How to communicate to someone on the Autism Spectrum

Unfortunately some or certain people hold a view that persons on the Autism Spectrum are introspective and want everyone to change for the sake of them or a few.  I would like to correct this thought by saying that most sensible persons on the Autism Spectrum entertain the concept of a two way means of communication which does not discriminate or maintain bias towards either an Aspie or non Aspie.

So how therefore is communication possible with a person on the Autism Spectrum?   Firstly a person on the Autism Spectrum has or her own way of thinking and processing information.  Secondly the best way to communicate to a person on the Autism Spectrum is to try and understand our world and our means of communication.  Even though this may be taxing for a non Autistic person, just making some time for the Autistic person on ocassion can go a long way.  Ask questions which are not too personal or express an interest in finding out what makes an Aspie tick.  This may be by talking about or sharing in the special interest or showing that you are a kind person and don't want to hurt the Autistic person's feelings.  Aspies can often perceive information a different way or may have a literal interpretatoin on the world but this does not mean that Aspies are robots lacking in empathy.  As an Aspie an action may not be automatic or automated for us.  For instance we may act or say something which may offend the non Autistic person or perhaps get up their nose. 

The biggest barrier and difficulty for an Aspie is social isolation and communication.  Sadly the world is non Aspie and people interact in a non Aspie way but for an Aspie, the non Aspie way may be very confusing with smoke and mirrors.  There may als be gray areas and social nuisances, barriers and conventions which we may struggle to see. 

What are some strategies to communicate to an Aspie?

1. Find out their special interest
2. Watch Pride and Prejudice
3. Ask questions not too personal about how the person with Autism, thinks, feels and sees things around them
4. Try to explain more so than demand or criticise the person with Autism
5. Explain diplomatically even if it may be challenging an action which may have offended.
6. Show the Autistic person you are kind and try to forge a level of trust and safe guard them against attacks from the insidious
7. Don't reprimand or rouse on the Autistic person. 

Persons on the Autistic Spectrum should be treated like everyone else and the world is not one way but more so varied.  How do you think you can be a friend or communicate with an Autistic person?  The main problem with the world is that people are busy and making time is not always possible. Also people can be impatient with Aspies or just not bother with us because of our complexities.  It is just a matter of finding a way to communicate to enter the Autistic person's world. 

It's back to the drawing board again, well almost!

I am only one human being in this world.  However, I consider myself one strong one.  For the past almost 2 weeks out of a month I have been house sitting at Albany Creek which is about 20kms north of Brisbane.  I spent the first 6 years of my life within this suburb.  When I was young, I remember while my grandmother lived at Alderley that I would often pass the Albany Creek Crematorium and up Old Northern Road, past our old family home that was on Jacaranda Drive.  How things have changed since then.  I spent last Sunday re visiting places I used to recall.  I went out to the Crematorium in which my grandmother's ashes (Mamar) can be found and working out exactly where she was interred.  The walls are not easy to find based on past memories, but luckily after contacting my father and obtaining the necessary specifics and not giving up, I found where Mamar's plot is to be found.  I remember when I was a child driving up in her old Tarana automatic seeing the Crematorium as we passed and I wonder if Mamar knew back then that this is where she would end up?  Perhaps she knew and nobody else did?

I have been under some stress lately and Monday 18th June 2012 was not a good day.  On this day I did not feel good and had to call in sick from UQ.  On trying to do the right thing, I contacted the doctor and went in and saw him.  I described exactly how I was feeling and the social isolation and loneliness I felt then and still feel somewhat now.  Although house sitting gives me independence, I still find myself largely socially isolated from others around me.  I caught up with old family friends and neighbours but I struggled to know what to say to them, apart from the fact that they remembered me last when I was 6 years old.  It was interesting seeing our English neighbours looking older with gray hair and thinking that way back they remembered me and some of the things I told them.  I also find that trying to talk to people about things is just about impossible.  It feels like I am a past visitor to an area that I used to live in.  I used to think that Albany Creek was not part of Brisbane and when I was 3 years old, I used to say to myself that I was from Albany Creek and not Brisbane.  People seem a bit more open in Albany Creek and I have noticed there are a few forests about.  I visited my old school where the teacher Miss Muir used to change her shoes and I spent the days in school putting stickers into cartoon books than learning tasks and being involved with the other children.

I feel frustrated a lot in that I am merely living on survival skills and intelligence but my interactive skills seem not existent.  I just find that I can speak a few sentences at the most and after that I just become mentally drained.  On Monday, I felt so tired mentally as I drove to UQ (University of Queensland) Doctor to express my concerns about working in what I term a toxic environment.  It is like most if not all staff understand me or talk and other people I know around campus just simply ignore me even though I have met them etc.  I cannot understand why they do this and I try not to let it bother me.  I have 2 more weeks after this week in the house sit at Albany Creek.  I am looking after a border collie, a grey cat and a small fish.  I seem to be spending most of my time talking to myself or trying to watch anything meaningful on television. I also take the dog for a walk and use the treadmill in the hope of feeling better.  Also to burn off some calories and to try and keep fit.  I really think mental health in Australia is not good.  People are just ignored, live in their homes if they have one and the wider community fail to understand.  I turn on Parliament Question Time and I am disappointed to see politicians only looking after their own interests.  They seem detached from their constituents and I wonder why this is the case?  What about people who need help and support?  Isn't this better than attacking each other and mud slinging? 

I am trying to organise a trip for next year.  I wonder if I will be able to handle it or find a tour which understands me as I think and act a little differently to others?  I also am working things as best I can for the future.  I also am trying to work out things that are happening now..  I enjoy working in the Dorothy Hill Physics and Sciences & Engineering Library and have felt so uncomfortable with the Social Sciences Library to escape to what I consider a safe zone.  I feel it more conducive to my work situation but I know that I cannot be moved there which I find disappointing.  I feel freer and able to function better and although I make mistakes, I try to learn from these and not ask too many questions.  It is asking too many questions that obviously irritates people? 

I am trying to remain strong at the moment but I just wish people would understand better.  Perhaps one day this may happen??!!!

Autism misunderstanding and bullying

I often feel at times like people are trying their best to convert me to their way of thinking when in fact I am not interested and unable to think the way that they do.  For instance I was told recently that I don't follow conversation and struggle to keep on track.  I found such a comment inappropriate for this is the way I think and function.  I also find that 'tribalism' which is what I call the forced conversion of a person on the Autism Spectrum to think and act like a non Autistic person somewhat insensitive.  Within work environments for instance I have had cowboy managers adopt this 'blokey' and 'ego' culture which in all honesty is so tedious and boring.  I mean what is the point of it and also being set up with women or forced to be around them due to fears of homophobia.  Honestly this is just annoying.  I really don't give a stuff what people think of me and the way I live, I just don't like being told what I should do and how to think.  I am capable of doing this myself.  Also trying to deal with difficult people in workplaces is just draining.  You try and act with a degree of decorum, dignity and kindness and all these people want to do is try and drag you or put you down.  Again I don't understand it.

Bullying for a person on the Autism Spectrum occurs when the person with Autism is in a work environment. Our often difficulty with social interaction which is an impairment in two way interaction causes us difficulty.  For the non Autistic person, they just don't get how an Autistic person struggles within a work environment to make sense of it.  Added to this putting up with the many personalities which just make survival in a work place hard work.  I still find some difficult people to work with.  I have to try and be strong just to get through the working day. In particular a person who constantly likes to try and test my boundaries.  Sending me to work areas where there is little work or just ignoring my rights within the workplace.  For instance I tend to fear having an injury at work because I feel that I would be left defenceless and I know of another Aspie who was in this situation.  He was provided with no supervision and obtained a workplace injury and then had to drive to work with his broken arm and in pain with no help in the workplace. It does happen and it is not acceptable.  Where I currently work I would like to be moved away from some difficult staff members but I fear that this may not be possible.  I just hope the future will be better and get better.  I am sick to death of people who say they are envious of my lifestyle for if th ey were all lined up I would defend myself as best I could.  Nobody else will do it so I will do it!  I have always had to stand up for myself so nothing is new here! 

Aspies tend to internalise difficulties and often a sense of isolation can occur within a work environment when other staff are simply unhelpful or not approachable.  Furthermore society in general seems to not understand through lack of education and awareness of just how Autism grips the person affected by it. There can be a sense of alienation and confusion.  I currently work in two libraries and enjoy one better than the other.  I have also been appointed Occupational Workplace Health & Safety Officer in the Dorothy Hill Physics, Sciences and Engineering Library at the University of Queensland.  I look forward to commencing my duties in this roll and getting as much help as possible to do my best.  I think that anti bullying laws need to be incorporated into Occupational Workplace Health & Safety Laws and the sooner the better. 

I will try and provide updates on my new role as Occupational Workplace Health & Safety Officer should I be able to attend the meeting this afternoon without enduring fear or this being acknowledged within my workshift.  I just want to try and do the right thing.  It is my understanding that the Newman Queensland Government may look into the incorporation of Anti Bullying into Occupational Workplace Health & Safety Laws but again only time will tell. 

Taking things personally

It can often be difficult when you think that everything revolves around you.  You may feel that perhaps you are in some kind of stage production where everything may seem like a conspiracy and your mind over thinks.  I have found that meditation can assist with over thinking.  I try to imagine the sound of a waterfall and draw my mind to this when I need help to sleep.  If my mind wanders, I draw my thoughts back to the waterfall and I find that I can become calmer. 

The biggest challenge within employment or social situations is that often difficult experiences and on the spot defence mechanisms can be debilatating.  For instance you can often sense a feeling of being bullied when someone may be off hand given a work situation or activity and you can bear the brunt of such behaviour and take it personally. Often communication can be differently interpreted and careful explanation required just to make things better understood but not harshly.

I had a meeting yesterday with the line manager and a union representative to talk about some issues I am confronting.  I very much enjoy working in one library as I feel it is like heaven compared to another library which is like hell.  In the latter I feel more stressed, I find more staff difficult to deal with an the internal stairwell causes me grief and sends me into sensory overload.  Not to mention the very slow lift which just makes things so much worse.  I have asked to be transferred out of the hell library and into the heaven library as I find the managment more supportive.  I grow tired of having to conform in the hell library to this stupid 'macho' and 'blokey' atmosphere. Also being told that because I am young that I am supposed to handle a book machine which causes my back some pain at times.  I just don't enjoy the hell library.  I have worked in it for 6 years and as I write this post, I fear that decisions could be made to keep me in the hell library which may also worsen my mental health. 

The meeting went well and some changes are planned which I was told about.  I just hope things get better.  I am currently house sitting and trying to survive at times feels like I am treading water.  I rely on meditation where I can and hope to plan a trip overseas to Turkey and Greece possibly next year to coincide with Anzac Day.  I would like to see where Australian and New Zealand soldiers fought at Gallipoli and more so represent the Autism community by visiting this important site.  I was also told that perhaps I could afford a Greek Villa but who knows, I think I need a bit more money for that one. 

The biggest difficulty Aspies confront is that people do not understand us and because of this we often experience great misunderstanding.  I feel blessed in that where I work and I thanked the manager for this that without her support, I don't think I would have been able to survive in employment as long as I have. Although I was unsuccessful in a Library Assistant position for not putting in enough to address the selection criteria and with the position being highly competitive, I have now worked at UQ for about 6 years now within the University of Queensland Library.   I also mentioned at the meeting yesterday that I hope my employment gives hope to others. 

In the meantime I have a busy period ahead.  I finish the Chapel Hill house sit on Sunday and start the Albany Creek one on Sunday for a month.  The Albany Creek house sit is a bit further from the University of Queensland but it allows me some independence from my elderly parents and them from me.  It also allows me to grow within myself.  I am just tired of critics who through misunderstanding make unhelpful comments and I just wish they would understand.  I will provide more updates later.

Taking on more responsibility

I am currently house sitting through a house sitting agency called Simply Sitting  Although it is very a very responsible duty, I have been offered another house sit at Albany Creek in the northern suburbs of Brisbane.  I spent the first 6 years of my life in Albany Creek, so returning their for 4 weeks will be an interesting revisit.

I am experiencing some levels of anxiety at the moment because my life feels rather uncertain.  I just do not know what is happening in this country and it appears that whomever I talk to, either people are hostile, keep to themselves or simply react to anything I say.  I don't really discuss politics but more so look for help and someone to listen as best I can.  I even approached one of the managers in the UQ Library just to talk things out as I feel very isolated and somewhat lonely at present.  It just feels like everyone has closed their doors and nobody wants to talk anymore. 

It is hard when you think and act and process information in your own way. Added to this, live a life outside the box.  What are you to do and how can people better understand you?  It seems that talking to anyone now they just seem to shirk those whom they consider may be needy.  This look after yourself first and only is not something I am used to nor is it something I particularly like.  In neighbourhoods, neighbours do not talk, and in organisations people remain guarded and defensive.  It is just like that whenever you step outside that you have to be careful not to step on egg shells or walk on minfields.  The only way to cope is to lock yourself away and try to do your own thing.

I really don't know where Australia is going anymore. I feel no connection to this country as people just seem, well most like zombies.  They are not willing to talk or listen to you or anyone who may simply just need someone to listen.  I feel proud in myself that I am able to do house sits as it involves a large amount of responsibility but in terms of a career path, the world seems uncertain. I did apply knowing well in the back of my mind that I would be unsuccessful again in a Library Assistant position. Like with dating, or pursuing expectations that they may not always work out.  So I just try not to have expectations anymore. 

I will be house sitting at Albany Creek shortly and again taking on the important responsibility of looking after pets and property, so I know I must be doing something right?  I also have watched the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Celebrations as best I can on television with the little coverage available.  Despite people's views, the reign of the Queen of 60 years is an achievement.    Finally my parents have informed me that they will be unable to pay for electricity like they once did and will need to cut back.  They are hoping that the solar panels may help in returning power to the grid and preventing the burning of fossil fuels.  Well this is an update for now