Bad parenting versus society's attitude

Some years back I met with the mother of an adult on the Autism Spectrum. Like so many parents of Autistic off spring, she informed me that a psychiatrist had accused her of being a bad parent. Her son lived at home, had no friends and was in a dead end job. Once more he was heavily medicated. I have since learned that he died unexpectantly which indeed very sad. Should parents of Autistic adults just accept comments like this from those in the medical fraternity in relation to raising for and being concerned for their off spring? What people need to understand is that parents of Autistic offspring are concerned about their well being and how the world is going to treat or behave to Autistic people who think outside the square and often badly misunderstood and treated poorly by those who just don't get it. In my opinion the motive behind changes to the DSMV are driven by motives. One of these being that not allowing Autistic people to be who they are and not get their own way will mean that better acceptance will no longer see the need for medication. Quite recently after meeting a close to understanding doctor at a university, I was more or less informed that I needed to find a local GP. In one instance meeting a local GP meant that I was prescribed Xanax. I am glad that I got off this medication, not only because I was not told how to use it properly but more so the negative effects it left me with. I felt so detached from my body that I feared public spaces, more importantly the need to drive a car and go to work etc. I also experienced sudden panic attacks and very high levels of anxiety. I just cannot fathom at times why poorly trained doctors are quick to medicate more so than provide therapy? I don't think most parents should be blamed for the upbringing of their Autistic offspring but more so the attitude often negative behaviours of people totally unaware of the Autism Spectrum. Imagine if you are a parent of an Autistic person wouldn't you fear for the future of this person? Wouldn't you fear or being concerned about bullying and predators? It annoys me that most psychiatrists just have not any clue to being able to provide therapy more so than relying on medication as a quick fix? Are Autistic people just being medicated as a means of control and what right do those in power have to no longer use the definition or diagnostic criteria of Asperger's Syndrome? I can't speak for the parents of the deceased adult who was on the Autism Spectrum but I do believe that society's attitude and understanding of the Autism Spectrum needs to change. Parents of Autistic off spring should not always take the blame as being bad parents, especially when it comes to the death of an adult who may have been on medication and may have died due to poor medical training and understanding. Why are doctors and medical practioners not trained enough? Perhaps find an answer to this question before parents are blamed!?

RIP to an Aspie

I don't want to sound maudlin but today I learned of the death of a person I met some years ago who was on the Autism Spectrum.  This person was put in touch with me by a family friend as he was experiencing loniliness and social isolation at the time.  Although I only met him a few times to try and help him to come out of some of the challenges and difficulties he was experiencing, sadly communication with this person ended after a few attempts.  He did come over one time which was a big challenge for him but he suffered constantly from anxiety and some other personal issues.  I met this person's parents on a few ocassions who informed me that the only friend he had was a cousin.  His cousin was his only source of interaction and friendship.  Please note I knew the person in and around 2005 well and truly before he passed away.

The person lived with his parents.  The usual situation.  Social isolation and finding social interaction extremely difficult.  He also held down a job but I think he was on and off work.  He had varying degrees of energy levels.  The last time I saw the person alive was at his parent's place.  I tried a few times to contact the person to try and help them further but sadly I spoke to either his mother or sister.  I knew I could only do my best.  Today at church I learned that the person who I don't want to name for privacy reasons had passed away.  I just wanted to find out when by a matter of interest and I found out that he died in November 2010 unexpecently.  I am not insensitive to want to contact the parents as they may still be grieving but I feel saddened in some ways that I didn't do enough.  However, I know that I am not always able to change the world and I can only  help people to a varying degree.  I have known of a couple of people with disabilities who have died in parental care.  I am finding the church a source of some comfort but when some people do not always understand or treat you in not a very nice way,  you sometimes wonder how much you yourself can take it? 

37 is a very young age to die.  This is why life needs to be lived as best as possible.  Also it is important that people try to understand Autism and other disabilities better because there is nothing truly worse than social isolation and depression.  The feeling and sometimes thinking that nobody really cares when you wake up in the morning or when you put your head down to go to sleep at night.  I just cannot understand why more is not being done about disabilities and support for persons that need help?  Life is important.  All I can do is say RIP to the person I knew and at least I may have tried to help when I came into your life to offer you the hand of friendship.  I just don't understand why NT people have to be so one sided or wanting friendship on their terms?  I am not depressed nor feeling bad about myself but I just wish people would jettison this selfish and me focused world we live in.  It is getting nobody anywhere and it seriously need to be revisted with a different outlook. 

Opening up community and preventing social isolation

There are many problems in the world today and all that you see, hear or watch on television is either boring or has no purpose.  What then can be done?  I was thinking that perhaps churches, and other organisations should encourage people to come out and have fun again.  Why not open church halls up on weekends to board game nights such as chess, scrabble and interactive games?  Why not have costume parties or medieval nights and encourage people to use imagination?  I was thinking that in Brisbane why not have on a Saturday or Saturday night a regular activity to encourage people to get out, think and to get away from negativity?  For instance at St Johns Cathedral in Brisbane a talk could be on stained glass or of some notable person or even genealogy?  I think people are too serious now and people are afraid to go out. 

In Brisbane for instance people want only to do things during the week and for some including myself week nights are no fun.  I don't want to be out late and I find that going out late only causes me over stimulation and I have difficulties sleeping afterwards.  Why are weekends so boring and people don't do anything as a community?  For children they need to get away from computers and need to get out to use their brains and to think. So to their parents and other children.  The problem is that people are becoming zombified because they are not encouraged to think and choose to lock themselves inside their houses and behind high fences away from others.  So why not try and change this?  Why not get out on weekends and have things on weekends more so than just see them as 2 days off and then back to work?  Why is a workplace miserable for people?  Why can't workplaces be better managed and staff more friendly toward each other?  Why can't staff be better looked after so that they enjoy coming to work more so than just chasing small pieces of coloured paper? 

I have some friends in ministery and I am proud to know them.  I don't believe in pushing christianity down people's throats but churches have to engage in bringing the community together.  Why not have more community and assistance for persons with disabilities, elderly or who may be lonely?  All it takes is for churches to open up their church halls and to organise some social events despite how difficult this may be to get people to attend.  It's all about having fun.  It's all about bringing community back and making the world a better place. Goodness is about making people happy and encouraging people to care and look after each other.  It also means for allowing acceptance of those who may be different and may think outside the box.  I think churches need to open their doors more other than just offering services.  They need to host events that engage the community.  Encourage people to participate.  For instance for a board game not, encourage people to bring a long their favourite board game, or to provide some food and coffee for all to share?  The world is only negative if people don't choose to try.  Ask your church minister or perhaps the minister for the church to have a board game night, a trivia night, a 1950's night, a costume party or a movie night on a weekend and make these regular.  People need to be happy.  I hear so many stories of people saying they're are happy when in fact they are lonely.  I know one friend whose son who has bipolar is having a hard struggle with a broken marriage.  Why do so many people need to be alone?  The ball needs to start rolling and I would encourage as a mere citizen that community needs to be brought back so that people feel good about themselves again instead of being locked away and hostile.