Being wrongfully stereotyped.

Often a lot of people with Asperger Syndrome are wrongfully stereotyped or stereotyped in a negative way. People may say for instance, he does things like that because of his AS. Often this can have a negative effect for the person with Asperger Syndrome as they are being assessed more so on their condition than who they are as a person. I really am critical of the diagnostic criteria for people on the Autistic Spectrum for some of the characteristics do not genuinely outline a person's behaviour. For instance a lot of Aspies are assessed as having no feelings or prefer routine and structure. Some of the diagnostic criteria somewhat outline the condition but has actual research been carried out on Aspies to verify the diagnostic criteria? Within work environments, adults with Asperger Syndrome can be placed into routine positions with no real chance of promotion because it is perceived that they prefer routine and don't want the stress of higher skilled positions. This is not always the case. Often time is needed to allow the individual concerned an adjustment phase into a position of employment. Often wrongful stereotyping can sometimes lead to exploitation when employees and co workers may say "Oh we will give this boring job to Joe as we know that he likes routine and he has AS, so he wont complain". Often the person with AS finds it difficult to explain the situation at the time and to explain their situation more in particular. Heightened anxiety levels and sensory stimulation can make the job doubly impossible. Rather than have the time to defend their situation and to be heard, the person with Asperger Syndrome just caves into anything as a means of escape and can in fact lose out in terms of learning other opportunities or skills. People with Asperger Syndrome do have good follow through and are conscientious people. Sometimes we are criticised for being obsessed or intense when we can only do and think so much at a time. Adults fail in relationships and job interviews because of stereotyping in a negative sense rather than provided with the opportunity for a period of adjustment and settling into a given task or situation. Some adults with AS have good brains and minds but they end up working in Pizza Parlors or as Ticket Inspectors as little interaction is required an no real thought either. The difficult thing is unemployment for this in turn creates low self esteem. Aspies are not anti social people, we are just people who think differently and we need alone time to recharge our batteries. If you experience sensory overload it is not a fun experience believe me. Sounds can be virtually debilitating and finding your balance can also be inhibited. Furthermore the body may try or rather the mind shut itself down on you in certain situations. I think adults need to be assessed as having the Asperger Syndrome as part of them and the definition of disability needs to change in order to accommodate the Autistic Spectrum Disorder. People with AS are not disabled, we just think differently and respond to situations in a way that is perhaps a bit odd or peculiar. In work environments, give the adult with AS a chance in a job or a promotion rather than stereotyping them by the supposed diagnostic criteria. Many adults have great attributes, a lot of knowledge and useful skills at their disposal and some adults are just conscientious and very loyal. Learn to see the person rather than the condition and try not to see the person with AS as having a disability but more so a special skill. Yes we do get anxious but don't always blame our actions on our anxiety levels. I remember an employment consultant constantly used this to take the line of least resistance when I could have had the opportunity of actually explaining myself to this previous employer. Sometimes the symptoms of AS can be used to negative stereotype when the person with AS may have in fact a very valuable contribution or suggestion to make in relation to a situation. Asperger Syndrome and Employment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj9_WKbbZwA

How much do we really know?

Yesterday within the UQ Asperger Syndrome Adult Group we discussed many topics with one of them being human evolution. How and why, when and where did we as human evolve from and how old is the earth that we are custodians of? It seems that only archaeological evidence is able to assist us in pin pointing human origin. It seems that most evidence and discoveries come from Africa. The earth has existed for millions of years and its geographical composition has changed, altered and adapted within this time. If early human existed in a primitive form, then any evidence would have broken down at any rate and early civilisations perhaps used tools or means of gathering food that were very primitive. If humanity did evolve out of the slime so to speak then this process in itself would have taken a large period of time to occur and any evidence if evidence does or did exist would have been broken down over the passage of time. An interesting show which has been on television lately has been about human evolution. The show has attempted to trace the many origins of early man and the crossing of the land bridges to allow for primates, apes and early human species to exist on other parts of the world. The show also attempted to highlight why species changed, their customs and more importantly individual characteristics and features. As a society, we as humans think we are beginning to know more than previous generations but previous generations like our own suffered the same fate of mortality. As the earth ages and civilisations live upon its surface and experience a century of achievement. This period of human evolution like the many cycles is short lived. I proposed that perhaps humanity and the universe is some kind of experiment by a future life form with humanity as part of the experiment. Perhaps the experiment might have been to see how life can adapt over the many centuries and millenniums to the experiment itself? I know it sounds crazy but it was just a thought I had and perhaps it needs more explanation. If you look at our civilisation compared to previous ones, we are doing a great deal more than it. We have obtained advancement in society but will the future possibilities of time and space travel exist? If humans are to adapt to such environs, then the human body will undoubtedly need to evolve with this advancement? I am not suggesting that Aliens exist or Little Green Men but perhaps there may be possibilities, who knows? As people are unaware of their existence and the reason why humanity exists, a questioning of this and a belief in a supreme and higher being may arouse our curiosity. Perhaps God is the creator of the overall experiment and will God ever be seen or properly understood? I do believe there is a God but I think some Christian teachings fail to answer specific questions. I think humanity will never know the whole truth but it will be interesting to see what future human beings look like and the world of the future if it does exist and humanity does not destroy itself. I think we only know so much and finding the total truth is something that perhaps will never fall into the grasp of humanity. I guess everyone has their own perception? One of the adults in the group is a second year Archaeology Student. Some questions for comment and consideration. Are people with Asperger Syndrome stabilizers in that non conformity ensures that the world is kept in check? How could early man have evolved from a water dwelling creature to modern may today? Will we ever unlock the mysteries to life and the creation of the universe?

Seeing Asperger Syndrome as a positive

Too often Asperger Syndrome can be seen as a negative attribute rather than a positive one or perhaps too much focus exists on a person being seen as brilliant or eccentric etc. I have come to terms with accepting the Asperger Syndrome in me and to see it within me as a learning curb to overcome my difficulties and improve on my strengths. I know of some adults who don't like the AS in them and try too hard to try and jettison it or perhaps be in denial of actually having it. This in itself makes life more difficult and furthermore disallows the opportunity to gain self acceptance. What are the positives of Asperger Syndrome then? Asperger Syndrome has with it many good characteristics. We make valuable employees, we are honest, loyal and dedicated to whatever is expected of us but some of us do struggle in the areas of executive function and performance. These factors alone can be overcome to assist in making a person more able to adjust to society but being optimistic is important. Although sadly a quality of life cannot always be achieved, it can be worked upon. Accepting who you are as a person is important and not trying to change the world and people around you. Leading by example is not a problem and furthermore friendships can be established with other Aspies which can be life long, deep, and valuable. It has taken me some years to accept my AS and I find it difficult to understand why some adults don't like having AS and they want to try and somehow distance themselves from it or deny that it exists within them. Not everybody is going to like and understand you and frankly life is too short to worry about this at any rate. I think AS has to be seen as a learning curb to where you can begin to understand how as a person you can improve and to overcome the difficulties and take on challenges before you. I dislike Aspies being stereotyped or more so how AS can be defined in some ways as a disability. AS can be a disability if you let it be but this is why life can be more challenging and interesting. If you could do things with ease and simply then where would be the reward and the accomplishment? The main difficulty I have with AS is that I see things differently to other people around me but if I thought the same as everyone else, then wouldn't the world be a boring place? Some people have close minds and I cannot help that but do you have to prove yourself to people anyway? All of the adults I know with AS are interesting people and their individuality and uniqueness is what defines them. Knowing others makes for a less likely instance of walking alone on the planet with the people around you not understanding. See it as a positive and try to move forward and let go of the baggage as difficult as it may sound.

Emotional Management

I often find managing emotions very difficult. I feel that finding a romantic relationship again will not happen in this life time and my only belief is to keep a door open. I often think marriage is something that somehow is supposed in the neuro typical sense complete a person's achievement and if you are not married nor never have been that you are committing some kind of social deviance. Whenever I manage to get out and muster the energy to do so, I see younger couples together and I dread going to certain places where I stand out and people gawk at you for being on your own. I also cannot understand why a man celebrates the end of his Bachelorhood as if it is some spectacle for all of his friends and relatives to observe. I guess I am just different and not everybody likes me and frankly I don't really care. I find emotional management a big challenge as I never really know at times what I am supposed to feel or think. If someone or a group of people are sad about something, I sometimes wonder, what emotions am I supposed to exhibit? I feel at times, well almost often that I am managing emotions all of the time. I see words rather than their symbolic means and I think I have been bruised a lot emotionally in my life People sometimes make judgments or ascertains about me and I sometimes have to defend myself which I find difficult. Not everyone gets married and those that never will should in my opinion not be judged or criticised for not doing so. Some people succeed in some ways and not in others. Just because a person is not married over 35 does not give people the right to be inquisitive or to judge. How would you like it if someone kept asking you questions that were personal and none of their business? In my own opinion, I think Aspies are always battling with emotions and because we have been hurt a lot, we often have to deal with emotions in our own way. I think Aspie men and women have similar brains and I think Aspie men have locked away a great deal of hurt and emotions within their lives. Adults with AS tend to exist on the outer and our success is measured in our own way and not in a regular sense. We just are wired differently and find the normal socialisation process difficult to understand and to fathom. I can relate to a lot of the difficulties that a lot of other Aspies have in emotional management and feel more awareness needs to happen in order to understand it better within adults. As an Aspie I find retreat into my own world is a means of coping with the world around me. I am not being judged by people all of the time and furthermore, I don't need to live up to some social expectation. I also sense that my life is often like walking a tight rope. I wish people would think more deeply than they do and for some people to not close their minds. Too often people close their minds before they actually begin to understand something. I don't think materialism makes a person happy but it satisfies their life in a comfort sense. Often you can be stereotyped into not having emotions but if this is the case then why are some people with Asperger Syndrome very kind, caring and generous people? Some Aspies have big hearts and labeling a person with AS as not having emotions or not displaying them is often complete nonsense. Why are some Aspies admitted to hospital for burn out, depression or severe meltdown? Surely this in itself is a form of emotional response to a difficult situation. I welcome the work of Australian of the Year, Professor Patrick McGorry. I agree with him that mental illness and disabilities need to be addressed and better understood. Depression is an illness to take seriously rather than brushing it off and pretending it doesn't exist or distancing someone with the illness. Sadly some Psychiatrists who are not Asperger Syndrome or mental illness aware tend to medicate these problems rather than look for solutions. Professor McGorry's advertisements are long over due and I think it is good that someone in now getting up to talk about this serious and very important problem. I have been in touch with Professor McGorry like I have Professor Tony Attwood to help as best I can to support and emphasise with their awareness campaigns. Professor Tony Attwood does a heck of a lot of awareness and so to Professor McGorry in assisting those of us who need help and understanding from the wider community. We all have an important role to play in breaking down the barriers of ignorance. Asperger Syndrome adult account http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAfWfsop1e0

Visit to Toowoomba

Yesterday I drove to Toowoomba to spend the weekend away from Brisbane and to primarily meet up with some adults with Asperger Syndrome at the University of Southern Queensland Library. Despite arriving in Toowoomba early prior to checking into the Motel, I needed to kill some time figuratively speaking so I thought I would check out High Fields Pioneer Village. This was a village similar to the one at Samford which had all the shops of the bygone era. The Butcher had his white butcher clothes, the Draper looked after materials, the Cobbler looked after shoes and the Bank Manager existed with his bank. What I like about these old places is the way people lived back then. People lived simply and seeing the old machinery and items of the time proved good also. I noticed there was no school in the village. Perhaps they forget and didn't remember to set a school up. While I was in the village, I thought to myself, "How would have my grandparents lived when they were children and a place like this?". Life was in the village and beyond the village communication was very primitive. A telegraph perhaps existed in the Telegraph Office and bits and pieces of information would have been exchanged. I always wondered why as a kid telegraph lines existed beside the railway. You see in Australia these old telegraph poles with approximately 30 to 40 cables on them linking perhaps these cables to their respective telegraph destinations. The reason it seems was that maintenance was easier if the telegraph poles were beside the railway lines. They could be repaired quickly and communication problems could be rectified instantly and easily. Telegraph was perhaps similar to what computers are today? After leaving the village, I then drove out to the University of Southern Queensland to meet with the other adults. At the meeting 2 adults turned up and I showed them the books where my account of having Asperger Syndrome have been published and I spoke to them briefly about having Asperger Syndrome myself and the challenges and difficulties confronted. They also had a chance to speak and hopefully the foundation stone has been laid for a possible USQ Adult Group but who knows? I also had a counter meal with another Aspie and by evening's end I had enough and went back to the motel room and slept as the whole day was purely exhausting. Getting the message out there about AS is not easy and you can only do so much. There are adults who are remote and socially isolated and hopefully in time they too will be linked to services and other support to overcome their difficulties. You have to be careful of burn out as well for if you try too much or expend too much energy this is what happens to you.

Achievements to date

Over the last 12 months I have become very active and involved in Asperger Syndrome awareness in adults and often I can be criticized as being obsessed or in needing other interests. I can assure you that I do have other interests but what is most and of utmost importance to me is support for adults with Asperger Syndrome. Over the last 12 months I have created 3 Facebook Groups which are growing in membership, created my own blog which I am currently writing this post on, helped establish a support group for adults with Asperger Syndrome (primarily staff and adults at university) undertaking post graduate research at university and finally been elected to the University Sub Committee for Staff with a Disability. Tomorrow I am meeting with Asperger Adults at the University of Southern Queensland and will be touching base again with Chris Mitchell an adult with Asperger Syndrome from the United Kingdom in April. I am also looking at the possibility of being involved in a film of my accounts of having Asperger Syndrome as an adult. A lot of the work and other key people who are involved in Asperger Syndrome awareness are largely unpaid for their work and do it on a voluntary basis. We are often asked why we do it but the simple answer is that so many people with Asperger Syndrome make a valuable contribution to society. Why should they have to endure social isolation, exclusion, and rejection from others when they can input and give so much back to the community? I believe I can do a great deal more than I am at present. I will be undertaking a skills enhancement where I work in the University Library shortly and I am looking forward to this at last. Here I will learn more duties than what I am presently undertaking. I will be soon heading to Europe and the family Doctor thinks I am crazy as I am only going to Europe on a 15 day tour. He believes the distance is too far and I will come back deflated. I think life is to be lived and you can only make the most of what you have in front of you. A lot of the work is outside my current employment and having time to devote to awareness is something I don't mind doing. I would rather help other people than think about myself, as I get more stimulation from this and a sense of self worth. I also monitor the behaviour of 3 cats and I am interested in their behaviour which I believe is similar to people with Asperger Syndrome. Cats have their own tendencies and characteristics of interaction which is unique to them. People don't understand me and this is not my problem. I believe God put me on this planet for a purpose and that is to help where I can. I do have my own faith but I don't believe in ramming it down other people's throats. I believe that every person finds their own place on earth and if some want to find the pathway to God then that is their choice. As an adult with Asperger Syndrome I have learned to be sociable where I need to and I have time to myself to recharge my batteries where needed after exhausting social interaction. I am a person I feel proud of as I am strong willed and I try my best to make the world a better place. Often people distance themselves from me rather than supporting me but you can only do the best you can and try to do the right thing. Over the coming weeks my blog will be updated with what I am doing so those of you interested can find out first hand. My interests are many including History, Music, Travel, Meditation, Theology, Spiritualism, Philosophy, Reading, Movies and occasionally photography. I enjoy writing too as it is therapy for me and a way to express myself which I am unable to do in conversation without struggling at it.

Is the workplace a repeat of the school yard?

Within the work environment some issues and difficulties can arise which are similar to the school yard. Like the school environment where children who are like adults are pushed around and often bullied, the same can happen within the work place. Compared to the school environment where the person with Asperger Syndrome may need protection and guidance from bullies, confusion and anxiety, the same to can apply to the work environment. Within the work environment from my experience, an inability in co-workers and other employees not being able to understand can place the person with Asperger Syndrome again at risk. Within the work environment the person with Asperger Syndrome may need help, support and guidance from a Manager or Supervisor to ensure that their performance, productivity and anxiety levels are kept in check. Both the school yard and the work environment have similarities in that a person with Asperger Syndrome may be pushed around and a misunderstanding from others may cause them to be seen as authoritative as they get on with management but are aloof from co-workers in the workplace. For the person with Asperger Syndrome they need a means of communication with an authority figure like a manager or supervisor who will understand their situation and if necessary talk through problems and issues. I have found from my own experience that often you lack authority even when you try and do the right thing and do your job. It can be difficult standing up for your rights compared to the school yard, because other co-workers like school children may think. Who is he to tell me I should do this or that? Once again ignorance can make matters difficult and the person both in the school yard and in the work environment need protection. What also can be difficult is that wrongful impressions may be seen of 'sucking up' to the boss as you do a good job and other co-workers may not. What hope do you have and not having a lighter side can make life difficult also. I tend to link the work environment to the schoolyard as often the children who play the sports and do all of the bragging are the ones who ultimately end up becoming the adrenaline junkies later in life. They are perhaps the ones who drive the fast cars, have the big houses and are able to navigate and implement the social world to their advantage. Just think about it more carefully, where do the Aspies go in the school and where do they end up at work? I am fortunate to work in a library as it was always a means of retreat for me. I have worked the last 5 years within a university library but I have confronted difficulty in promotion. Not having the necessary social skills and ability to be able to sell myself and to handle social navigation has caused me to end up being stereotyped. This person has Asperger Syndrome and likes routine so any change will only trigger his anxiety levels or escalate them. What employers fail to understand is that a person with AS needs time to adjust to any new given task and often a change in the workplace or a slow promotion may be one means of overcoming this. I am fortunate that where I work I have been granted a job skills enhancement. I am being provided with the opportunity to learn and acquire more skills and hopefully this will lead to something more stimulating than what I am doing at present. I have had to work hard to convince the library where I work that I am keen to learn new skills and I have had to go to another library outside of the workplace in order to learn and acquire more skills. I still confront a majority of people though in the workplace that do not understand Asperger Syndrome. When you have a good brain but you are stereotyped it can make things really difficult. Often people think you are getting special treatment when in fact you work hard and demonstrate your abilities differently than they do. You like to do a job properly, given good direction and be allowed the opportunity to implement and provide a high standard of work within the work environment. I am fortunate to work under good managers and some other supportive staff but some co-workers do not get me at all. Sometimes you can be pushed around a bit or totally misunderstood and sometimes even perceived as being lazy as you are unable to work full time hours. Having a good supervisor helps and especially a female one as I think female supervisors understand better. In conclusion, I do think the workplace is like the school yard but the difficult thing is that Aspies struggle in making the jump to employment. Often their inability to sell their good points and to score brownie points at job interviews can make life difficult. Furthermore, Aspies are judged too quickly within the interview process and not allowed the opportunity of time to demonstrate their skills, application and ability. Often difficulty arises and managers can be put in the awkward position of being seen as favouring Aspie employees because they work hard. The inability of making small talk and being able to make conversation with co-workers can if not controlled or informed, make the life of an Aspie difficult again. Support is needed and workplaces need to try and promote awareness of AS within the work environment and some staff unfortunately cannot change as their minds are closed. Furthermore, measures to ensure that discrimination are essential as a person with Asperger Syndrome is not discriminated on their disability, marital status and bullying. As people with Asperger Syndrome respond to routine better and have a difficulty with social skills and understanding social interaction, visual and social queues, often promotion beyond their scope of duties can be difficult. If promotion is to be considered it needs to be factored in slowly and co-workers need to understand that performance and promotion are no means a precedent to their own means of staff development. Often I feel adults are hindered within promotion as they are often stereotyped into thinking they don't want to go beyond their current scope of duties which is largely untrue. As emphasized before adults with Asperger Syndrome have a great deal of wealth and knowledge to contribute to the workplace which needs to be untapped.

Do we have people to look up to and admire?

In the world you keep hearing on the news all of the dramas, political problems and people telling people what they do wrong rather than what they do that is right and you begin to wonder how much praise or indeed hope is there. I think as the world is busy nowadays, we often don't take the time to really praise people or acknowledge their efforts in something they do which perhaps may inspire or commit good will. I grow sick and tired of all the mass produced material that is on television and all of the commercialism which surrounds us which makes us think somewhat shallow and not deeply. People have computer games where they interact on a television screen and nobody seems to really listen to anybody anymore and wound up in their own problems. In history there have been many people who have had strength to endure in times of hardship. Helen Keller was a person who despite her challenges was able to adapt to a world which wrote her off as being incapable of many functions and yet she proved her critics wrong. Can you imagine what life was like for her not being able to see or talk? Who have we got now that we can look up too for the news and media are always telling us what is wrong with the world? We keep hearing about tragedy and furthermore exposed to more and more of depersonalization I believe and nonsense which is not allowing people to think. Society seems to be gripped in this individualistic world and how many of us really know our neighbours? In Australia it always seems that some Rugby League person is seen as someone to look up to despite them cocking up their lives and repeating their same mistakes unless they have the mental aptitude to improve. I think there are many people who simply have a great deal of strength and perseverance in their lives but because people are so caught up in dramas, issues and being "busy", that they don't have the time to truly understand what is happening. I think Mother Teresa is someone I admire and look everyone has flaws as sometimes you hear people say, Mother Teresa did this and that. What you need to remember is what she did in her life and how she carried it out. I think we sadly are losing role models and the world has not many people to look up too. When we hear about someone doing something remarkable the comment usually is that sounds good, I now have to do this or that etc. I think people also demand and expect and never acknowledge or pay gratitude. How many times do you buy a present for someone or do something for them and they seem to expect it more than to just say thank you or this shirt doesn't fit me or I don't really like the colour of it? I think we live in a world where people expect more so than acknowledge and I think society is becoming more and more selfish. People don't have the time and furthermore don't really look up to others who achieve. Everyone has a story to tell and often sadly publicity goes to the wrong people. I am sick and tired of hearing about Hollywood Celebrities and how they stuff up their lives. They are not my idols and I couldn't care less what they do and what they think. Television seems to depict them as people we should follow and I cannot understand why. I like the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt wife of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt - "You must do the things you think you cannot do". We all need to take on new challenges and start to use our brains and think more. Eleanor Roosevelt This is an excellent scene from the movie Network (1976) starring Peter Finch describing the mass media http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfGdbFh6cSI&feature=related

Urbanisation and transport

I cannot understand why Queensland is behind the rest of the Australia in terms of progress. It seems that infrastructure is an ongoing problem and I am impressed with the implementation of change within the city of Brisbane. It seems that the road system within Brisbane is divided believe it or not into 2 categories. Firstly you have the Local Government Roads, State Government Roads and then the Federal Government Roads and Highways. The problem is bureaucracy and the way that the three tiers of government seem to infringe upon each other and preclude any chance of progress being made. Campbell Newman I believe is a good "Can Do" politician. No matter your politics, Campbell Newman is getting the job done in Brisbane City Council and the Clem7 Tunnel is one major implementation of infrastructure which is a go ahead for Brisbane. What I hope to see is another tunnel to be constructed taking the congestion off the Centenary/Western Freeways and Milton Road to allow traffic a fast means of getting to the north side of Brisbane. Infrastructure is happening but the local government can only be responsible for so much. If you visit London, you see "The Tube" beneath London itself. A system of underground rail networks linking all of London to each other. Brisbane and Queensland have made a series of backward steps over the years. Firstly the tram network was torn up for reasons unexplained and governments have refused to implement a 'ring road' system to alleviate Brisbane's traffic congestion. As the city sprawls so to the traffic on our roads and the inability of public transport to cope and move people around. I have been annoyed at the rail network for at times the trains are not running between Brisbane and its surrounding suburbs. Rail is a good means of getting cars off the road but it seems that some suburbs are too remote from a train station and with the trains not running, what can you do? Out of all the cities I have visited I would rank Melbourne and London to be the best in terms of public transport. In London you can wait at a station and within 2 mins a train is there and in Melbourne, the tram network gets you around regularly. In Brisbane though you can wait long periods for a bus to arrive or find out at the last minute that a train is not running due to maintenance or some other problem. As Brisbane and Sydney begin to sprawl more and more traffic problems are going to occur and some careful planning is needed to overcome this problem. We need to improve infrastructure, public transport and implement careful and strategic planning in order for the city to function effectively. I endorse Campbell Newman and the work he is doing and I hope that he is able to remain in office and do more for the city of Brisbane. As the need for improved infrastructure is needed then work can begin on improving public transport.

Libraries of the future

Having worked in several Libraries but the University, School and Parliamentary, there seems to be a movement towards digitization and often library items can be heavily demanded and not always available to those who want them. Working within the Library Industry you cannot help but notice the heavy demand on certain articles and books and the priority the library tries to provide and implement to overcome this situation. If books are digitised and available online then everyone has access to the information whereas the demand versus supply of the book existing in hard copy monograph, audio visual or journal form. The traditional library is in itself changing. Gone are the days for those of us who remember the catalog cards with the hole punched in their base existing in a file cabinet and the librarian or library staff member assisting you to find a library item from within the shelves. The role of Librarian also seems to be changing with the emphasis on more Information Technology Skills than traditional Librarian work. I can remember when I was very young and back to my first day of Grade 1 in Primary School. I remember the Library was always my retreat within the school environment as it was a means of escape from the noise and loud behaviour of other children. The Library was also a means of being surrounded by knowledge and books with pictures in them and words which could help you escape into a fantasy world. I can remember the Teacher reading books with some of them being "The Forbidden Castle" and a book about 2 ladies with different personalities living inside a Peach. There also were the Science Fiction Books and the Paranormal Books with ghost stories, and other unexplained information in them. I can remember learning about Title Pages, Author Pages, Contents Page, Index and later ISBN numbers which assisted in searching catalog information. I believe library users are now changing as libraries move into the future. The earliest known library that I can recall at the top of my head is the Library of Alexandria and perhaps this early library laid the foundations for the existence of libraries today as being a storage of information and literary works? Gone are the days of traditional libraries where the Librarian would work within a quiet environment with books being available on the shelves 95% of the time, to now where books are often in short supply to satisfy the needs of all library patrons. It seems that perhaps digitization of material is but one means of allowing items to be available to all users but the negative consequences to this will be a lot of people will be made redundant. There are a lot of advantages it seems to digitization as materials are available to all, they can be preserved better and the user does not need to leave their house or office to obtain access to them. The Library of the future will probably not have books and information will probably exist on a server with Librarians being responsible in ensuring information is up to date and freely available for clientele. Can you imagine though the changes that would be associated with the library of the future? Would fines exist, what will information look like, and will there be a library for users to visit etc. The questions go on and I guess in time libraries will undergo a revolution. This link on the future of a library may be of interest http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMus6tZifGY

Accommodation and Services

One of the biggest inequalities for adults are the issues of accommodation and the lack of some services. Statistics show that amongst adults with Asperger Syndrome, a somewhat high percentage are still relying on their parents to assist them with accommodation. The rental market tends to exclude adults because our dollar driven society demands or is used to a dual wage in the household. If you have sufficient money coming in, then you are able to maintain a better quality and standard of life. Often there is a strain when adults still live with their parents for as the parents get older, the means of looking after their Autistic son or daughter becomes more challenging. Where will my son or daughter be after we are no longer around, or what help is available to them become very important yet concerning questions. In Australia, more so particularly Queensland, there is a serious shortage in Housing Commission Accommodation and sadly like with other situations, Autistic Adults are often thrown into accommodation which is not conducive to their lifestyle. In Australia and the United States, the State provides a certain amount of accommodation but often this accommodation caters for a specific group in the community. It is often hard for parents of adults with Autism to know what help is available and often necessary and essential services are plain hard work or require tears and blood to obtain them if they are able to convince. There is still a large pool of ignorance within the counseling area for counselors fail to acknowledge in the State run bodies that treating and dealing with AS is a life long condition. Furthermore, the definition of disability tends to group people with Asperger Syndrome into the area of mental illness. The mental illness issues are secondary to the condition itself but some of the mental illness are not complementary to an individual with Asperger Syndrome. Often adults who live with their parents are unable to or rather so have to forgo the means of living independently. Not having enough money and not living up to the normal threshold income means that living at home or worse still sharing with other people become an option. As you can imagine for adults with AS dealing with other personalities in a household and often again these other occupants not understanding AS makes life difficult. Also the problem arises of a generation difference and the adult with AS clashing with their parents because the parents refuse to bestow independence on their Autistic off spring. Really more support is required to provide more housing and accommodation arrangements for adults. I have known of one or two adults actually living in shared mental health accommodation and being surrounded with people who have serious mental issues can be challenging. I am almost 38 myself and the rental market is just about impossible unless I live like a gypsy. I have turned to "House Sitting" as a means of living a somewhat independent life. Accommodation is a challenging issues and I know of some adults with AS in their mid 20's and 30's and a few even older still living with their parents. It really is a difficult situation at times and one cannot imagine the strain on the parents and the adult with AS. Sometimes negative energy makes life difficult for the adult with AS has to try and deal with it or block it out. It can affect sleep, day to day functioning and also self esteem. The parents may try to control the adult still or when trying to help them actually provoke a desire for independence and as I mentioned before the dollar driven society to find comfortable accommodation can be difficult. If the adult has a poor relationship with siblings too this can be a problem which often means total exclusion and again this can be another challenge. I really don't know the answer for adults but hopefully more services and accommodation may hopefully be available soon. Furthermore some adults may need help with executive functioning and day to day living such as cooking meals, organising the work schedule and their day to day meetings and social engagements. Accommodation and Services are an area which hopefully in time will improve but we can only realise the situation now and make the best of it and get help where we can. I found the main inequality of Accommodation and Services when I tried to live in the United States with another Aspie. Despite both she and I being on low incomes, the immigration process made it impossible when her accommodation arrangements could have matched my own. The whole immigration process and the this very factor alone just made it impossible as I was seen as a public charge. The whole immigration process ruled having a disability out and furthermore and you need to exist within a normal income situation and have a whole series of conditions to work in your favour at any rate. I also got to the point of almost being admitted to hospital a long with those concerned trying to do the right thing as it was just so maddening.

Adults with Asperger Syndrome

Asperger Syndrome affects adults differently but the the common problems of social isolation, anxiety, difficulty in finding acceptance, tolerance and understanding, and unemployment in most adults remains the same. I have met a lot of adults with Asperger Syndrome and some of them are within employment and others struggle in trying to find a job. I often hear from adults who are socially isolated, depressed, anxious or coming to terms with diagnosis and I can only inform them of my own situation and how to find help where they can. Sometimes it is difficult to help them fully but you can only point them in the direction of services. Sometimes adult discussions are conducted on Skype but these can be taxing as someone needs to moderate them and get things going. However, adults from the United States, the United Kingdom and Europe have joined in and it is a good way to overcome the tyranny of distance problem. Some adults choose the path of denial or are not Asperger Syndrome obsessed as I am supposed to be but others do become involved in awareness. Recently a Women's Group has been formed which I greatly welcome as individual issues can be discussed in this area. Furthermore, there is now a group for staff and students at University and hopefully in time this group will support those in need of assistance within the academic environment. The difficulty often is children are supported and adults neglected. Adults tend to survive as best they can in a world around them that they don't totally understand. I know from my own experience and difficulties that finding tolerance and understanding is not always possible. You can only do your best and live life as best you can and there are close minded people who you cannot penetrate awareness into their minds. All we can do is to steadily persevere to ensure that we get the information out there and in time barriers will be broken down. Adults too are in need of help and understanding and hopefully in time more adults will be understood better. Unemployment and suicide statistics sadly are endemic within the adult community but this can be overcome by way of support groups I feel. Adults have a lot to contribute who are on the Autistic Spectrum and more tolerance is needed more so than ignorance. We also need to adapt and modify work environments to accommodate adults with Asperger Syndrome so they to are able to have some quality of life.

Travelling overseas

I am careful not to boast too much about my travels overseas, but I have been fortunate to visit New Zealand, Norfolk, United Kingdom and North America. I am also going to be visiting Europe in May of this year. Traveling to me is a means of improving my cognitive function as well as taking in the sights and seeing all of the historic and scenic places. In 2001, I was fortunate to have traveled to the United Kingdom to have met with another adult with Asperger Syndrome who resides near Sunderland in the north of England. I was in the United Kingdom for a month and visited both Scotland and England. I felt at home in England as people were so polite and Rugby Union and beer were not so paramount on my travels. I can remember my trip to London and getting around on the tube and seeing Buckingham Palace for the first time and the long train trip from Richmond a suburb of London to Windsor. London was a big and yet an interesting city. The older parts of London were in the inner circle and as you ventured out, the suburbs began to sprawl. I can remember seeing colourful gardens and squirrels hopping about and buildings older than civilised Australia. London has an impressive underground of train tunnels and "The Tube" is the means of getting around. In 2008, my next long haul trip was to the United States. I first arrived in San Francisco and one of my first priorities was to see the "Golden Gate Bridge". I joined a tour and visited a nearby park with Eucalyptus Trees in it. I remember asking the tour guide about the "Golden Gate Bridge" and whether or not it was possible for the tour bus to drive over it. Apparently it was and despite walking to the first pylon, San Francisco side, the tour bus was to later drive over the bridge to the other side. I cannot remember the name off hand but San Francisco had a feel about it that no other city exudes. The big harbour, the wharf, the trams, the architecture. It was all there to encapsulate. I had 2 nights in San Francisco and had to get up early next morning to join the shuttle to the airport. Here my flight was to New York. I remember boarding the plane, taking my seat and seeing before my eyes the map of the United States. I was intrigued by all of the states and their capital cities, as the plane made its way from San Francisco over Colorado and the Rocky Mountains, across the Great Lakes to its final destination of New York. When you look down from the plane to New York, you see a distant city as the plane circles to make touch down at the airport. I remember it descending and coming in from Long Island on the Atlantic and comparing the beaches to those we have in Australia. How could such a large city have deserted beaches but I thought, the climate made visiting the beach a no go. New York JFK Airport was large, Yellow Taxis, men in suits and people rushing around. I was due to catch a shuttle from JFK Airport to the Hotel in New York City but the Shuttle did not depart and I asked a man who looked like a Mafia man if he could help me get to the Hotel. It was not helpful and I ended up paying $55 for a taxi to get me to the hotel. Manhattan is a busy place, cars everywhere and buildings as tall as the eye could see. I reached my Hotel but my luggage was not with me being stuck in San Francisco and apparently on its way. I had one night in New York and then the next day to Boston, then onto Canada and returning via Virginia and Pennsylvania. I wont go into detail about my trip, just that I saw the Great Lakes and Washington DC. When I visited the White House, I was surprised at its appearance. No I didn't see the President but I saw where he lived. The White House is surprisingly small and tucked in with other buildings. I visited the Congress Building which was out of bounds and walked to the Washington Monument. I visited the Jefferson, Lincoln Memorials and saw the White House from the Washington Monument. Upon my return to New York, I then flew to St Paul Minnesota. Here I met another Aspie, Carrie and I am now life long friends with both her and Chris from the UK. Where Carrie lived was colder and a different part of America climate wise and I enjoyed meeting her family as I did Chris' family. The only thing was jet lag seriously impedes on your ability to be your best. I am now fortunate to have overseas friends and I feel sorry for those who are unable to travel. When I think of a person from Brisbane not venturing outside of Queensland, I often feel what are you missing out on? Travel is good but going on your own and joining a tour is one way of taking the hassle out of organizing an itinerary yourself. The Europe trip includes, Prague, Austria, Germany, France, Italy, Switzerland, England. I am looking forward as well to visiting Paris and seeing the Eiffel Tower at first hand.

Where has all the creativity and thought gone?

I often like to recall events and watch talent from different generations and as you get older, you seem to appreciate some of the talent that existed when you were younger or prior to when you were born. You see for instance, Fred Astaire with his tap dancing, Harry Houdini with his magical ability which was more so remembered in the movie with Tony Curtis playing Harry Houdini and Janet Leigh his wife, and you wonder where creativity has gone. I for instance like song with lyrics that I can actually understand and which trigger memories and a good feeling of sensation. Nowadays everything seems to be somehow manipulated and all the imagination which used to go into movies and creativity has been replaced by computer imaging and enhancing. I am not sure I would want to see "Alice In Wonderland" as all the characters in this movie seem to be all computer generated and the original characters are perhaps replaced by computer generated ones. Before computers and I am old enough to know, there existed a focus on actual talent rather than what computers could generate, and sadly this talent no longer seems to be around. You see these movies which depict the end of the world and why do we really want to be watching movies that are so negative instead of movies and films that bring fun, imagination and creativity back into people's lives? I recently saw Invictius and I enjoyed the movie as Morgan Freeman always carries a role well and I admired the work of Nelson Mandela in re-unifying South Africa, but I wonder where creativity and talent is going? A lot of people don't seem to spend the time in wanting to enjoy the things which one made life simple and pleasurable. Everybody seems to be wrapped up in this materialistic world where everything is spat out of the tube or by other means. The media for instance trivialize things to the point that tragedy always is before our eyes. An earthquake happens in Chile and suddenly they beat it up and say that a Tsunami will hit the east coast of Australia. I mean give us a break. Lets get back to getting people thinking again and back to talent and creativity. The world has become too serious and people just seem to shirk or avoid actual creativity. Music is great and so is good theatre and movies. I often look back at the bygone era to see the talents in certain celebrities of the time and some of it is 'old hat' but some of it does resonate still. People seem afraid to listen to Dean Martin, or Frank Sinatra or to watch a clip with Fred Astaire tap dancing and to actually admit that they see or enjoy some talent in these performers. Who can you think of that comes to mind now that has a talent? Everybody seems to put everyone else down or criticise them for something they are unable to do rather than praise them for something they can do or exhibit as talent. Who are the talented and creative people nowadays? People also seem to have issues with someone else or everyone has an opinion and get defensive or argumentative if you don't agree with it. Of interest just like Ancient Rome fell is western civilisation going down a similar path? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQKqJDb7fn0

Why is space or time to yourself required?

From personal experiences, space from other people is part of a healing process from over stimulation and thinking in my brain. Day to day events, more particularly interacting and navigating the social world requires a great deal of mental energy. Over analysing, navigating the social world and executive function all require vast amounts of mental energy. For regular people, I think more of what I mentioned above is somehow automated but for myself and other Aspies this may be a different story and scenario. In my personal space I prefer to read, talk to myself about how to understand the world around me, promote awareness of AS by writing about it and try to find out more about things I do not know. Like a monk lives in quiet solitude, it is healing for me as I can re-charge my mental energy batteries to deal with the next day or event in which I am required to perform. I find writing very healing but I also like to have space from other people not because I don't like them but more so because it gives me a chance to get more thoughts and energy back into order. I am content at times to be in my own space as I really don't need the pressures of the world around me in being asked what do you do? Why are you not married? Also I can escape the materialism and confusion that the world around me seems to be currently enduring. I think from personal experience that Aspies require space as a means of over coming our mental exhaustion phases and like a healing process, our minds can be restored to normal functioning. Having space for us is perhaps like the coping mechanisms others may have in needing times to themselves. It is ironic that some people like to play Golf as a release for I find Golf one of the most frustrating games on this planet. To hit the Golf Ball and to aim for the Green is like shooting an arrow into a Bull's Eye in Archery. It is often difficult to find special interests in sports etc for often what others find easy social skills wise is for me a learning experience. As a student at the University of New England once, I wanted to try and learn Table Tennis but instead of learning it quickly and taking on average a couple of gos to get the gist of the game, I had another player constantly watch over my serving technique and rather than playing how I could, I was being helped by him in improving and then when I wanted to learn, the perception was that perhaps I could become a great Table Tennis player. Instead I just was hoping that I could quickly learn how to serve in the game and play at a normal level. I had to give it up as I found I just could not serve the Table Tennis ball more chasing it or hitting embarrassing shots. The same for Golf as well so playing sport is something I struggle with but I can bike ride but start to notice the effects if I ride with someone else in the odd chance and feel out of shape and sick afterward. I attribute this sickness to be similar to indigestion problems as anxiety affects the digestive system. Overall space is a means of connecting with my inner self and furthermore I can do meditation and have learned Tai Chi basic steps. I am currently practising on anxiety management of 4 breathes in for 4 seconds and 8 breathes out for 8 seconds but responding to routine, yes it does have to be synchronized with the seconds on a clock

Imagine

Imagine what it is like. Everyday you wake up and have to monitor and manage your performance, productivity, the world around you and the way you think. Imagine what it is like when you hear sounds, try to understand the world and people around you and nobody can really help you and you just have to try and do the best you can and try to get help. Imagine what it is like when you do or say things that offend people and you don't know why and have to use your intelligence to try and work out later the causes of your actions. Finally imagine what it is like when you do not understand emotions and realise that sometimes loneliness and social isolation cannot be avoided and your mind tries to shut down on you and you need personal space from others. Well if you can fathom and begin to try and understand, then you can begin to understand the issues and difficulties I deal with day to day. Since 1997, I have worked hard to try and overcome my difficulties and to begin to build upon my life. I have with the help of my parents but more so my own perseverance, been able to find employment and begin to build upon my life which has been challenging at times. Some people just don't understand the difficulties and some people have even said "Asperger Syndrome what the F--- is that? We live in a world I believe which needs to re-classify the word disability. Often people perceive disability to be physical with a person requiring a wheel chair but like all disabilities specific accommodations can make life more bearable for those affected. I have come to accept that Asperger Syndrome in me is not a death sentence. I have undergone several and specific struggles and defeat but giving up is not the answer. People seem to want to label you or the things you do by saying "You are obsessed with Asperger Syndrome awareness" and I think, Do you know what it is like to live with AS? Often times or mostly I feel my life is having to balance anxiety, uncertainty and performance on a day to day issue. Some days I cope and my anxiety levels are down and others, just getting through the day and planning is like trying to climb a mountain. Other days, particularly when sleep or meltdown are an issue, I tend to have to rely more on coping mechanisms just to get through. People don't see the real you when you have AS. They see your stronger side and think that you are in control and yet you know that you cannot rely on others to help you or to talk too when you feel lonely or socially isolated. People can judge you on your mistakes and faults, but fail to look at the real you and there is not much you can do but just realise a door is closed and remains closed. Perhaps forever or just maybe the door may open a bit to let the light inside. I am not really after fame or glory but more so a path to make the world a better place. So often people around you are down or struggling and you wonder where all the fun and good times have gone? I am really concerned with the proposed changes to Asperger Syndrome classification in the United States. So many adults I know have Asperger Syndrome and some are unable to be involved in awareness as they get stressed or burned out easily. They struggle to obtain the necessary support now and with changes to the classification where will they be and will they be better off or worse off? I thank the work that has gone in by Dr Tony Attwood in getting the awareness out there but wonder what will happen once his legacy is over? Who will ensure that Aspies will have a voice in the community? We are slowly emerging from the dark forest of our own struggles but will we be able to find greener pastures or will we return to the dark forest with proposed changes to Asperger Syndrome re-classification? Often I have been criticised for events that I have no control over and people seem to think that I can avoid. At the time, I don't know what mistakes I am making as I perceive what I am doing to be correct and if I venture into gray areas, I need to rely on my intelligence more to ensure that I don't strike any dangers or break any hidden conventions. Developing a collection of interests is not easy as one interest which ultimately becomes an obsession beyond my control tends to hijack everything else. Having good executive functioning can help but struggling in the social area can often be a challenge. I have thus far worked at helping adults with Asperger Syndrome to see hope away from depression, social isolation and lack of hope. More needs to be done in the employment area but tackling this problem needs a combined effort. I just wish and rather I hope that more adults are able to find support and valuable services to assist them with their lives. Despite their challenges and difficulties, more help should become available soon. I would like to see and hope for the following in adults with Asperger Syndrome and unemployment: 1. Placement onto temporary support while finding employment. 2. Support and employment for adults with Asperger Syndrome 3. Modifications of work environments to include not exclude Aspies 4. Employment Agencies for Aspies and more support with finding employment and job placement. A whole lot more needs to be done but taking things slowly is the only way to go at present.

Astronomy

Yesterday I attended a meeting of the Queensland Astronomical Society and was surprised at how many Astronomers perhaps existed on the Autistic Spectrum. When I observed the equations and the dedication of their work, I also marveled at the universe we are a part of and how enormous and beyond our understanding and comprehension. Will humans ever understand the universe around them and what if anything is beyond the limits of space if indeed there are any limits? The thing that amazes you about Astronomy is how the stars we see are no longer there but yet we still see the light coming from them. To think that Earth is so minute and there is a vastness of space, begs the question of if there are any other life forms out there, what do these life forms look like and will humans ever make contact with them? On a lighter note, when you observe photographs taken of Nebulae and other planets, you realise just how interesting space is and how when all combined, its vastness and mystery. Telescopes and deep space viewing are interesting when provided with the opportunity of seeing them first hand and the pictures taken of individual Astronomical Members. Astronomy is an interesting subject and one I would like to learn more about.

Burnout and melt downs

When I over do or push myself too much, I often find that you often get mentally drained and exhausted and you need to retreat into your own personal space. You often get tired of people prodding and probing into your personal life and asking questions, and within your own company nobody can really hassle you. I find if I push myself too much then my mind tries to shut down on me and I need to be able to recharge my mental energy so that I can function again later. I don't really think I am relationship material as I find them all too difficult and furthermore sharing space with someone else is something that I don't find easy. Sometimes you can project what you perceive other people may think of you and your lifestyle and within your own company you can read books and retreat into your own world. Sometimes it is difficult to find a balance between socialising and needing your own space, but you have to often listen to what your body and mind are telling you rather than what people expect you to be or how to perform. Yesterday was a traumatic experience for me in that I like other people hate traffic congestion but I get sick and tired of lazy road workers who insist on blocking off roads while a job needs to be performed which does not need a lane closed off in the first place. I had to spend 30mins on a 4km stretch of road yesterday and this really took all of my mental energy out of me. I find roads in Brisbane to be archaic and in urgent need of an upgrade. For the past 20 years infrastructure has not changed to accommodate a growing population and Brisbane's roads and public transport system need an urgent overhaul. The Western Freeway (Country Road) is just not coping and having few major arterial roads is frustrating commuters or driving them out of Brisbane. If people want to live in urban areas and pretend they are living in the country, they need to realise that urban areas are just that and they have to face this reality. The Western Freeway is not coping as a road and Brisbane's roads are terrible. It is no wonder that road rage is increasing and people are leaving this place while new people congest its roads. I try to avoid driving at all cost and minimise my trips so that I am not using the roads. I did like the Clem7 Tunnel though and welcome engineering of this magnitude which the city needs more of in my opinion. Often Aspies feel pushed around by people around them and our being wired differently does not always make us understood by other people. We have to implement safety phrases to cope with personal questions that people throw at us and furthermore we need time to ourselves so that we can cope with life as best we can. As an Aspie male, I find expectations can be draining at times and mental shut downs can be impossible too. I also find doorways a problem in that I hate going to a friend's house and find their doorbell does not work. I always found door ways a problem in that when I stayed in rental houses I was never given a key to get into the place and thought there was a conspiracy of people making life difficult for me by not providing me with a key when I had a key already to a man door. There are hidden codes in people which are not always easy to understand and I need to rely on my intelligence at times to work people out. It is interesting in that Aspies can mind read our struggles and difficulties better whereas other people tend to not understand or misread our struggles. Often we also project and sometimes over analyse situations which can be simply explained. Burnouts and meltdowns are perhaps higher in Aspies as we have to use our intelligence more and over think in situations which drains our minds of mental energy.

Autism awareness and vital services

Those of us affected by Autism and friends and family also have no doubt heard of the re-classification of the Autistic Spectrum to be re-classified to what I understand Mild Autism Disorder? What if any does this re-classification have on people affected by Autism and what right if any does the American Authority concerned have in changing its classification? The simple and most direct answer to this is why does it need to be changed and how much understanding of those who want to change it understand the real issues and difficulties affected by those concerned? There are many adults and people with Asperger Syndrome diagnosis that will be seriously affected by this change as vital services necessary for their day to day living with be changed or removed, and they will have to go back to square one or face ignorant bureaucracies that do not have a clue or understand. What concerns me mostly is that people will start to believe and see the Autistic Spectrum with the classification of Mild Autism as a temporary problem. The Autism is mild so the individual is barely affected oh and they will perhaps be cured in a couple of years. It really concerns me deeply these changes as I am concerned mostly on how it will impact on families and adults with Asperger Syndrome. The distinction needs to be made that separated Asperger Syndrome from Autism. Autism is more locked in your own world with the difficulty to communicate rather than Asperger Syndrome where you can communicate but people don't see why you think the way you do. By simply combining or grouping all the Autistic Spectrum into one classification by a group of Psychiatrists who are formerly Doctors, begs the question of how much understanding and personal involvement do they have in really understanding the deep routed problems, issues, struggles and concerns people on the Autistic Spectrum confront? I am still looking for the feedback website to the proposed changes and if anyone knows the link, I hope that they can provide it. More adults need to provide feedback where they can and I know I will appear to others to be Autism obsessed. It is interesting how you are given a label so quickly when you are trying to help promote awareness. It is interesting the way people describe the Autism Spectrum. People seem to want to try and make people on the Autistic Spectrum somehow cured or to find a cure but fail to understand in the meantime that a lot of adults struggle in their day to day lives. I have recently been informed that my counseling sessions will cease as I am not considered a serious risk and I will have to go back to square one to find counseling to help me understand the world around me better. People need to realise that being on the Autistic Spectrum is a life long condition and look people don't have to agree or disagree with what I am saying. What I am stating is obvious and Aspies need help and the definition of disability needs to be somewhat modified to include the Autism Spectrum within its definition. Just because a disability cannot be seen does not mean that it does not exist. Some people will understand and others wont give a stuff but what else can be done? A lot of work has been carried out by Dr Tony Attwood, Asperger Services Australia and other organisations to promote awareness and yet little funding from what I hear is actually allocated to a lot of hard work being carried out. If it wasn't for the work executed, people on the Autism Spectrum Disorder would be worse off today. We don't need a re-classification of Autism but more so more awareness so that people can understand it better.

Dealing with Moods and Emotion

Often times or mostly, I find it hard to feel emotion. Sometimes my moods can change from feeling on top of the world and then shift to coping and sometimes rock bottom. I really don't know what I can attribute it too but I think the Aspie brain has some problems with processing information and dealing with emotion. As an Aspie guy, I tend to find it hard to show emotion when and where I am expected to show it. I get tired of the socialisation process at times and the isolation and labeling of people who are different as some kind of freaks. I wonder if Aspies suffer from Alexithymia Disorder which tends to affect emotion? For Aspies I think we are in a constant wave of depression but we are able to rise above it to an anxious coping state or below it to a survival coping state. I may not speak for all adults but sometimes after you have had intensive socialisation you can feel a sense of being deflated afterward. You can question whether you are good enough and sometimes experience feelings of meltdown. One of the things I suffer from is my mind starts to wander from one topic to another. I can concentrate for specific periods and then find my mind wandering onto something else. You are never really interested in something as you are more so obsessed with it and everything else becomes a blur. Aspies are not really obsessed with materialism and modesty is just as acceptable. Things need to be simple and often we spend periods of time in our own company.

Serving in the community and trying to do the best you can.

I feel very honoured to have been appointed to Disability subcommittee of the Senate Standing Committee for Equity, Diversity and Status of Women, as the representative of staff with a disability at the University of Queensland. Although I don't want to sound like I am blowing my own trumpet, I do hope to pave the way for more understanding and acceptance of staff and students with a disability at the University. My own concern is executing the position to the best of my ability and representing those concerned fully. I have been involved in a lot of awareness of Asperger Syndrome and despite the amount of work undertaken, you wonder if you have done enough or could do more? So far support from others has helped with the establishment of several support groups on Facebook and the foundation stone laid for the UQ Asperger Syndrome Adult Group. Also I have my study commitments and awareness to deal with also. I think Dr Tony Attwood deserves praise for his work over the years in promoting awareness of Asperger Syndrome and I also would like to thank those who have given me a chance to demonstrate my potential where and how I can at the University and others in general. Often situations and events can be a struggle at times and I hope to pave the way for other adults with Asperger Syndrome to see hope and no longer be trapped in the wilderness. Some of the adults who are unemployed, I would like to provide hope and for others a means of showing that providence does exist if you work hard for it and never give up. I hope over the coming months to serve within my new appointment and furthermore to do as much as I can to promote awareness and provide support.

To tell or not to tell that is the question?

When the above question is approached you tend to remember the line from Hamlet "To be or not to be, that is the question". A similar question applies to whether or not you should disclose to others a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. When dealing with this very subject, the simple answer is that you have to go by your gut feeling at the time. It is often in some situations to actually mention an Asperger Syndrome diagnosis depending on what company you are in. Some people are really hard to enlighten and to inform when broaching Asperger Syndrome. Often they do not understand exactly what it is and furthermore you tend to feel at times like you are talking to a brick wall. I have found that when in certain levels of company you have to rely on your intelligence. When you are in jovial company often informing others that you have Asperger Syndrome is obviously not the right place. Their minds are not engaged and furthermore do you really need to say something about it? Often if you have friends around you that know you well you often don't need to explain your difficulties or justify your actions to them. So often you can just rely on instinct given the situation. Within employment, personally I believe from my own experience that Asperger Syndrome should be mentioned to the work environment. If you are able to find understanding and supportive Managers. This in itself can go a long way to help make adjustments and promote understanding within the work environment. In my current employ, the workplace is aware that I have Asperger Syndrome and I have support luckily from key areas of management that are supportive. You have to remember that the work environment is a bit like the school environment. In school you often need supportive teachers and an over seeing Head Master whereas in the workplace, you need a supportive manager and overall boss. Support is crucial to prevent bullying, harassment and the issues of lack of direction and workplace performance. Just like the school environment, the workplace is no exception. What also needs understanding and emphasis is that by no fault of their own the person with Asperger Syndrome may have difficulty communicating and interacting with other employees. Having someone there who is in charge or able to be cohesive is important. The ways of promoting awareness are being worked on more and more as greater awareness is being promoted but sadly some members of the community just don't want to know. Therefore it is best to do all you can and not deny the fact you have Asperger Syndrome.

Medicating Asperger Syndrome

I am not in a position to suggest medications but I can describe my experience with Doctors and Psychiatrists. As there is still a great misunderstanding of Asperger Syndrome within the medical field and how to deal with its symptoms, unfortunately there are difficulties on what remedies or medications are able to assist. Often I feel that Doctors and Psychiatrists have a tendency to assess medical issues on the grounds of main stream medicine. For a person with Asperger Syndrome who displays depressive type traits and anxiety, often medications can be prescribed that are not AS friendly. For instance one that I was once prescribed was Xanax. I found Xanax to have a rather nasty withdrawal symptom of you feeling removed and detached from your body. Also sleeping tablets can have a nasty side affect as they can drastically slow down and impair your responses to certain situations. I remember taking a sleeping tablet on one occasion and I found myself having the difficulty to drive. Sometimes Doctors will prescribe Valium as a means of controlling anxiety but if taken for too long, Valium can be addictive. When taking Valium occasionally for sleep issues, it can have a calming effect but for longer term anxiety and sleep deprivation, then consulting a Doctor who prescribed "Aspie Friendly" medications is important. I have found Cipramil to be somewhat friendly but have heard that Zoloft and some other Anti Depressants can have negative side effects. Some people I have spoken to on the Autistic Spectrum have complained of feeling like a zombie or having senses slowed down to the point of their day to day functioning being drastically impaired. In my own opinion approaching a Doctor or Psychiatrist should be researched prior to the consultation. If they are unaware of Asperger Syndrome or don't believe that it does not exist, then don't have a consultation with them. It just is not worth it. It is a good idea to contact organisations like Asperger Services Australia for example and find out a list of Asperger Syndrome friendly Practitioners within your area or close to you. Sadly I think some of the older school Doctors tend to have a tendency to not explain medication usage and the side effects of some medications. A good rule of thumb is to know what works best for you and to refer to your Doctor if you are having side effects if any from medications. If you are taking other medications, consult your Doctor also to ensure that the cocktail of different drugs within your system does not cause any side effects. Often I think Doctors are trained intensively in the areas of Anatomy and Biology for instance but perhaps too little in actual cognitive function. Really if anything the Psychiatrist should be sufficiently trained within this area and I do believe that all Psychiatrists should have an understanding of cognitive function. Sadly some Psychiatrists see AS as more of a mental illness and prescribe medications that treat other conditions and not so much the symptoms of AS. I don't see Asperger Syndrome as a mental illness but more so a cognitive functioning difference. Finding medications for Asperger Syndrome is not easy but medications for the AS related symptoms is by far important. Try to talk to others who are on medications who have Asperger Syndrome if you believe medication is what is best for the given situation and then discuss medications with the Doctor or Psychiatrist you have a consultation with.

The sound of music

When you are asked what music do you like, I tend to answer the question with I don't have a particular preference. I like songs that I can listen to and words I can understand. As a child of the 1970's, the era brings back special memories for me. I was born in 1972 and not knowing much about my birth year as I was only just born, I think it is one that you tend to take an interest in significance wise. Music is great and one of the things that truly cleanses the soul. I am not really into modern music that much for it seems all computer generated and missing the special licence of precision, skill and ability. Some songs of this period are perhaps not bad but the 80's decade is one that I have a good recollection of as this is my growing up years. I can recall songs that featured in this period and furthermore events that shaped the world. I have a liking of older music as well and classical musical stands out as good too but listening to Brisbane's 4BH is not my cup of tea. Classical Music tends to help me with my looping mind and thoughts at times and can actually have an affect on calming anxiety. When you hear Mozart you can hear and feel his Aspie traits in the sounds and rhythms that resonate. Some songs bring back memories and others cause you annoyance like "Lady In Red" which in my opinion is one of the most annoying songs a long with "Bad to the Bone". I don't have favourite songs but I do appreciate Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong, Michael Buble so long as he is not compared to Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra had a few good hits and artists in my opinion should not be compared to one another. Frank Sinatra is Frank Sinatra and he is not Michael Buble. I like John Denver but not all of his songs and some of the old songs had simple words too. I think mass produced music holds no real ambiance and release in my mind, so I don't really listen to it. I do like the 80's and some 70's but some of the 60's stuff well that belongs back then and should not be let out of the juke box. The flight of the Bumble Bee is actually a good stress release when you hear it as it is like a tangle and all of the sounds tend to release all the looping and nagging thoughts in your head.

What is Theory of Mind and having an Aspie Mind

I have often wondered what exactly "Theory of Mind" means and how it applies to a person on the Autistic Spectrum. Theory of Mind without becoming too clinical is defined by me to represent the thinking process of a person who is regular as opposed to someone who is on the Autistic Spectrum. To provide you with an understanding of what I mean exactly, you could confront a person and have your own thought processes which you may perceive as existing in a normal dimension as opposed to someone who may see and interpret the thought you think you are having by their own means of thought patterns. Within the adult group for adults with Asperger Syndrome we discussed the view that some people are unable to fathom or perhaps be intellectually curious whereas others who are more excepting of a person with Asperger Syndrome or more so understanding to a point. To give you a brief example of how I see and interpret "Theory of Mind", just imagine you enter a social event. This in this example is a social gathering of people for a bbq and you don't know the people except for the person who invited you. Despite hearing the loud sounds and being exposed to the sound and light stimuli around you, you are unaware of what exactly people are thinking and interpreting. You muster all the mental energy you have and rely on your intelligence to navigate the social queues before you. You see people's mouth moving and sounds coming from them and you can hear what they are saying but you struggle to block out the sound and sensory issues around you. On doing this what is going on exactly as you try to follow the conversation and then become confused by some of the things the person says. They want to talk about sport or some subject which you know very little about but yet it is the national past time. Wasn't the cricket great today and what did you think of the latest test match? When you try to follow the conversation and you don't really follow sport too well, you rely on what little information you know to get through or to make conversation. You notice the changes in the person's voice and your eyes perceive that a slight monotone suggests boredom in what you are talking about. You then notice the conversation shifts away to the person trying to suss you out. Rather than being upfront and asking straight forward questions, the person you are talking to or the group of people you are talking to tend to try and figure you out and you have to rely on the "chit chat" component in your brain which is really or virtually impossible to kick in to assist you at the time. Communication is happening but it seems that you are becoming more confused rather than being a participant in the conversation and added to this you are becoming mentally drained. You can rely on your special interests but nobody wants to hear about what exactly Asperger Syndrome is or when Decimal Currency was introduced into Australia and why the 50c coin became round from being hexagonal. Also a person can make remarks which you can take literally and not know how to respond too. I find people have different types of humour and some of this humour I just fail to understand and what intentions if any they are seeking. Around other Aspies and close friends with the few I actually think I have, you tend to feel a sense of understanding whereas other people are just difficult to work out. What exactly does a person mean by "I will talk to you later", "how are you going" when these two comments as a brief example seem more automated than actually genuine. I find "Theory of Mind" to be more of a problem when you are trying to make friends with both sexes. Usually for a man you are seen as odd for what exactly are you wanting when you try to talk to someone and for a woman it is even more confusing for do they think you are trying to ask them out? It seems like you have to have a safety phrase or stand by question so that the person has a better understanding of where you are coming from. Also people seem to be self conscious and worried or more so concerned about what other people think of them. As an Aspie, I have come to realise I am different and slightly eccentric and despite my struggles and hardship, I am who I am. I also think that peers tend to want to label you if you are not married. If you are not married then what box can they put you into and how many boxes are there exactly for you to be placed into? People are so socialised that when trying to understand someone who is differently wired, they tend to rely on avoidance as a means of dealing with the situation. Perhaps this is why so many Aspies become eccentric and tend to spend great lengths of time in their own company??? It is also interesting than when you see other Aspies, I can see their difficulties in posture, speech and their minds over thinking. Why does the world want to cure itself of Asperger Syndrome when so many Aspies make the world an interesting place? You can usually spot Aspies in Train Spotting Clubs, Collecting Clubs, Computer Clubs, Astronomy Clubs and the list goes on and on. Just look at places where people can be eccentric and you will find Aspies even in Universities or even the Art Community. Theory of Mind to me is just a means of not understanding the other person's thought process and them not understanding yours. Theory of Mind is interesting though and one people need to understand more.

The Aspie community

Last night I attended a local meeting of Asperger Services Australia at Sherwood a western suburb of Brisbane. At this meeting were two other adults and a lady by the name of Vivian from Kids Matters www.kidsmatters.com.au Vivian spoke about the help undertaken to try and assist children on the Autistic Spectrum Disorder and ways to overcome the symptoms. A handout was given which I will try and upload later on the Integration of Models of Practice. This focused on several key areas of difficulty for people with Autism. At the meeting several parents of children on the Autistic Spectrum expressed their concerns relating to lack of community and lack of awareness. I found the meeting interesting and it is good to know that more support is happening out there. At the meeting I tried to mention the difficulty that adults with Asperger Syndrome confront. The difficulties of unemployment, the inability to adjust to the socialisation process and the problems with anxiety and depression. There seems to be more of a focus on children and adults still seem to exist in a void which hopefully over time will begin to break down. Also mentioned was diet and foods which cause intestinal irritation and the concern of gluten intolerance. For people and families affected by the Autistic Spectrum the world can be an isolation and lonely battle. There are just some people who don't understand and trying to enlighten or mention the issues you have is a complete waste of energy. They just don't get it. The Aspie Community does not want to take over nor does it want to prevail but quite simply a lot of families and adults plead for tolerance, acceptance and understanding. Support groups are but one means of assisting with this but breaking down the barriers also needs to occur. In Australia, especially Brisbane we can be thankful to Asperger Services Australia for providing us with workshops, support and a means of working together to break down the barriers. It is important that unification occurs within this organisation. Some workshops are coming up soon with Asperger Services Australia and by going to their website more information can be obtained. http://www.asperger.asn.au/Home.aspx

Dealing with phobias and overcoming anxiety

When I was younger, I was a virtual recluse up until I turned 21 years of age. I would stay inside a lot and had no real desire to make friends. My retreat was my special interests such as Orchids, History, Windows, and a few other special interests but the outside world seemed to interest me in the very least. I like many Aspies lived in my head. I could exist in my secluded environment but see my own world where I didn't need to be around other people and more and more the barriers rose to the outside world. When I was in school, I used to have periods of trance like behaviour. Certain sounds and surrounds would somehow affect my hearing and in order to deal with the noise over stimulation, my mind would cope by going into some kind of trance. I never really knew what was happening to me and suddenly everything around me and myself seemed to enter this different state of consciousness. At school, I was around the other kids and when entering this trance like state, I felt detached and removed from my environment and surrounds. At school my only retreat was to go to the sick bay or try and go home sick but feeling a sense of confusion as I was not sick in the normal and literal sense. The Library was another retreat as I could browse the encyclopedias and look up new facts. The Guinness Book of Records was a book of some interest as different facts were out there and I could learn about the biggest pumpkin ever grown or the world's tallest man. I could also read factual information and when board mull over it in my head. I knew in the library that I could also escape the bullying other children with perhaps Bogan or no intellectual curious children about. I was not vomiting nor showing physical characteristics associated with normal sickness and the need to take absence from class. When I was in the second last year of high school my parents took me to see a Psychiatrist but my intelligence questioned why the Psychiatrist was talking to me in such a slow voice. What was I doing here and and a whole array of questions meant that the session did not work.

When I was younger, I experience a few phobias. Some of these were discomfort in being enclosed in small spaces or spaces around people with no windows, a fear of fainting and losing control, and a fear of water. To overcome such phobias my only means was to rely on my intelligence to overcome them. I often pushed myself through phobias to the point of the physiological affects trying to get their hold on me but I knew I had to win and not the phobia. I hated being in group discussions and being in groups of people really had profound affects on my well being and state at the time. I was afraid in large groups to leave the room to go to the toilet as I felt someone would question me on my motives for leaving the room. I think a lot of people like sheep are afraid of standing out and how many times do you see a person exit and re-enter the room to go to the toilet anyhow? At a University Tutorial, I was so anxious with being in a Tutorial that I left the 1 and a half hour Tutorial to walk around the main building at the University of New England, Booloomimbah and I knew that what I was doing was unusual but being so anxious I was gripped more by the anxiety and how it affected me more so than my actual motive. I don't know why people with Asperger Syndrome need space but it seems to be a means of controlling anxiety and dealing with the world at large around you. Phobias and Anxiety seem to occur with little socialisation and a great deal of exclusion from the community around you. Even my peers today seem to struggle with understanding Asperger Syndrome and some older people tend to judge you more as you don't seem to fit into the conventional label or socialisation outcome.

Across the Autistic Spectrum a lot of adults have issues with anxiety. Some cannot cope with it and turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of coping when in fact simple techniques can help them like they did for me. Adults also may not be able to hold down a job because the anxiety is so distressing and the poor executive functioning makes holding down a job immensely difficult. For me the fear of anxiety in the past in itself was a phobia and I tried all measures to avoid it. I would stay in my own company because I was afraid of the affects of anxiety. Anxiety was controlling me and me not it and something I knew had to change. I worked on strategies to overcome it and while in one state government department, I was allowed to visit a Psychologist in work time to work on strategies. My main fear was being on time and not late for work, so often another anxiety crept in while the original anxiety needed to be controlled.

My main concern is for fellow adults with Asperger Syndrome as not having a job brings them into the next level of anxiety. Self esteem drops and furthermore a sense of well being and purpose comes into question. It frustrates me that I cannot do more for unemployed adults but I know I can only do what is possible to get more understanding and support out there. Often some adults seem to care little for the work I actually do on behalf of awareness of Asperger Syndrome in adults but I know they are affected differently than what I am. See the Asperger Syndrome affects them in a way they cannot control unless they manage to break through the barriers and affects of Asperger Syndrome. Some adults struggle at overcoming the symptoms while others work hard at overcoming and re-inventing themselves from their past difficulties and mistakes.

Phobias and anxiety can be overcome but the person needs to work on them and as Franklin Roosevelt US President once said "There's nothing to fear but fear itself", those of us affected by phobias need to not fear and overcome. More and more work will reduce anxiety and phobias to a greater extent and patience is required.

Getting the awareness out there

When I was diagnosed by Dr Tony Attwood with Asperger Syndrome in 1997, I thought to myself, now what and is there anyone else that suffers from this condition? At the time, little was known about Asperger Syndrome and the effects of Autism were to be illustrated in the movie, "Rain Man" starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise in 1988. To have Asperger Syndrome or to mention it aroused much ignorance and little understanding. I was asked if I couldn't eat Asparagus as a joke, having Asparagus Syndrome right through to questions of what disease I had. People just didn't know what Asperger Syndrome was and more so how it actually affected you. At the time, I had to come to terms with my diagnosis and more importantly to me, I needed to know if anyone else had AS too. At the time, I was a member of Asperger Syndrome Support Network which is now Asperger Services Australia. A list of names accompanied the news and other information which was sent to me. On this list there were names of other adults affected by Asperger Syndrome and I started to make contact with other families to find out if an adult group existed in Brisbane or indeed Australia. At the time one did not exist and after making contact with several people, I came across a Sri Lankan family whose son had Asperger Syndrome. She was willing to have the meeting at her house and for other adults to attend. The first meeting was a chance to meet other adults with Asperger Syndrome and about 5 adults attended. They were all affected as one adult could not handle being around people and was withdrawn to another who had not interaction previously and spoke only a few words. The remaining adults were also disabled socially. From this meeting, I started to get the message out there about support for adults with the help of the Asperger Network Queensland. Before too long I was arranging meeting, and trying to co-ordinate activities which were set for one meeting per month. I spoke at schools, colleges, universities and meetings about my experiences of having Asperger Syndrome and the existence of the adult group. My account of Asperger Syndrome was also published in a couple of books and quoted in some articles. Membership started to grow and up until the time I left in approximately 2002, 40 + members existed. As I couldn't handle personal problems and for some of the adults seeing me as a counselor, I had to step aside as I could no longer handle the pressures.

Often I have adults ask me if they should or should not obtain a diagnosis? I am not really able to answer this question as I am unable to diagnose them but I do suggest to them that from my own experience, diagnosis does help in understanding yourself better and to overcome some difficult obstacles. Asperger Syndrome affects adults differently and there is not one generic description and I think the diagnostic criteria is not always accurate. I know many adults with Asperger Syndrome and their abilities and talents would truly amaze the world at large. The difficulty of finding employment is something that really needs to be addressed. More and more employers and especially employment agencies need in my opinion an understanding of what Asperger Syndrome is and how a person affected by it can be a valuable work and team member. There are some people who are not intellectually curious and trying to educate and promote awareness of Asperger Syndrome meets with a brick wall but in general people are open minded so long as the proper information is conveyed to them. It is difficult when one person asks you at random what is Asperger Syndrome for it seems like you have to start from scratch to inform them about it. Some ideas have been for adults with AS to carry a card or have some means of explaining AS on them so that if they encounter difficulty the card can be produced and the situation explained. This is not the easiest approach for what if the person doesn't have the time to read the card or has a closed mind? It seems to me that the only real solution is to promote and provide awareness. Finally adults with Asperger Syndrome are starting to get more attention and understanding. The movie "Adam" did a lot to remove the Autism "Rain Man" stigma to replace it with the struggles of an Aspie. What is needed is for more people to see this movie, understand some more and the world will become a more understanding and accepting place it is hoped. Dr Tony Attwood also needs praise with the work he does in promoting Asperger Syndrome awareness and the Americans have to stop trying to change the name of it or if they do, to find a name which does not preclude some people on the Autistic Spectrum from losing vital and important services. Adults need to no longer exist in social isolation but more so have their strengths and abilities become more evident in the world around them. Getting the message out there is important and hopefully more and more adults will come forward in time to accept the AS as part of them to be accepted by others rather than to be excluded and misunderstood. April is Autism month and hopefully more and more people will participate in it to help all that are affected by Autism.

There is now with the help of others a group for adults with Asperger Syndrome at the University of Queensland which meets once a week. I have also managed to successfully after much perseverance to obtain a job in a University Library where I currently shelve books. I am not giving up though in what opportunities exist out there despite the battles and struggles which befall me a long the way. If I am an adult who can obtain employment, then surely other adults can. I believe that Libraries are a good environment for adults with Asperger Syndrome as such work environments can be modified to adapt to the needs and abilities of a person with Asperger Syndrome.