When I try to get on with my life, I try to know when I should or should not mention Asperger Syndrome. In some situations I feel I need to but in other times, it simply is not necessary. It is a matter of knowing who to tell and whom not to tell. The best way to see raising awareness, is to think of the small pockets in society where awareness may go a long way. Take for instance the friendly old lady at the bakery, an approachable contact you may meet when you are walking your dog or just someone whom you consider may be opened minded. I have found that having my own business card is a means for a person to look up later some information about Autism rather than going through the often tiring job of trying to explain it all of the time.
I do think attitudes can be changed and providing awareness where you can is often a good way. We need to show Autism positively more so than negatively. It can be done. Advocacy is not only just with Dr Tony Attwood, other adults and myself but it is also with you. Every individual whether they be friend or family member who may know of someone on the Autism Spectrum can themselves be an advocate. All you need is to create your own business card and on this card perhaps have a link to a website such as Google or Dr Tony Attwood etc outlining Asperger Syndrome. It may go a long way to help raise awareness.
Together we can all be advocates and bring forward a positive message and at the same time help adults and children with Autism as well.
At conferences people may not feel comfortable with asking questions so it is important that you put them in touch with someone who can answer them. This is not only people at conferences but a person you may even meet in a supermarket who you may strike up a friendly chat with. Just by handing them a card and saying "Oh thanks for the chat but before I go, I thought you might be interested in this card". Please do not force the card onto them but merely hand it to them in a way that hopefully they will look at it later. Maybe Dr Attwood could produce cards and hand it out to adults who contact his office so we can help get the message out there? There are some useful links out there and the best source of information is those who are experts in Asperger Syndrome. I refer to Dr Tony Attwood's website as he is a primary source. There are other primary sources out there and it is important I feel that you encourage a person to look at a primary source than someone who is not. The primary source knows the best and most appropriate answers and provides the most accurate information. Also if Dr Tony Attwood visits your town please do visit him and hear him speak. He has a wealth of information and he is doing his best to get the message out there. It is often hard to talk to Dr Attwood and sadly like many people he is only one man. He does answer emails at times and I try to send him information which I feel may be of use to him. At times I know and hope that he is able to read information that not only me but others within the Autism Community send to him. I understand he is just too busy to reply. I am hoping to touch base with Dr Attwood in the not too distant future but feel as his time is often scarce that perhaps email is the best form of communication. We can all play our part where we can in raising awareness of Asperger Syndrome within the wider community.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
What will happen after my parents die
I am not really very comfortable in writing this post but I believe I need to compose and post it. I am often very concerned of what will happen to me after my parents do pass on. My siblings have their own families and I don't want to appear a burden to them. Also not being married nor in a relationship, I guess I will need to live on my own or at the very worst go into some kind of residential care.
I am often afraid of thinking about the future. I am concerned as to know what will happen to me and more importantly when my own time comes to depart this earth. Will I die alone? Will I be lonely in my latter years? Will there be services to help me and other adults on the Autism Spectrum as they too get older?
The future seems precarious when you don't fit into the conventional mold and framework of society. Often not being able to afford comfortable accommodation and more importantly being socially isolated does tend to make you feel concerned as you get older. What is more important is your own physical and mental health.
I don't like the thought of thinking about life after my parents are no longer here but life does change and such concerns do become a reality. I really feel at times a huge burden upon me that I should be doing more with my life or I should somehow be making decisions to think about my future. For adults with Autism we need a life insurance policy. We need a strategy after an age of 60 to consider how we will spend the rest of our lives. Some of us may never get married and may be chose or prefer to live on our own. As we get older the means of looking after ourselves will inevitably deteriorate and someone needs to be responsible when we can no longer function.
Adults with Autism need to be accommodated and services need to be implemented as soon as possible. Perhaps Autism socities need to look more into providing services for adults which assist in the area of accommodation, lifestyle management, and health and well being. I can only hope that my health holds up in the meantime and perhaps my circumstances will change in the future. I am not sure if I will ever enter a relationship again or be married or live on my own. I do know my time will come but in the meantime I need to look after myself as best I can. I also need to look after my parents as best I can also. Who knows what the future holds??!!
I am often afraid of thinking about the future. I am concerned as to know what will happen to me and more importantly when my own time comes to depart this earth. Will I die alone? Will I be lonely in my latter years? Will there be services to help me and other adults on the Autism Spectrum as they too get older?
The future seems precarious when you don't fit into the conventional mold and framework of society. Often not being able to afford comfortable accommodation and more importantly being socially isolated does tend to make you feel concerned as you get older. What is more important is your own physical and mental health.
I don't like the thought of thinking about life after my parents are no longer here but life does change and such concerns do become a reality. I really feel at times a huge burden upon me that I should be doing more with my life or I should somehow be making decisions to think about my future. For adults with Autism we need a life insurance policy. We need a strategy after an age of 60 to consider how we will spend the rest of our lives. Some of us may never get married and may be chose or prefer to live on our own. As we get older the means of looking after ourselves will inevitably deteriorate and someone needs to be responsible when we can no longer function.
Adults with Autism need to be accommodated and services need to be implemented as soon as possible. Perhaps Autism socities need to look more into providing services for adults which assist in the area of accommodation, lifestyle management, and health and well being. I can only hope that my health holds up in the meantime and perhaps my circumstances will change in the future. I am not sure if I will ever enter a relationship again or be married or live on my own. I do know my time will come but in the meantime I need to look after myself as best I can. I also need to look after my parents as best I can also. Who knows what the future holds??!!
The way people respond
It is often difficult getting your head around people in the world today. For instance people seem to think they are invincible and self sufficient until a natural disaster hits them and suddenly everything changes. Community strengthens and people realise they need to depend on each other during difficult times. I guess you could say there is nothing like a natural disaster to bring people together!
Yesterday I was in the university library and I decided to ask a fellow staff member how she experienced the floods. Her house was totally devastated by the floods in Brisbane and when simply asking her how she got on, another staff member who in my opinion was somewhat rude, tried to make out that I was stupid or something in that I did not know. Rather than merely being concerned and expressing some concern as to how this person's house was devastated by the flood I felt that I did not need to be shown up or treated as if I was stupid. I just don't know what it is with people at times. Why do they need to be so defensive and rude when you try and be concerned or interested as to how somebody got on. We live in a world that encourages us to be self sufficient and yet when it comes to a time of unity it takes a natural disaster or for a crisis to bring people together. The western world seems to fail in the respect of lacking in cohesion and unity.
There is nothing worse than being in a public place and something happens to you. You virtually have to be in pain or have blood streaming from you somewhere before people actually notice that you need help. It makes me sad when I see elderly people who have been hurt by some senseless thug who beats them up for the mere amount of $2 in their wallet. Where are people when this person needs help? In my own situation there is nothing worse than having a fall. Recently I slipped on the driveway which was wet and I had no control of this event. I remember landing on my behind and I remember my arm being very sore. I had to rely on my intelligence to wonder if I had broke it or damaged a tendon. Luckily it has healed now but imagine what it is like if you are an elderly person and you have a fall. Imagine how scary it would be? Is there anybody to help or assist for a person in this situation? I truly believe the world is becoming selfish despite all of the excuses people give for not believing they aren't selfish. We are all responsible. I do not rank myself above anybody else but is society losing the plot. Are there going to be more natural disasters to make people realise that we are all human and we need to exist as a supportive community?
I get tired of people who always think they need to put on some kind of facade when I talk to them or when they respond to other people. It is truly shallow and unnecessary why not just be straight to the point rather than wear some stupid bravado mask? The world is over populated also and we need to be mindful of how we treat the planet. What is happening in Egypt is obviously the result of people fed up with a regime that is not listening to them. I am not really sure of the underlying motives. Humans are not immortal and they do have faults and the sooner they realise this then they will begin to understand the importance of existing in the world around them! Also I would like to watch movies that have depth. I don't want to know how good a lover the actor or actress is, I just want to see good dialogue with an in depth plot. Perhaps Hollywood needs a wake up call also!
I also would like to purchase quality items please. I am tired of buying products which do not last long. I would prefer to pay for something that is tested and lasts. This applies to shoes with poorly designed souls, electrical appliances which last for a few months and then crash etc. Also it is good to see a job done properly. I am sick and tired of half arsed jobs which causes some kind of breakdown or problem later. It is best to get someone to do the job properly than swan around to cause some inevitable problem later. Really something can be done! If a job needs to be done properly then hire an Aspie as they will test it thoroughly to ensure it works properly! Also when I do a job, it is ok to talk but when the talking of other staff gets in the way of me doing my job then I find this very annoying and inconsiderate. Surely productivity is important in a work environment more so than gossip and obstruction??!
Yesterday I was in the university library and I decided to ask a fellow staff member how she experienced the floods. Her house was totally devastated by the floods in Brisbane and when simply asking her how she got on, another staff member who in my opinion was somewhat rude, tried to make out that I was stupid or something in that I did not know. Rather than merely being concerned and expressing some concern as to how this person's house was devastated by the flood I felt that I did not need to be shown up or treated as if I was stupid. I just don't know what it is with people at times. Why do they need to be so defensive and rude when you try and be concerned or interested as to how somebody got on. We live in a world that encourages us to be self sufficient and yet when it comes to a time of unity it takes a natural disaster or for a crisis to bring people together. The western world seems to fail in the respect of lacking in cohesion and unity.
There is nothing worse than being in a public place and something happens to you. You virtually have to be in pain or have blood streaming from you somewhere before people actually notice that you need help. It makes me sad when I see elderly people who have been hurt by some senseless thug who beats them up for the mere amount of $2 in their wallet. Where are people when this person needs help? In my own situation there is nothing worse than having a fall. Recently I slipped on the driveway which was wet and I had no control of this event. I remember landing on my behind and I remember my arm being very sore. I had to rely on my intelligence to wonder if I had broke it or damaged a tendon. Luckily it has healed now but imagine what it is like if you are an elderly person and you have a fall. Imagine how scary it would be? Is there anybody to help or assist for a person in this situation? I truly believe the world is becoming selfish despite all of the excuses people give for not believing they aren't selfish. We are all responsible. I do not rank myself above anybody else but is society losing the plot. Are there going to be more natural disasters to make people realise that we are all human and we need to exist as a supportive community?
I get tired of people who always think they need to put on some kind of facade when I talk to them or when they respond to other people. It is truly shallow and unnecessary why not just be straight to the point rather than wear some stupid bravado mask? The world is over populated also and we need to be mindful of how we treat the planet. What is happening in Egypt is obviously the result of people fed up with a regime that is not listening to them. I am not really sure of the underlying motives. Humans are not immortal and they do have faults and the sooner they realise this then they will begin to understand the importance of existing in the world around them! Also I would like to watch movies that have depth. I don't want to know how good a lover the actor or actress is, I just want to see good dialogue with an in depth plot. Perhaps Hollywood needs a wake up call also!
I also would like to purchase quality items please. I am tired of buying products which do not last long. I would prefer to pay for something that is tested and lasts. This applies to shoes with poorly designed souls, electrical appliances which last for a few months and then crash etc. Also it is good to see a job done properly. I am sick and tired of half arsed jobs which causes some kind of breakdown or problem later. It is best to get someone to do the job properly than swan around to cause some inevitable problem later. Really something can be done! If a job needs to be done properly then hire an Aspie as they will test it thoroughly to ensure it works properly! Also when I do a job, it is ok to talk but when the talking of other staff gets in the way of me doing my job then I find this very annoying and inconsiderate. Surely productivity is important in a work environment more so than gossip and obstruction??!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
This generation
I believe one of the biggest stumbling blocks in understanding and seeing Autism in adults is the lack of awareness within the evolutionary process. In my own case, people do not understand me because such people have been socialised in a system which does not tend to modify or attempt to embrace the very symptoms of Autism. As an adult on the Autism Spectrum I find that being yourself people often seem to react either in a hostile or dismissive manner. Why is he different? Why does he behave the way he does? Why does he think differently and does he intend to? These are some questions I believe people may think or act but the difficulty arises of reading too much into situations so you never really can get your point across even if you feel you need to.
As an adult with Autism, I find people very confusing to understand the greater percentage of time? Why do people say things and not mean them? Why when I look like everyone else do people seem to think that there is nothing wrong with me and believe I am making it all up? It just seems impossible even if you utter a word or you choose to be silent. People also seem to keep away from me like I am a Leper. What disease do you have?? I often find myself on the outer with people and them just not seeing that Autism exists within adults. At times you feel like you need a loud speaker just to get your message across.
When looking at future generations, early intervention does help in raising awareness at an early age. People know the person has Autism and know how she or he may work and this helps them through life. Again I don't know and I am only speculating. What is it like for adults with Autism? Where is our protecting scaffolding when we need it? We can only hope that future thinking will change and more tolerance with flourish.
As an adult with Autism, I find people very confusing to understand the greater percentage of time? Why do people say things and not mean them? Why when I look like everyone else do people seem to think that there is nothing wrong with me and believe I am making it all up? It just seems impossible even if you utter a word or you choose to be silent. People also seem to keep away from me like I am a Leper. What disease do you have?? I often find myself on the outer with people and them just not seeing that Autism exists within adults. At times you feel like you need a loud speaker just to get your message across.
When looking at future generations, early intervention does help in raising awareness at an early age. People know the person has Autism and know how she or he may work and this helps them through life. Again I don't know and I am only speculating. What is it like for adults with Autism? Where is our protecting scaffolding when we need it? We can only hope that future thinking will change and more tolerance with flourish.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Feeling sick and trying to get help
I can remember once being in primary school and feeling sick. I did not know or more say I feared I was going to throw up in the classroom. I can remember feeling whether or not I was going to throw up and what reaction would others think if I did so? I tried to hang on and think that the thought of throwing up would go away and despite trying to cope my best, I ended up being sick in the class. I can remember the reaction of the other children at the time. They found me repulsive and one even said "eew keep away from me!". The teacher did intervene and I was escorted outside of the classroom onto the school verandah. I was given a drink of water and asked if my parents should be contacted. I cannot remember clearly but I think I actually had to walk home from school. I just had to endure what happened to me as best I could. I can remember spending periods in the school sick bay and having days off from school for I had problems with feeling sick. At the time nothing was known. In high school, I had to take a week off sick and the teachers and students wanted to know if I was returning to the school and were disappointed as a result that I had to return. No wonder I keep to myself now!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Letter to Minds and Hearts regarding advice "The Dating Game"
I don't have all the answers and all adults on the Autism Spectrum are different but this is the way I see it in myself.
Dear Minds and Hearts
The work you are doing is highly commendable. What I believe is difficult is that male Aspies are disadvantaged by either being unemployed, lacking confidence, self esteem and social status. The problem also is being able to sell yourself for a potential date which is similar to a job interview if this makes sense. I think role playing is not a bad method to use but I think more so there needs to be some kind of script which can be implemented within potential dates. Also what techniques can be used in determining whether the Asperger male wants a relationship or to begin with a friendship and see how things develop. From what I can see there is more possibility for Asperger men in dating women who are from different ethnic backgrounds. By this I mean women who are Asian, European or from other non western countries who may have some difficulty in understanding other cultures and therefore more tolerant to men who may in themselves find dating difficult. In order to improve the likelihood of finding a date a possible strategy would be to find or encourage Asperger men to join groups at the University of Queensland or within Brisbane which have a greater likelihood of foreign women. What then could happen would be for perhaps some kind of group outing where or other event to encourage interaction. It is not easy but perhaps some emphasis on attending some kind of social event. I would be happy to date an Asian woman or ethnic woman if I had the opportunity but I have a lack of self esteem and confidence. In 2008, I was in a long distance relationship with an Asperger woman from the United States and despite meeting her for 14 days and being in touch for a little over 1 year, it was to end as an immigration difficulty. I find it hard to know whether I have the energy for another relationship as the one I had been in had intimacy but sadly immigration wise it was just not possible. There seems also seems to be some adults on the Autism Spectrum within a long distance relationship.
Rather than focus on learning facial gestures and role plays, I think there needs to be more of a discussion as to what the difficulties are for Asperger men. I find the group uncomfortable in that some of the members seem and I don't like saying this, a little lower functioning than myself. I find I am not really able to connect with them and I don't really feel comfortable doing role plays in front of them. What would be better would be to see movie clips or perhaps find out from men who have Asperger Syndrome who are in relationships how and what strategies they used to enter a relationship. I know of some Asperger men who are in relationships with Asian women not that this really matters. I also find Internet Dating websites really a waste of time as more sleazy or competitive men seem to dominate such groups.
I thought I would provide some useful strategies in finding women
1. Do a CPR or First Aid Course
2. Put out some kind of expression of interest or dating site for men with Asperger Syndrome in Brisbane (focus on strengths)
3. Organise some socials through Minds and Hearts
4. Develop techniques for making friends, developing a lighter side, and safety phrases
5. Organise event for which you could ask single friends to come a long (networking is one option)
I think in all honesty that Minds and Hearts would benefit from setting up a dating agency for adults with Asperger Syndrome but this would need careful thought. I am happy to talk with you about some ideas and suggestions I have and there is another adult with Asperger Syndrome who may also have some useful suggestions.
I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow or whenever you can call
Kind regards
Garry Burge
Dear Minds and Hearts
The work you are doing is highly commendable. What I believe is difficult is that male Aspies are disadvantaged by either being unemployed, lacking confidence, self esteem and social status. The problem also is being able to sell yourself for a potential date which is similar to a job interview if this makes sense. I think role playing is not a bad method to use but I think more so there needs to be some kind of script which can be implemented within potential dates. Also what techniques can be used in determining whether the Asperger male wants a relationship or to begin with a friendship and see how things develop. From what I can see there is more possibility for Asperger men in dating women who are from different ethnic backgrounds. By this I mean women who are Asian, European or from other non western countries who may have some difficulty in understanding other cultures and therefore more tolerant to men who may in themselves find dating difficult. In order to improve the likelihood of finding a date a possible strategy would be to find or encourage Asperger men to join groups at the University of Queensland or within Brisbane which have a greater likelihood of foreign women. What then could happen would be for perhaps some kind of group outing where or other event to encourage interaction. It is not easy but perhaps some emphasis on attending some kind of social event. I would be happy to date an Asian woman or ethnic woman if I had the opportunity but I have a lack of self esteem and confidence. In 2008, I was in a long distance relationship with an Asperger woman from the United States and despite meeting her for 14 days and being in touch for a little over 1 year, it was to end as an immigration difficulty. I find it hard to know whether I have the energy for another relationship as the one I had been in had intimacy but sadly immigration wise it was just not possible. There seems also seems to be some adults on the Autism Spectrum within a long distance relationship.
Rather than focus on learning facial gestures and role plays, I think there needs to be more of a discussion as to what the difficulties are for Asperger men. I find the group uncomfortable in that some of the members seem and I don't like saying this, a little lower functioning than myself. I find I am not really able to connect with them and I don't really feel comfortable doing role plays in front of them. What would be better would be to see movie clips or perhaps find out from men who have Asperger Syndrome who are in relationships how and what strategies they used to enter a relationship. I know of some Asperger men who are in relationships with Asian women not that this really matters. I also find Internet Dating websites really a waste of time as more sleazy or competitive men seem to dominate such groups.
I thought I would provide some useful strategies in finding women
1. Do a CPR or First Aid Course
2. Put out some kind of expression of interest or dating site for men with Asperger Syndrome in Brisbane (focus on strengths)
3. Organise some socials through Minds and Hearts
4. Develop techniques for making friends, developing a lighter side, and safety phrases
5. Organise event for which you could ask single friends to come a long (networking is one option)
I think in all honesty that Minds and Hearts would benefit from setting up a dating agency for adults with Asperger Syndrome but this would need careful thought. I am happy to talk with you about some ideas and suggestions I have and there is another adult with Asperger Syndrome who may also have some useful suggestions.
I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow or whenever you can call
Kind regards
Garry Burge
Predators and bullies
As an adult with Asperger Syndrome I needed to be protected against bullies and predators as well as some other persons on the Autism Spectrum. In some instances I have heard of persons on the Autism Spectrum being exposed to bullies and predators and how such experiences have created a very negative and devastating effect on their lives.
To complement this post, I have included a video from Arman Khodaei who is an adult with Autism on his experiences of being bullied and exposed to predators. As Arman puts together very useful and informative videos, I would encourage you to watch and listen to his story.
It is unfortunate that persons with Autism are exposed to such kind of persons and what is very sad is the psychological and emotional abuse which also occurs. Parents need to protect and safeguard their children and the general community has to assist and safeguard anyone especially persons on the Autism Spectrum from unpleasant and unsavory situations from occurring.
Dr Tony Attwood describes how predators can pray upon persons with Autism because people with Asperger Syndrome are especially vulnerable and naive to certain situations. Not have friends and often a safe network of persons to protect them, the person with Autism can become exposed and in the line of targeting from predators. Often not having support and assistance can leave the person with Autism exposed to such abuse and sadly the scaring and the damage may never be overcome from the unpleasant experience. Please watch Arman's youtube channel as he is a very good speaker and his videos are very informative. I would encourage anyone to help Arman raise more awareness of his videos into the wider community. Someone needs to speak on behalf of persons with Autism and Arman does a fine effort in doing so.
It can be difficult for the person with Autism to stand up to bullies and predators and often just in order to cope the person with Autism just caves in order believes the predator or bully may be a friend when in fact they have other motives.
To complement this post, I have included a video from Arman Khodaei who is an adult with Autism on his experiences of being bullied and exposed to predators. As Arman puts together very useful and informative videos, I would encourage you to watch and listen to his story.
It is unfortunate that persons with Autism are exposed to such kind of persons and what is very sad is the psychological and emotional abuse which also occurs. Parents need to protect and safeguard their children and the general community has to assist and safeguard anyone especially persons on the Autism Spectrum from unpleasant and unsavory situations from occurring.
Dr Tony Attwood describes how predators can pray upon persons with Autism because people with Asperger Syndrome are especially vulnerable and naive to certain situations. Not have friends and often a safe network of persons to protect them, the person with Autism can become exposed and in the line of targeting from predators. Often not having support and assistance can leave the person with Autism exposed to such abuse and sadly the scaring and the damage may never be overcome from the unpleasant experience. Please watch Arman's youtube channel as he is a very good speaker and his videos are very informative. I would encourage anyone to help Arman raise more awareness of his videos into the wider community. Someone needs to speak on behalf of persons with Autism and Arman does a fine effort in doing so.
It can be difficult for the person with Autism to stand up to bullies and predators and often just in order to cope the person with Autism just caves in order believes the predator or bully may be a friend when in fact they have other motives.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Dealing with uncertainity and over reacting to uncertain situations
One of the problems I have is dealing with uncertainty. I tend to think of the worst situations possible to situations I have no control over. For instance rather than understanding that someone may be busy or not be able to get back to me straight away, I tend to obsesses too much and think the worst scenario. Patience is something I struggle with. I am not good at dealing with uncertainty and at times I can sabotage a situation just by simply not being patient.
In such scenarios a simple remedy of trying to find 'frank' answers or responses to times of uncertainty can often be difficult to manage. A person may not always get back to me straight away and I often assume the worst. In some instances I may even think the person does not want to be friends or to keep in touch. I guess when I take things literally I do not always understand that there may be gray areas and people are not always upfront or on time like I am.
Uncertainty is often extremely overwhelming and finding coping mechanisms often can be a struggle. Some people are good at holding back and being patient to let a situation develop but I tend to try and obsess or perhaps manipulate a situation and end up sometimes sabotaging it as a result. Not all adults experience this but it seems I have struggles with being patient!
In such scenarios a simple remedy of trying to find 'frank' answers or responses to times of uncertainty can often be difficult to manage. A person may not always get back to me straight away and I often assume the worst. In some instances I may even think the person does not want to be friends or to keep in touch. I guess when I take things literally I do not always understand that there may be gray areas and people are not always upfront or on time like I am.
Uncertainty is often extremely overwhelming and finding coping mechanisms often can be a struggle. Some people are good at holding back and being patient to let a situation develop but I tend to try and obsess or perhaps manipulate a situation and end up sometimes sabotaging it as a result. Not all adults experience this but it seems I have struggles with being patient!
Dealing with social situations
I find social situations very difficult. Just being around crowds within a sea of faces can often be overwhelming and facial blindness increases. I have often been told that I need to get out more, try new activities and develop interests. However, the biggest difficulty is socialising with people and being accepted. I can try very hard to fit in with people but taking in all the factors of reading body language and also getting mentally exhausting just makes the whole concept of socializing overwhelming.
I find stress if minimized can reduce anxiety but it is the uncertainty and unpredictability that makes things extremely difficult. Change is also hard to handle and in my room for instance if an over fussy parent cleans up my room, I can get really stressed out as I know where everything is and when I note take I often find it easier to write on bits of paper rather than keep a diary. In a diary I have to find the correct date, time and often the diary may not have a large enough entry and I find it confusing if note taking exceeds the day for which the activity may need to be attended.
Please listen to Dr Tony Attwood interview on his website by double clicking on the title of this post as Dr Attwood describes Asperger Syndrome.
I find stress if minimized can reduce anxiety but it is the uncertainty and unpredictability that makes things extremely difficult. Change is also hard to handle and in my room for instance if an over fussy parent cleans up my room, I can get really stressed out as I know where everything is and when I note take I often find it easier to write on bits of paper rather than keep a diary. In a diary I have to find the correct date, time and often the diary may not have a large enough entry and I find it confusing if note taking exceeds the day for which the activity may need to be attended.
Please listen to Dr Tony Attwood interview on his website by double clicking on the title of this post as Dr Attwood describes Asperger Syndrome.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Budgeting as a person with Asperger Syndrome
Some adults find budgeting and looking after their own financial affairs very difficult. Not knowing where to spend, how much or how little to spend and balancing budget and saving can be difficult.
What then is a strategy to assist adults with managing their financial situation?
The simplest strategy would be to prioritize where money needs to be spent. Adults on the Autism Spectrum very from spending habit and financial situation but let us first look at the essential expenditures.
These include
1. Rent
2. Running a car
3. Paying essential bills
4. Expenditure and items
Adults with Autism may be especially vulnerable to being ripped off by merchants or persons who may prey on our weaknesses. Often times it can be difficult to stand up or know where you may have been quite literally ripped off. A simple saving strategy or expenditure outlay may be considered. As some adults and this includes a high percentage live at home with their parents, saving money can be possible but for other adults they can be unfortunately ripped off by greedy landlords or placed into situations where they cannot afford to purchase items of interest for simply having insufficient money.
Some strategies may be for the adult with Autism to know or differentiate between necessary expenditures and luxury outlays. Do you really need to spend money on items you do not use? Are you really paying too much for something which could be cheaper? Learning a basic bookkeeping course or perhaps a course designed to assist adults with daily and monthly expenditure may be of major importance. Too often some adults with Autism are just left vulnerable to being ripped off or in worst instances predatory behaviour.
In my own situation from learning basic bookkeeping when I was younger, I learned where and how to look after and know how to manage money. A person cannot be skin flint but it is necessary to know where costs can be outlayed and how money can be saved. If anyone is interested I can draw up a brochure which may be able to assist within the area of financial management.
What then is a strategy to assist adults with managing their financial situation?
The simplest strategy would be to prioritize where money needs to be spent. Adults on the Autism Spectrum very from spending habit and financial situation but let us first look at the essential expenditures.
These include
1. Rent
2. Running a car
3. Paying essential bills
4. Expenditure and items
Adults with Autism may be especially vulnerable to being ripped off by merchants or persons who may prey on our weaknesses. Often times it can be difficult to stand up or know where you may have been quite literally ripped off. A simple saving strategy or expenditure outlay may be considered. As some adults and this includes a high percentage live at home with their parents, saving money can be possible but for other adults they can be unfortunately ripped off by greedy landlords or placed into situations where they cannot afford to purchase items of interest for simply having insufficient money.
Some strategies may be for the adult with Autism to know or differentiate between necessary expenditures and luxury outlays. Do you really need to spend money on items you do not use? Are you really paying too much for something which could be cheaper? Learning a basic bookkeeping course or perhaps a course designed to assist adults with daily and monthly expenditure may be of major importance. Too often some adults with Autism are just left vulnerable to being ripped off or in worst instances predatory behaviour.
In my own situation from learning basic bookkeeping when I was younger, I learned where and how to look after and know how to manage money. A person cannot be skin flint but it is necessary to know where costs can be outlayed and how money can be saved. If anyone is interested I can draw up a brochure which may be able to assist within the area of financial management.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Why I hated Secondary School
There were several reasons why I detested secondary school. The bullying was just a part of it but it was the teachers.
I was told the following.
1. Mr Burge can you come out to the front of the classroom and inform the class that you cheated on your art assignment and why should the class be marked down because of you?
2. Received 2% out of 20% for a Geography Assignment on the Sydney basin and despite my parents intervening teacher still criticised me and said how dense I was and why I should be destined for the scrap heap
3. Constant criticism for believing I had ability to go onto senior level grades 11 and 12 and that I had no brains.
It has been difficult to move on in some ways because the 5 years of having to endure this crap meant that it emotionally effected my confidence levels.
I really needed to write a book which I did to talk about how my situation affected me and I feel somewhat better for having done so
The positives now are that
I was able to find employment
Live life to the best of my ability and accept what I have and who I am
Go onto university and battle through to obtain a Bachelor of Arts Degree majoring in Politics and Sociology
Having wonderful friends and some on the Autism Spectrum who are great people and provide friendship and support.
I hope that schooling changes and support and early intervention happens for children as believe me the experiences I endured just do not help when you reach adulthood.
I was told the following.
1. Mr Burge can you come out to the front of the classroom and inform the class that you cheated on your art assignment and why should the class be marked down because of you?
2. Received 2% out of 20% for a Geography Assignment on the Sydney basin and despite my parents intervening teacher still criticised me and said how dense I was and why I should be destined for the scrap heap
3. Constant criticism for believing I had ability to go onto senior level grades 11 and 12 and that I had no brains.
It has been difficult to move on in some ways because the 5 years of having to endure this crap meant that it emotionally effected my confidence levels.
I really needed to write a book which I did to talk about how my situation affected me and I feel somewhat better for having done so
The positives now are that
I was able to find employment
Live life to the best of my ability and accept what I have and who I am
Go onto university and battle through to obtain a Bachelor of Arts Degree majoring in Politics and Sociology
Having wonderful friends and some on the Autism Spectrum who are great people and provide friendship and support.
I hope that schooling changes and support and early intervention happens for children as believe me the experiences I endured just do not help when you reach adulthood.
Getting your message across
It can often be very difficult at times to get your message across to people and to also defend yourself in times of difficult. Wrestling with anxiety, stronger personalities and how the other person may respond can often be very distressing. This is just not people on the Autism Spectrum but for all people in general.
As an advocate of Asperger Syndrome, I often cannot understand why I need to follow some kind of framework or adopt some professional approach when enlightening people about having Asperger Syndrome. Can I not just be myself. I am not always going to please everyone in how I get my message across and my verbal delivery is one such example. I believe in not beating around the bush and telling things as they are which people can often find difficult to handle.
Some adults on the Autism Spectrum do very well at selling speeches and being good public speakers and this is a rare gift that it is owed to them and which they deserve. I don't compare myself to other adults but rather I am thankful to them in areas I am not really good at. As adults on the Autism Spectrum we all have our own attributes and we can be thankful that some adults excel in some areas and others in other areas.
I would like people to read and visit Arman's blog by double clicking in the Title Post of this blog. Arman has a lot to say and he is doing a great job in getting the message out there about Autism. Please take the time to visit his blog and be enlightened by the good work he does.
As an advocate of Asperger Syndrome, I often cannot understand why I need to follow some kind of framework or adopt some professional approach when enlightening people about having Asperger Syndrome. Can I not just be myself. I am not always going to please everyone in how I get my message across and my verbal delivery is one such example. I believe in not beating around the bush and telling things as they are which people can often find difficult to handle.
Some adults on the Autism Spectrum do very well at selling speeches and being good public speakers and this is a rare gift that it is owed to them and which they deserve. I don't compare myself to other adults but rather I am thankful to them in areas I am not really good at. As adults on the Autism Spectrum we all have our own attributes and we can be thankful that some adults excel in some areas and others in other areas.
I would like people to read and visit Arman's blog by double clicking in the Title Post of this blog. Arman has a lot to say and he is doing a great job in getting the message out there about Autism. Please take the time to visit his blog and be enlightened by the good work he does.
Crying for help when the world is cold
As I often experience higher levels of anxiety than most people around me, it can be difficult to always know exactly how to ask for help. A few years ago I was advised by a family friend to go bike riding. This he believed would assist me to get some exercise and help get me out of the house. He was even so kind to give me his son's bicycle which I rode around the streets.
This bike unfortunately had a short life and I decided to purchase an 18 Speed Malvern Star. I used to ride bicycles all of my life and was quick to realise the balance required in order to have the fun and enjoyment with bike riding. To cut a long story short, I was riding a long the road one time and this car was encroaching on my space. To avoid the car and traveling very fast, I tried to avoid the car and mounted a driveway entrance. I thought I knew what I was doing but little did I realise that I was to encounter a serious accident. Suddenly I hit the driveway entrance and I remember going over the front of the handle bars, and landing on the cement pedestrian path beside the road. I saw a piece out of my leg, my right wrist hurt and I could see blood on my shirt and dripping on the pathway. My immediate reaction was to rescue my bike which remained unscathed. As blood dripped from my chin and leaving red spots a long the ground, I was scared and alarmed at what happened to me. Nobody helped me, as I walked into the nearby shopping centre, people stared at me, and offered no help or comfort. I continued to walk and I walked into the MP's electorate office and said I need help! Luckily there was a Doctor's Surgery and my chin was sewed up, my wrist bound and my knee covered and cleaned. My father was called and he came down to take me back home. I was working at a library at the time as a volunteer and I continued to devote my service and more importantly try to get on with life as best I could. When I drove the car in Brisbane, a man abused me and said you should be off the road you d-head! I think you know the words I mean?!
When I went through depression which was more so heightened levels of anxiety. I didn't know what to do. I was scared of the levels being so high that there was no escape. Who could I turn to and who could understand me? I ended up going to the Doctor's Surgery to be prescribed Cipramil to lower my anxiety levels. I just wondered what was the point of life and why should I bother getting up when I knew I was unemployable and didn't know what my purpose to life was and what I should be doing.
Often dealing with Doctors can be very anxiety provoking. Often I think the worst. My recent slip on the driveway was an exercise in thinking and assuming the worst. My arm was in pain. Would it need to be amputated if circulation stopped? I just have to think to myself that everything is not so drastic. I don't know why Brisbane can be so cold at times with people and their reactions. I remember an elderly friend telling me after he was bashed on his driveway that despite being 83 nobody helped him as he tried to stagger to his feet again. I really wonder what is happening in the world and why people can be so cold.
This bike unfortunately had a short life and I decided to purchase an 18 Speed Malvern Star. I used to ride bicycles all of my life and was quick to realise the balance required in order to have the fun and enjoyment with bike riding. To cut a long story short, I was riding a long the road one time and this car was encroaching on my space. To avoid the car and traveling very fast, I tried to avoid the car and mounted a driveway entrance. I thought I knew what I was doing but little did I realise that I was to encounter a serious accident. Suddenly I hit the driveway entrance and I remember going over the front of the handle bars, and landing on the cement pedestrian path beside the road. I saw a piece out of my leg, my right wrist hurt and I could see blood on my shirt and dripping on the pathway. My immediate reaction was to rescue my bike which remained unscathed. As blood dripped from my chin and leaving red spots a long the ground, I was scared and alarmed at what happened to me. Nobody helped me, as I walked into the nearby shopping centre, people stared at me, and offered no help or comfort. I continued to walk and I walked into the MP's electorate office and said I need help! Luckily there was a Doctor's Surgery and my chin was sewed up, my wrist bound and my knee covered and cleaned. My father was called and he came down to take me back home. I was working at a library at the time as a volunteer and I continued to devote my service and more importantly try to get on with life as best I could. When I drove the car in Brisbane, a man abused me and said you should be off the road you d-head! I think you know the words I mean?!
When I went through depression which was more so heightened levels of anxiety. I didn't know what to do. I was scared of the levels being so high that there was no escape. Who could I turn to and who could understand me? I ended up going to the Doctor's Surgery to be prescribed Cipramil to lower my anxiety levels. I just wondered what was the point of life and why should I bother getting up when I knew I was unemployable and didn't know what my purpose to life was and what I should be doing.
Often dealing with Doctors can be very anxiety provoking. Often I think the worst. My recent slip on the driveway was an exercise in thinking and assuming the worst. My arm was in pain. Would it need to be amputated if circulation stopped? I just have to think to myself that everything is not so drastic. I don't know why Brisbane can be so cold at times with people and their reactions. I remember an elderly friend telling me after he was bashed on his driveway that despite being 83 nobody helped him as he tried to stagger to his feet again. I really wonder what is happening in the world and why people can be so cold.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Something needs to be done in Australia
As an Asperger Syndrome Advocate I hear from people constantly about how a family member, son, friend or person they know is affected by Asperger Syndrome. It is my hope and out of my own interest that I am able to meet with Cheryl Gillan MP who passed the Autism Bill in the United Kingdom in 2009. Although I am one person and perhaps my intention is largely impossible. It would be my hope to know personally what the Autism Bill has done and what services are provided to persons on the Autism Spectrum.
I have written to Cheryl Gillan MP in the hope that while in the United Kingdom in June of this year that I may be able to meet with her. I also believe that emphasis should be placed on the pioneering efforts of Autism Works. Both Chris Mitchell and Peter MacDonald are putting a great deal of time and effort into the hope of employing adults on the Autism Spectrum. Chris especially has done a great deal of advocacy in the United Kingdom as I have tried to in Australia, and we need to wish him and Peter well as they move forward with their good work.
I talk to families who are at breaking point and Asperger adults who want a job and simply cannot get one. I feel it is my calling to try and help them where possible. I can only try my best and this is all I can do. I will write more updates later but this is just some news for now.
I have written to Cheryl Gillan MP in the hope that while in the United Kingdom in June of this year that I may be able to meet with her. I also believe that emphasis should be placed on the pioneering efforts of Autism Works. Both Chris Mitchell and Peter MacDonald are putting a great deal of time and effort into the hope of employing adults on the Autism Spectrum. Chris especially has done a great deal of advocacy in the United Kingdom as I have tried to in Australia, and we need to wish him and Peter well as they move forward with their good work.
I talk to families who are at breaking point and Asperger adults who want a job and simply cannot get one. I feel it is my calling to try and help them where possible. I can only try my best and this is all I can do. I will write more updates later but this is just some news for now.
How I interpret the world
I have always had an interest in Philosophy and Psychology. I used to sometimes think that I existed in some kind of virtual world and that everything around me was just a figment of my imagination. There was a theory when I studied at university known as the "Brain in the Vat Theory". This was the belief that the world existed around a person in a philosophical sense and that it was stimulated somehow to give thoughts and feelings. Rene Descartes was also discussed with his "I think therefore I am" theory.
I find navigating the social world extremely challenging at times. People don't always say what they mean and more importantly I cannot make sense of what institutions and bureaucracy exist when all it does is make things just about impossible.
I have found as an Aspie that I can connect with animals and I cannot understand why people can be cruel to animals and often hurt or injure them without having any remorse. For instance animals being harmed or injured when they are defenseless and not able to defend themselves. A famous Aspie who relates to animals is Dr Temple Grandin. She believes she is able to communicate to horses and livestock and a link to her youtube video can be found again by double clicking on the title of this very post. Surely attacking animals is an act which should be condemned and punished to the full extent of the law?
I would really like to see more inclusion of Autism and not this avoidance and ignorance that continues. I think it is great in nursing homes and other centres that cats and dogs are brought in to cheer the lives up of the elderly or the sick. Animals can calm people and people can calm them. Why then does cruelty exist and surely it has to stop?!
I find navigating the social world extremely challenging at times. People don't always say what they mean and more importantly I cannot make sense of what institutions and bureaucracy exist when all it does is make things just about impossible.
I have found as an Aspie that I can connect with animals and I cannot understand why people can be cruel to animals and often hurt or injure them without having any remorse. For instance animals being harmed or injured when they are defenseless and not able to defend themselves. A famous Aspie who relates to animals is Dr Temple Grandin. She believes she is able to communicate to horses and livestock and a link to her youtube video can be found again by double clicking on the title of this very post. Surely attacking animals is an act which should be condemned and punished to the full extent of the law?
I would really like to see more inclusion of Autism and not this avoidance and ignorance that continues. I think it is great in nursing homes and other centres that cats and dogs are brought in to cheer the lives up of the elderly or the sick. Animals can calm people and people can calm them. Why then does cruelty exist and surely it has to stop?!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Reading and assimilating Information
One of the challenges I have on the Autism Spectrum is being able to read large chunks of information and to process information. I often find if I am asked to summarise or read something quickly that I actually have to read the document several times in order to make sense of it. I find I am better with numbers in terms of balancing figures but when it comes to reading or researching for university or other study, I just find it almost impossible and I get overwhelmed easily.
The conventions that exist within society are often hard to fathom or process and I often fail to get the help necessary to assist me with some levels and areas of executive function. When for instance should information be disclosed or kept in confidence or how should I approach a person at work who may be on the phone or dealing with a customer if I need direction in terms of job tasks etc?
Adults with Autism having coping strategies with assimilating information and some like me find it difficult to process fiction. It depends on the individual concerned.
Within the school system there needs to be strategies implemented to assist with learning difficulties and information assimilation. Some adults may be willing to provide support and assistance and they should be encouraged to do so where required. Early intervention and support is crucial I believe.
The conventions that exist within society are often hard to fathom or process and I often fail to get the help necessary to assist me with some levels and areas of executive function. When for instance should information be disclosed or kept in confidence or how should I approach a person at work who may be on the phone or dealing with a customer if I need direction in terms of job tasks etc?
Adults with Autism having coping strategies with assimilating information and some like me find it difficult to process fiction. It depends on the individual concerned.
Within the school system there needs to be strategies implemented to assist with learning difficulties and information assimilation. Some adults may be willing to provide support and assistance and they should be encouraged to do so where required. Early intervention and support is crucial I believe.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Failure to nurture the special interest in persons on the Autism Spectrum
From personal experience I believe that early intervention and support is crucial within the early years of a person with Autism. Failure to recognise and build upon the special interest causes the Asperger person to feel at a loss later in life and to encounter low self esteem issues. In my own case, the school system, especially high school failed to build upon my own strengths and abilities. What I have encountered is that in adulthood, I have not found what I am good at in a career sense.
I believe that perhaps low self esteem is due to a result of the person with Autism feeling that they are not good at anything and perhaps a sense of feeling unconnected to the world around them. Again I cannot speak for all adults.
In my own case I was criticized for the way I thought when I was younger. My special interests were considered odd and being eccentric was simply something not to be tolerated in conservative and controlled Queensland. As a society we need to build upon a person's special interest more so than try and compress or eliminated it. Perhaps for adults they feel wounded as we cannot understand why people don't always think and become embraced with the interests we feel most passionate about.
I am constantly having to re-invent the way I think and I have come to accept that trying to undertake and follow expectations is just depressing. My thought process seems to fail in that I see the means of building up or working towards goals is perhaps unrealistic or unconventional. It is hard when you have a mind that is literal and responds to routine more so than unpredictability. I just realise that I have this condition and make the most of life where I can. Hopefully early intervention will become more of a reality and acceptance part of a community. We can only live in hope.
I believe that perhaps low self esteem is due to a result of the person with Autism feeling that they are not good at anything and perhaps a sense of feeling unconnected to the world around them. Again I cannot speak for all adults.
In my own case I was criticized for the way I thought when I was younger. My special interests were considered odd and being eccentric was simply something not to be tolerated in conservative and controlled Queensland. As a society we need to build upon a person's special interest more so than try and compress or eliminated it. Perhaps for adults they feel wounded as we cannot understand why people don't always think and become embraced with the interests we feel most passionate about.
I am constantly having to re-invent the way I think and I have come to accept that trying to undertake and follow expectations is just depressing. My thought process seems to fail in that I see the means of building up or working towards goals is perhaps unrealistic or unconventional. It is hard when you have a mind that is literal and responds to routine more so than unpredictability. I just realise that I have this condition and make the most of life where I can. Hopefully early intervention will become more of a reality and acceptance part of a community. We can only live in hope.
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