Yesterday I did not feel well and spent half the day in bed feeling the effects of a cold and burn out. I am feeling somewhat better today but weak at times. I often feel like some kind of deviant as people always look at me as who I am rather than how I function and this can often be overwhelming to bare at times. I am soon to start house sitting nearby to where I can look after two cats in a big house. The lady who owns it is in her late 70's and I have sat for her last time and am happy to do so again. She goes overseas on her own and I house sit for her while she is away. As I still live with my parents and they with me, we can get on each other's nerves at times. I also detest the way that greedy landlords rent out dwellings which they do not give a crap about charging high rent on low income earners. This would be the reality for me if I did not have the support of my parents. Changes are also happening within the UQ Library as the university librarian has just announced his resignation. I fear everything is going to go back to where it was before. It is no joy working on a ship without a captain. Morale is so low also within the library and people are afraid of losing their jobs. I have also heard recently that with the automation of library shelving that shelving positions will be done away with. It is hard to feel security at times. It is also hard when everything again is changing within the work environment and I really don't know what is going on? I know I am in a menial position but the atmosphere around me does affect my well being within the job. I also was approached by a staff member who said to me 'why don't you angry?". I really do not know what this person meant but times are precarious. At times just keeping a job is a big undertaking. What will happen in the future? How will this carbon tax affect me? Why is it so hard making ends meet and what is the purpose of life? It all becomes so confusing at times. I really feel alone at the moment and people just seem unhappy, tense and angry.
I am realsing that changing the world is not possible so I just have to be content with how things are for the moment. Disappointments are not always my fault but more so in areas I cannot always control. At the moment I am just in survival mode and coping as best I can. Worrying about or being concerned about others is also just draining so I just focus on what I can do and undertake within my own ability. People seem to see me as some kind of deviant that intentionally goes out to make some kind of trouble whereas they do not see just how hard it is to be honest to live the life of a person on the Autism Spectrum. The world is such an uncertain place but this is beyond my control.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Australia and its struggling identity
I am 39 years old and I am still coming to terms with what I call Australia's struggling identity. I argue that Australia is a country confused by its identity and place in the geographic world. For anyone reading this comment they probably think I am making a very sweeping comment and observation about Australia's struggling identity. Australia has a system of government largely borrowed from three different governments. The Westminster model largely from the United Kingdom, Preferential voting from the Scandinavian countries and the Senate borrowed from the American system originally Greek of course meaning (House of Elders). For Australia to become a republic this would be a mammoth undertaking. Not only would the current system need to change but also the state governments. Merely swapping a ceremonial role of the current Governor General to a President would require significant and important change over and accrual of powers. It is very dangerous to just remove the Governor General and replace this person with a President. Mainly because what powers would the President have and would they be party aligned even if chosen by the parliament? The only real proposal that seems to have any merit is the one devised by Malcolm Turnbull but again a lot more work needs to be done.
Australia seems to be overwhelmed by its size and affected by its remoteness. There seems to be the government versus the people but no authority figure with the prime minister seeming to have more power. Despite it being a model that still relies on a foreign head of state, there is a certain level of stability and protection within the role of the Governor General. The Governor General should not be a political and represents the monarch within some capacities but also represents Australia also. I think the Governor General's position is an important but yet unknown one by most Australians.
When I have been overseas, the distances between travel is much less. Whereas in Australia we have very large distances and often large areas of nothingness. I think we are subconsciously aware of these factors and this has become entrenched in our psyche. We see ourselves as not part of the rest of the world as we are too far from it and those of us who have not traveled may not really understand what I mean exactly. When you land and return to Australia it is virtually like being on a foreign landscape and planet. The trees are different, the houses are different, the climate different etc. I have also noticed how much slower people are in talking, thinking, acting and walking. You really have to notice it.
Australia is losing a lot of its identity as I think Australians saw themselves as settlers and not innovators. They did what they best could to survive and had not time to look into the arts, poetry or creativity etc. I mean what can you largely do when you are surrounded or witness desert in the centre. The desert goes on and on and Europeans Australians struggle to live in it. It is a no go zone for us and we prefer to remain in the cities. I think our mindset is perhaps still largely European but my thoughts are probably different as I think more in abstract like an Aspie. I question things a lot and I am constantly processing information in my mind. I work out why things are the way they are here and why Australia thinks and acts differently to the rest of the world. Australia is a very large island and if you see the centre of it you realise just how vast it is as a country. Ask yourself does Australia have a struggling identity? Are Australians really a true reflection of a land foreign to them or are we really misplaced Europeans trying to make sense of the place?
Australia seems to be overwhelmed by its size and affected by its remoteness. There seems to be the government versus the people but no authority figure with the prime minister seeming to have more power. Despite it being a model that still relies on a foreign head of state, there is a certain level of stability and protection within the role of the Governor General. The Governor General should not be a political and represents the monarch within some capacities but also represents Australia also. I think the Governor General's position is an important but yet unknown one by most Australians.
When I have been overseas, the distances between travel is much less. Whereas in Australia we have very large distances and often large areas of nothingness. I think we are subconsciously aware of these factors and this has become entrenched in our psyche. We see ourselves as not part of the rest of the world as we are too far from it and those of us who have not traveled may not really understand what I mean exactly. When you land and return to Australia it is virtually like being on a foreign landscape and planet. The trees are different, the houses are different, the climate different etc. I have also noticed how much slower people are in talking, thinking, acting and walking. You really have to notice it.
Australia is losing a lot of its identity as I think Australians saw themselves as settlers and not innovators. They did what they best could to survive and had not time to look into the arts, poetry or creativity etc. I mean what can you largely do when you are surrounded or witness desert in the centre. The desert goes on and on and Europeans Australians struggle to live in it. It is a no go zone for us and we prefer to remain in the cities. I think our mindset is perhaps still largely European but my thoughts are probably different as I think more in abstract like an Aspie. I question things a lot and I am constantly processing information in my mind. I work out why things are the way they are here and why Australia thinks and acts differently to the rest of the world. Australia is a very large island and if you see the centre of it you realise just how vast it is as a country. Ask yourself does Australia have a struggling identity? Are Australians really a true reflection of a land foreign to them or are we really misplaced Europeans trying to make sense of the place?
Why is it always my fault!?
I always feel that I have to be on the attack. I know certain individuals who hate my guts and want to have nothing to do with me. It is always one sided. I am always hurting them but when it comes to them hurting me, nobody wants to listen. I am concerned about my future. I just cannot be myself and I am constantly criticised and misunderstood for supposedly not trying hard enough. I am 39 years old and I cannot live an independent lifestyle because the cost of living is so high. The federal government also chooses to ignore disability so what hope do I have? I live within this tribal culture which insists that everything is one way. I cannot be who I am without people making false assumptions and choosing to not have anything to do with me. At times I wonder why do I go on living? People just don't understand me and no matter what I say, think or feel I am just told or criticised as such. I just need help and I am not getting it! People just don't get me and are so cruel. At times I have thought of how can I escape this situation? What is the point of living if whatever I do or say just causes me to be further criticised? My parents are getting older and I think they are fearful of what will happen to me after they pass on. Will I be alone and I will have nobody to care or look after me? I just don't know what to do at times and I feel I live in a very intolerant society which does not give a stuff about disabilities.
I just cannot be myself. People want me to be like them and think like they do but I think differently. Do they not see this?! People say that I have hurt them but how many times have they hurt me? Do I have a say at all?! It is always my fault and yes I may have hurt certain individuals but yes they have hurt me also. They do not want to have anything to do with me. They hate my guts and they feel I have offended them just by being who I am. This is not fair nor is it right. I even remember recalling a panic attack in which I saw such people around me as I laying dying. I remember their words "oh well it is good he is going anyway as nobody really understood him". I just feel alone in terms of my family situation. They need to make an effort and stop thinking that everything is just one way. Luckily I have had some correspondence a family connection here in Brisbane whom is able to understand some shared experiences. Must it always be my fault? I just do not know how much longer I can go on living like this. It sickens me the whole situation. I am not the person people perceive me to be and I wish people would stop trying to insist or make me neuro typical because I am not. How would you like it if I forced you to change to my way of thinking? How would you find this? Then stop doing it to me. I don't like it and nor am I comfortable with it. This government needs to listen to any information which is available concerning the disability productivity commission. Disability can no longer be ignored. Please start to understand the Autism Spectrum better because pressuring people who are different to conform only stresses them. We need more and greater understanding and awareness. This is what I am trying to do do and feel at times that I am constantly hitting my head against a brick wall. I cannot live on my own without being totally squeezed and drained financially and added to this, I just struggle into trying to fit into your society which I think is largely unfair and discriminates. Prime Minister Gillard try to understand if you have a heart because people out there are desperately crying out for help and you need to listen! Also Tony Abbott leader of the opposition listen and stop mud slinging as I am tired of it. Yes I need help and I am trying very hard to get it. Think also of some of the other Aspies also who are struggling to find help also. Why does this country have to be like this?
I just cannot be myself. People want me to be like them and think like they do but I think differently. Do they not see this?! People say that I have hurt them but how many times have they hurt me? Do I have a say at all?! It is always my fault and yes I may have hurt certain individuals but yes they have hurt me also. They do not want to have anything to do with me. They hate my guts and they feel I have offended them just by being who I am. This is not fair nor is it right. I even remember recalling a panic attack in which I saw such people around me as I laying dying. I remember their words "oh well it is good he is going anyway as nobody really understood him". I just feel alone in terms of my family situation. They need to make an effort and stop thinking that everything is just one way. Luckily I have had some correspondence a family connection here in Brisbane whom is able to understand some shared experiences. Must it always be my fault? I just do not know how much longer I can go on living like this. It sickens me the whole situation. I am not the person people perceive me to be and I wish people would stop trying to insist or make me neuro typical because I am not. How would you like it if I forced you to change to my way of thinking? How would you find this? Then stop doing it to me. I don't like it and nor am I comfortable with it. This government needs to listen to any information which is available concerning the disability productivity commission. Disability can no longer be ignored. Please start to understand the Autism Spectrum better because pressuring people who are different to conform only stresses them. We need more and greater understanding and awareness. This is what I am trying to do do and feel at times that I am constantly hitting my head against a brick wall. I cannot live on my own without being totally squeezed and drained financially and added to this, I just struggle into trying to fit into your society which I think is largely unfair and discriminates. Prime Minister Gillard try to understand if you have a heart because people out there are desperately crying out for help and you need to listen! Also Tony Abbott leader of the opposition listen and stop mud slinging as I am tired of it. Yes I need help and I am trying very hard to get it. Think also of some of the other Aspies also who are struggling to find help also. Why does this country have to be like this?
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Books sales to Aspies Australia and abroad
I thought I would provide some statistics of adults on the Autism Spectrum who have purchased my book "I Want To Work An Asperger Story". I thought I would provide some statistics of where books have sold and where adults on the Autism reside. Books can still be purchased through my website http://www.garryburge.com via the homepage
Northern Ireland 1
New York 1
North Carolina 1
Belgium 1
Ireland 1
Australia 8
England 4
Rejections 1
Total Sales 17
I encourage more adults to purchase the book if they can as I believe the book will help you. The purchase of books by persons not on the Autism Spectrum has represented the highest figures but amongst adults on the Autism Spectrum the figures above reflect how many Aspies have purchased it. I would like to take the opportunity of thanking personally the adults from Australia and abroad and I hope the book has been able to help you.
Non Aspies
Australia 64
England 5
Ireland 2
United States 2
Canada 1
New Zealand 1
Book Donations 16
Non inclusions 3 (Books rejected, not sent back and lost etc)
Asperger Services Australia book sales I am not really aware of so these I cannot include.
Northern Ireland 1
New York 1
North Carolina 1
Belgium 1
Ireland 1
Australia 8
England 4
Rejections 1
Total Sales 17
I encourage more adults to purchase the book if they can as I believe the book will help you. The purchase of books by persons not on the Autism Spectrum has represented the highest figures but amongst adults on the Autism Spectrum the figures above reflect how many Aspies have purchased it. I would like to take the opportunity of thanking personally the adults from Australia and abroad and I hope the book has been able to help you.
Non Aspies
Australia 64
England 5
Ireland 2
United States 2
Canada 1
New Zealand 1
Book Donations 16
Non inclusions 3 (Books rejected, not sent back and lost etc)
Asperger Services Australia book sales I am not really aware of so these I cannot include.
The eyes of an Aspie
I think research needs to go into the studying the eyes of an Aspie. Aspies may tend to process and use their eyes differently to other people. Maybe the reason why Aspies can also have problems with light sensitivity and processing information. I have noticed that Aspies tend to have fixed eye stares or lack of dilation when meeting with them. For Aspies the greatest assimilation of information may be through the eyes but this in itself may occur differently to other people. I think more research is required into the eyes of Aspies. A person on the Autism Spectrum can also be wrongly perceived as shifty or uninterested because we may find it hard to stare directly into the eyes of other people and also a major problem with job interviews and socialising? Just my thoughts anyway
Please watch this video clip of Gary Numan who is supposedly Aspie and look at his eyes and you may realise what I am talking about.
Please watch this video clip of Gary Numan who is supposedly Aspie and look at his eyes and you may realise what I am talking about.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Why hierarchy?
I often have a tug a war with hierarchy. When I do something to upset it, I know the consequences. Why then does it exist if it is proven to fail or be insufficient? Hierarchy I believe exists to control NT's (Neuro Typicals) but Aspies see everyone as different. A person who is a manager just sits in a chair in a closed office and to get something done why not tell the person at the top as it involves less people to deal with. Hierarchy is just an annoyance. Working in a hierarchical structure is very maddening at times. It requires 5 people to change a light bulb or to report a fault in the workplace. Why are NT's so controlled by it then? I think unlike Aspies, NT's feel that a person in authority provides them with a sense of direction. They want someone to tell them what to do or to obtain permission of some kind. Aspies however will just go ahead and do it. An example being an issue with a machine that is not working properly. The person at the counter who I am supposed to tell is busy and they will probably forget, couldn't be bothered and not have time anyway. So why not just report it to the manager as after all it has to be reported to this person anyhow? Aspies and hierarchy just feel like they are at battle with each other. It is difficult to actually tell someone above you of something they may be doing that is wrong because hierarchy demands that you can't. It seems pointless as why not just tell the person? The very nature of hierarchy just seems pointless. You don't know when you have done something wrong until it hits you like headache.
I think NT's like to be controlled whereas Aspies like to be directed. Once a routine is established an Aspie becomes professional within it but once this is broken anxiety goes beyond the ceiling. Hierarchy is just confusing but I guess it is just some control mechanism designed to keep unruly people in place.
I think NT's like to be controlled whereas Aspies like to be directed. Once a routine is established an Aspie becomes professional within it but once this is broken anxiety goes beyond the ceiling. Hierarchy is just confusing but I guess it is just some control mechanism designed to keep unruly people in place.
What it's like to hit a brick wall constantly
Awareness of the Autism Spectrum especially as an adult and in adults seems to ebb and flow. Sometimes I feel like I am making progress and others, I just feel like I am getting nowhere. It sometimes can just be so maddening. I virtually find at times that my stress levels peak at very high range and I am overcome with anxiety. If sleep is a problem then I have to take medication which I personally do not like taking as it affects some ways of my thinking and performance.
Apart from that I constantly feel at a loss in being understood by others around me. I am told on occasions that I just need to try harder but is this the answer to solve the problem? No it is a lot more broad than that. If I had of tried harder which I have done over and over again in my life then I would have gotten further in life socially. I often discuss what I term the second rate citizen feeling. This is because people are largely unaware of the difficulties I have socially. Whereas they can make friends, enter relationships and enhance job opportunities, I find myself struggling. Weekends are especially lonely and I have really no friends to go places with. I virtually stay at home and use Facebook as a means of socialising which I know is not healthy but what else can I do? It just seems so difficult.
This afternoon I felt deflated and angry. I wonder why this productivity commission into disability is being ignored by the Australian Federal Government. Also for a person who has sensory, sound, and issues to crowds is attending a function where I would be pushed around and face crows of people to not meet the minister but her secretary worth it? I just don't think so. I need better representation and although only my father would be able to attend, there are other important and key people who could attend also. I feel like I have let adults on the Autism Spectrum down by not attending but I think the major political parties need to get serious about disability. What can be done? I wonder if it will ever be achieved? Tomorrow I meet with a friend who trained me when I worked at Qleave. I have a sufficient network through employment I have undertaken but having the energy to constantly keep up with lobbying is difficult. I am pleased to hear that Asperger Services Australia is going national. This is good and hopefully make a difference. Tonight it is time to relax. Please remember to visit my website www.garryburge.com for updates on my support, services and advocacy.
Apart from that I constantly feel at a loss in being understood by others around me. I am told on occasions that I just need to try harder but is this the answer to solve the problem? No it is a lot more broad than that. If I had of tried harder which I have done over and over again in my life then I would have gotten further in life socially. I often discuss what I term the second rate citizen feeling. This is because people are largely unaware of the difficulties I have socially. Whereas they can make friends, enter relationships and enhance job opportunities, I find myself struggling. Weekends are especially lonely and I have really no friends to go places with. I virtually stay at home and use Facebook as a means of socialising which I know is not healthy but what else can I do? It just seems so difficult.
This afternoon I felt deflated and angry. I wonder why this productivity commission into disability is being ignored by the Australian Federal Government. Also for a person who has sensory, sound, and issues to crowds is attending a function where I would be pushed around and face crows of people to not meet the minister but her secretary worth it? I just don't think so. I need better representation and although only my father would be able to attend, there are other important and key people who could attend also. I feel like I have let adults on the Autism Spectrum down by not attending but I think the major political parties need to get serious about disability. What can be done? I wonder if it will ever be achieved? Tomorrow I meet with a friend who trained me when I worked at Qleave. I have a sufficient network through employment I have undertaken but having the energy to constantly keep up with lobbying is difficult. I am pleased to hear that Asperger Services Australia is going national. This is good and hopefully make a difference. Tonight it is time to relax. Please remember to visit my website www.garryburge.com for updates on my support, services and advocacy.
I have serious concerns
Yesterday I read an article which indicates that the prime minister of Australia is planning to ignore key measures which were recommended by the Australian Productivity Commission into disability in Australia. I have also declined to attend and apologised in that I will not be attending the community cabinet session organised by the Gillard Government. My meeting was originally to be with Jenny Macklin but I was informed instead that I could only meet with her secretary. I was also informed that Asperger Services Australia would not be able to attend the meeting. In all honesty I just wondered if it was really worth it? Without back up and key individuals as well as my father not being able to attend, I just don't think I really have the energy nor face the humiliation of just not being fully listened to.
I am increasingly feeling isolated and misunderstood in a society which seems to not want to nor care about persons with a disability. Also I feel that the federal and state governments are seriously letting people down. I heard yesterday on the news that former Labor Premier Peter Beattie is receiving a $1000 a day job. This is an outrage because in Queensland we have so many families struggling as it is and with this unplanned Carbon Tax soon to become a reality, I seriously am concerned about struggling families and more importantly Australia's economic outlook in the years to come. We are fast on the road to becoming a third world country where the cost of living is going to be beyond the basic family's budget.
I am very concerned about this current Federal Labor government. Yesterday I contacted a local mp's office and was informed that many people are angry and concerned and they hope something will happen soon. In my opinion it is not accountable and I think it is very concerning. Also any authority figure which represents a traditional one and that may not act in the interests of the Australian nation is seriously concerning. I really think honest people and respectable people are fast becoming no longer heard and this is alarming. What can be done? Also what about a representative who has indulged in behaviour which if authentic is covered up then what then is honesty? I feel many people are angry with the current situation and I believe they are concerned about their own livelihood when they struggle to make ends meet. If PM Gillard is serious about disability then she should look into the findings of the productivity commission better and do something about disability! I just feel powerless also in that nobody really understands me as a person either. I find people are becoming increasingly insular and nobody seems to really care about each other as people. Everyone has an opinion and we are living in very perilous times. I really think that all major parties need to consider the interests of the people first and not serve their own interests. I think certain individuals have served their own interests by letting people down whom they are supposed to really serve. I just wonder if things will change? Like many people I am struggling as best I can to survive and I live largely in socially isolation and people around me do not understand. I just feel at a total loss to know what to do and wonder if disability reform will ever happen in this country. People just don't seem to understand! Whatever happened to Professor Patrick McGorry who advocated for mental health? If nobody listens to him then Dr Tony Attwood and others including myself what hope do we have? It seriously is concerning. People just don't get it and I am continually frustrated in a world that simply does not understand! I really wonder what the whole point of existing is when I do all of this work and I just never seem to get anywhere. This world is really a mess and I hope things change for the better of humanity otherwise things are going to get worse!
Mental Health is also a major concern. People cannot just be doled out medication to just deal with loneliness when in all honesty services should be made available to them.
I am increasingly feeling isolated and misunderstood in a society which seems to not want to nor care about persons with a disability. Also I feel that the federal and state governments are seriously letting people down. I heard yesterday on the news that former Labor Premier Peter Beattie is receiving a $1000 a day job. This is an outrage because in Queensland we have so many families struggling as it is and with this unplanned Carbon Tax soon to become a reality, I seriously am concerned about struggling families and more importantly Australia's economic outlook in the years to come. We are fast on the road to becoming a third world country where the cost of living is going to be beyond the basic family's budget.
I am very concerned about this current Federal Labor government. Yesterday I contacted a local mp's office and was informed that many people are angry and concerned and they hope something will happen soon. In my opinion it is not accountable and I think it is very concerning. Also any authority figure which represents a traditional one and that may not act in the interests of the Australian nation is seriously concerning. I really think honest people and respectable people are fast becoming no longer heard and this is alarming. What can be done? Also what about a representative who has indulged in behaviour which if authentic is covered up then what then is honesty? I feel many people are angry with the current situation and I believe they are concerned about their own livelihood when they struggle to make ends meet. If PM Gillard is serious about disability then she should look into the findings of the productivity commission better and do something about disability! I just feel powerless also in that nobody really understands me as a person either. I find people are becoming increasingly insular and nobody seems to really care about each other as people. Everyone has an opinion and we are living in very perilous times. I really think that all major parties need to consider the interests of the people first and not serve their own interests. I think certain individuals have served their own interests by letting people down whom they are supposed to really serve. I just wonder if things will change? Like many people I am struggling as best I can to survive and I live largely in socially isolation and people around me do not understand. I just feel at a total loss to know what to do and wonder if disability reform will ever happen in this country. People just don't seem to understand! Whatever happened to Professor Patrick McGorry who advocated for mental health? If nobody listens to him then Dr Tony Attwood and others including myself what hope do we have? It seriously is concerning. People just don't get it and I am continually frustrated in a world that simply does not understand! I really wonder what the whole point of existing is when I do all of this work and I just never seem to get anywhere. This world is really a mess and I hope things change for the better of humanity otherwise things are going to get worse!
Mental Health is also a major concern. People cannot just be doled out medication to just deal with loneliness when in all honesty services should be made available to them.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
When your mind plays tricks on you updates to GarryBurge.Com
With a mind that constantly will analyze information it can also read too much into events and situations that just simply do not exist. As people are not always clear with their intentions or plans, my mind can sometimes assume things incorrectly. For instance I may misinterpret or misconstrue and event because I have received too little or not enough information. This creates difficult when there is no routine or reliable outcome to make things clearer.
When I was a student at university, I find it difficult to make friends. I often tried too hard to be friend people and scared them off by being too intense. I just could not understand what I was doing because I thought making a friend involved saying hello and trying to find similar interests which were the same as the other persons. I realised I needed to learn how to play a sport and chose tennis. When I first asked a person to play tennis with me as I thought the procedure of hitting the tennis ball over the net was easy, I found out that it was much harder. I embarrassed myself even when the person tried to help me to compensate for my poor co-ordination which ended up in a total disaster. I also attempted golf taking a few chunks here and there on the golf course. I just simply struggled in every way possible to try and fit in and be accepted. It just was not easy!
I find my mind sometimes reads into situations too much. I can totally assume the wrong thing and receive incorrect information. For instance if a person turns up late I wonder why they are not there exactly on time and try to remember a 15 minute leeway principle. After this period, I just think they have forgot and sometimes feel let down. I am not good with judging times and find myself at a person's place or event too early. I just fear being late. This applies to work also. I hate being late and especially stuck in traffic. That is the worst of all experiences.
Please note I have also updated my website with some slightly new information. I would encourage you too look at it www.garryburge.com
When I was a student at university, I find it difficult to make friends. I often tried too hard to be friend people and scared them off by being too intense. I just could not understand what I was doing because I thought making a friend involved saying hello and trying to find similar interests which were the same as the other persons. I realised I needed to learn how to play a sport and chose tennis. When I first asked a person to play tennis with me as I thought the procedure of hitting the tennis ball over the net was easy, I found out that it was much harder. I embarrassed myself even when the person tried to help me to compensate for my poor co-ordination which ended up in a total disaster. I also attempted golf taking a few chunks here and there on the golf course. I just simply struggled in every way possible to try and fit in and be accepted. It just was not easy!
I find my mind sometimes reads into situations too much. I can totally assume the wrong thing and receive incorrect information. For instance if a person turns up late I wonder why they are not there exactly on time and try to remember a 15 minute leeway principle. After this period, I just think they have forgot and sometimes feel let down. I am not good with judging times and find myself at a person's place or event too early. I just fear being late. This applies to work also. I hate being late and especially stuck in traffic. That is the worst of all experiences.
Please note I have also updated my website with some slightly new information. I would encourage you too look at it www.garryburge.com
Pushing myself from university
Study at university did not come easy for me. I failed first year and was excluded for one year. Not because I was lazy but because I was not up to academic standard. I did not give up, I persevered and made myself understand the requirements of academic course work. I taught myself how to write assignments and sit for exams. I also worked out a technique to get over the pass mark. No matter how much effort and energy I applied, I managed to get through. I really get annoyed at people who say that people who do Bachelor of Arts Degrees do it because they have nothing better to do or anybody can get through a BA degree. I think people who judge like this are narrow minded people. They need to think more before they open their mouths and make such ignorant and unfair comments. Some people can be so smug and rude when they do not realise it.
Working is not easy at times. It can be mentally draining and difficult but I try my best to survive as best I can. Every day can be a struggle but people should admire the few Aspies in employment for even though we may do common or menial jobs, just simply surviving is a big achievement.
Working is not easy at times. It can be mentally draining and difficult but I try my best to survive as best I can. Every day can be a struggle but people should admire the few Aspies in employment for even though we may do common or menial jobs, just simply surviving is a big achievement.
Why Australia is such an unproductive country
What does it feel like when you ask or more importantly you pay someone to do something and they do not turn up or change sometimes on their own terms? It is not a very good and efficient experience. Also why is it that when you criticse Australian culture in areas where it is weak that people become defensive and come out with this crap "mate it is not Aussie to criticise Australia" or "Australian's don't like to be criticised etc". The only way a culture is going to improve and become more efficient is that it has to listen to criticism and either take it on board or try to change it. I find Australia and more particularly Australians a backward thinking group of people. Not all as some have been able to broaden their minds but others simply exist in this defensive and hostile culture.
I think the biggest problem with most Australians is that when you make personal criticism or you dare to think that you are cut down instantly. People go on the defense and attack or try and think it is their place to conform you rather than to try and understand. It just seems to be the way of things here. In work environments I wonder why good people are so few and far between. Good managers are rare but the ones who are in this position and exercise good leadership should be supported and assisted. This is the way I see it anyhow.
It amazes me that when you pay someone to do a service either they don't show up or turn up late. Why do they do this?! If you are paying someone surely they should do the right thing by the person paying them and provide a good service? This does not always seem to happen. I think Australians only go so far and then they could not be bothered to put in the extra effort. Maybe a sweeping generalization but efficiency, merit and achievement should be admired in this country instead of successful and hardworking people being put down by this stupid and pathetic tall poppy syndrome that exists.
Hard working people should be admired and punctuality encouraged which is all I have to say for the moment.
I think the biggest problem with most Australians is that when you make personal criticism or you dare to think that you are cut down instantly. People go on the defense and attack or try and think it is their place to conform you rather than to try and understand. It just seems to be the way of things here. In work environments I wonder why good people are so few and far between. Good managers are rare but the ones who are in this position and exercise good leadership should be supported and assisted. This is the way I see it anyhow.
It amazes me that when you pay someone to do a service either they don't show up or turn up late. Why do they do this?! If you are paying someone surely they should do the right thing by the person paying them and provide a good service? This does not always seem to happen. I think Australians only go so far and then they could not be bothered to put in the extra effort. Maybe a sweeping generalization but efficiency, merit and achievement should be admired in this country instead of successful and hardworking people being put down by this stupid and pathetic tall poppy syndrome that exists.
Hard working people should be admired and punctuality encouraged which is all I have to say for the moment.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Why I would like to live in Germany
I have been to Germany on a couple of occasions in my life and I have to say that I am impressed by German culture. I like the way Germany is an industrious and methodical nation. People work hard and furthermore things get done. Inefficiency is often annoying as well as lazy and bad attitudes. For some reason I seem to relate to German people and having visited Germany twice, I found their work ethic and attitude to life good. As an Aspie, I find that I can connect to German people as they also seem serious about doing things properly and being on time. How many times do you get sick of wanting something done and it is never done properly or the person needs to be pushed more to get something done? German people also seem to ensure that something is done properly also.
What concerns me about Australia is that it is quickly becoming a third world country. Australian's are complacent and the whole system of government and infrastructure seems to be difficult to change. Infrastructure in Australia is very poor and the standard of education is on its way down also. When you get young adults coming into a library and displaying poor attitudes and very poor research skills, then you seriously have to be concerned. Bureaucrats have succeeded over the years in stuffing up and wrongfully tampering with the education system which is now fractured and failing to equip people of the future. There is more interest in computer skills than there is on content.
When I visited Germany, I found that I could be understood by the people I spoke to. They had a sensible attitude on life compared to this white trash culture that is becoming more wide spread in Australia. This culture takes away a person's ability to think and causes them to be a walking zombie. I find the immigration process discriminates against anyone willing also to relocate to another country. I would not mind working in Germany for a short period to see if I liked it but to get or enhance my education, I do not trust the fractured education system we have in Australia. It concerns me when people cannot spell, think or even begin to understand the basic fundamentals of mainstream education. Also this Carbon Tax I think has been rushed and poorly planned. It will further cause Australia to become a third world country. Already the cost of living in Australia is expensive but the cost of electricity and air travel will be seriously affected. Australia's is disadvantaged by its geographical location with the rest of the world but what is now considered a long haul journey will further be damaged by Australia being seen as a no go zone. It will simply just be too expensive! I think the Carbon Tax will only fill the coffers of governments who have no control over their expenditures. I think Australians need to think more as they are fast losing their identity. I may be wrong but Germany seems a proud nation as well as Austria also which I have been to. Sure they may be suffering with the Euro but Germans seem to have a good work ethic and a responsible attitude. That's how I see it anyhow.
What concerns me about Australia is that it is quickly becoming a third world country. Australian's are complacent and the whole system of government and infrastructure seems to be difficult to change. Infrastructure in Australia is very poor and the standard of education is on its way down also. When you get young adults coming into a library and displaying poor attitudes and very poor research skills, then you seriously have to be concerned. Bureaucrats have succeeded over the years in stuffing up and wrongfully tampering with the education system which is now fractured and failing to equip people of the future. There is more interest in computer skills than there is on content.
When I visited Germany, I found that I could be understood by the people I spoke to. They had a sensible attitude on life compared to this white trash culture that is becoming more wide spread in Australia. This culture takes away a person's ability to think and causes them to be a walking zombie. I find the immigration process discriminates against anyone willing also to relocate to another country. I would not mind working in Germany for a short period to see if I liked it but to get or enhance my education, I do not trust the fractured education system we have in Australia. It concerns me when people cannot spell, think or even begin to understand the basic fundamentals of mainstream education. Also this Carbon Tax I think has been rushed and poorly planned. It will further cause Australia to become a third world country. Already the cost of living in Australia is expensive but the cost of electricity and air travel will be seriously affected. Australia's is disadvantaged by its geographical location with the rest of the world but what is now considered a long haul journey will further be damaged by Australia being seen as a no go zone. It will simply just be too expensive! I think the Carbon Tax will only fill the coffers of governments who have no control over their expenditures. I think Australians need to think more as they are fast losing their identity. I may be wrong but Germany seems a proud nation as well as Austria also which I have been to. Sure they may be suffering with the Euro but Germans seem to have a good work ethic and a responsible attitude. That's how I see it anyhow.
Review of the movie Limitless
Imagine if you were offered a drug which would greatly enhance your brain's thinking ability from 40% to more? Just think of the opportunities and possibilities that would be available? Well if you watch the movie released this year called "Limitless" such possibilities and realities are explored.
Set in New York a man Eddie Morra is leading the life of an unknown person and in the grips of poverty. He comes into contact with the drug and reluctant at first he swallows it. Suddenly he finds himself achieving more than his own capabilities. He creates wealth, increases his social circles and excels in ways that is difficult for most of us to imagine. The drug NZT allows Eddie to live a life on the edge. He makes money and comes into contact with Carl Van Loon played by Robert Deniro. Van Loon is a high flyer and Eddie maintains greater exposure with him. He is mixing in higher circles and suddenly is the centre of attention while he creates wealth and exceeds his abilities from his previously humble existence.
I am not going to give too much about the movie away as you need to see it for yourself but it does raise some positives and negatives with such an existence. Does taking such a drug have consequences? What if it gets into the wrong hands? How far can a person go in a state of ecstasy? Is a person thinking as themselves or are they being controlled by a mind enhancing substance? I do not support the use of taking drugs but the movie does highlight the possibilities if the human brain is able to achieve more than what it can at the moment. Furthermore what if it gets into the wrong hands which can be found in the movie? Can it cause danger and the problems associated with addiction?
I would encourage anyone to watch the movie for themselves and see what you make of it. I have included a link to the video trailer to this post. So see what you think and perhaps make comments. The movie also highlights some of the abilities that persons on the Autism Spectrum have such as areas of the brain which seem to work less in non Autistic people. You need to see the movie for yourself.
Set in New York a man Eddie Morra is leading the life of an unknown person and in the grips of poverty. He comes into contact with the drug and reluctant at first he swallows it. Suddenly he finds himself achieving more than his own capabilities. He creates wealth, increases his social circles and excels in ways that is difficult for most of us to imagine. The drug NZT allows Eddie to live a life on the edge. He makes money and comes into contact with Carl Van Loon played by Robert Deniro. Van Loon is a high flyer and Eddie maintains greater exposure with him. He is mixing in higher circles and suddenly is the centre of attention while he creates wealth and exceeds his abilities from his previously humble existence.
I am not going to give too much about the movie away as you need to see it for yourself but it does raise some positives and negatives with such an existence. Does taking such a drug have consequences? What if it gets into the wrong hands? How far can a person go in a state of ecstasy? Is a person thinking as themselves or are they being controlled by a mind enhancing substance? I do not support the use of taking drugs but the movie does highlight the possibilities if the human brain is able to achieve more than what it can at the moment. Furthermore what if it gets into the wrong hands which can be found in the movie? Can it cause danger and the problems associated with addiction?
I would encourage anyone to watch the movie for themselves and see what you make of it. I have included a link to the video trailer to this post. So see what you think and perhaps make comments. The movie also highlights some of the abilities that persons on the Autism Spectrum have such as areas of the brain which seem to work less in non Autistic people. You need to see the movie for yourself.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Autism Spectrum and the diagnosis issue.
I am somewhat concerned with the so called diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome and how I find some persons on the Autism Spectrum selfish and ungrateful to those who try and help them. I have learned that I now advocate for myself and not others because no matter how hard I try and others also, some are never grateful and I do not think try hard enough. I have received on occasions nothing but abuse or rudeness on the part of persons on the Autism Spectrum and as hard as it is, sometimes you have to be strong and try very hard to get on with non Autistic people in this world. I am personally disappointed by the criticisms made of certain people who go out of their way to raise awareness within the wider community. For instance Dr Tony Attwood, Asperger Services Australia and others. I am beginning to sadly see some persons on the Autism Spectrum as largely selfish and dysfunctional. If they want to succeed in the world then they have to make an effort. I am saying it as it is.
Persons on the Autism Spectrum have to learn to not criticise or attack persons that try to go out of their way to help them. In my own life I had to work hard to get to where I am and sure the world is not easy, it is not easy for anyone but using bad behaviours is no excuse or just saying you have AS and you cannot do things. Such behaviours are clearly unacceptable. There are people who are working very hard in this world to raise awareness and provide support within the Autism Community and I know of some Aspies who are going out of their way and doing a damn hard job. These people need your support. The work of Autism Works is certainly one such place and Specialisterne and others. Sure you may not like software testing but if you want a job then you are going to have to have a go at it otherwise you will remain unemployed. I question the growing diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome because I think it covers a broad spectrum. When I was diagnosed by Dr Tony Attwood in 1998, I learned to deal with and cope as best I could with the diagnosis and trying to come to terms with it today. If persons on the Autism Spectrum want to work then like everyone they have to exercise a certain level of self discipline. They also have to learn to not be selfish and attack or criticise other people who may be trying to help them. I have dealt with this personally and when someone is trying to help me, I am grateful. Also there needs to stop being this anti NT (neuro typical) attitude. For persons on the Autism Spectrum if they want to get on in the world they have to work with NT's and realise not all of them are bad etc. I do believe that more awareness and acceptance of the Autism Spectrum is required but I am not going to allow criticisms of person like Dr Attwood and others. A lot of hard work has gone into organising next year's event by Asperger Services Australia and they should be commended for their hard work. If a person on the Autism Spectrum wants help then they have to get off their behinds and try and seek it. The world is difficult but finding help is possible. I understand all persons on the Autism Spectrum are different and if some people do not appreciate the advocacy work I do then I am sorry but this is your own problem and you have to learn to deal with it. I have worked hard to get to where I am today and no I am not perfect but I am not going to simply use AS as an excuse in saying I am unable to do certain things in my life. Holding down a job is not easy but also it is the responsibility of any individual whether they have AS or not to turn up to to work, be on time, and try their best to do their job. If you want a job and be employable then you have to exercise and implement self discipline. Just be grateful for those people within the community who work on your behalf and realise that some non Autistic people try very hard to help you. I am saying this bluntly as selfish, critical, and rude behaviours are not acceptable even if they are used as a so called symptom of AS. Having AS is a means of constantly learning from your mistakes and trying to improve and once again I am trying to do this and no I am not perfect but I am damn well try. The world cannot all be one way and using dysfunctional behaviour as an excuse is clearly not on.
Persons on the Autism Spectrum have to learn to not criticise or attack persons that try to go out of their way to help them. In my own life I had to work hard to get to where I am and sure the world is not easy, it is not easy for anyone but using bad behaviours is no excuse or just saying you have AS and you cannot do things. Such behaviours are clearly unacceptable. There are people who are working very hard in this world to raise awareness and provide support within the Autism Community and I know of some Aspies who are going out of their way and doing a damn hard job. These people need your support. The work of Autism Works is certainly one such place and Specialisterne and others. Sure you may not like software testing but if you want a job then you are going to have to have a go at it otherwise you will remain unemployed. I question the growing diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome because I think it covers a broad spectrum. When I was diagnosed by Dr Tony Attwood in 1998, I learned to deal with and cope as best I could with the diagnosis and trying to come to terms with it today. If persons on the Autism Spectrum want to work then like everyone they have to exercise a certain level of self discipline. They also have to learn to not be selfish and attack or criticise other people who may be trying to help them. I have dealt with this personally and when someone is trying to help me, I am grateful. Also there needs to stop being this anti NT (neuro typical) attitude. For persons on the Autism Spectrum if they want to get on in the world they have to work with NT's and realise not all of them are bad etc. I do believe that more awareness and acceptance of the Autism Spectrum is required but I am not going to allow criticisms of person like Dr Attwood and others. A lot of hard work has gone into organising next year's event by Asperger Services Australia and they should be commended for their hard work. If a person on the Autism Spectrum wants help then they have to get off their behinds and try and seek it. The world is difficult but finding help is possible. I understand all persons on the Autism Spectrum are different and if some people do not appreciate the advocacy work I do then I am sorry but this is your own problem and you have to learn to deal with it. I have worked hard to get to where I am today and no I am not perfect but I am not going to simply use AS as an excuse in saying I am unable to do certain things in my life. Holding down a job is not easy but also it is the responsibility of any individual whether they have AS or not to turn up to to work, be on time, and try their best to do their job. If you want a job and be employable then you have to exercise and implement self discipline. Just be grateful for those people within the community who work on your behalf and realise that some non Autistic people try very hard to help you. I am saying this bluntly as selfish, critical, and rude behaviours are not acceptable even if they are used as a so called symptom of AS. Having AS is a means of constantly learning from your mistakes and trying to improve and once again I am trying to do this and no I am not perfect but I am damn well try. The world cannot all be one way and using dysfunctional behaviour as an excuse is clearly not on.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Dealing with Authority and positive Aspie stories
One of the issues I have as an Aspie is dealing with authority. When you see everybody as the same and you cannot always understand hierarchical structure, this can tend to cause issues and problems. Sometimes guidance and caution are required to ensure that the person on the Autism Spectrum does not come into contact with an apprising danger or difficulty. What can be done then to ensure there are no issues? In a work environment a person in authority needs to caution the person on the Autism Spectrum that their actions may get them into difficulty. This could be in that they may contact someone in a higher station and not realise that their is a protocol in order to contact the person concerned. I find hierarchy frustrating because often you need to appeal to someone in a higher position to get something done. You may confront difficulty and attitude with someone in a lower position or station.
For Aspies they can have on rare occasions brushes with the law. For instance they may be at a location and think that because something has no use may take it not realising the consequences. The Autism Spectrum should not be used as an excuse for inappropriate or wrongful behaviour but it may be just a simple mistake of miscommunication or not understanding an action concerned. Authority figures and organizations need a greater awareness and understanding of the Autism Spectrum because sometimes the person may simply not know that over stepping the mark may get them into trouble. This can also be provoked by an obsession with the object concerned. Any crime is theft is clearly unacceptable but if there is a mentor, guardian or other supportive person then this can guard against any possible danger or issue. The problem is that some persons on the Autism Spectrum have no family, guardian or even home to live in and lack support from someone who can ensure they do not upset a hierarchical process. On many occasions I have been warned about upsetting hierarchy and although I find it hard to understand and sometimes accept, I try my best to accept the procedure and not create further issues. One issue may be using work email to contact external organisations using my work signature on the foot of the email. I don't really know why an email has a work signature if given my case I am according to the NT work structure on the lower end of the pyramid so to speak. What really is the purpose of a work signature I think to myself? Why is their hierarchy and why is someone who is going to live and die like myself supposedly higher in authority than I am? All very vexing and confusing if you ask me. I have noticed with Aspies that we like to get things done and sometimes we may upset the apple cart so to speak when we do not intend to. Within legal matters, authority figures need greater awareness of AS and also authority figures such as customs. An Aspie may for instance wonder why they have to remove their belt from the trousers as we may think that this is encroaching on our privacy or taking our shoes off may mean that we are afraid that we wont get the back and walking around an airport with no shoes on is not really a good idea. I find immigration and passport checks the most difficult as one must never reply or ask questions back without the possibility of running into further trouble. I asked when passing through one passport check why I could not fly to Germany because I had water in my bag. What damage could water possibly do but I have found out that unfortunately there are other more sinister plans. To put it bluntly an Aspie almost needs an induction prior to dealing with authority figures and hierarchy. Must not upset this person, or contact that person even though they are the same as you.
On another note why aren't Aspies getting positive stories in the media? I know many Aspies from around the world who are very intelligent but lacking social skills precludes us from getting ahead in the world. Just imagine a car with fully blown tires and one with flat tyres. Both are capable of driving and have the energy but the car with flat tyres being the Aspie has to work harder to drive at the same speed as the car with fully inflated tyres. I would like to see more positive stories about Aspies. I know the rare few in employment who work hard but they do not get the lime light. We represent the highest unemployment figures and this has to change. I know one Aspie whom I was talking to on Facebook this morning with who has a wealth of information but lives on his own with his dog. He does not interact and shops late at night with a pair of dark sunglasses on. He is formerly from Ireland and was in a stressful job. He is now in a cave like existence within my region. I prefer not to disclose his location even though I do not know where it is exactly. He is self sufficient but a virtual recluse. As you may have noted earlier some of us Aspies live like ghosts. We exist but sometimes do not feel human. We tend to retreat because others never understand us. It is our only way of surviving and not getting into further misunderstanding. Anyhow let us hear some positive stories about Aspies. Especially the ones in work or the ones who have a story to tell.
For Aspies they can have on rare occasions brushes with the law. For instance they may be at a location and think that because something has no use may take it not realising the consequences. The Autism Spectrum should not be used as an excuse for inappropriate or wrongful behaviour but it may be just a simple mistake of miscommunication or not understanding an action concerned. Authority figures and organizations need a greater awareness and understanding of the Autism Spectrum because sometimes the person may simply not know that over stepping the mark may get them into trouble. This can also be provoked by an obsession with the object concerned. Any crime is theft is clearly unacceptable but if there is a mentor, guardian or other supportive person then this can guard against any possible danger or issue. The problem is that some persons on the Autism Spectrum have no family, guardian or even home to live in and lack support from someone who can ensure they do not upset a hierarchical process. On many occasions I have been warned about upsetting hierarchy and although I find it hard to understand and sometimes accept, I try my best to accept the procedure and not create further issues. One issue may be using work email to contact external organisations using my work signature on the foot of the email. I don't really know why an email has a work signature if given my case I am according to the NT work structure on the lower end of the pyramid so to speak. What really is the purpose of a work signature I think to myself? Why is their hierarchy and why is someone who is going to live and die like myself supposedly higher in authority than I am? All very vexing and confusing if you ask me. I have noticed with Aspies that we like to get things done and sometimes we may upset the apple cart so to speak when we do not intend to. Within legal matters, authority figures need greater awareness of AS and also authority figures such as customs. An Aspie may for instance wonder why they have to remove their belt from the trousers as we may think that this is encroaching on our privacy or taking our shoes off may mean that we are afraid that we wont get the back and walking around an airport with no shoes on is not really a good idea. I find immigration and passport checks the most difficult as one must never reply or ask questions back without the possibility of running into further trouble. I asked when passing through one passport check why I could not fly to Germany because I had water in my bag. What damage could water possibly do but I have found out that unfortunately there are other more sinister plans. To put it bluntly an Aspie almost needs an induction prior to dealing with authority figures and hierarchy. Must not upset this person, or contact that person even though they are the same as you.
On another note why aren't Aspies getting positive stories in the media? I know many Aspies from around the world who are very intelligent but lacking social skills precludes us from getting ahead in the world. Just imagine a car with fully blown tires and one with flat tyres. Both are capable of driving and have the energy but the car with flat tyres being the Aspie has to work harder to drive at the same speed as the car with fully inflated tyres. I would like to see more positive stories about Aspies. I know the rare few in employment who work hard but they do not get the lime light. We represent the highest unemployment figures and this has to change. I know one Aspie whom I was talking to on Facebook this morning with who has a wealth of information but lives on his own with his dog. He does not interact and shops late at night with a pair of dark sunglasses on. He is formerly from Ireland and was in a stressful job. He is now in a cave like existence within my region. I prefer not to disclose his location even though I do not know where it is exactly. He is self sufficient but a virtual recluse. As you may have noted earlier some of us Aspies live like ghosts. We exist but sometimes do not feel human. We tend to retreat because others never understand us. It is our only way of surviving and not getting into further misunderstanding. Anyhow let us hear some positive stories about Aspies. Especially the ones in work or the ones who have a story to tell.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
New poll being conducted.
As I have met Aspies from around the world some are prepared to move or are not happy with the lack of services where they live. It would be interesting therefore to find out given the choice of whether Aspies would consider relocating to another country if it meant an improvement in their quality of life.
I considered immigration myself to the United States of America some years back and have recently thought about moving to Eastern Europe because I feel a resistance in culture here. So as an Aspie would you be prepared to move and live in another country just to get a better quality of life and access to better services. Please take the time to answer the survey if you are able to. It is not compulsory but gauging information may prove useful given Dr Attwood reads my blog.
The polls may seem to non Autistic people as whinge but really more awarenes and pariticpation may help in raising awareness.
I considered immigration myself to the United States of America some years back and have recently thought about moving to Eastern Europe because I feel a resistance in culture here. So as an Aspie would you be prepared to move and live in another country just to get a better quality of life and access to better services. Please take the time to answer the survey if you are able to. It is not compulsory but gauging information may prove useful given Dr Attwood reads my blog.
The polls may seem to non Autistic people as whinge but really more awarenes and pariticpation may help in raising awareness.
Becoming more introspective
In times of seclusion and isolation, I find myself living in my head more. The very concept of living as an Aspie seems second rate and it feels like it is entirely a new culture or language. I think as Aspie that the world around me expects me to socialise and think like other people and yet I struggle to do so. I find my language and communication is entirely different. I find the following areas of discrimination
1. Single room supplement where person pays for couple rate
2. Rental situation
3. Low income
4. Basic communication.
5. The list goes on and more Aspies will mean more need for future accommodations
I find that my thought process differs from others. I don't see things the same way that they do. I am constantly having to control thought processes in my head such as obsessions, confusion etc. I am not violent or dangerous but people seem to avoid me like the plague. I often confront criticism because I think that only Aspies have problems but I am not saying this. What I am saying is that being introspective is part of the condition. It is almost like a prison sentence in that I just cannot connect to other people. I avoid stress where I can. People think because I look like them that I don't have problems. Try living with me 24/7 and you will see I have. People blame their faults on me rather than do something about their own faults to make themselves better. I am always having to learn, think and change myself. It is constant and ongoing. I am confused a lot and I think relationships for Aspie men are different. As an Aspie, I think paying for intimacy seems loveless and I don't want to go there. (Research happening at UQ on this please visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults on Facebook to find out more). I think it would be good to find someone of the opposite sex but it is so exhausting having to jump through the hurdles and loops to get there. All Aspies are different myself included. We need basic services such as counselors etc. Living in your head is a lot safer than being overwhelmed, confused and drained by people who do not understand you. As you get older you become more set in your ways. Not all Aspies are easy to get on with. Most have their own problems. I see a lot of adult Aspie men angry, frustrated, confused and anxious because like me they are not getting the help they require. Things need to change. Being socially isolated and alone is no fun. People can be cruel in that they don't see this and can often mock people on the Autism Spectrum unkindly. Try opening your minds and understanding before you criticise us as we cannot help the way we are as Aspies. We are trying to fit in and understand the world also and we need support and encouragement. We need positive NT's to guide us a long.
1. Single room supplement where person pays for couple rate
2. Rental situation
3. Low income
4. Basic communication.
5. The list goes on and more Aspies will mean more need for future accommodations
I find that my thought process differs from others. I don't see things the same way that they do. I am constantly having to control thought processes in my head such as obsessions, confusion etc. I am not violent or dangerous but people seem to avoid me like the plague. I often confront criticism because I think that only Aspies have problems but I am not saying this. What I am saying is that being introspective is part of the condition. It is almost like a prison sentence in that I just cannot connect to other people. I avoid stress where I can. People think because I look like them that I don't have problems. Try living with me 24/7 and you will see I have. People blame their faults on me rather than do something about their own faults to make themselves better. I am always having to learn, think and change myself. It is constant and ongoing. I am confused a lot and I think relationships for Aspie men are different. As an Aspie, I think paying for intimacy seems loveless and I don't want to go there. (Research happening at UQ on this please visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults on Facebook to find out more). I think it would be good to find someone of the opposite sex but it is so exhausting having to jump through the hurdles and loops to get there. All Aspies are different myself included. We need basic services such as counselors etc. Living in your head is a lot safer than being overwhelmed, confused and drained by people who do not understand you. As you get older you become more set in your ways. Not all Aspies are easy to get on with. Most have their own problems. I see a lot of adult Aspie men angry, frustrated, confused and anxious because like me they are not getting the help they require. Things need to change. Being socially isolated and alone is no fun. People can be cruel in that they don't see this and can often mock people on the Autism Spectrum unkindly. Try opening your minds and understanding before you criticise us as we cannot help the way we are as Aspies. We are trying to fit in and understand the world also and we need support and encouragement. We need positive NT's to guide us a long.
The I pretend I don't know you but I really do syndrome
I really don't know what it is with people but sometimes you can go into a shop or another place locally and you can come across a person and they do not say hello to you or pretend they do not know you. I find this really strange and in all honesty very rude. It seems to happen in Brisbane a lot. People just pretend they do not know you but they do. Brisbane has a very strange culture in a lot of ways. You can easily be disliked or people are suspicious of you because you may think or act differently. Sometimes people can be unbelievably snotty also. I guess this is what you expect when you live in a culture that does not always take the time to try and understand people who may think or act differently to others.
Some places in the world are accommodating of persons who may be different or slightly awkward but I do not find Brisbane to be like this. You just are ignored or people are not able to open their minds beyond a shallow conservative way of thinking to be accommodating. Of course I cannot make such sweeping and generalized statements to include all persons as there are indeed some good people. One grows tired though of having to put up with a backward, and shallow majority culture which is over run by the bogan factor also. The other day I went to have my hair cut and I knew the individual who was also getting his hair cut. I had met him a few times in the past from the local church. If he is a true Christian then surely he could have said hello or how are you going etc? Not the case just pretended not to know me. I do find that within a university that I have some immunity from a resistant society but when trying to adjust to the general community, I find this impossible. I wish I could have a support worker assist me in accessing community activities because nobody understands me and why I think and act differently. Even if I use all energy I can muster to attend an event, I just find myself sitting on the outer and being excluded from the conversation. I feel more and more uncomfortable as time goes on and I also become anxious. Whatever I seem to say or do also offends people. It is like I have to walk on egg shells all of the time in case I may offend someone. I see seclusion as the only means of avoiding the added complications of rejection, and being misunderstood. I just don't think I am going to ever get any help in my life?! I really don't know what to do and I feel at times close to breaking point. Why are people not able to understand? Surely they can open their minds more? Is it such a big thing to ask? I really need somewhere to vent my anger. This is why I have a blog. At times I feel like I am screaming out for help but I have to contain my rage. Nobody seems to be able to listen or understand. The very thought of existence at times just seems so overwhelming. People just don't get me at all! What am I to do? Am I destined to be on my own for the rest of my life? Why do I have to suffer the pain and humiliation and rejection when I am an honest person. I do care about other people. I have been told I am a professional worrier but Aspies are professional worriers. I hope in my life time change will happen. My parents keep insisting that I go to their church but some members of the congregation I find just do not take the time to be warm and friendly. On a recent visit I was met with a cold response. I don't mean to be difficult but I just find the thought of attending just too overwhelming. I know people have other problems but they cannot see the Autism Spectrum in me so what is the point. Seclusion seems to be the only means. Perhaps I should have been a priest that resided in a monastery and people could just leave me alone. I am just tired of being hurt and people treating me not very nicely. It is just too much to bear at times.
Some places in the world are accommodating of persons who may be different or slightly awkward but I do not find Brisbane to be like this. You just are ignored or people are not able to open their minds beyond a shallow conservative way of thinking to be accommodating. Of course I cannot make such sweeping and generalized statements to include all persons as there are indeed some good people. One grows tired though of having to put up with a backward, and shallow majority culture which is over run by the bogan factor also. The other day I went to have my hair cut and I knew the individual who was also getting his hair cut. I had met him a few times in the past from the local church. If he is a true Christian then surely he could have said hello or how are you going etc? Not the case just pretended not to know me. I do find that within a university that I have some immunity from a resistant society but when trying to adjust to the general community, I find this impossible. I wish I could have a support worker assist me in accessing community activities because nobody understands me and why I think and act differently. Even if I use all energy I can muster to attend an event, I just find myself sitting on the outer and being excluded from the conversation. I feel more and more uncomfortable as time goes on and I also become anxious. Whatever I seem to say or do also offends people. It is like I have to walk on egg shells all of the time in case I may offend someone. I see seclusion as the only means of avoiding the added complications of rejection, and being misunderstood. I just don't think I am going to ever get any help in my life?! I really don't know what to do and I feel at times close to breaking point. Why are people not able to understand? Surely they can open their minds more? Is it such a big thing to ask? I really need somewhere to vent my anger. This is why I have a blog. At times I feel like I am screaming out for help but I have to contain my rage. Nobody seems to be able to listen or understand. The very thought of existence at times just seems so overwhelming. People just don't get me at all! What am I to do? Am I destined to be on my own for the rest of my life? Why do I have to suffer the pain and humiliation and rejection when I am an honest person. I do care about other people. I have been told I am a professional worrier but Aspies are professional worriers. I hope in my life time change will happen. My parents keep insisting that I go to their church but some members of the congregation I find just do not take the time to be warm and friendly. On a recent visit I was met with a cold response. I don't mean to be difficult but I just find the thought of attending just too overwhelming. I know people have other problems but they cannot see the Autism Spectrum in me so what is the point. Seclusion seems to be the only means. Perhaps I should have been a priest that resided in a monastery and people could just leave me alone. I am just tired of being hurt and people treating me not very nicely. It is just too much to bear at times.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
The tall poppy syndrome has to go
In Australia there unfortunately exists the "Tall Poppy Syndrome". This does nothing but cut down people who try on merit, hard work, dedication and achievement try to make a go of life. It is unfortunate that people who try very hard to do the right thing are never able to succeed. What really allows for progress and efficiency instead is just undermined by those who are jealous, driven by ego or envy. Why do good people leave Australia then? Quite simply because any chance of succeeding is drastically 'cut down' just like a tall poppy. If Australia wants to improve and more importantly compete as a nation, then it has to start supporting people who try and make a go to better their lives.
Sadly I believe the current climate is not positive and it is causing good people to either leave or not get into positions where they can make positive change. Every person is afforded opportunity but simply cutting down people who try and make for better clearly does not help anyone.
Take a minute to read the attached link to this post when you press on the Title of this post above and ask yourself, wouldn't things be better if we allowed people to make positive change and allow for progress in Australia?
Sadly I believe the current climate is not positive and it is causing good people to either leave or not get into positions where they can make positive change. Every person is afforded opportunity but simply cutting down people who try and make for better clearly does not help anyone.
Take a minute to read the attached link to this post when you press on the Title of this post above and ask yourself, wouldn't things be better if we allowed people to make positive change and allow for progress in Australia?
The advocacy work continues
This morning I have mailed out letters to schools and disability employment agencies raising the awareness of Asperger Syndrome in adults. I hope that with this mail out that I may be able to obtain some more speaking and awareness presentations. I am going to look at updating my website also to reflect the updates and changes that have happened recently.
We still need more input from adults on the Autism Spectrum for next year's conference being hosted by Asperger Services Australia. For more information please visit Asperger Services Australia's website http://www.asperger.asn.au There is a link on the website which provides details of how to enter your submission online. Please note that submissions close on 29th August 2011 so please do not delay and ensure that you have your submission in by then.
I am currently slowly working on my second book and my current book will be sent to Jessica Kingsley Publishers as per Dr Tony Attwood's recommendation. It will be interesting to see how this goes. In the meantime I ask you to visit my website for the latest details and updates.
Thank you for your support.
We still need more input from adults on the Autism Spectrum for next year's conference being hosted by Asperger Services Australia. For more information please visit Asperger Services Australia's website http://www.asperger.asn.au There is a link on the website which provides details of how to enter your submission online. Please note that submissions close on 29th August 2011 so please do not delay and ensure that you have your submission in by then.
I am currently slowly working on my second book and my current book will be sent to Jessica Kingsley Publishers as per Dr Tony Attwood's recommendation. It will be interesting to see how this goes. In the meantime I ask you to visit my website for the latest details and updates.
Thank you for your support.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Dealing with spineless people
One of the things that really irritates me is when people talk about another person behind their back. Also how people are too gutless to actually say to a person's face what issues they have with them. I refer to the earlier example when I was in Armidale to where a group of faceless men provoked me to tell the person they had an issue with that this person was an 'arrogant Dutch bastard". It is just not good and I find the very concept of attacking or criticizing a person behind their back as spineless.
It is always interesting how issues flare up when you least expect them. I remember once when working in a work environment that the whole workplace informed me through the employment consultant that I irritated everyone and that I used Asperger Syndrome as an excuse to get away with inappropriate behaviour. May I ask where was the inappropriate behaviour and why did not someone speak up rather than go behind my back with others and make me feel as though I was being ganged up upon? Also it is interesting how issues arise and people always have their feelings hurt by you but they can say what they darn well want to you and think they can get away with it.
Gossip, back stabbing and spineless behaviour does not get anyone anywhere. I have encountered very cruel comments and taunts in my life. The school years were no fun but also some situations in the work environment were no fun either. Why then can't spineless people confront you directly and say what issue they have rather than get together with a gang of people and then make you feel small and worthless where they can? I mean isn't this cruel and pernicious behaviour?
People do not realise at times just how cruel they can be a person and unfortunately they may not realise this or perhaps they do. I hear constantly from people that all I talk about is Asperger Syndrome. Well once again try living with the condition 24/7. If you don't like what I have to say and I irritate you then why do you bother criticising me? I find your very actions and comments irritating in that you do not understand. Perhaps you need to try and listen more. Have you ever wondered why persons on the Autism Spectrum may self inflict? I used to because the only way a person could actually see I was crying out for help was when I scratched myself or took a strap to myself when I was younger. People could not see or understand and I felt ignored and unheard. It can also be difficult when siblings may not always understand also. I have always been seen in my opinion a trouble maker when all that is really required is for them and other people to simply listen. If anyone wants to say something to my face please do so and like always ever since I was young, I will again stand up for myself. This is why I am strong get it? I have had to be so to survive in this world!
If I need and want to expand my interests then I need access to a community worker! This person could help me to integrate into the community rather than go on my own which is very difficulty and daunting. Just being around people in groups and on my own I find very difficult. A community worker could help for me to go a long to social events and help for people to understand me better. Despite constantly lobbying the Queensland Government I have got nowhere with this. The only support I did receive was when I applied to "A Place To Belong". I made one friend through this but what I ask for is someone to help me integrate with others within social settings. Rather than go and be isolated and misunderstood a support worker could help out considerably!
It is always interesting how issues flare up when you least expect them. I remember once when working in a work environment that the whole workplace informed me through the employment consultant that I irritated everyone and that I used Asperger Syndrome as an excuse to get away with inappropriate behaviour. May I ask where was the inappropriate behaviour and why did not someone speak up rather than go behind my back with others and make me feel as though I was being ganged up upon? Also it is interesting how issues arise and people always have their feelings hurt by you but they can say what they darn well want to you and think they can get away with it.
Gossip, back stabbing and spineless behaviour does not get anyone anywhere. I have encountered very cruel comments and taunts in my life. The school years were no fun but also some situations in the work environment were no fun either. Why then can't spineless people confront you directly and say what issue they have rather than get together with a gang of people and then make you feel small and worthless where they can? I mean isn't this cruel and pernicious behaviour?
People do not realise at times just how cruel they can be a person and unfortunately they may not realise this or perhaps they do. I hear constantly from people that all I talk about is Asperger Syndrome. Well once again try living with the condition 24/7. If you don't like what I have to say and I irritate you then why do you bother criticising me? I find your very actions and comments irritating in that you do not understand. Perhaps you need to try and listen more. Have you ever wondered why persons on the Autism Spectrum may self inflict? I used to because the only way a person could actually see I was crying out for help was when I scratched myself or took a strap to myself when I was younger. People could not see or understand and I felt ignored and unheard. It can also be difficult when siblings may not always understand also. I have always been seen in my opinion a trouble maker when all that is really required is for them and other people to simply listen. If anyone wants to say something to my face please do so and like always ever since I was young, I will again stand up for myself. This is why I am strong get it? I have had to be so to survive in this world!
If I need and want to expand my interests then I need access to a community worker! This person could help me to integrate into the community rather than go on my own which is very difficulty and daunting. Just being around people in groups and on my own I find very difficult. A community worker could help for me to go a long to social events and help for people to understand me better. Despite constantly lobbying the Queensland Government I have got nowhere with this. The only support I did receive was when I applied to "A Place To Belong". I made one friend through this but what I ask for is someone to help me integrate with others within social settings. Rather than go and be isolated and misunderstood a support worker could help out considerably!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The pretend friend predator
What is a pretend friend predator? The pretend friend predator is a person who I describe that preys on the weakness of a person on the Autism Spectrum and prays on the need for or wanting of friendship that the person on the Autism Spectrum wants. Not all persons are affected by such individuals but those that are constantly endure mind games, have their sensitive buttons pressed and once the friend predator has done the damage, they walk away and pretend that nothing has happened. Such individuals usually act on jealousy and do not like other individuals who pose a threat to their own well being.
I have noticed that amongst the Autism Community that there are some individuals who claim to have an Asperger Syndrome diagnosis that unfortunately fit into this category. They are predators mainly because they prey on the innocence and vulnerability a person on the Autism Spectrum has. Unfortunately I have encountered many unsavory individuals in my life and you have to be careful to not walk down their path or associate with them. They can totally drain and deflate you as a person and their ultimate goal is to ensure that the person they fear or are jealous of do not get ahead. People in the Autism Community need to be very careful of such individuals and not associate with them. They prey on the vulnerabilities that a person has and they know where and how when necessary to push what appropriate buttons to ensure they deflate the person concerned. They also use the person concerned to get what they want and once they have obtained it, they just drop the person on the Autism Spectrum and leave them feeling a sense of absolute exhaustion. Communication is often one sided from personal experience and they may also lack any sense of empathy or any basic form of communication. They may also claim to be higher functioning and try to use this as a means of putting you down etc. I have experienced such examples of behaviour on few occasions. I also try to walk away before I get hurt.
I have noticed that amongst the Autism Community that there are some individuals who claim to have an Asperger Syndrome diagnosis that unfortunately fit into this category. They are predators mainly because they prey on the innocence and vulnerability a person on the Autism Spectrum has. Unfortunately I have encountered many unsavory individuals in my life and you have to be careful to not walk down their path or associate with them. They can totally drain and deflate you as a person and their ultimate goal is to ensure that the person they fear or are jealous of do not get ahead. People in the Autism Community need to be very careful of such individuals and not associate with them. They prey on the vulnerabilities that a person has and they know where and how when necessary to push what appropriate buttons to ensure they deflate the person concerned. They also use the person concerned to get what they want and once they have obtained it, they just drop the person on the Autism Spectrum and leave them feeling a sense of absolute exhaustion. Communication is often one sided from personal experience and they may also lack any sense of empathy or any basic form of communication. They may also claim to be higher functioning and try to use this as a means of putting you down etc. I have experienced such examples of behaviour on few occasions. I also try to walk away before I get hurt.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The true gentleman personality trait
When I lived in Armidale I remember a short little European man with a very foreign sounding name. Both he and his elderly wife lived in Armidale. He was a former teacher and back then I was in the Masonic Lodge. I can remember thinking that perhaps I too was European in my ways and customs. For instance it is very odd in an anglo saxon culture if you display any warmth as a man to people. People look at you and think there is something wrong with you. Perhaps I am not blokey enough or I am termed a girly man or some other ridiculous name. I have always found myself looking out for others and perhaps I learned early in life how to be self disciplined having gone to Business College at 19 and rising to the 20th degree in Freemasonry which was in my opinion a means of character refinement. I ended up leaving because I felt it was too political and I experienced some degree of discomfort. I did make some good friends out of it though and my own personal experiences should not reflect it in a negative context.
What then is defined as a true gentleman?
1. Someone who has manners and does not lower their standards for anyone.
2. Someone who is kind and tries to help others
3. Old fashioned in some ways of thinking and behaving.
4. Someone who has respect for themselves and tries to be the same when around others.
I blame Americanisation for destroying a lot of western culture because it has made people selfish. It has created a white trash culture where people don't think and care about others around them. People have also lost respect for others and themselves and clearly this is not helping anyone. I find this stupid macho, prove yourself, blokey, ego masculine trait as so irrelevant and annoying. Not only is it boring it is just irritating to put up with. I guess I am a rare exception in what I believe in but surely some decency and respect need to return to society? I feel more European (not English) but some other part in Europe mostly. This is why I probably feel more comfortable when I travel through Europe because I feel I can relate to them. Often the different language makes me feel like I can connect and relate to them.
What then is defined as a true gentleman?
1. Someone who has manners and does not lower their standards for anyone.
2. Someone who is kind and tries to help others
3. Old fashioned in some ways of thinking and behaving.
4. Someone who has respect for themselves and tries to be the same when around others.
I blame Americanisation for destroying a lot of western culture because it has made people selfish. It has created a white trash culture where people don't think and care about others around them. People have also lost respect for others and themselves and clearly this is not helping anyone. I find this stupid macho, prove yourself, blokey, ego masculine trait as so irrelevant and annoying. Not only is it boring it is just irritating to put up with. I guess I am a rare exception in what I believe in but surely some decency and respect need to return to society? I feel more European (not English) but some other part in Europe mostly. This is why I probably feel more comfortable when I travel through Europe because I feel I can relate to them. Often the different language makes me feel like I can connect and relate to them.
The meaning of life
The meaning of life from a person on the Autism Spectrum. I often wonder about the meaning of life. Why do I think and act differently to others around me and why do I live a lot in my head?
Authoress Louisa May Alcott once said
We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.
It can often be difficult knowing where one goes in life and I try do do my best. I feel it necessary to immune myself from being selfish and trying to let others force me to lower my standards. I see the world around me as being a constant place of learning and remaining intellectually curious. Why for instance do we have history? Why was the earth created? Why are people different from each other? All questions take a life time to answer and the greatest happiness comes from having a thirst for knowledge rather than material possessions. In today's society there seems to be too much focus on a person acquiring or measuring their success on what possessions they have and too little on what experiences they have gained in life. This makes a person feel like an empty vessel. You can't take material possessions always with you but you can take knowledge with you. Learned people are ones to gravitate to if they have something that is substantial to say. This is where persons on the Autism Spectrum are valuable. How much can you learn from a person about science, maths, history, statistics etc?
I find reading to be a challenge but I do find history exciting because it portrays man's errors, limited achievements and the human condition. Despite the world existing for as long as it has, it would be boring if it were not for history and knowledge etc. The meaning of life is about learning and not becoming a government created walking zombie. Ask yourself the question what is the meaning of life according to you?
Authoress Louisa May Alcott once said
We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.
It can often be difficult knowing where one goes in life and I try do do my best. I feel it necessary to immune myself from being selfish and trying to let others force me to lower my standards. I see the world around me as being a constant place of learning and remaining intellectually curious. Why for instance do we have history? Why was the earth created? Why are people different from each other? All questions take a life time to answer and the greatest happiness comes from having a thirst for knowledge rather than material possessions. In today's society there seems to be too much focus on a person acquiring or measuring their success on what possessions they have and too little on what experiences they have gained in life. This makes a person feel like an empty vessel. You can't take material possessions always with you but you can take knowledge with you. Learned people are ones to gravitate to if they have something that is substantial to say. This is where persons on the Autism Spectrum are valuable. How much can you learn from a person about science, maths, history, statistics etc?
I find reading to be a challenge but I do find history exciting because it portrays man's errors, limited achievements and the human condition. Despite the world existing for as long as it has, it would be boring if it were not for history and knowledge etc. The meaning of life is about learning and not becoming a government created walking zombie. Ask yourself the question what is the meaning of life according to you?
Ways to communicate with a person on the Autism Spectrum
As a person on the Autism Spectrum it can often be hard for persons who are not on the Autism Spectrum to understand so I thought I would provide some useful examples.
1. Under no circumstances never yell or raise your voice at the Autistic Person.
Why?
Nobody likes to be yelled at and often abrasive responses or raised voices can cause the Autistic person to become very anxious, disorientated and confused.
2. A person on the Autism Spectrum may say something and it is offensive.
Why?
Often the person is unaware that they have your feelings or said something offensive. People with Autism do not have verbal filters and often words from thought become spoken word
3. How do I know I have offended a person on the Autism Spectrum?
You may not know but you can ask questions if you feel the person is offended to seek clarification
4. Autistic people don't try hard enough and are lazy is this true?
Autistic people are not lazy but may have difficulty with executive function. Also they may have different functioning levels. Just try and be patient where you can and don't rush them into making decisions or planning actions.
5. A person with Autism does not try hard enough in being a friend or in entering a relationship. Why are they like this?
People on the Autism Spectrum can struggle with friendship and relationships. Unfortunately with the latter and from personal experience being a man on the Autism Spectrum, most women just don't get Autistic men at all. The whole dating process can be overwhelming and in Aspie men like non Autistic men but Autistic men more so hurt may not be transmitted or absorbed the same way as though not on the Autism Spectrum.
Please feel free to visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome adults by double clicking on the title of the post should you have any further questions.
1. Under no circumstances never yell or raise your voice at the Autistic Person.
Why?
Nobody likes to be yelled at and often abrasive responses or raised voices can cause the Autistic person to become very anxious, disorientated and confused.
2. A person on the Autism Spectrum may say something and it is offensive.
Why?
Often the person is unaware that they have your feelings or said something offensive. People with Autism do not have verbal filters and often words from thought become spoken word
3. How do I know I have offended a person on the Autism Spectrum?
You may not know but you can ask questions if you feel the person is offended to seek clarification
4. Autistic people don't try hard enough and are lazy is this true?
Autistic people are not lazy but may have difficulty with executive function. Also they may have different functioning levels. Just try and be patient where you can and don't rush them into making decisions or planning actions.
5. A person with Autism does not try hard enough in being a friend or in entering a relationship. Why are they like this?
People on the Autism Spectrum can struggle with friendship and relationships. Unfortunately with the latter and from personal experience being a man on the Autism Spectrum, most women just don't get Autistic men at all. The whole dating process can be overwhelming and in Aspie men like non Autistic men but Autistic men more so hurt may not be transmitted or absorbed the same way as though not on the Autism Spectrum.
Please feel free to visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome adults by double clicking on the title of the post should you have any further questions.
The two sides of the coin
I sometimes ask myself the following question. Am I really getting anywhere with advocating for Autism or should I just give up and become a second rate neurotypical?
One of the things that is most difficult being on the Autism Spectrum is that people cannot see how exactly it affects you. I often feel at times that a new language almost needs to be written for persons on the Autism Spectrum because our means of communication and understanding is different to others. For instance I may get offended easily in the way that someone may respond to something I say or a behaviour that I express. I also feel that trying to carve out an existence is virtually maddening. The world is so cut throat and being understood by those around me is almost impossible.
I could not live with myself if I chose not to advocate for the Autism Spectrum. I am tired of being rejected, ignored, isolated and feeling depressed. I cannot live with the concept of being treated like a second class citizen where I see life for persons with disabilities, especially Autism at a lower end. I refuse to accept that I am not worthy of a relationship and find it difficult to be continually rejected or not getting anywhere on a romantic level with the opposite sex. What supposedly is one of the most celebrated events in a person's life is just fraught with misery and difficulty. It is just so much beyond my own capability that I feel I have lost feelings to assist me enter a relationship altogether. I feel a sense of being repelled, unattractive, unworthy, ugly, lacking empathy, hurt, lacking emotions and the list goes on. The whole dating process to me just seems like heartache and I feel most of the time that I don't even want to go there anymore. Why should this be the case? Why can't something be done to greatly enhance the lives of adults on the Autism Spectrum? Rejection and not getting anywhere is debilitating.
If I were to live like a non Autistic person I would not be myself. I would be doing and acting in a way that is not me. It is not my identity and it is not the person I truly am. Why then can't a person just accept me for who I am? Why do I need to conform for the sake of pleasing others and if I try I am still going to be ignored or rejected any way?
Over the years I have grown to accept that I am Aspie. I feel now that I accept it but I find others have a problem with it. Why I ask? Why cannot people understand that there are people who think and act differently? Why does a person need to tolerate and accept that they are a second rate citizen. I know people reading this blog will think 'oh well he has it lucky'. Well I ask you to think again. Life is no fun when other people avoid or don't understand you. People can be cruel but not know they are doing it. Living at times is like a constant battle of having to raise awareness or tread water. Ask yourself this question how would you feel if you had Asperger Syndrome? How would you cope if your mind thought differently and your mannerisms you could not control? Imagine also feeling like a ghost where you existed around people but they cannot see or understand you? Take time to think about it and then ask yourself should a person who is affected by Autism change for the sake of fitting in when their thinking and behaviours are different from your own. I described to Dr Tony Attwood what it feels like to exist as a ghost at times when you are around people and they don't see or understand you.
One of the things that is most difficult being on the Autism Spectrum is that people cannot see how exactly it affects you. I often feel at times that a new language almost needs to be written for persons on the Autism Spectrum because our means of communication and understanding is different to others. For instance I may get offended easily in the way that someone may respond to something I say or a behaviour that I express. I also feel that trying to carve out an existence is virtually maddening. The world is so cut throat and being understood by those around me is almost impossible.
I could not live with myself if I chose not to advocate for the Autism Spectrum. I am tired of being rejected, ignored, isolated and feeling depressed. I cannot live with the concept of being treated like a second class citizen where I see life for persons with disabilities, especially Autism at a lower end. I refuse to accept that I am not worthy of a relationship and find it difficult to be continually rejected or not getting anywhere on a romantic level with the opposite sex. What supposedly is one of the most celebrated events in a person's life is just fraught with misery and difficulty. It is just so much beyond my own capability that I feel I have lost feelings to assist me enter a relationship altogether. I feel a sense of being repelled, unattractive, unworthy, ugly, lacking empathy, hurt, lacking emotions and the list goes on. The whole dating process to me just seems like heartache and I feel most of the time that I don't even want to go there anymore. Why should this be the case? Why can't something be done to greatly enhance the lives of adults on the Autism Spectrum? Rejection and not getting anywhere is debilitating.
If I were to live like a non Autistic person I would not be myself. I would be doing and acting in a way that is not me. It is not my identity and it is not the person I truly am. Why then can't a person just accept me for who I am? Why do I need to conform for the sake of pleasing others and if I try I am still going to be ignored or rejected any way?
Over the years I have grown to accept that I am Aspie. I feel now that I accept it but I find others have a problem with it. Why I ask? Why cannot people understand that there are people who think and act differently? Why does a person need to tolerate and accept that they are a second rate citizen. I know people reading this blog will think 'oh well he has it lucky'. Well I ask you to think again. Life is no fun when other people avoid or don't understand you. People can be cruel but not know they are doing it. Living at times is like a constant battle of having to raise awareness or tread water. Ask yourself this question how would you feel if you had Asperger Syndrome? How would you cope if your mind thought differently and your mannerisms you could not control? Imagine also feeling like a ghost where you existed around people but they cannot see or understand you? Take time to think about it and then ask yourself should a person who is affected by Autism change for the sake of fitting in when their thinking and behaviours are different from your own. I described to Dr Tony Attwood what it feels like to exist as a ghost at times when you are around people and they don't see or understand you.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Campaign for a Public Apology to People with a Disability and their Families
Well done some very committed Australians for putting together this letter. I have informed Cheryl Gillan MP UK about this letter and she is interested to know more. I will also inform Dr Tony Attwood.
This is an Open Letter (please send via Australia Post or email to your local
Members of Parliament as well as throughout your online networks)
People with disabilities and their families are the most invisible and marginalized Australians and also amongst the most disadvantaged. A significant percentage of this group of Australians are known to be living like second class citizens. Despite some reasonable efforts and good intentions by people with disabilities and their families as well as various disability organisations, government policies for many decades were designed to 'shut out' people with disabilities and their families from society. This is not just history, it continues today through a dysfunctional disability service system that provides little genuine support to ensure people with a disability and their families are able to live inclusively in our communities. This legacy has directly effected a current national culture of pitying people with a disability and ignoring, condoning and fostering human rights violations of endemic and chronic proportions. These violations, which derive directly from and are thus prohibited by various articles and principles described in the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities that the Australian Government has signed and ratified, include the suffering of hundreds of thousands of Australians with a disability from exclusion, isolation, abuse, neglect, discrimination, vilification, ignorance, inequality economically and socially and in meaningful access to employment and health services, inequity and a reduced quality of life compared with abled Australians. Whilst an overhaul in personal care and support is welcome, it will likely fail at combating the many obstacles placed in the path of people with disabilities in all facets of society such as education, employment, health care, housing, access to premises and social inclusion. We call upon the Prime Minister of Australia and each of the State Premiers and Territory Chief Ministers to deliver a formal public apology to people with disabilities and their families for past and present denials of human rights and the imposition of a dysfunctional service system upon the most vulnerable sections of Australian society. In addition, we call upon disability charities and services to deliver a formal public apology for their part in the "shutting out" of people with disabilities and their families from society, and their participation in a poorly resourced and dysfunctional service system that continues to humiliate people with disabilities and their families. Finally, we call upon all politicians and policy-makers to support and facilitate the overhauling of the culture and support arrangements for people with disabilities and their families which shall include the implementation of the following recommendations that include, but are not limited to, the Government of Australia committing to:
1. Integrating support to people with a disability through the introduction of self-directed in-home and in-community services and personal budgets in education, health care, employment and training and housing, as well as in personal support and aids and equipment, traversing service boundaries with mental health, child and family support, and aged care;
2. Changing State and Territory building regulations for private housing to ensure all new builds meet the requirements for visitable housing;
3. Supporting and extending existing subsidy programmes for employers to facilitate the employment of large numbers of people with disabilities which shall include strategies to prohibit subminimum wages;
4. Introducing additional federal anti-discrimination provision that prohibits disability vilification to match the racial, homosexual and religious vilification legislations;
5. Adopt the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities into Australian law;
6. Conducting an official inquiry into how reasonable the "fair go" principle was implemented for Australians affected by disability in disability discrimination complaints (e.g. Purvis and Walker) previously pursued in the courts including the deterrent posed by financial disincentive due to crippling court costs;
7. Conducting a Royal Commission into the efficacy of the Australian Human Rights Commission in promoting and protecting the human rights of Australians with a disability and their families including its administration of the Disability Discrimination Act;
8. Conducting an independent investigation into the merits and practicability of a national Autism Bill/Act and formulating a strategy to address the results of the 2009 Autism in Australia study by the Australian Bureau of Statistics;
9. Honouring the human rights of people with a disability by adopting a principled approach to the use of language and public discourse in matters regarding people with a disability, including removing references which engender pity, revulsion or distrust;
10. The creation of an Ombudsman for Disability to demonstrate commitment and resolve in improving the delivery of services to people with a disability in an appropriate and respectful manner;
11. Ensuring community referencing by people with a disability and their families by asking that all disability government funded organisations and NGOs be required to have at least one member of their executive committee be a person with a disability or their family representative;
12. Measures to reduce administrative overhead, inefficiency and waste in disability services, including a strengthening of quality control procedures.
13. Actively promoting and publicising disability diversity (similar to sexual orientation, racial and religious diversity) and the contribution of people with disabilities lives to a just, humane and rich society;
14. Reviewing the suitability of various sections (e.g. clause 1.9.6) of the Commercial Television Code of Conduct that are meant to protect people with a disability and investigating the previous performance of the Australian Communications and Media Authority in the management of complaints relevant to these sections; and
15. Establishment of a government authority, that includes Australians with a disability and or their families, for administering the implementation of recommendations 1-14 above including periodic efficacy measurements that are accessible to the public.
Sincerely
James Eggleton
Vern Hughes
Kylie McClelland
The Disability Discrimination Australia Public Forum Group (Facebook) plus other Australians supporting the apology campaign.
15th August 2011
Contact Information
Facebook: www.facebook.com/#!/groups?/DDA.PublicForum/
Email: apologycampaign@gmail.com
This is an Open Letter (please send via Australia Post or email to your local
Members of Parliament as well as throughout your online networks)
People with disabilities and their families are the most invisible and marginalized Australians and also amongst the most disadvantaged. A significant percentage of this group of Australians are known to be living like second class citizens. Despite some reasonable efforts and good intentions by people with disabilities and their families as well as various disability organisations, government policies for many decades were designed to 'shut out' people with disabilities and their families from society. This is not just history, it continues today through a dysfunctional disability service system that provides little genuine support to ensure people with a disability and their families are able to live inclusively in our communities. This legacy has directly effected a current national culture of pitying people with a disability and ignoring, condoning and fostering human rights violations of endemic and chronic proportions. These violations, which derive directly from and are thus prohibited by various articles and principles described in the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities that the Australian Government has signed and ratified, include the suffering of hundreds of thousands of Australians with a disability from exclusion, isolation, abuse, neglect, discrimination, vilification, ignorance, inequality economically and socially and in meaningful access to employment and health services, inequity and a reduced quality of life compared with abled Australians. Whilst an overhaul in personal care and support is welcome, it will likely fail at combating the many obstacles placed in the path of people with disabilities in all facets of society such as education, employment, health care, housing, access to premises and social inclusion. We call upon the Prime Minister of Australia and each of the State Premiers and Territory Chief Ministers to deliver a formal public apology to people with disabilities and their families for past and present denials of human rights and the imposition of a dysfunctional service system upon the most vulnerable sections of Australian society. In addition, we call upon disability charities and services to deliver a formal public apology for their part in the "shutting out" of people with disabilities and their families from society, and their participation in a poorly resourced and dysfunctional service system that continues to humiliate people with disabilities and their families. Finally, we call upon all politicians and policy-makers to support and facilitate the overhauling of the culture and support arrangements for people with disabilities and their families which shall include the implementation of the following recommendations that include, but are not limited to, the Government of Australia committing to:
1. Integrating support to people with a disability through the introduction of self-directed in-home and in-community services and personal budgets in education, health care, employment and training and housing, as well as in personal support and aids and equipment, traversing service boundaries with mental health, child and family support, and aged care;
2. Changing State and Territory building regulations for private housing to ensure all new builds meet the requirements for visitable housing;
3. Supporting and extending existing subsidy programmes for employers to facilitate the employment of large numbers of people with disabilities which shall include strategies to prohibit subminimum wages;
4. Introducing additional federal anti-discrimination provision that prohibits disability vilification to match the racial, homosexual and religious vilification legislations;
5. Adopt the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities into Australian law;
6. Conducting an official inquiry into how reasonable the "fair go" principle was implemented for Australians affected by disability in disability discrimination complaints (e.g. Purvis and Walker) previously pursued in the courts including the deterrent posed by financial disincentive due to crippling court costs;
7. Conducting a Royal Commission into the efficacy of the Australian Human Rights Commission in promoting and protecting the human rights of Australians with a disability and their families including its administration of the Disability Discrimination Act;
8. Conducting an independent investigation into the merits and practicability of a national Autism Bill/Act and formulating a strategy to address the results of the 2009 Autism in Australia study by the Australian Bureau of Statistics;
9. Honouring the human rights of people with a disability by adopting a principled approach to the use of language and public discourse in matters regarding people with a disability, including removing references which engender pity, revulsion or distrust;
10. The creation of an Ombudsman for Disability to demonstrate commitment and resolve in improving the delivery of services to people with a disability in an appropriate and respectful manner;
11. Ensuring community referencing by people with a disability and their families by asking that all disability government funded organisations and NGOs be required to have at least one member of their executive committee be a person with a disability or their family representative;
12. Measures to reduce administrative overhead, inefficiency and waste in disability services, including a strengthening of quality control procedures.
13. Actively promoting and publicising disability diversity (similar to sexual orientation, racial and religious diversity) and the contribution of people with disabilities lives to a just, humane and rich society;
14. Reviewing the suitability of various sections (e.g. clause 1.9.6) of the Commercial Television Code of Conduct that are meant to protect people with a disability and investigating the previous performance of the Australian Communications and Media Authority in the management of complaints relevant to these sections; and
15. Establishment of a government authority, that includes Australians with a disability and or their families, for administering the implementation of recommendations 1-14 above including periodic efficacy measurements that are accessible to the public.
Sincerely
James Eggleton
Vern Hughes
Kylie McClelland
The Disability Discrimination Australia Public Forum Group (Facebook) plus other Australians supporting the apology campaign.
15th August 2011
Contact Information
Facebook: www.facebook.com/#!/groups?/DDA.PublicForum/
Email: apologycampaign@gmail.com
Trying to exist in a blokey culture
As an Aspie one of the things I find difficult is trying to have to deal with existing in a blokey culture. By this I mean, it is hard to simply be yourself. If you do you are either perceived as weak or dysfunctional. I find Australian culture very excluding of persons who are not good at sport or simply don't fall into a box like other people seem to. I also find a lot of western women very hostile and they seem to want to compete with Aspie men more so than try and understand them.
I find Facebook very unfriendly in terms of relationship status because it is annoying when being asked 'looking for' or 'interested in' women. Women don't seem to give a frig about Aspie men and internet dating sites are just fraught with frustration and rejection. The research being undertaken by Kat Stork-Brett which can be accessed through my website, delves into sexuality and the frustrations persons on the Autism Spectrum encounter when looking for or wanting a relationship.
The 'blokey culture' is to me irritating. I have grown tired of some peers or slightly younger people trying to poke and prod at my relationship status or sexuality. I mean what is the point? Is it going to make newspaper headlines or something as to my relationship status? I also get tired of some shallow women who think that you should be attracted to them or play some premature flirting game that is just both irritating and annoying. Are they really flirting or are they just looking for some shallow attraction with little substance?
In the past I can remember encountering ego driven men who seem to spend more time bragging about how good they are and how women are always attracted to them. I would rather read an encyclopedia as I could obtain more knowledge from it. Also why is Rugby League called "Footy" when little contact is actually made with the ball and foot. Am I actually missing something?
Queensland is a very blokey culture. Bogans exist here unfortunately as well as this homophobic or bigoted conservatism left over from the Bjelke Petersen era. I find nothing more boring than a person having to prove their ego or pretending myself to be some ego driven man. Rugby League players are not the embodiment of masculinity. Most are very poor role models who are over paid. I try to immune myself from the blokey culture or suck up culture in the workplace. How I live my own life is my own business so I ask other people try to obtain a thirst for knowledge more so than poking and prodding into areas that are none of your business. I mean what is it with people?!
I find Facebook very unfriendly in terms of relationship status because it is annoying when being asked 'looking for' or 'interested in' women. Women don't seem to give a frig about Aspie men and internet dating sites are just fraught with frustration and rejection. The research being undertaken by Kat Stork-Brett which can be accessed through my website, delves into sexuality and the frustrations persons on the Autism Spectrum encounter when looking for or wanting a relationship.
The 'blokey culture' is to me irritating. I have grown tired of some peers or slightly younger people trying to poke and prod at my relationship status or sexuality. I mean what is the point? Is it going to make newspaper headlines or something as to my relationship status? I also get tired of some shallow women who think that you should be attracted to them or play some premature flirting game that is just both irritating and annoying. Are they really flirting or are they just looking for some shallow attraction with little substance?
In the past I can remember encountering ego driven men who seem to spend more time bragging about how good they are and how women are always attracted to them. I would rather read an encyclopedia as I could obtain more knowledge from it. Also why is Rugby League called "Footy" when little contact is actually made with the ball and foot. Am I actually missing something?
Queensland is a very blokey culture. Bogans exist here unfortunately as well as this homophobic or bigoted conservatism left over from the Bjelke Petersen era. I find nothing more boring than a person having to prove their ego or pretending myself to be some ego driven man. Rugby League players are not the embodiment of masculinity. Most are very poor role models who are over paid. I try to immune myself from the blokey culture or suck up culture in the workplace. How I live my own life is my own business so I ask other people try to obtain a thirst for knowledge more so than poking and prodding into areas that are none of your business. I mean what is it with people?!
Monday, August 15, 2011
ASA 2nd National Conference – 16-18 February 2012
As most people are aware Asperger Services Australia will be hosting the 2nd National Conference for Adults on the Autism Spectrum. For more information about this conference simply click on Asperger Services Australia's website on the title of this post.
Why is the conference important for adults on the Autism Spectrum?
The conference is important for adults on the Autism Spectrum because it allows us a chance to share our experiences and enlighten more people about the difficulties, struggles and some of the successes of living with Autism. It also allows for adults in Australia and the rest of the world a chance to connect with each other and to know we are not alone in our lives
Can anyone on the Autism Spectrum put in a submission?
Adults on the Autism Spectrum in Australia are encouraged to apply and overseas adults are welcome to apply also. Submissions to the conference are open to all adults and it is up to Asperger Services Australia to decide on what submissions will be presenting next year
I am an adult on the Autism Spectrum and I have never presented at a conference before am I able to put in a submission?
You don't need to be an expert or professional speaker to present at the conference, all you need to do is to prepare your submission and to make sure it coincides with the requirements of Asperger Services Australia. For more information you are best to contact Asperger Services Australia.
I am afraid of public speaking or I am fearful I may have to speak for a long period, how can I deal with such anxiety?
Adults on the Autism Spectrum have different strengths and abilities. Not all adults may be able to submit for a long period. It is best to ascertain and determine how long you can speak for and to ensure within your submission that you indicate how little or long you can speak for
I have heard that my ticket and accommodation will be paid for is this correct?
Traveling to Australia is unfortunately expensive and as Asperger Services Australia does not receive any government funding and is non profit organisation, not all payments and costs can be covered. If persons are unable to attend you may be able to discuss with Asperger Services Australia other ways you can present your submission which may be by skype, prepared on disk etc. I really cannot speak for Asperger Services Australia in terms of costing so you may be better speaking to Stefanie Evans Honorary Secretary for further information.
What is the venue like I will be speaking at?
Although Australia is in a geographic disadvantage with the rest of the world, the conference is well worth attending. The venue is in a relaxed setting with refreshments and a conducive environment.
I have more questions about the conference which need to be answered so what should I do?
When you visit the website of Asperger Services Australia you will notice a link to the conference and some documents which you will need to download, read carefully and then submit either by email or email. Should you have any further questions you will need to direct these to Asperger Services Australia who are best equipped with answering your questions
Will Dr Tony Attwood be attending the conference?
I am not sure whether Dr Tony Attwood will be attending the conference. He lives in Brisbane and this is a question you will need to ask Asperger Services Australia. It would be good if Dr Tony Attwood could attend the conference but that is not my decision to make.
I have heard Australia is a long way and I am not sure how or whether I am up to the flight. What can I do?
When I have traveled from Australia, I try and overnight in either Dubai or Singapore. When I have flown to the United States, it is roughly a 13 hour flight. The best thing to do is to plan your trip, ensure you have stop overs if necessary and have considerable time to overcome jet lag. Most airlines offer what is called "Meet and Assist". You can ask the airline to assist you with long haul flights. Some of the better or more conducive airlines which fly to Australia include either Emirates, Singapore Airlines and Air New Zealand. I have flown with them and they are quite reasonable. In the transit airports though you may need to be prepared for persons unhelpful and you really need to push hard to ensure you get the support you require. Dubai is a large airport and you need to be prepared. Also passport check areas and customs requirements may also be overwhelming. I always try to be prepared as best I can.
When does my submission to the conference need to be in by?
I have spoken to Stefanie Evans from Asperger Services Australia and she has informed me that submissions need to be in by Monday 29th August 2011.
I would encourage all adults to put in their submission to this conference as the conference is a good way of telling the world what it is like being an adult on the Autism Spectrum. The conference constitutes a start to raising more awareness of the needs, issues and support required for adults on the Autism Spectrum.
Why is the conference important for adults on the Autism Spectrum?
The conference is important for adults on the Autism Spectrum because it allows us a chance to share our experiences and enlighten more people about the difficulties, struggles and some of the successes of living with Autism. It also allows for adults in Australia and the rest of the world a chance to connect with each other and to know we are not alone in our lives
Can anyone on the Autism Spectrum put in a submission?
Adults on the Autism Spectrum in Australia are encouraged to apply and overseas adults are welcome to apply also. Submissions to the conference are open to all adults and it is up to Asperger Services Australia to decide on what submissions will be presenting next year
I am an adult on the Autism Spectrum and I have never presented at a conference before am I able to put in a submission?
You don't need to be an expert or professional speaker to present at the conference, all you need to do is to prepare your submission and to make sure it coincides with the requirements of Asperger Services Australia. For more information you are best to contact Asperger Services Australia.
I am afraid of public speaking or I am fearful I may have to speak for a long period, how can I deal with such anxiety?
Adults on the Autism Spectrum have different strengths and abilities. Not all adults may be able to submit for a long period. It is best to ascertain and determine how long you can speak for and to ensure within your submission that you indicate how little or long you can speak for
I have heard that my ticket and accommodation will be paid for is this correct?
Traveling to Australia is unfortunately expensive and as Asperger Services Australia does not receive any government funding and is non profit organisation, not all payments and costs can be covered. If persons are unable to attend you may be able to discuss with Asperger Services Australia other ways you can present your submission which may be by skype, prepared on disk etc. I really cannot speak for Asperger Services Australia in terms of costing so you may be better speaking to Stefanie Evans Honorary Secretary for further information.
What is the venue like I will be speaking at?
Although Australia is in a geographic disadvantage with the rest of the world, the conference is well worth attending. The venue is in a relaxed setting with refreshments and a conducive environment.
I have more questions about the conference which need to be answered so what should I do?
When you visit the website of Asperger Services Australia you will notice a link to the conference and some documents which you will need to download, read carefully and then submit either by email or email. Should you have any further questions you will need to direct these to Asperger Services Australia who are best equipped with answering your questions
Will Dr Tony Attwood be attending the conference?
I am not sure whether Dr Tony Attwood will be attending the conference. He lives in Brisbane and this is a question you will need to ask Asperger Services Australia. It would be good if Dr Tony Attwood could attend the conference but that is not my decision to make.
I have heard Australia is a long way and I am not sure how or whether I am up to the flight. What can I do?
When I have traveled from Australia, I try and overnight in either Dubai or Singapore. When I have flown to the United States, it is roughly a 13 hour flight. The best thing to do is to plan your trip, ensure you have stop overs if necessary and have considerable time to overcome jet lag. Most airlines offer what is called "Meet and Assist". You can ask the airline to assist you with long haul flights. Some of the better or more conducive airlines which fly to Australia include either Emirates, Singapore Airlines and Air New Zealand. I have flown with them and they are quite reasonable. In the transit airports though you may need to be prepared for persons unhelpful and you really need to push hard to ensure you get the support you require. Dubai is a large airport and you need to be prepared. Also passport check areas and customs requirements may also be overwhelming. I always try to be prepared as best I can.
When does my submission to the conference need to be in by?
I have spoken to Stefanie Evans from Asperger Services Australia and she has informed me that submissions need to be in by Monday 29th August 2011.
I would encourage all adults to put in their submission to this conference as the conference is a good way of telling the world what it is like being an adult on the Autism Spectrum. The conference constitutes a start to raising more awareness of the needs, issues and support required for adults on the Autism Spectrum.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Coming to terms with diagnosis
This Wednesday 17th August I turn 39 years of age. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when I was 25 years of age. I have accepted my diagnosis but what is difficult is that other people around me either don't want to except it, understand it or want to change me into someone I am not. When you are diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum, you often wonder what next? How will I relate to other people or will these people understand me?
For an Aspie in employment the difficult decision may exist also of whether to disclose or not disclose the diagnosis but in most instances, the person on the Autism Spectrum may not even have a job and not know whether to tell or not to tell. It is a very difficult situation to be in and I know of some adults who are diagnosed or suspect they may have AS but afraid to tell their workplaces due to the fear of being bullied and in the worst instance, dismissed from their job.
Some useful strategies in dealing with diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome may be to find a support group and contact other adults on the Autism Spectrum on Facebook. I know of some persons diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum being in denial as they fear they may lose friends, their relationship or not be understood by others around them. Again it can be very difficult which is why I believe there needs to be greater awareness.
I would encourage any adult reading this post to visit my website which can be visited by double clicking the title of this post. I have useful information on my website and I can link the person with other adults on the Autism Spectrum to help make life easier. Diagnosis can be a difficult step but it is well worth finding support and services which may make the transition easier also.
For an Aspie in employment the difficult decision may exist also of whether to disclose or not disclose the diagnosis but in most instances, the person on the Autism Spectrum may not even have a job and not know whether to tell or not to tell. It is a very difficult situation to be in and I know of some adults who are diagnosed or suspect they may have AS but afraid to tell their workplaces due to the fear of being bullied and in the worst instance, dismissed from their job.
Some useful strategies in dealing with diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome may be to find a support group and contact other adults on the Autism Spectrum on Facebook. I know of some persons diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum being in denial as they fear they may lose friends, their relationship or not be understood by others around them. Again it can be very difficult which is why I believe there needs to be greater awareness.
I would encourage any adult reading this post to visit my website which can be visited by double clicking the title of this post. I have useful information on my website and I can link the person with other adults on the Autism Spectrum to help make life easier. Diagnosis can be a difficult step but it is well worth finding support and services which may make the transition easier also.
The Invisible Life
Just imagine what it would be like if you felt like an invisible person? Every day you knew you existed somehow but yet could not relate to other people around you and tried your hardest to communicate only to be ignored or not really understood. In a recent conversation with Dr Tony Attwood, I described to Tony how I felt like a ghost as a person. Whenever I was around people either they did not see me, understand me or not want to have anything to do with me. I informed Tony also that as a person I didn't really know who I was and what my purpose was in life as my thinking and mindset seem to be so different to other people.
It is difficult when you always fall through the cracks around you. It is hard to enter relationships or succeed in them because there is real lack of awareness as to what exactly Asperger Syndrome is and how it affects you as a person. Recent study has commenced at the University of Queensland Department of Psychology into the area of sexuality and relationships for people on the Autism Spectrum. More information about this research can be found on Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults on Facebook. Although the study may seem immoral to some people or perhaps an area that they may feel uncomfortable, at least it may aim to understand the area better of sexuality and the difficulty adults on the Autism Spectrum may have in struggling in the relationship area?
As a person on the Autism Spectrum I spend a great deal of my time in social isolation. I simply find day to day functioning at times overwhelming and just going out and doing the simplest of things can be a mammoth task and undertaking. The other difficulty is dealing with the sensory issues, ignorance from people around you and the anxiety associated with having Asperger Syndrome. A great deal many Aspies live on their own or spend vast amounts of time in social isolation because at least we cannot be hassled or become stressed. I hope people can begin to understand exactly what I mean by the term "The Invisible Life"?
It is difficult when you always fall through the cracks around you. It is hard to enter relationships or succeed in them because there is real lack of awareness as to what exactly Asperger Syndrome is and how it affects you as a person. Recent study has commenced at the University of Queensland Department of Psychology into the area of sexuality and relationships for people on the Autism Spectrum. More information about this research can be found on Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults on Facebook. Although the study may seem immoral to some people or perhaps an area that they may feel uncomfortable, at least it may aim to understand the area better of sexuality and the difficulty adults on the Autism Spectrum may have in struggling in the relationship area?
As a person on the Autism Spectrum I spend a great deal of my time in social isolation. I simply find day to day functioning at times overwhelming and just going out and doing the simplest of things can be a mammoth task and undertaking. The other difficulty is dealing with the sensory issues, ignorance from people around you and the anxiety associated with having Asperger Syndrome. A great deal many Aspies live on their own or spend vast amounts of time in social isolation because at least we cannot be hassled or become stressed. I hope people can begin to understand exactly what I mean by the term "The Invisible Life"?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Can you imagine what it would be like?
In my travels around the world I have met some adults on the Autism Spectrum. Some have been in jobs while others exist either in part time jobs or are sadly unemployed. I can recall visiting the United Kingdom and meeting an adult on the Autism Spectrum who works and lives in a city where he is getting absolutely no support and services. Added to this the person may lose the job at any time. This is deeply concerning. I informed several people where I worked about how hard it must be for the person concerned and how the social isolation must be crippling. I have tried to help as best I can to assist the person concerned overcome their difficult situation. I tried in the first instance to link them to someone within the local university that deals with the Autism Spectrum to no avail. I have also suggested the person on the Autism Spectrum apply for a job here in Australia. Should the person immigrate to Australia then their quality of life may improve. There is only so much I can do!
Just imagine for instance that you lived in a city and you are an adult on the Autism Spectrum. Everyday of your life was spent in social isolation. You had no family that could understand you, and you were not very treated very well in your job and confronted dismissal at any moment. Where would you be? Finding another job would be immensely difficult and having no friends or support would just make things incredibly difficult. This sadly is what it is like for some adults on the Autism Spectrum. They are on the verge of severe depression and social isolation because necessary services required in the community simply do not exist!
Here are some examples of the situation concerned
1. Socially isolated.
2. No other adults on the Autism Spectrum in your community
3. In a job where there is no security and fear of being sacked at any moment.
4. No friends or support
5. Fearful about the future and what will happen
I know that people reading this post may say that these are the everyday issues concerning anyone in this precarious world but for an adult on the Autism Spectrum the deficits of not having friends and being misunderstood by others just makes things a lot harder. I can only do my best and sadly I lose contact with some adults on the Autism Spectrum because they do not understand how hard I try to help them. I have been through the difficulties and hardships and I know personally what it is like. Perhaps maybe one day some adults will find improved services where they live or possibly even immigrate to Australia where a lot of hard work is being undertaken to greatly improve the quality of life for adults. There are all types of problems and hardships in the world but please try to understand what I have written above as it is just as important as well. Hopefully things will change for the future. As for the person in the United Kingdom, I hope their situation improves and they may even be able to immigrate to Australia. All we can do is hope and there is nothing more I can really do but just let things be and see how things evolve. There are a lot of adults around the world living in cities and or communities who are exposed to social isolation and depression. What can be done? More awareness and education of their situation would be a great start! For the person concerned in the United Kingdom, I have suggested the person apply for a job recently advertised at the University of Queensland. This job would provide security and a means to immigrate. I have done all I can now!
Just imagine for instance that you lived in a city and you are an adult on the Autism Spectrum. Everyday of your life was spent in social isolation. You had no family that could understand you, and you were not very treated very well in your job and confronted dismissal at any moment. Where would you be? Finding another job would be immensely difficult and having no friends or support would just make things incredibly difficult. This sadly is what it is like for some adults on the Autism Spectrum. They are on the verge of severe depression and social isolation because necessary services required in the community simply do not exist!
Here are some examples of the situation concerned
1. Socially isolated.
2. No other adults on the Autism Spectrum in your community
3. In a job where there is no security and fear of being sacked at any moment.
4. No friends or support
5. Fearful about the future and what will happen
I know that people reading this post may say that these are the everyday issues concerning anyone in this precarious world but for an adult on the Autism Spectrum the deficits of not having friends and being misunderstood by others just makes things a lot harder. I can only do my best and sadly I lose contact with some adults on the Autism Spectrum because they do not understand how hard I try to help them. I have been through the difficulties and hardships and I know personally what it is like. Perhaps maybe one day some adults will find improved services where they live or possibly even immigrate to Australia where a lot of hard work is being undertaken to greatly improve the quality of life for adults. There are all types of problems and hardships in the world but please try to understand what I have written above as it is just as important as well. Hopefully things will change for the future. As for the person in the United Kingdom, I hope their situation improves and they may even be able to immigrate to Australia. All we can do is hope and there is nothing more I can really do but just let things be and see how things evolve. There are a lot of adults around the world living in cities and or communities who are exposed to social isolation and depression. What can be done? More awareness and education of their situation would be a great start! For the person concerned in the United Kingdom, I have suggested the person apply for a job recently advertised at the University of Queensland. This job would provide security and a means to immigrate. I have done all I can now!
Friday, August 12, 2011
The inner workings of an Asperger mind
When I chat with non Asperger friends or other people, I find they struggle to understand with how I actually think and respond to situations. They can say something and I struggle to understand the gist of what they are saying and more importantly how I am supposed to respond. I get times of euphoria and then periods of struggle and bouts of anxiety. I can listen to the words of a song or feel at times that I have a lot of cognitive energy going on and find I think a lot and then shortly thereafter I can lack confidence and find day to day struggle difficult. Everyone has their good and bad periods but my mind thinks differently to others. I find when I speak with other Aspies that I can be more open with them. We seem to be able to understand where our thought process may loop or where things can be difficult. Yet when we are with a non Autistic person, they just don't seem to get our or my way of thinking at all.
Sometimes driving a car can be stressful. Just driving a long a highway and having to know that this can be stressful means that I have to find coping mechanisms. Sometimes I find myself analysing my every move. I can also read into situations a lot and tend to get things totally wrong. I find the grey areas of life particularly confusing when all means of logic, structure and routine are replaced by uncertainty and unpredictability. Why do people say things that they don't always mean or say they will do something and never get around to it? I have often wondered if they are in fact lying. The inner thoughts of an Aspie tend to involve a lot more cognitive analyzing than to I guess a non Autistic person. The American President George Washington once said
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one
How many people do you know actually just give excuses more so than telling the truth? I prefer to be honest as much as possible but I cannot always understand why people act the way they do and withdraw their own ways of being. The mind of an Aspie needs more examination and research has shown that some parts of the Aspie brain are unique. Why then are we cast aside, ignored and confront a lack of awareness and understanding? Surely things need to change?!
Sometimes driving a car can be stressful. Just driving a long a highway and having to know that this can be stressful means that I have to find coping mechanisms. Sometimes I find myself analysing my every move. I can also read into situations a lot and tend to get things totally wrong. I find the grey areas of life particularly confusing when all means of logic, structure and routine are replaced by uncertainty and unpredictability. Why do people say things that they don't always mean or say they will do something and never get around to it? I have often wondered if they are in fact lying. The inner thoughts of an Aspie tend to involve a lot more cognitive analyzing than to I guess a non Autistic person. The American President George Washington once said
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one
How many people do you know actually just give excuses more so than telling the truth? I prefer to be honest as much as possible but I cannot always understand why people act the way they do and withdraw their own ways of being. The mind of an Aspie needs more examination and research has shown that some parts of the Aspie brain are unique. Why then are we cast aside, ignored and confront a lack of awareness and understanding? Surely things need to change?!
Asperger Syndrome Adults at UQ
This afternoon approximately 10 adults turned up to the fortnightly meeting of Asperger Syndrome Adults at UQ. We talked about the upcoming conference and discussed what we would speak about at the conference. Some adults on the Autism Spectrum also are interested in attending the conference but as yet the finer details need to be worked out.
Things are looking great!
Today has been busy. Going to work was a bit of a challenge as I felt somewhat burned out but I managed to get through. I then attended the meeting of UQ Asperger Adults and then had to add my books to the Brisbane City Council Library collection. I now intend to have a relaxing weekend and unwind if I can.
Should any adults wish to attend the conference please double click on the title of this post to go to the conference. This is just a short post and update for now.
Things are looking great!
Today has been busy. Going to work was a bit of a challenge as I felt somewhat burned out but I managed to get through. I then attended the meeting of UQ Asperger Adults and then had to add my books to the Brisbane City Council Library collection. I now intend to have a relaxing weekend and unwind if I can.
Should any adults wish to attend the conference please double click on the title of this post to go to the conference. This is just a short post and update for now.
It's just a different way of thinking
Communication is different for a person on the Autism Spectrum. This can be difficult when dealing with other people who may treat you in a way that they are used to when dealing with the non Autism population. For an Aspie though we can sometimes be offended when someone says something to us or has an issue with something we do as we can become confused and sometimes even offended. Most people are not always aware of their actions and without the proper education and awareness, a person on the Autism Spectrum may feel confused or even anxious about how to respond or to deal with the situation. Stronger personalities can also be a problem as most Aspies are introspective. Whereas a non Autistic person may have better coping strategies and defence mechanisms to deal with a difficult situation, an Aspie may just try their best to cope with a given situation and obsess or agonize over it. This creates over thinking and mental tiredness. In a work situation, an Aspie may confront a difficult situation or a stronger personality and may find it difficult to stand up for themselves. This is where awareness is needed to help ensure things flow smoothly.
As an Aspie a work environment is often very draining. Just getting through the day and understanding people and their motives can be both challenging and difficult. Some days I feel so overwhelmed that I wonder whether having a job is all really worth it! Luckily I have some supportive people but unfortunately there influence cannot always make changes possible and provide awareness and understanding where appropriate. Survival in employment for the very few Aspies that work really needs to be admired.
Yesterday I caught up with a friend and we had coffee. He purchased my book and it was good to meet up with him. He told me that he might have ADD and I thought it was very brave of him to tell me. I find most Aspies tend to interact with others that may have their own experiences and challenges in life. It is good though to have friendship and to know others go through the same challenges.
I am just coping today. I have had a busy week and what I need to emphasise is that unlike a person who advocates for other conditions, I have Asperger Syndrome 24/7. I live with it everyday. I cannot walk away from it. It affects my thinking and day to day function. For a person who may have a partner who has Alzheimer's Disease for instance, they may advocate on behalf of this person but their mind is not directly affected. In my situation, I am always thinking like an Aspie. It is hard to walk away from it. It consumes my thinking, it makes me tired, I can become confused and feel at times like I am melting down. Just simple everyday things can be a struggle. Driving the car, using my intelligence to get through the working day and to cope with stress and anxiety.
When dealing with Aspies and communicating with us, we may not always understand things the same way as non Autistic people. Methods and approaches used for non Autistic people may not always work with those on the Autism Spectrum. Sometimes we can become offended by people who simply do not understand that their own behaviours may offend or be inappropriate. Our minds can be controlled by our Aspie wired brains. We are hard at times to understand but we are not stupid so please do not treat us as tough we are like this. We just need people to understand us better and allow us to be also treated like human beings. Just making small changes and trying to understand can go a long way in helping to make the life of a person on the Autism Spectrum better.
I also had a brief opportunity to use my brain in the job. The book machine was down and books had to be manually checked in. While on the Loans Desk as I needed access to returning books, a patron asked me to help them find a hold. I tried my best to help and could not find it. A supervisor came in and then I was directed away from the desk to check in books again. I felt frustrated and annoyed. I cannot do more and I am held back in a hierarchical system that does not encourage wider thinking. It is just like I cannot use my brain at all!
As an Aspie a work environment is often very draining. Just getting through the day and understanding people and their motives can be both challenging and difficult. Some days I feel so overwhelmed that I wonder whether having a job is all really worth it! Luckily I have some supportive people but unfortunately there influence cannot always make changes possible and provide awareness and understanding where appropriate. Survival in employment for the very few Aspies that work really needs to be admired.
Yesterday I caught up with a friend and we had coffee. He purchased my book and it was good to meet up with him. He told me that he might have ADD and I thought it was very brave of him to tell me. I find most Aspies tend to interact with others that may have their own experiences and challenges in life. It is good though to have friendship and to know others go through the same challenges.
I am just coping today. I have had a busy week and what I need to emphasise is that unlike a person who advocates for other conditions, I have Asperger Syndrome 24/7. I live with it everyday. I cannot walk away from it. It affects my thinking and day to day function. For a person who may have a partner who has Alzheimer's Disease for instance, they may advocate on behalf of this person but their mind is not directly affected. In my situation, I am always thinking like an Aspie. It is hard to walk away from it. It consumes my thinking, it makes me tired, I can become confused and feel at times like I am melting down. Just simple everyday things can be a struggle. Driving the car, using my intelligence to get through the working day and to cope with stress and anxiety.
When dealing with Aspies and communicating with us, we may not always understand things the same way as non Autistic people. Methods and approaches used for non Autistic people may not always work with those on the Autism Spectrum. Sometimes we can become offended by people who simply do not understand that their own behaviours may offend or be inappropriate. Our minds can be controlled by our Aspie wired brains. We are hard at times to understand but we are not stupid so please do not treat us as tough we are like this. We just need people to understand us better and allow us to be also treated like human beings. Just making small changes and trying to understand can go a long way in helping to make the life of a person on the Autism Spectrum better.
I also had a brief opportunity to use my brain in the job. The book machine was down and books had to be manually checked in. While on the Loans Desk as I needed access to returning books, a patron asked me to help them find a hold. I tried my best to help and could not find it. A supervisor came in and then I was directed away from the desk to check in books again. I felt frustrated and annoyed. I cannot do more and I am held back in a hierarchical system that does not encourage wider thinking. It is just like I cannot use my brain at all!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Damian Santamauro needs your help
Damian is an adult on the Autism Spectrum undertaking research into young adults on the Autism Spectrum. Below is his message for your support
" Hi everyone! I am currently running focus groups at the University of Queensland and am currently looking for parents of adolescents and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Participants will be asked questions about their experiences with the emotion regulation of their adolescent/young adult children.
Each focus group will take about an hour and the information you provide will be treated confidentially. There will also be morning or afternoon tea depending on what time best suits everyone. Please let me know if you are interested in participating! :)"
Please visit my website to contact Damian as his email is on this.
" Hi everyone! I am currently running focus groups at the University of Queensland and am currently looking for parents of adolescents and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Participants will be asked questions about their experiences with the emotion regulation of their adolescent/young adult children.
Each focus group will take about an hour and the information you provide will be treated confidentially. There will also be morning or afternoon tea depending on what time best suits everyone. Please let me know if you are interested in participating! :)"
Please visit my website to contact Damian as his email is on this.
Adult on the Autism Spectrum conducting research into sex and adults on the Autism Spectrum
As more and more adults are now starting to accept their Autism Spectrum diagnosis so a new phase of research begins. Kat Stork-Brett at the University of Queensland is now researching adults on the Autism Spectrum and sex, relationships, romance etc. From around the world and here in Australia, many adults on the Autism Spectrum simply struggle or give up in thinking that they will find a partner or enter a relationship. Hopefully Kat's research will change this?
The topic of sex and relationships for adults on the Autism Spectrum is a new phase of research and to assist Kat with her research I have provided the link to participate in her survey. Kat has asked me to mention her research and so I thought I would post her research and a link to it on my blog. Although the issue of sex can be a difficult area to discuss, why should adults on the Autism Spectrum miss out on finding relationships and succeeding in dating if nobody understands the difficulties and frustrations which they encounter?
The link to Kat's research can be accessed by opening the following link. http://exp.psy.uq.edu.au/sexy Information will remain confidential and for more information concerning this topic please visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults or contact Kat Stork-Brett directly. Her survey also provides feedback information on areas in your own life as an adult on the Autism Spectrum where you encounter difficulty. Kat would be very grateful I am sure if you help out in her research and the adult Autism Community.
The topic of sex and relationships for adults on the Autism Spectrum is a new phase of research and to assist Kat with her research I have provided the link to participate in her survey. Kat has asked me to mention her research and so I thought I would post her research and a link to it on my blog. Although the issue of sex can be a difficult area to discuss, why should adults on the Autism Spectrum miss out on finding relationships and succeeding in dating if nobody understands the difficulties and frustrations which they encounter?
The link to Kat's research can be accessed by opening the following link. http://exp.psy.uq.edu.au/sexy Information will remain confidential and for more information concerning this topic please visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults or contact Kat Stork-Brett directly. Her survey also provides feedback information on areas in your own life as an adult on the Autism Spectrum where you encounter difficulty. Kat would be very grateful I am sure if you help out in her research and the adult Autism Community.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
A positive change is finally happening
I would like to begin this post by thanking firstly certain people in the University of Queensland for allowing me to attend St Edmunds College this afternoon and for Asperger Services Australia for supplying me with business cards. I spoke in front of 30 students on the Autism Spectrum with the assistance of a fellow Aspie. I was moved to see and was very proud of these students. They had varying interests and abilities. One liked computers, another engineering, another a carpenter, and another liked hospitality. As I spoke to the students, they listened with interest about my experiences of being an adult on the Autism Spectrum. I mentioned positives for Aspies and how they can be employed and make a contribution to society.
I spoke with each and every body individually. I wanted to give them hope, talk about their special interests and hope that the future of advocacy will be positive for them. These boys were mostly in denial of being on the Autism Spectrum but after I spoke with them they felt a sense of liberation. They knew they no longer were in darkness with no role models who had been there before. It was a great afternoon. I sold two books also! I hope that I can speak at more schools. I felt relaxed and the words and experiences flowed. The teachers were grateful I came. Things are really moving forward. I am proud of the future generations of Aspies and some of the adults on the Autism Spectrum I know now. No longer is there this horrible darkness as much as there used to be. We are uniting, not to take over the world but to be accepted, break free of the chains of ignorance and discrimination.
I would like to speak at any school that reads this blog post. I have had some interest from schools in Toowoomba and on the Sunshine Coast. I need as many schools as possible to contact me. I would like to help and provide support for future generations of Aspies. It is just a matter of waiting to hear from more people.
I spoke with each and every body individually. I wanted to give them hope, talk about their special interests and hope that the future of advocacy will be positive for them. These boys were mostly in denial of being on the Autism Spectrum but after I spoke with them they felt a sense of liberation. They knew they no longer were in darkness with no role models who had been there before. It was a great afternoon. I sold two books also! I hope that I can speak at more schools. I felt relaxed and the words and experiences flowed. The teachers were grateful I came. Things are really moving forward. I am proud of the future generations of Aspies and some of the adults on the Autism Spectrum I know now. No longer is there this horrible darkness as much as there used to be. We are uniting, not to take over the world but to be accepted, break free of the chains of ignorance and discrimination.
I would like to speak at any school that reads this blog post. I have had some interest from schools in Toowoomba and on the Sunshine Coast. I need as many schools as possible to contact me. I would like to help and provide support for future generations of Aspies. It is just a matter of waiting to hear from more people.
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