build up my networks if I want to go beyond just shelving books in a library for the rest of my life. It has been suggested to me that I contact Asperger Services Australia about contacting Toastmasters Australian Headquarters to find out about how more adults with Asperger Syndrome can learn public speaking, confidence and job interview skills. This is something I have mentioned to Asperger Services Australia for them to bring up at their next Board Meeting.

There are many benefits to exercise and building networks and more Aspies need to try harder where they can to improve on their own lives where they can. It is hard for us to navigate the social world but we need to try harder if we want to break down more barriers that prevent us from moving ahead. If anyone is interested in Toastmasters you can visit their link http://www.toastmasters.org.au/ Exercise has many benefits in severely reducing anxiety and I am also looking at a Mind for Mindfulness Course which was suggested to me by Chris Mitchell. More updates later but I hope that some of you may be interested in some of the possibilities available. I have submitted my book draft to Jessica Kingsley Publishers also and I am very interested in the work Chris Mitchell is doing with Autism Works in the United Kingdom. Please visit the following link for more information http://www.autismworks.co.uk/

The Sensory Issues

I wonder if both Aspies and NT's (Neuro Typicals) communicate differently? I find that NT's tend to be more confusing to understand and their means of communication and signals are often always difficult to assimilate and interpret. When I am talking to someone, it can be often very difficult looking at the person in the face for you tend to look at their mouth more so than their eyes. For adults with Asperger Syndrome, looking at someone in the face is often not easy and overwhelming. I think we tend to rely more on our hearing and intelligence in order to communicate and perhaps miss out on the necessary visual queues that help carry a conversation.

The way I see it is that Aspies are only picking up about 20% of communication visual information but perhaps higher functioning Aspies in short periods of immense concentration can perhaps pick up 85% but they become mentally exhausted afterwards. Research is needed as to why Aspies are space dwellers and why we like to have our own space away from people. Perhaps our eyes, ears and noses become over sensitized and our minds over stimulated from too much interaction that our brains need to wind down?

I often watch some clips from "Temple Grandin" on how she adapted and coped with the sensory issues and I would recommend that anyone see her film. Are we as Aspies exposed to a different way of learning and receiving information? I think Temple Grandin is someone that has helped tremendously in making life much easier for those of us who are adults today.

Dr Temple Grandin on Asperger Syndrome in employment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok6jkDiJFAQ

The need for Aspies in employment

As the world grows and you see the need for more consumer products to widespread, you have to ask yourself the question. Are products that are purchased today really being tested thoroughly for weakness and for fault? I have recently purchased an Iphone in June of this year and I find the Iphone faulty as the microphone does not work at all and has also been faulty. I find also when I purchase other products that there is more a mass production of quantity more so than quality.

I have found out that most Information Technology jobs are based on graduate entry and social skills more so than actual focus on detail and attention. If this is so then perhaps a lot of items and products may be failing the attention to detail and thorough testing requirements needed for consumer usage. Surely a role which focuses on through testing and reliability could be a job for an adult on the Autism Spectrum? Adults with Asperger Syndrome have a mind set for errors and like to ensure that things are working properly with the elimination of possible errors and faults.

I remember being informed of the Aspie Mechanic who fixed a car in a service for an extended more than a service period warranty. He was later sacked for not towing the line and what needs to be focused on and realised is that can Aspies do the jobs that other people find too boring or difficult? This is why people with Asperger Syndrome need to be put to work as their contributions could make a lot of difference in terms of the quality aspect more so than the quantity outlay. I have been in touch with friend and fellow Aspie, Chris Mitchell. Chris is currently working for Autism Works in the UK after quitting his boring and stereotyped job before. He is happy to be doing something more productive and useful and I hope one day to assist where I can within this organisation as I could be doing a lot more and wanting to deliver a great deal to helping adults with Asperger Syndrome find employment. I intend to visit Chris in the United Kingdom next year and shadow him and Peter McDonald who also works in Autism Works. I intend to bring back these suggestions to Australia or possibly consider working in the United Kingdom but I am not sure how things will pan out exactly just as yet.

I intend to visit a Toastmasters Club and find out about possible training of Toastmasters to be more understanding of persons with Asperger Syndrome to help with confidence building and improving communication skills. Can employing adults with Asperger Syndrome therefore improve quality and improve quantity also? A question that needs to be asked and hopefully soon answered with greater employment opportunity for adults with Asperger Syndrome.

Trying to make progress

Yesterday I applied again for the 20th time for a Library Assistant Position and I am hoping that I will be given a chance to go beyond my current situation and position. It would be good to be able to learn more and contribute my energies at a higher level than just mainly shelving books and handling books which is what I am doing currently. It is often hard to get ahead unless you are given a chance to demonstrate your skills and abilities.

I am hoping that I am able to work part time which will allow me to continue with the Asperger Syndrome Advocacy I do in my spare time. I have also sent Dr Tony Attwood the rough draft I am writing in my book. Having the chance to publish something is also another hurdle because the publishing industry is very competitive at the moment. I have written approximately 26 000 words in this book.

The future of libraries is also changing and I believe that persons with Asperger Syndrome would play a beneficial role in the digitization process. What is needed is for necessary training and funding to assist libraries in making the transformation from text to a digital format. I would be interested in finding out the procedure involved for digitilising library information and it would be good if the Specialisterne concept of employing adults with Asperger Syndrome in computer software testing could be applied to an experimentation in library digitalisation software.

Working in a library allows me to see and understand the future of how I think a library is going to move forward in the future. Current students seem to spend a great deal of their time and study on a computer screen and for this information needs to be efficient and accessible. A future library would be an area of greater spare with books being replaced by a means of them being on line. The Librarian would need to become more Information Technology Trained and ensure that their subject areas have up to date information within a digital format. I see the library industry going through a dramatic change over the next 10 years. Perhaps the library will just have staff who have library experience without the need for Librarians, Library Assistants and other positions? It is something which needs to be thought about more. There are many benefits to digitalising books and one can only imagine what the future library will look like. Working in a university library perhaps the Stanford University Library is the way of the future? Please visit this link for more information http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=jMus6tZifGY&feature=related