Medicating Aspies

In both children and adults, the common answer to dealing with anxiety and behavioural issues is to medicate the individuals concerned. Whenever a Psychiatrist is consulted, instead of talking about the problems, finding solutions and working on strategies, the Psychiatrist is quick to prescribe medication than deal with the problem at hand. As a society we tend in my opinion to lock people out or shut ourselves away from us when really they just need help and in some instances, human interaction. Not all strategies for depression are going to work but surely some natural remedies or exercises can be referred to than simply putting a person on pills? I have been on medication (Anti Depressants) myself and I called them NT drugs because they were implemented in my opinion to control some of my behaviours which were deemed socially inappropriate to others. For instance, I found it difficult to keep on track with conversations and I experienced heightened anxiety. I fully support Professor Patrick McGorry's comments about Mental Health. Professor McGorry is not stating that Mental Illness in my opinion is for the severest of conditions but more so those who like myself and other Aspies who experience anxiety and windups etc Mental Illness I believe comes from society shutting itself away from responsibility and taking the time to listen to others. I have also heard from parents of Autistic Children who have received comments that their child is naughty and should be medicated etc. Why? Surely people need to realise that medication is not always the answer and taking time to listen and understand is far more important.

Dealing with Psychiatrists

This afternoon I needed to make an appointment with a Psychiatrist regarding the renewal of my Mental Health Care Plan. Despite the appointment being for 4pm and him seeing me at 4.35pm, I discussed with him my reasons for seeing him. This reasons being the need for the above mentioned Mental Health Care Plan to get the Medicare Rebate upon consultations with the counselor at Minds and Hearts. In Australia we have a system that for a patient to see a Psychiatrist, they firstly need a referral from a Doctor in order to see the Psychiatrist, and my apparent referral was due to expire in a couple of months. While I was at the appointment I found the Psychiatrist to be very uncomfortable for he asked me firstly if I was on medication, what I am doing in my spare time, if I drive a car and do I benefit from the appointments at Minds and Hearts? On top of this, he asked me if I owned a gun, or a knife and whether I wanted to kill or harm myself? I thought to myself why is this man asking me all these questions when all I need is a referral? He kept on insisting almost that I need to go onto anti depressants or that I should entertain the idea of taking them. I felt very uncomfortable because he used in my opinion whatever approach he could to make me uncomfortable and he kept saying why do I not work full time? I told him why because of anxiety and performance and then he said what would be the worst case scenario using a CBT example that you would experience and how would you deal with this? I really had to rely on my intelligence to say "All I am here for is a referral" and he just tried to make me feel somewhat uncomfortable. I don't think I will return to this Psychiatrist because in all honesty I think the medical profession need to come to terms with and accept Autism as a reality. It is not some facade it is reality and people are seriously affected by it. I think some medical people need counseling themselves as sometimes they can often make poor judgment and decisions. I felt like I was more or less at this appointment being cross examined and I informed the Psychiatrist that I am on the Disability Sub Committee at University and I do a lot of advocacy of Asperger Syndrome in my spare time. I have adults with AS that are unable to get work, they have low self esteem, they are unable to enter relationships, and their quality of life is lower than others around them. I find the referral system annoying as why can't consultations with clinical psychologists be claimed on medicare. Why do we have to go through Doctors and Psychiatrists who do not understand Asperger Syndrome/Autism, tell parents they are responsible for their child's behaviour and often refuse to believe Asperger Syndrome exists as a medical condition? Why does the government turn a blind eye to Autism and why can't Autism be included within disability discrimination? I really find having AS as difficult because nobody sees how hard you struggle and cope with the difficulties and challenges in life. I really wish more people would try and understand and not judge so quickly, or keep saying that I want crutches or it is amazing that you get out. Why do I have to conform to your world when you don't try to understand mine, adults and children with Asperger Syndrome? Why does our world have to be silent and our struggles stand alone with so much misunderstanding and wrongful assumptions? Why do people have to say things that may hurt us and put pressure on us to conform? We don't do you any harm and why when be ourselves do you have to judge or write us off as weird or eccentric? We are good people and you just need to try and understand us more as Asperger Syndrome affects us in a cognitive sense.

Being intellectually curious

One of my interests is geography and I often like to look at different countries of the world and like to know more about their terrain, culture and customs. What interests me most is how inhabitants of countries made most of their resources and how such cultures developed. When you look at the globe you realise how remote and isolated Australia is and you begin to look at the Australian culture and identity and see how it differs to the rest of the world. Australians don't realise just how lucky they as they have never had their arses kicked nor do they share their country or have borders with other countries to strengthen an identity. I think remoteness and isolation tend to make inhabitants somewhat sheltered and perhaps closed minded in their thinking. An exposure to other countries and customs tends to perhaps strengthen an identity but with Australia and New Zealand being in the antipodes perhaps induces a different way of thinking and behaving. Australians have rivalry over a Rugby League game but in Europe rivalry came in the form of Nationalism, Imperialism and the forging of identity. Take for instance Germany which emerged from Prussian States and also look at France as both countries fought over and wanted European dominance at one time. The towns of Alsace and Lorraine were annexed and lost between both Germany and France and the continent of Europe is a shared land mass with smaller countries detesting the former empires they were under. Indeed the causes of the Great War in Europe was primarily due to Imperialism and some other factors with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand an Austrian Archduke to plunge Europe into a global conflict. Australia has had it lucky with the closest and only threat coming from Japan in 1942 when Darwin was bombed. There was the odd submarine or two also sighted off Sydney Harbour but Australians have always endured a period of complacency within their lifestyle. Perhaps this is why some Australians have an insular way of thinking. If you compare both Australia and New Zealand. Australia came from convict stock mostly that were deported from the London of late C18th. New Zealand it seems had more free settlers and it is interesting to note that the early settlers of Australia carried with them the petty crimes, ways of thinking and customs of London in the late C18th. It seems that early slang came from the slums of London where the lower classes spoke very crude English. Perhaps this very use of expression came with the convicts to Australia to become endemic in the language today. One of the well known attributes of Australia is the tall poppy syndrome and where did this come from? Perhaps the poor classes knocking the nobility in London and evolving in Australia over time. You need to remember that the early convicts were rough people who were at the lower end of the class system. They were deported to Australia and how exactly did they affect or influence early Australian history? I don't think Australia is very accommodating of eccentricity or diversity with people who are different or eccentric either being mocked, criticised or alienated. Does the insular existence create such and effect? Having been fortunate to have traveled somewhat you see differences in culture and within Europe you see diversity in cultures. I think there is more room and provision for eccentricity and diversity in other countries but sadly Australia still remains closed minded. Traveling to Australia is like traveling to another country as it is very remote. Just by being different and thinking differently it seems hard or almost impossible to be accepted by some sectors of the global and Australian community. Some people have closed minds and you don't have to be a university academic to notice this. There are eccentrics in Australia but people tend to distance themselves from them and furthermore being eccentric as Dr Tony Attwood describes is some kind of psychiatric imbalance. If you collect hats, toilet brushes, or other objects people think you are mad or need to be put away somewhere when such interests do have an interesting background. I think it is important and healthy to maintain an open mind but I have known of some people in Australia being criticised for being different or eccentric. I know of one Aspie who wears different sports coats, another who rides a different style of pushbike and some others who have their eccentricity. I know from my own experiences that once driving to Labrador on the Gold Coast that I received some comments from some hoons "Nice Car, You f'ing poofter". Why do people have to criticise or want others to conform? I think Bogans need brain transplanets an injection of a brain that promotes open mindness and thinking. Not everyone is a Rugby League Supporter either and not all people want to go out and buy a Rigger Shirt with either blue or maroon on it. I think the media also have a way of brain washing people and you always notice that as soon as the Football (Soccer) has finished and Australia looses its chances in the world cup the media lose interest. What is it with Australia and why are some people so closed minded? I think multi culturalism is at least one way of changing the close minded way of thinking people exhibit in this country. Also with Brisbane having a hot climate in summer, why do people not wear hats. If you wear a hat you draw criticism and comments also. Where is eccentricity as it is important and essential to foster change. Oh and also who was it that had the brainwave to bring in the maroon number plates and build ANZ stadium?

An appreciation of history

I can remember back to when I repeated my Senior Certificate in 1993 to when I studied both Modern and Ancient History. The history was taught verbatim and I can remember Modern History touching upon the time of Napoleon and the years prior to the French Revolution. At the time grasping Modern History was a difficult task as you were briefly told about Jacobean, the Nouve Rich, and the Bourgeois peoples but making sense of it at the time was not easy. You learned about an almost Pint Size Corsican who came into prominence to lead France as its first Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte but at the time you thought why was Napoleon so famous and what got him there? When you visit overseas you see countries that have existed much longer than the United States and Australia and you begin to realise and marvel at their history. When you visit England and see London, you see a city that famous people such as Isaac Newton, Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, Christopher Wren, Charles Dickens and many more lived within. Depending on what time of the year you arrive, you always get exposure to the typical British weather. It rains a lot in Summer and it is bitterly cold in Winter. When you see London you see a lot of low built housing some of it in Terrace House style with a lot of people sharing the one dwelling but you also see modern architecture in London as well which sadly has given way to the heritage style of perception that you may think about. I can remember traveling from London to Dover on the trip I was on and thinking years ago that there were battles on this very soil and the British and French were always resenting each other. The trip between Paris and London can take a day but it is amazing that on Euro Star that travel between London and Paris is only a couple of hours. When you cross the English Channel you think of Horatio Nelson as he drove off the French Napoleonic Forces and you think of the Third Reich with the battle of Britain. Also Julius Caesar comes to mind when he landed in England with his famous words "I came, I saw, I conquered". To me Britain has a feeling of independence and dominance because it has always been an area of land that certain powers have wanted to conquer. When you see the White Cliffs of Dover you wonder why Vera Lynn wrote that war time song "There will be Blue Birds Over the White Cliffs of Dover" and when you visit any Cathedral in England you see a collection of crypts and glorified bones ensconced in their very foundations. I can remember visiting Westminster and seeing the tomb of Elizabeth I and also Hexham Abbey and seeing old English within a biblical document. What was London like at the time of Elizabeth I you think? Disease, poverty etc comes to mind and people's heads being chopped off in the Tower are some thoughts. When you cross over into France the architecture has its own style and crossing through the different countries of Europe you see the old border zones of the countries which are often no longer in use. The world is changing and Europe is a place where people need to try and visit if they can as your eyes really open up to history and heritage. I have always wondered why France never got the blame so much in history like Germany did. Germany seemed to be more the trouble maker and the French more somehow the victims. How did Napoleon compare to Hitler? As Napoleon wanted to carve up Europe for himself but yet we think of Napoleon as an arrogant Frenchmen I guess. I am not a very educated person only ever obtaining one degree through hard work at a pass average but everyone has the right to keep an open minded. History is a fascinating subject but it seems that most people seem bored with or show little response or enthusiasm to history. It seems that the modern world encourages people to be shallow and self absorbed with wanting information quickly without wondering where our origins and our societies came from in the first place. When you go to Rome you seem Roman ruins, when you go to Paris you see famous architecture. Do people stop and think or do they expect more? Have people stopped thinking altogether and how much do we really know or have interest in about the history and world around us rather than labeling people or making assumptions too quickly about things? Where does history stand in the modern world?

Being yourself

I can never really understand when you be yourself that some people have to try to either mock or put you down in some way shape or form. It seems that some people follow the herd mentality or tribal instincts and try to either put down or distance themselves from those who may think or act differently to them. With some of the friends I have, I find their wives to be very possessive and controlling. It seems or often is the case that the most criticism or control comes from them than from the friend themselves. When you stand alone for some reason people avoid you and treat you as though you have some kind of disease or possess some kind of instinct that they don't like. Well I consider the problem lies with them or the issue and I have little time for it. The most insidious or critical attacks which I have sometimes received come from women and in some cases some whom are married. I really don't what the problem is but frankly I don't care either. Standing alone is a difficult thing to do for some people and for others it is something that is due to wiring. Some people have a lot of issues and no matter how much you try, they never seem to want to deal or overcome them. It is impossible to be liked by everybody but some people just don't bother to try and make an effort and understand. The thing that is also of importance is that some of these people claim to be Christian or from other similar background and they are the biggest culprits for making judgment and standing behind a false facade of pretending to be a person of morals and standing within the community. I would say that within every organisation there is a small percentage that actually practise what they preach and others just go a long for the mere sake of following the sheep. I have lost some friendships due to wives being over possessive of their husband because they like to control the friendship and do their utmost to prevent or control social interaction by their own means. Sometimes people can have a reputation of gossiping or ganging up on someone and in someone within a church that does this actually a Christian? Well you have to rethink and answer this question yourself. Everyone has critics but there are some people within our society who are merely spineless to be themselves and act on their own instincts and beliefs. They often cave into others to make decisions for them and lack courage to stand on their own two feet. Why should one also have to constantly live their life so as to not make other people feel out of place or envious? Isn't it up to each and everyone of us to make our own way in the world? No matter what a person's station is in life and I do speak of so called Christians, a person should be judged as who they are and not social standing they have in the community. I have no time to try and bullshit or play false games of competition in order to keep up or be self concious of my position and status. I think being yourself is important and to learn from your mistakes wherever and whenever possible.

Gym Program

This afternoon I found out about a gym program which I am going to try for 3 months at the University. As a staff member I get access to the gym, an instructor and the Gym Fitness Program. I really feel that in order to feel more confident and overcome anxiety, that improving my level of fitness is a good idea. I have always toyed with the idea of doing the Milford Track in New Zealand and with an improved level of fitness, my chances of undertaking this walk are more possible. Also the possibility of dong a mountain hike to Peru or to Nepal are possible but only just thoughts at this stage. One of my friends has somewhat inspired me with his walk in Spain. I admire his perseverance and commitment to this undertaking and follow his blog regularly. As for my own self development, the gym may help other Aspies also as anxiety management is something that could perhaps enhance their day to day functioning. I have also found out about a walking group and things are looking good at the moment. As this post is short, I am just going to have a look through the attachments sent to me from ACU (Australian Catholic University) regarding the research required for adults with Asperger Syndrome. Updates soon

Men with Asperger Syndrome and NT Women

As a man with Asperger Syndrome, I believe a great deal many women can be stuck up at times. Men with Asperger Syndrome are wired differently to the regular pattern of thinking and in all honesty I find women very hard to relate too. I get sick and tired of some women that can be just plain crude or nasty in every way shape and form. I don't know what the problem is with me but more so them. They think they are more superior to men but really they are so messed up psychologically that they only have themselves to blame. I think most NT women want a guy to bullshit, suck up to a woman's means of control and for guys that don't play the game they are simply ignored or done away with. I often feel that perhaps men with Asperger Syndrome again speaking from personal experience may benefit from women from an overseas culture. I know some other Aspie guys who have been treated like crap from NT women and because Aspies perhaps exhibit a different law of attraction then they are just treated like crap. You wouldn't want to be around these women anyhow. I have always found pretty women hard to attract to because 9 times out of 10 they are probably in a relationship or choose to be around a man who offers more in terms of money, support and protection. It seems to be a law of attraction game for if you play the games women want and offer what they want then you will succeed in obtaining a relationship from them in the greater opportunity stakes. I find the games women play totally exhausting and I cannot stand trying or pretending to be someone I am not in order to play their games. Perhaps the birds and the bees applies to women wanting to go with men who offer the greatest strength and providence because this ensures evolution etc. Perhaps men with Asperger Syndrome don't succeed in the relationship stakes because the Asperger gene is not supposed to genetically evolve in the human evolutionary process. I don't succeed at all with women nor relationships and I personally think it is harder for men with AS to understand and succeed in them. Some women can just be plane nasty to Aspie guys because our lack of confidence, low self esteem and inability to bullshit puts us at a disadvantage. I personally have encountered difficult women in my life and I thank God that I am not married to them and put up with their nonsense. I think perhaps for all men this is why they don't want to commit to women in marriage or longer term relationships because some women can be standoffish, difficult and just plain hostile. I also think that for Aspie guys that because they are unable to show the signals of attraction that women think the Aspie guy is shirking them or not interested when as I will emphasise Asperger men have difficult again speaking from personal experience in the courting process and being the dominant or leading person within a relationship. For some reason men are also dominated by women and seem powerless in relationships and marriages to actually do what they want because of certain anatomical reasons. Stand up and be yourself is all I can say. I am also sick of women who seem to think that you have to prop them up or be dominant around them because if they clearly think they can succeed in their own right then it is not my responsibility as a man to play their games. Not all women are bad but there are a small proportion who are just clearly insufferable. If you read or watch the news of late you also increasingly hear of women becoming more involved in fights with themselves or attacking other women. Surely there are some serious issues going on here? I often find soltitude and celibacy a better alternative as at least you get less stress and crap to deal with in your life! I just do what I want to do anyhow and I am strong within myself and I think Aspies need to be. I also remember some NT guys whom I used to talk to who would brag on about how many girlfriends or conquests they made in their lives. I think mate haven't you got anything else to talk about do you really think I want to listen to all of this? I mean isn't there more to life?!

Adults with Asperger Syndrome and friendships

From experience I have always found it difficult making friends as I am not totally aware of what constitutes a friendship from an acquaintance. For adults with Asperger Syndrome some but not all struggle with friendships as often we can be intense or invest too much time in energy in a friendship not realising what we are doing to the other person. Furthermore there is I believe a very fine boundary within same sex and platonic friendships. For instance it can easily be misconstrued that for some adults on the spectrum that investing too much energy into a friendship can be seen as odd or peculiar when the Aspie is unaware of what signals need to be employed and how much or how little intensity should occur. In my own situation, I struggled making friends in my earlier years and in some years of adolescence I just found making friends just too overwhelming and often being misunderstood or ignored, I simply gave up trying. Some adults with Asperger Syndrome can be obsessed with making friends and with society being ignorant of Autism and wanting to try and box the person into some label, the person may be totally misunderstood. I don't know nor care what research has to say because I think some psychological analysis are text book but people who don't have friends nor interaction with other people are more prone to depression and mental illness issues. Society has to realise that some adults with Asperger Syndrome may not want nor are able to handle a relationship and because of this they should not be shafted or ignored simply for being themselves. I think there is a generalisation that men are some how dysfunctional if they live a solitary or isolated existence because a relationship is seen as a sense of completeness and fits the criteria of social normality. Single men are seen as perhaps odd and perhaps women avoid them so I have been told as they are not comfortable with them. Some Aspie adults also may struggle with social circles and having a large or regular circle of friends and this puts them at a disadvantage of improving and working upon social skills. Having Asperger Syndrome is like you need an Executive Secretary as Dr Tony Attwood says because when you enter the neuro typical world, what you say, what you don't pick up and what signals you miss out easily make you misunderstood as a person. Aspies are also prone to unconventional friendships and for women on the spectrum they can be prone and exposed to abuse and exploitation just for not being able to pick up and understand signals which in some instances can herald danger. For a person with Asperger Syndrome having a minder or someone to assist with navigating the social world can often be crucial but sadly society does not always accommodate such an important and essential requirement. For Aspie males, the large percent who are single and not in a relationship struggle because I believe from personal experience the issues of lack of confidence and an inability to bullshit to females. For Aspie males just having a female that understands, supports, guides and nurtures is like finding a needle in a haystack and the adult male Aspie is left in the darkness or wilderness. I get tired of people that say I should find someone, be with someone or match me up with someone. I know and can rely on my own strengths and I would rather be happy with the person I am with than having someone proper me up 100%. I am sorry if I offend anyone but I am speaking it as I find it. Some people have issues with the very way you think and therefore you never really get anywhere with them. In terms of friendships, the Aspie has to find friends that understand them and can make modifications where necessary but sadly for some people this can bee too challenging and time consuming. Often Aspies just need something explained to them in a different way and they are fine with what is being said but finding the means and ability of doing this is not easy for some. Adults with AS are not uncaring nor not wanting human interaction we just think differently and our brains work and process information differently and this is not something we can always control. In terms of friends we need people to understand that our ways of interaction and socialising may be different from your own and just explaining something in a way that we understand tends to make things easier for us. We do break conventions but often we don't know why as it is like we walk over hot coals not knowing that they may be glowing when our minds may be focused on the end objective. Asperger Syndrome is not really a disability just a different way of thinking and seeing the world but at present this seems to be the only label of which society can apply. If you have an Aspie friend rather than ignore or write them off just try and approach and talk to them in a different way that they understand as rejection is something Aspies don't take too kindly.

Early Intervention does it always help?

As Asperger Syndrome becomes more and more apparent often the question arises of whether earlier intervention is needed in order to deal with the world better. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in 1998 and I wish I was diagnosed much earlier in life. The crucial years of my life were spent in darkness and confusion and a sense of hopelessness. Added to this a school system which didn't understand. From personal experience, I believe earlier diagnosis is crucial to avoid the struggles and difficulties which stem into adulthood but knowing some adults who were diagnosed much younger than I was, for them they also have certain issues so there is on simple answer to the question of early diagnosis. It is hard to know whether children with Asperger Syndrome should be separated from mainstream schooling because the evolution to adulthood then creates the problem of how society can best manage with adults. What needs to be remembered is that awareness of Asperger Syndrome only arose from 1981 having been lost from the end of the war up until the 1980's so a large period or span of time has disadvantaged many adults who are undiagnosed or those who have been diagnosed wondering what is the next step from diagnosis. For some diagnosis means re-evaluation and re-invention of one's life. The past is a period that cannot be changed and a great deal of counseling may be required to try and overcome the bullying, and difficulties experienced in earlier life. For some adults they need to become strong in order to survive and often with little services and support available, the only means forward is advocacy, self coping or denial. It is hard to live in a world where you think differently from everywhere else and within some societies which display a very narrow view or focus and lack of acceptance of those who are wired differently. If I were to point a finger on a map to indicate an Aspie friendly country, I would probably choose the United Kingdom for eccentricity and difference go largely ignored. In Australia or more particularly in certain parts of Queensland, if you exhibit certain eccentricities, people can be quite aggressive and show little tolerance of those who are different. For instance you may be a football fan and venture to a pub in Rockhampton in Queensland and say, "The Soccer is great and I hope to see the Socceroos'win" and wear a Socceroos jersey only to be looked at with scorn and be told "Soccer is a poofters game mate". Furthermore people who are closed minded to Asperger Syndrome and Autism or eccentricity may as one other Aspie Adult said be not intellectually curious perhaps about something which is different. I think Australians don't realise how lucky they are for when you have been abroad you see at first hand the differences and inequalities in other countries. When I returned from Europe I saw the Queensland Maron Rugby League Jersey and my immediate impression was that it looked like something a worker would wear on an oil rig. However when you speak your mind people seem defensive and sometimes aggressive. Keeping an open mind allows for change and tolerance whereas close minded people you seem to never get anywhere with. I really don't know why Australia has a tall poppy syndrome when if praise is given to people who succeed perhaps this country may actually get somewhere. Anyhow perhaps earlier intervention may be a means of socialisation but can a person with Asperger Syndrome be forced or conditioned to conform when their wiring is different? Perhaps it is up to the individual but eccentricity does bring with it innovation and creativity. I don't know the right answer but really it is up to the individual with Asperger Syndrome and family members involved to draw their own conclusions or make their own opinions. I personally believe that people who have issues with other groups and sectors in society have issues with themselves and fear their own insecurities. People with Asperger Syndrome are different and shouldn't have to be forced to conform or be criticised by others who simply don't take the time to try and listen and understand.

Issues effecting adults with Asperger Syndrome

This afternoon I raised with some help out of another adult with Asperger Syndrome some of the difficulties adults confront in day to day living. The topics raised were unemployment, social isolation, anxiety management, schooling and lack of awareness to name a few matters which were raised. It really saddens me when I see unemployment high amongst Aspies for a lot of adults really have a wealth of intelligence and a great deal to offer but with our cut throat and competitive society, some are simply unable to get on the pay roll. Sadly unemployment also means a lowering of the quality of life in adults and many adults sadly just fall on the scrap heap or withdraw and in some instances give up altogether. I really feel powerless and unable to help and it seems society simply does not understand. Take for instance one adult who can tell you a great deal about train and time table information who exists on a pension within low grade housing commission accommodation. As a society the term disability needs to be modified and furthermore the Disability Discrimination Act needs to accommodate Autism/Asperger Syndrome within it classification. I am often encouraged to write a book but what good is this if the information which I share with others may not draw enough response and help pave way for change? In some ways early intervention in children is important as well as diagnosis to help overcome the crucial years of development but what do I know having been told by a Psychologist that I have no understanding of Psychology? I ask the question that if I don't have an understanding of Psychology then how the hell did I survive and get to where I am today? You don't need to have an academic qualification to be an expert in Asperger Syndrome, you simply need a means of coping and an understanding of coping mechanisms and counseling to assist you in your own personal development. Recently I have been advised to join Toastmasters to help with confidence, undertake speech pathology to assist overcome speech monotonous voice and undertake Yoga to help with anxiety management. For adults with Asperger Syndrome many of my friends who are also on the Autistic Spectrum are affected in different ways. Some are sociable, some have executive function issues and some have difficulty with social isolation and depression. We all share the same characteristics of being able to understand the world around us and our wiring tends to make us unable to gel with the rest of society which we have no control over. Why then is unemployment and relationships a difficulty therefore in Asperger Syndrome men? I do not know the answer to this but the question has to be asked is what is being looked for in terms of a relationship and how much space? I think from personal experience that Aspies learn information and adjust to learning and navigating the world in their own way and when pressure and time restraints are applied, the mind goes into overdrive or shuts down. In Australia and more particularly Queensland, people need to overcome the narrow minded and insular ways of thinking in terms of Autism/Asperger Syndrome. Not all adults are like Raymond in Rain Man and just because a person is different does not always imply that they are a freak. In Australia there is very little tolerance of eccentricity and adults struggle in terms of being accepted in some instances and simply needing time to themselves or being simply who they are as people. If more awareness and understanding of Autism/ Asperger Syndrome becomes apparent then for children there is a positive light for the future and for adults a means of acceptance to overcome denial. Hopefully in time perhaps these very thoughts and words may resonate to foster such possibilities but in the meantime, promoting awareness seems to be the only approach. Adults with Asperger Syndrome are often modest and simply like simplicity and space in their lives but often with expectations around them, it is like they tumble within a clothes dryer. I hope in my life time that more employment will occur for adults so that they can have a reasonable quality of life rather than existing in the despair of darkness and ignorance. Just because you see or know an adult and they may be obsessed or eccentric does not mean they have personal struggles behind the scenes. For some adults simply dealing with heightened anxiety can be a constant problem and having a means of controlling this and find therapies that work is something often worked upon. Rather than medicate the problem, perhaps more understanding and measures can be implemented to significantly reduce anxiety in adults and finding support in terms of employment also needs to be implemented. The government needs to fund and provide measures to assist with adults with Asperger Syndrome so that they can live a quality of life and not be misunderstood nor neglected within our fast paced society. I suppose people have different views or ideas but who knows unless they are expressed?

Being disadvantaged by lack of social networks

As an adult it is often difficult to find friends and enter relationships due to the lack of networks available. As per a neuro typical, an Aspie is unable to get out into the community and employ the social skills in the same way therefore difficulty arises. I find it hard to get out into the community because I lack social circles and therefore compared to NTs I am not in the same situation as them. I am currently reconsidering options if avalable to find a support worker to help me get out more. It is like the support worker has to be a minder to help me relate, understand and fit in with social groups where I experience difficulty in being accepted and understood. I have friends but often they are busy and relying on routine is always expected but yet difficult to break. Furthermore socialising and trying to implement chit chat and small talk is both tiring and frustrating. What then are my options? As an adult with Asperger Syndrome it feels like I need a minder to help me to fit in and connect with the community but yet such support and services are unavailable. Whatever I do is fraught with difficulty and I have no choice but to keep pushing for more advocacy. Adults seem in my case to be more disadvantaged by social isolation and a need for support workers to connect adults with the community is paramount if social isolation is to be overcome. An increased involvement in the community would greatly increase potential friendships and improve the chance of a relationship but are such support and services likely?

Surviving in a cut throat and competitive world

At 37 close to 38 years of age, I often find the decisions of how to make myself more marketable and up to date as an individual very difficult. Although I do hold a Bachelor of Arts Degree majoring in Politics and Sociology, I have been informed that my degree is no longer current. Having recently tried for a PhD in Psychology, not being in the sausage factory for 11 years has put me out of sync with the means of studying and the necessary requirements for post graduate education. Quite simply the means of attempting any further study is in itself daunting and overwhelming and as an individual I wonder exactly where my life is going. I find a career path very difficult as I do not possess abilities to be able to enter a career of my choice and strengths. I work in a University Library and even the promotional and staff development opportunities seem out of reach and impossible. Where does this leave me then? As I get older, I begin to realise that having employment is very important as well as the means of networking which I find difficult. I don't know why as an Aspie I am unable to network to obtain a better job but perhaps being too honest and speaking my mind certainly doesn't help, furthermore the necessary social skills requirements in order to progress up the corporate or workplace ladder. It is very difficult working in a university as universities can be very lonely places and I find this a constant problem. I see lots of young people, somewhat younger than myself and yet trying to join clubs at the university and make friends seems impossible. I do have friends in the University Asperger Group but some have moved on and others do come regularly and have their own issues in terms of their lives and study. I have always expected a university to be a place of higher thinking and discussion but sadly I do not see this. Young people are trying to better themselves in their lives and universities have become sausage factories for degrees rather than education and currently a lot of these young people are under a great deal of pressure to meet job requirements and careers etc. Universities are very competitive places to work in and the University of Queensland or UQ as it is called is no exception. Being an Aspie I often find it difficult to gel into the environment and despite working here for approximately 6 years almost, I still seem to be somewhat isolated. I thought I would attend the Staff Reunion at the UQ Library as a means of finding out what it was like for staff who worked here in the 1950's. Hopefully it will be interesting but only attendance will tell. I feel constantly stuck in a position I am not able to advance from and in terms of other employment I am quite frankly useless and inexperienced. I just find the very concept of this so overwhelming and taxing that I have learned to adapt and trying at present to find other areas of interest in my life. I don't like being socially isolated and I get tired of the way my mind works. What else can or could I be doing to improve myself and to be more socially accepted? Perhaps more challenges are the way to go and I have to rely on the support and advice of a counselor to help me navigate the social world of regular people which I find difficult and frustrating. You only have your strength to rely on in such challenging situations and things to look forward to in terms of holidays. I have to be careful of wolves and bullies in a work environment and often I find myself having to put up with difficult people at times. They simply try and make life difficult and be rude to you when you try to do your job. Some people have their own problems and I don't feel I should have to endure their resentment or bitterness as I don't go into the workplace and be pissed off at everyone else if I don't like or enjoy my job.

Why sleeping is sometimes useless

It is 1am in the morning and I am unable to sleep. Sometimes I get these waves of insomnia and there is nothing I really can do. Medication doesn't always work and trying to sleep is an impossible task. It is like my mind is unable to shut down. I try to write things down to clear and get them out of my mind but this in itself does not always work! I have just been overseas and now I return to the crashing reality of trying to fill in the void of an empty social life. Just going out and trying to find a social life is in itself a difficult task. I wish at times that I could find a support worker or someone who could assist me to be able to make small talk and to relate to people but having tried this in the past my efforts have proved fruitless. I don't know what it is with the Aspie brain and why it is wired so differently to other people. Lying awake and not sleeping at all seems to be something that I have to endure as medication is not always able to solve the problem. Why is everything always a struggle? I like other adults don't seem to be able to be good at a career path and a lot of my abilities and strengths are simply overlooked and I am misunderstood as a person. Luckily I am able to obtain counseling which is helping somewhat but still enduring social isolation is difficult. My mind is always trapped in routine and trying to escape it is a real challenge. It is always back to the drawing board of trying to connect with the community to overcome social isolation but this in itself just always seems frustrating. My notes at 12am include 1. Join the gym 2. Try to join a social group and find advice and suggestions to relate to other people 3. Have something to look forward too 4. Don't do too much advocacy to burn yourself out 5. If someone you know has entered a relationship feel happy for them rather than feeling sorry for yourself 6. Being single is not in itself a burden as there are benefits 7. Don't try and look for a relationship but rather live your life and either you will or you wont meet someone 8. Talk about concerns to the counselor as they hopefully will understand whereas people in the neurotypical people wont or will struggle too. Being back to normal is always a hard adjustment but I have to keep trying the best I can despite some critics who keep telling me that I whinge a lot. Maybe they should be in the shoes of someone the disorder and realise just how hard it is rather than just making judgements and assumptions. A person with Asperger Syndrome does not choose to be born with this condition and they cannot always help the way they think and feel. Sometimes some advice and guidance goes a long way to be able to help in the situation!

Advocacy of Asperger Syndrome

As I work part time as this is all I can handle as I get exhausted mentally at the end of the day, I spend a great deal of my spare time in the area of Asperger Syndrome advocacy. I am doing this in my own time and I am only able to handle as much as I am able too as I try to move forward to break down the barriers of ignorance. Recently I have updated my blog. I am not sure whether people like it or what else needs to be done to it but I can only do my best. I am in touch with a lot of adults on the Autistic Spectrum and I hear constantly the issues of unemployment, social isolation and depression and I am at a loss to know how to help and what assistance I can provide. I also have to keep my head above water and at times the simple day to day functioning of life can be very taxing. People don't really understand me and my different way of thinking and coping is not always understood. I am also in touch with parents of children with Asperger Syndrome and I hear of the struggles they too confront with the barriers of ignorance and misunderstanding. Just because people with Asperger Syndrome look like everyone else does not mean that within them difficulties and certain struggles do not exist. I try my best to help where I can and not all adults with Asperger Syndrome are always supportive. They have their own issues and difficulties. They have their own ways of coping and some are in denial and this is their own personal choice. Often times you venture into areas where awareness of Asperger Syndrome needs to be made known and you get no responses or interest in return. It is too draining to persevere and the only way to handle the situation is for people within these areas to hopefully express an interest to know more within some future stage. I am not always totally sure myself where my own life is going and often expectations are made of me which I cannot honour. I find life can be very draining at times and I feel trying to show incentive and ambition is a fruitless exercise at times. I just seem to struggle in everything I try to set out to do and trying to succeed perhaps with unrealistic expectations just simply makes you depressed and anxious. I really need help within my own life in terms of counseling to help me to try and adjust and adapt to the Neurotypical world which I find a struggle to understanding. I ask myself the questions Why is it so difficult to be like other people? Why do I think differently? Why do I need vast amounts of time in my own company? Why do I think and over think more than other people? Why do I act and behave differently and become obsessed? Why is it difficult to make friends and enter a relationship? Where will I be in the future for will I be able to live a comfortable life or will I have to be placed into some kind of public housing or an institution because trying to live in the NT world is just too overwhelming? I just don't understand why governments are slow to act on the issue of Autism and furthermore the neglect that adults with Asperger Syndrome confront in society. Surely governments are able to recognise the growing unemployment statistics and later diagnosis of adults and what help is being implemented to assist with support and vital services? People look at you and think you are like everyone else but you think differently and break conventions without even knowing you are doing so and furthermore people are upset when you do or say something which you fail to understand unless they are frank enough to bring it to your attention. I am obsessed with an Autism Bill in Australia not just for me but to ensure adults with Asperger Syndrome and children with Asperger Syndrome are able to get the support and help they need and to no longer confront neglect, social isolation, unemployment and depression. I can only do my best and believe me I am trying the best I can.

New Technnology and a shrinking world

As technology grows and grows it seems that the world is becoming smaller. If you use Google Earth you can search for a location on earth in a matter of seconds and should you wish to contact someone in another country, then you only have to browse the internet and click a webpage or information that relates to the necessary information required. Recently I have upgraded to an Iphone and what you can do on an Iphone is incredible. You can download documentaries on it and watch it on your phone and you can keep up with family, friends and contacts by the many applications the phone features. So if you go for a walk and listen to your ipod, you are never stuck for you can use social utilities and the phone itself to make contact. I can remember back to when I was younger and communication was different as to what it is today. Few people had a car and communication was by the family phone. If you were well off you could have two phone lines or phones in your house and this was considered a luxury. When you look at the world today, almost everyone has a mobile phone and getting in touch with another person is not in itself difficult. You see younger people talking on their mobile phones and wonder how much debt they are getting into or what exactly they use their phones for. As custodians of this planet we exist in a large vacuum of space and we seem to be the only humanoid life as we know it at the moment. Will humanity start to look for other planets to colonize and to explore in the future? If our own planet continues to grow at a rapid rate reaching almost 8 billion people, how will the planet support so many inhabitants? Globalisation has made the world smaller but in reality what will the future be like? How will people live and what will happen to the earth's natural resources? Technology is making the world smaller and hopefully the future will be optimistic to an ever growing population.

New Technology

I have recently purchased an Iphone and I am learning how to use it despite its many different and unique features. I never seem to have much luck with Mobile Phones as they either end up crashing on me or after a while they just become cumbersome. The great thing about the Iphone is that you can use it like an Ipod and furthermore download documentaries and other information on it. I am new to all of this and furthermore I never really knew how to use an Ipod which I am still learning. I am somewhat in the dark ages when it comes to technology but when you are able to access it, you can learn a great deal more. On the Iphone you can apparently pick up itunes or certain musical sounds from other phones within the globe. I am familiarizing myself with the phone as I speak and hopefully I should have a greater understanding of modern technology. Since my return from Europe, I have also been re-adjusting to life in Australia and am pondering over whether I should attend the University Library Staff Reunion. All things to think about. This blog is a small entry as I am not able to write as much as I usually can at the moment.

The Silent Struggle

Not many people realise that Asperger Syndrome is a disorder where a person lives within their own world and finds it difficult to communicate with others despite their strength and weakness in social skills. Often people have asked me "Garry why don't you write a book about your experiences?". Well in answer to this, I have tried to do so and there has been no interest not to mention how difficult and draining it would be to write a book. Who would read it and furthermore why put myself under all the stress to write it and not obtain any result? Recently I have jettisoned plans to undertake further study. I have raised the idea of presenting a lecture on being an adult with Asperger Syndrome to a contact within the University of Queensland Psychology Department but such an idea does not look like it will come to fruition. The idea would be to raise and promote awareness amongst Psychology Students about Asperger Syndrome but perhaps I lack the ability to be able to do this. I have a learning disability. Being able to write and undertake university study is difficult and the level of support I would need is simply not available. Furthermore my own definition of psychology differs to text book psychology within a university. I have had to use my own form of psychology to break through anxiety and to try and cope with and understand this world. Why should I have to research and write psychology when I have AS myself and see things differently to university psychology? Some people just don't get me but that is their problem and not mine. I can't help being the way I am and I don't think I need to jump off a bridge because I am unable to fit in to the mainstream of society. Yesterday I met with local member of parliament to raise awareness of Asperger Syndrome in adults. Being an adult myself, I feel it concerning to know of other adults with AS who simply are unable to find employment or obtain a reasonable quality of life. The member concerned is hopefully going to raise my concerns and issues to both the Minister for Health and Employment at a national level. For adults wherever they may be, we need to unite and network and not work alone in our advocacy if we are to raise awareness in our prospective countries I feel. I do a lot of advocacy within Brisbane but for some of the other adults, they find executive function difficult and often cannot promote awareness where they can or organise meetings. Earlier this year some adults with AS contributed to a documentary on Asperger Syndrome which hopefully will reach some form of media in the not too distant future. These adults made a great effort and their contribution is invaluable in raising awareness in adults. A lot of adults are living their lives in solitude and social isolation and although awareness is being picked up in children, adults are still left in the wilderness. Society cannot ignore this growing problem and with increasing diagnosis, what support and help is available? I have adults who have been diagnosed ask me "Where to from here?". I don't have the answers but I do know that slowly a network is building of adults with Asperger Syndrome and we all need to help each other out where we can. I don't know the answers and have often been criticised for thinking the way I do but I grow tired of the silent struggle and seeing others around me in a lower quality of life and essential support and services unavailable. We need to look at social skills support for adults, accommodation and employment support before we can begin to really make significant change. I live a lot of my own life within seclusion and social isolation. I find it very difficult to show a lighter side and furthermore make friends easily. Everything seems to be a struggle and I know that advocacy can be the only way to heal the wounds and overcome the ignorance. I know it will take time but I am not prepared to sit back either and just think things will happen automatically. The awareness needs to begin somewhere and people need to show a guiding light towards a better quality of life and understanding. People can be hurtful out of ignorance and misunderstanding but more awareness will hopefully pave the way for more support and understanding.

The UK Autism Bill

On a recent visit to the United Kingdom I was surprised at the level of awareness of Autism with the passing of the Autism Bill. The passing of the Bill puts Autism on the national front and goes further to make Autism seen as an important issue rather than an isolated disability. By this I mean families and individuals affected by Autism have some recognition at a federal level. The question I ask myself is how possible is it for other countries particularly the United States and Australia to pass a similar Bill to put Autism on the national agenda. In my own opinion I think both the United States and Australia are lagging behind the United Kingdom in terms of this area. Autism and Asperger Syndrome are seen as something that is not clearly understood and the struggles and difficulties associated with these conditions are often swept under the carpet or necessary funding is going to the wrong areas. You grow tired of people not understanding Asperger Syndrome and in all honesty not everyone is going to understand but like other areas and disabilities have some recognition, it would be good if Asperger Syndrome/Autism had the same recognition. I know all too well the struggles I and other adults have being on the Autistic Spectrum. A high percentage of adults are unemployed and furthermore a greater proportion are leaving below the economic threshold. Not being able to find employment means poor quality of life and good minds and intelligent people are just existing on the scrap heap. It is going to take years for change to occur but letting time pass and being idle is not really the solution. The National Autistic Society in the United Kingdom seems to get a lot of funding and furthermore access to services seems at a higher level compared to other countries like Australia and the United States. If you mention Autism in the United Kingdom you are more likely to be understood whereas in other countries people know very little about it or how to react to the condition. From my own personal struggles, I know I have to be an advocate where I can. I get tired of people not understanding as it makes life more difficult and challenging. Within the United Kingdom the National Autistic Society based in London seems to have and offer a lot of awareness and how can other countries implement the same approach and awareness? What needs consideration is that children with Autism ultimately become adults with Autism and what support is available for adults apart from living under the economic threshold and needing family and limited services to survive on? I do not have all the answers but I do believe that more needs to be done. Adults present the highest in unemployment statistics and very little is available by way of accommodation and vital services. If we are to understand Autism at a wider scale then surely the answer is to get a Bill or similar passed in parliament to put Autism on the national agenda. If people write to their politicians and promote awareness where they can then more and more the word is getting out there as well as greater understanding. Every little bit helps and time is very important. Together everyone can make a difference where they can.

What exactly is success?

In the world today you hear of people who have talents and who are successful compared to those who just work and make a living and just get by. In terms of measuring success you need to define what you think success is in your own words. I would not regard myself as successful for instance as I am just a survivor. I don't really have any talents nor am I good at anything and I have come to realise that trying to obtain goals and reach expectations just simply isn't worth it. If you strive to obtain goals or you have too high an expectation on something, you often meet with disappointment. Furthermore just having different wiring means that you are going to perhaps being unconventional in your ways of thinking. I think as a society that the socialisation process places a goal of being successful in life in order to set some kind of standard or benchmark. Too often if people are not able to fit the criteria or meet expectations they feel at a loss within themselves and often feel a sense of worthless or low self esteem. In my life I have had dreams and desires and mostly they have not come to fruition. Promotion or success is just something that doesn't exist if you have Asperger Syndrome but there are other possibilities where you can live a quality of life. If you have interests you can retreat into these and escape the world of conformity. Too often the world of conformity can make you feel that you have to somehow fit in with the world around you and if you don't then you feel shattered or a sense of no worth. Some adults with AS often say to me that how can you obtain a quality of life and why is life so difficult and why do I feel depressed etc. There is no real simple answer to this but you have to work within your boundaries and not try to conform or think you are like other people. Don't compare yourself to others and if you are not able to succeed then don't be too hard on yourself. Often people try too hard to achieve and some have talents but 99% of the population have to work and mostly don't like their job. The world can be a very difficult place but more so if you try to resist or want to change it. Some people are receptive and want to be your friend whereas others just ignore or don't want to have anything to do with you. This is the way they are and it is their problem and not yours. Don't take things personally and learn to accept your strengths and weaknesses. In my own situation I struggle a lot and have a difficulty with reading and writing in terms of assessment and learning things in general. Some things I just struggle to pick up and I either try where I can or just accept where I stand. Success is something that can make people competitive and also make people depressed so you need to know what it is you can handle and what you need to jettison. I also get tired of people who want me to be the way they think or want me to be and don't accept me for who I am. I have different wiring and ways of thinking and I cannot help the way my brain is and thinks. People with AS have different wiring and our brains just think differently and it is beyond our control and often we can be rejected or overlooked just for simply being the way we think and are in the world.

Future Decisions

One of the things I find most difficult is socialsing with other people. I find it extremely difficult to make conversation and have a lighter side and often in social situations I find it difficult for other people to understand me. It always seems and feels like I have to go back to the drawing board to find out what I am actually interested in and to furthermore find interests. I am now seeing a Psychologist at Minds and Hearts. Friends and family are often difficult to be around and I don't think you can rely on people nowadays as everyone seems to be busy. I have decided to also jettison plans for further study as I am not really keen on the idea of more assessment and being told I cannot write properly and to understand referencing according to a university. In all honesty the psychology that exists as perhaps text book psychology is not the same psychology I have used to get through my life. If I don't have an understanding of Psychology then how did I get to where I am today? I have had to rely on my own techniques and strengths to survive as best I can. I get tired of critics telling me that I am always negative. If they are aware of Asperger Syndrome, depression is part of the condition and ways of thinking and behaving are different. I will continue to assist with Asperger Syndrome advocacy where I can but some people will never get it or try to understand just like I guess I will never really understand them. I do enjoy traveling and finding what I am good at I guess I will no in time. I tend to link being good at something to being selfish as it is all consuming and I forget about everything and everyone around me. I do hope to visit some other adults with Asperger Syndrome in the not too distant future. Some countries on the cards are Norway, the United States, Denmark, the United Kingdom and New Zealand. My publications seem to be of no interest to anyone in the Asperger field so I will no longer be sending information and writings in relation to this area to those concerned. My main concern is that there are a lot of adults with Asperger Syndrome unemployed and with this their quality of life is lower than others. They cannot fund their special interests nor can they experience life to a regular standard. The government needs to listen and stop pretending that Autism is not a reality. You need to live with and have Autism to experience what it is like and believe me it is an important issue. The United Kingdom has an Autism Bill but what about Australia? Can such a Bill come into existence and be implemented and services to match? I will be undertaking awareness where I can without burnout but I am unable to take queries in finding support for other adults. I need to look after myself first so that I don't burn out. I will try new adventures but once again the social component is always the most difficult. I look like everyone else but yet I think and act differently. More updates later when I feel up to writing again. I enjoyed my trip overseas and despite there being some challenges at least I got there and showed other Aspies they can travel also. There is hope for them and I hope it comes their way also.

Traveling abroad as an adult with Asperger Syndrome

Often adults with Asperger Syndrome may feel intimidated or overwhelmed or perhaps disadvantaged in not being able to travel abroad. I would like to say from personal experience that this is not the situation. As adults with Asperger Syndrome spend a great deal of their or own time in social isolation, this does not preclude us from going abroad. I can travel on my own and I have learned to not rely on other people for entertainment or support. Traveling on your own allows for certain benefits in that people don't prevent you from seeing things you want to see and more importantly if you go on an organised tour which can be run by a travel agency such as Cosmos etc. This takes out all the strain of getting around a country or countries and all of the hassle associated with immigration and other over whelming matters. I recently have traveled abroad to Europe, traveling by Singapore Airlines and undertaking my tour with Cosmos. I informed both organisations of my Asperger Syndrome and now that I have the Autism Alert Card, if there are any problems or questions which I cannot answer due to anxiety, I show whomever concerned the card. It can be anxiety provoking for anyone when traveling abroad but if you are open and honest about your needs and support it can go a long way to freeing up a lot of anxiety and stress. Often going through customs and immigration can be stressful as well as boarding an aircraft. A lot of Aspies get overwhelmed very easily in such situations and having some support can make the world of difference especially when traveling alone. I am not prepared to sit around and not undertake opportunities because I have limitations. I have been told by some people it is amazing what you do as if I am some kind of invalid. There are people worse off than me but I am not going to depend on other people either to do things with other people. When I travel I often spend time on my own and find it easier being in a travel group as you don't have to worry about getting lost and having to find transport etc For instance if you travel on your own you have to make a lot more decisions and furthermore deal with immigration and other ways of thinking and cultures. It is important to make someone aware while abroad that you have Asperger Syndrome whether this be a tour guide or someone in authority. This person needs to ensure they understand your situation for if you get lost or have issues they can assist you wherever possible. A mobile phone is important and meeting points on the trip. It is important you know where the meeting points are in the countries and cities and that you communicate clearly with the tour director. You may need more than often to push for Meet and Assist on the Airline and as more awareness of Asperger Syndrome becomes available you will be less likely presented with a wheel chair. I often remark that the wheel chair is when you are exhausted from the over stimulation. Adults with Asperger Syndrome can travel and I hope that I can provide encouragement to other adults to travel and not feel trapped by Asperger Syndrome. Traveling great distances can be overwhelming but support and help is available also. I don't let AS stop me from traveling overseas rather I try to conquer the way it affects me. While in Singapore I had to rely on myself to get to the Hotel I was in. Firstly the travel agent booked a hotel a fair way out from the airport and the driver spoke very little English. While I was in the Shuttle Bus, he dropped off the other passengers and I was the last on the bus. He was about to drop me off at the wrong Hotel and luckily I picked this up, so at least I saved a taxi fare. I found Singapore an unusual place and I was concerned that I may not get to the airport and had to rely on my organisational skills to ensure I had enough Singapore Dollars for a taxi fare. For all I knew I could have been driven the longest routes to accrue more of a fare so I just hoped that the driver was honest and could speak good English. I was glad to have left Singapore as the previous 12 hour flight earlier had knocked me around and I kept having to stave off sleep in order to organise things.

Europe Trip

I would like to begin with my flight from Brisbane. I left on Thursday 13th May bound for Singapore to connect with the flight to London. Leaving Brisbane at around 2pm on the afternoon of Thursday 13th May I arrived in Singapore at around 10.00pm that night and my flight to London was about an hour afterwards. It takes about 12 hours to get to London and the flight is long and it is often hard to sleep on the plane. When you see the flight path you cross from Singapore over India and it takes a while to get to Europe. I found it difficult to sleep and after taking 1/2 Valium I found I got a few hours sleep and felt somewhat refreshed afterwards. I eventually arrived in London at 5am on Friday morning. London was cold and I had to be careful to not confuse myself with it being 5pm in the afternoon. Once I arrived in the terminal, I obtained assistance to find a tour group representative. After finding this person I then boarded the shuttle to the Hotel. Once in the Hotel I knew I could not sleep and so I boarded a tour group bound for St Pauls Cathedral and some other well known sites of London. Afterwards I went to bed at around 8.30pm with the sun still shining. The next morning, I woke up with my mobile alarm at 5am. I then proceeded to the lobby of the hotel to where lots of people, a lot of Australians and New Zealanders were waiting for their tours. We boarded buses then bound for Dover to cross the English Channel to Calais in France. The trip from London to Dover is about an hour and a half. Having reached Calais the group then had to go through French customs and after the 1 hour and 15 mins journey, France came into view. Once in France there was a toilet stop before the paying of 50 Euro to 1.50 Euro toilets. Then onto Brussels. Traveling through France before reaching Brussels, I could not believe that I was finally in Europe and the land where Napoleon once stood. It is easy now to go through Europe and I would encourage others to go to Europe if they get the chance. Belgium was not much different to France but Brussels was a city on its own. I tried to order some food in Brussels and nobody could speak English and you had to push your way through. As there was a Philipino family, I decided to join them for some dinner as going it alone was almost impossible. After having something to eat, I then toured the square for with every European City has one. Then the next stop was to Germany and then onto the Czech Republic. Germany was green and had rolling hills. I noted the churches with their unique steeples and the towns in Germany. Austria was a little different with some ALPS and apparently in Europe there are tracts of space prior to the boarder which acted as a safety boarder should nobody enter the country without being thoroughly checked. The Czech Republic was different. It previously experienced Communism and when Hitler decided to march into Czechoslovakia in 1938, Britain and allies thought that they can have it rather than the bother. So many people disadvantaged etc. Stalin was no saint either and killed many people more than the Third Reich. A lot of ruin occurred because the Communists let the Czech Republic go. After my stay here then onto Italy after visiting Austria. Italy was different, you bought the food and showed the receipt prior to getting your food etc. Italian people rather aggressive and Venice and Rome were different and somewhat dirty in places. Europeans smoke a lot and cigarette butts everywhere. Besides this the roads were chaos but Italy has its own charm I guess. After Italy then onto Switzerland with the high mountains and crossing the 17km tunnel under the Alps. Yes a 17km tunnel under the Alps and its construction was amazing. Enjoyed the scenery in Switzerland and then enjoyed France afterwards. France was like Germany with lush green hills and cows on almost every pasture. Paris was awesome and climbed the Eiffel Tower and did a cruise of the river Seine. Enjoyed Paris and wish I had more time there and then back to London. All this in 15 days and what a lot to see!!