Do Aspies not have boundaries and NTs do?

As an Aspie often understanding a person's personal boundaries can be difficult.  I think Aspies have difficulties with mind blindness and not always able to read social situations.  This can in itself present us with difficulty whe trying to adjust to the NT world.  Have you ever wondered why Aspies gravitate to unconventional or unsavoury people?  This may be due to the fact that unconventional people may abuse or violate personal boundaries.

I have met many Aspies in my life and shared and heard their stories.  Some have hung out with the wrong types or hung around people that do not seem to fit into society's mould.  I know in my own life I have been associated with some unsavoury people also.  You just have to learn as you get older in life.

In terms of feelings and intimacy, I think Aspies tend to open up more easily than they NT's (Non Autistic) people.  We may say things that seem odd or strange but it is just that we often speak our minds and have no verbal filter between thought and spoken word.  In terms of personal boundaries I have found that with other Aspies, personal boundaries may not always be clearly defined.  Some Aspies you can keep talking to but you don't know if they have had enough of you talking to them or worse still they may not be aware that they can actually be draining you. Sometimes putting two Aspies together is like two magnets repelling against each other.  One Aspie can depress another Aspie but I guess it depends on functioning level.  It is not true that all Aspies get on with each other because we dont.  I had one friend I used to hang out with on the Autism Spectrum but  now this friend ignores me totally.  I don't know why but just think maybe the friend cannot handle the intensity which I have difficulty with.

I have had to end communication with some Aspies due to stress and anxiety and some are still in touch.  The thing with the Aspie community is that we are thinking people. Our heads and minds continue to ruminate with thoughts and feelings and sometimes if we are unable to control it such thoughts continue to spiral causing us insomnia and stress.  I may have been a little harsh against the Aspie population in my previous post but sometimes it is hard to get through to other Aspies. No matter how hard you tell them something they just don't want to listen.  We can be obstinate in our own ways.  I also think Aspies do not like labels so much. There is the Aspie world and our lives are lived differently as we live in our heads. Sometimes we can also do other people's thinking as Aspies. This can cause anxiety and worse still issues with mental health.

Ask yourself do you think as an Aspie you have clearly defined personal boundaries or do you think NT's do? 

Autism Unemployment

One of the concerns I have for adults on the Autism Spectrum is unemployment.  Employment is a means of structure and allows for a scaffolding in the person's life and without it, social isolation, depression and anxiety may result.  Not all adults on the Autism Spectrum are able to work or would like to however, long periods of being out of work create the scenario that finding a job is impossible or unlikely.  I have known of some adults on the Autism Spectrum living their lives in front of computers and not interacting with people around them.  This is concerning as they lose confidence and are not interacting where they should or more importantly being challenged to take on responsibility.

I wrote my book "I Want To Work An Asperger Story" because unemployment in the adult population concerned me and I had to tell my story.  I have tried in the past to assist adults on the Autism Spectrum find employment but sadly some of them perhaps have been in a state of unemployment for too long.  They have given up or not getting the support or services they may require to enter the labor market.  The concern is the lack of social skills and also the lack of hope in believing employment is possible.  Low self esteem can further trigger anxiety in believing that entering a job is just simply not possible.

It took me several attempts to find employment.  I went through heartache and frustration but I did not give up. I think some adults on the Autism Spectrum want a job but what is concerning is they are just not getting the support and encouragement they need to land success in employment.  After school finishes an adult on the Autism Spectrum should be involved in training or volunteer work to keep their routine going. Once they stagnate on a disability pension it becomes harder.  They think employment is beyond them and just existing in itself can often be a challenge.  I really hope that more is done to alleviate unemployment levels in adults on the Autism Spectrum as most want to work but simply are not getting the support and services which they require.

I believe that for adults on the Autism Spectrum rather than sitting in front of a computer at home they should be utilising such skills in a more effective way. Why not employ them as software testers or encourage them to assist in the IT industry in a more positive way?  Surely changes need to occur to make things better? 

Sticking the boot into the Autism Community

I have to be both honest and blunt in saying that some persons on the Autism Spectrum are selfish and indeed ungrateful.  Often persons work both tirelessly and with a great deal of effort and get little or no real acknowledgement in return.  It is clearly selfish behaviour.  I worked hard to get to where I am in life and yes sure I have problems but I try and work at both resolving and overcoming them as best I can.  Living a life of a selfish and dysfunctional existence gets nobody anywhere!  Not ever do I get a thank you from certain persons who I have tried to help in the past and sadly I have to say that unless these persons change their ways they are really nothing but lost causes.

Not everyone likes to work but the world cannot be changed in order to accomodate the very dysfunctional few and I have to be blunt in saying this.  All I see on Facebook discussion groups is just blatant negativity and unhealthy views towards society and people in general.  I really want nothing to do with such behaviour. I dare say that all it creates is an implosion on those in the Autism Spectrum trying to do the right thing.  I follow the work very closely of Autism Works and other employers of adults on the Autism Spectrum very closely and it annoys me when I hear persons on the Autism Spectrum say, "I am not interested in software testing".  Well if you wish to remain in a dysfunctional existence and not get anywhere in your life then I am sorry to say that you will not go very far in this world.  The world cannot change for the very few and you have to get used to this.  It will take several generations if at all before things change.  I am also fed up with people who are ungrateful against on persons who work relentlessly to try and assist others in finding greater acceptance and understanding.

The reality with some persons on the Autism Spectrum is you can never get through to them. They never understand nor try to change their ways to improve.  I am still learning myself but I do not just say that having Asperger Syndrome provides me with an excuse to get away with both unacceptable and inappropriate behaviour.  If persons on the Autism Spectrum want people to better understand them and they want to get ahead in their lives then they really need to start to try and mend their ways and get on better with those around them.  The world is not going to change for the very few as indicated earlier.  It would be nice to receive some thank you and support not only for the work I do but other associations also and persons involved.  Often persons on the Autism Spectrum can be ungrateful and they really need to learn fast that they may offend people with such behaviours.

In conclusion the Autism Spectrum is not an excuse for unacceptable or inappropriate behaviour it is a social skills disorder and as such needs to be overcome and services provided where necessary.  I have written a book addressing my very issues of finding employment but I did not give up in my pursuit.  In all honesty I find this wanting the world to change is just unrealistic. What is more needed as better tolerance, education and understanding.  If a person on the Autism Spectrum wants a job then they have to turn up to work, be on time, try and learn, make a commitment and find the necessary support. If they do not then they will forever remain in a dysfunctional existence and find it hard to get ahead in their lives.  As blunt as I need to be or may sound the truth of the situation is that reciprocation is often a necessary requirement as well as less introspection and selfishness. Realise there are some people out there batting on your behalf and need I have to get it through to you try and support them where you can otherwise sadly you will find yourself a lost cause and your future uncertain.  This is the way I see it anyhow.  The path to prosperity and improvement needs determination and hardwork not just complacency and unacceptable or inappropriate behaviours!

I lastly need to say that I find some persons on the Autism Spectrum rude, selfish, never satisfied, introspective and ungrateful and it gives the impression of is it really all worth it if they do not change or mend their ways?  I just advocate for myself now and I am having doubts about whether the good qualities which I demonstrate as a person on the Autism Spectrum in employment are the same in others.  I find I deal with some rude and selfish people who really need a good kick up the backside to make them see that they need to overcome the errors of their ways.  I also find some others are just so damn rude and selfish also.  The whole diagnostic criteria needs reform and those trained medically need to diagnose properly to avoid areas of confusion in who is and isn't on the Autism Spectrum?!

Autism and Libraries

Is a library a conducive to a person on the Autism Spectrum?  In this video it explains how a library can assist a person on the Autism Spectrum Autism and Libraries   Working in a library for a person on the Autism Spectrum can be supportive as the library environment does involve research, quietness. For the library user on the Autism Spectrum, a library can be a place where support may be required in assisting a person on the Autism Spectrum

Why can a library be supportive to someone on the Autism Spectrum?

• An intellectully curious place
• A safe zone from noise and over stimulation
• Sensory issues
• A library may have information concerning their special interests

You may need to ask yourself the question of how can a library assist a person on the Autism Spectrum? 

My Aspie Routines

If anyone has ever watched the movie Being There starring Peter Sellars who apparently had Asperger Syndrome you may be interested in the routines an Aspie encounters.  Please watch the following video Being There  In the movie Peter Sellars moves from house to house and nobody really understands his unconventional existence.

As an Aspie life is mainly spent in a routine.  It is like a kind of ritual in that the same patterns of behaviour are always followed.  Waking up in the morning, getting breakfast and following similar routines which may be regular each day.

I would encourage any Aspie to watch the movie Being There as the movie does clearly depict just how an Aspie lives in routines and more importantly takes things literally etc.   In fact Peter Sellars wanted so much to play the role which may describe his Aspieness.

In the beginning of the movie Peter Sellars is evicted from the house he is living in.  He knows only a world of television and gardening and he takes a remote control with him as he walks out the front door.  He encounters people on the street and comes into contact with unsavory people using his remote control to try and change the channel.  The movie is well and worthily recommended and I hope others can get a chance to see it.

Chancy Gardener's routines scene Aspie routines

Being realistic

It is necessary to have a realistic outlook in the world and to understand that the world is not going to change overnight.  Over the past weeks I am trying to improve on my weak areas and furthermore improve where I can my social skills.  This in itself can be difficult.

Yesterday I received back my Recognition and Development where I work within the library.  It will be interesting to see how things develop if they do over the coming months.

Acceptance and understanding of the Autism Spectrum it seems will not happen over night but over many months and years.  For attitudes to change it will require education and trying to resist or take on any form of militancy will not clearly get anyone anywhere in trying to change things.  I feel I have reached a pinnacle of what I can do. I have written a book and I have tried to provide awareness where I can.  I also have tried to help other persons on the Autism Spectrum but really they need to make their own effort to improve their lives.

Change does not happen overnight and it takes years of commitment, hardwork and determination.  In all honesty the Autism Spectrum is an ongoing battle but it can only be won or overcome by slowing chipping away.

I am going to try again to be understand the world from an non Autistic viewpoint but this in itself will be challening.  I must be honest in that I find many adults on the Autism Spectrum somewhat selfish, introspective and ungrateful.  They take and never give.  They have to realise that the world is not centred around them and that many of them really need to try harder and get a job.  They may not like having to work but how many of us do?   It is important to also surround yourself with healthy people.

In Australia the NDIS (National Disability Insurance Scheme) is underway and hopefully some changes may happen soon but we can only wait and see?

As an Aspie I find communication difficult.  The problem mainly is due to people not really being able to understand or assist where necessary.  I have found in some instances that communication can be damaged just because an external person has not always been there to intervene or help. In terms of relationships or friendships, sometimes a lack of communication or intervention may cause for an interaction to be broken or severed.  I think for Aspies that we hate rejection and being dropped as friends etc.  Often the non Autistic population or some Aspies themselves just don't really know how to deal with an interaction or more importantly provide some means of support to prevent an area of difficulty.

Some years ago I knew one Aspie who insisted that driving a car caused omissions into the atmosphere. I drove this Aspie to an event for an Autism association and he kept telling me that driving a car was not good, parking was too expensive and I was given a briefing on this.  I felt frustrated as I could not tell him to stop going on about this as it was stressing me out when I was driving.  I just put up with it and shortly thereafer communication was lost.  If only someone had been there to attempt to explain both his and my position.

Now if you think of relationships it is much more difficult.  Aspie men simply are not given ample time to actually be known to someone of the opposite sex without jumping through a series of loops and hurdles.  It is just difficult.  Perhaps adult services can assist us Aspies develop a lighter side and be able to communicate without being so stilted and often literal.  Communication is just difficult and interaction for us can often just be hard work. I have lost many friends due to my own intensity issues.  It is just a matter of finding effective strategies to deal with these.

What are your thoughts?  How do you find communication as an Aspie or relating to an Aspie?

The older Aspie Difficulty

This morning I contacted Life Line Counseling.  I had no one else I could really speak to about my own situation.  I feel better now.  I really found the friendship I had with another Aspie just too difficult. I felt he played with my head and I was experiencing above normal levels of anxiety.  I just can't seem to handle friendships or relationships as the intensity is often just too much.  I just cannot handle complications and needy people. I feel bad as I have had to drop a few friends on the Autism Spectrum because of intensity issues.  I just feel alone at times and not getting the help I need but did find the counseling from Life Line helpful.

As an older Aspie I feel that I am more often surviving then living. I think for older Aspies that as we age we that we give up on certain aspects of our life.  We find things often too overwhelming and we live in our world.  I felt in the instance with the younger Aspie that sometimes wrongful judgements are made.  I am perceived as being homosexual or something.  I am just tired of the stigma.  It is hard enough surviving when you think and act differently to others.  So far this year I have been dropped by 3 friends and I see it as their loss really and not mine. They never really understood anyway.

I think for older Aspies we are the pioneers and the younger Aspies have a better world.  Several generations will change to allow for improvement I hope but for me I just have to survive as best I can.  Even when I state the obvious that things are harder as you get older, people tell me not to be negative. It is harder to learn the skills a person has learned in their lifetime or with earlier intervention.  I just cannot control my mind and need to do my best or the best that I can.

I have made the decision to end communication with this younger Aspie.  I felt the age barrier was to big, there were some assumptions perhaps made about me from his family and the friendship I had with him caused me unnecessary worry. I feared the sabotage factor which simply means that after a certain period of time that a perhaps no longer bothers with you.  If you can imagine this then you can begin to realise how much harder a relationship is with the opposite sex?  Yes that's right it is harder and more difficult when you simply think, act and behave differently.

In a closing note I would like to thank the Aspie whom I wish to not mention due to reasons of privacy for giving me hope in knowing that I do exist as a person. His situation was very similar to my own diagnosis at the age of 25 but he is fortunate to have support from his brother which in my case is different.  I just feel like an unwanted freak in relation to my siblings.  I am not depressed nor suicidal but I have come to realise like Dr Temple Grandin that advocacy is the only way forward but also a sense of seclusion also.  I just find it hard to trust humanity but I do know there are good people out there who are supportive where they can be.  I would encourage any person in Australia to ring this number http://www.lifeline.org.au/ and you don't need to be suicidal just have someone listen and understand you if you are lonely or need help.  I really have to convey my thoughts and what better way to do this then writing to clear my mind.

Thanks once again for anyone who reads my blog as I appreciate it to help get the awareness out there

Kind regards
Garry Burge

Difficulties with long distance relationships and friendships

As an Aspie I have made contact with other Aspies abroad.  Communication has mainly been through social media and the use of skype.  What is sad however is that with both friendships and relationships I cannot be in the same space as the other person.  Recently I made friends with an Aspie in New Zealand.  We became really good friends, interacted a lot and spoke and texted on skype. I am not sure whether this friendship can continue to reasons of anxiety but am getting help from counseling. I am all aware of the difficulties as I remember Chris Mitchell telling me about Genvieve Edmonds who was an Aspie who wrote and published many books and articles but due to high levels of anxiety sadly ended her life. It is good having a friendship but it is difficult when the friend is overseas but trying to get around it where I can.  You can't hang out with them, and be in the same space and this in itself does create difficulty.  This friend goes to the movies on his own and spends almost all of his time within his own company. Like most Aspies I know, plane travel and the lack of support and awareness in airports creates undue stress as well as the necessary immigration requirements.  Such factors make communication almost impossible.  I have known of some Aspies simply just giving up on friendship because of the overwhelming immigration and transport procedures.

Sometimes I have met Asperger women abroad but I know the dangers of long distance relationships.  Immigration can just about kill you with all the necessary paper work and other requirements.  One is left with little options but to just try and do your best to talk on skype.  The friend I have at present and I do experience difficulty.  We are just good friends but the problem is that he is unable to travel from New Zealand to Australia and I am not sure whether I will meet with this friend when I visit New Zealand next year.  People from outside the Autism Community just don't get it.  They think and assume things or the mechanisms which exist just are not supportive enough.

The biggest problem I find being an Aspie is that no matter how hard I am expected to try and 'fit in' with the non Autistic population they just don't get it.  I become so mentally exhausted or I find myself being the observer rather than the participant of a conversation.  Anxiety levels and lack of inclusion just raise my anxiety levels.  Having Asperger Syndrome is like a solitary existence.  I think differently and do not see things the same way others do.  If I go out in the community I am due to encounter a barrage of what I called 'tribalism' and people just do not get it if I cannot and do not want to exist like they do. Sometimes tribalism can be so intense that it can make me feel at a loss in my surrounds.  I feel lonely, misunderstood and retreat into solitude as a means of escape. People cannot penetrate my ways of thinking and behaving to worsen my anxiety.

I know many adults abroad who are just lonely!  They are not able to connect with people around them and more sadly there is just not the services to assist them!  Life as an Aspie is tough and people just don't see our struggles. I spoke at length to the Department of Families, Housing, Community and Indigenous Affairs about this recently.  I hope they understand?!   How much longer does the solitude isolation and lack of services going to continue?  When is support and services going to become available to adults on the Autism Spectrum?  Let us only hope this will happen soon?!

The Royal Australian & New Zealand College of Psychiatrists

I would really like to ask a question and that questions concerns the above Australian and New Zealand governing body.  Does this authority rely on the American model in the treatment of mental illness?  Why I ask this is because I feel that the American model seems to want to throw medication at a mental health or social isolation problem more so than provide support and communication therapy. From what I see the United Kingdom model tends to have restrictions on the prescription and doling out of certain medications.  For instance Valium is very hard to prescribe in the United Kingdom than it is in both Australia, New Zealand and the United States.  This is only one example.  What I would like but again I have no real authority is for the above authority to review its policy on mental health but by visiting the website http://www.ranzcp.org/ it seems that mental health is obtaining some attention.

When it comes ot the treatment of the Autism Spectrum should the above authority change its following from the American model to the UK model?  I think often persons who have serious mental health issues seem to be receving very little access to necessary support.  Medication is important but also better services to assist with the difficulties associated with prospective illness.  I spoke to a friend in the medical profession who informed me that mental health recieves very little training. He also went further to say that very little if anything is known about the Autism Spectrum.  What does this tell you?  It tells you that the medical fraternity need to come on board and understand the Autism Spectrum and mental health issues. I have been in touch with Professor Patrick McGorry about my concerns regarding mental health in Australia.  I believe that in some instances people who are socially isolated and lonely and who are not having any interaction or support are simply being medicated.  This is not really good because rather than neglecting or medicating the individuals concerned why not offer access to greater support and services.  Quite simply people who are trained in overcoming the issues of social isolation, anxiety and depression etc?

As I write this the DSM V is reviewing the term Asperger Syndrome and doing away with this diagnosis altogther.  I ask directly and firmly why is this happening and have persons with Asperger Syndrome actually been consulted?  If you remove the diagnosis which we regard as an identity to assist us with getting help, you are virtually making our lives much more difficult and harder.  We are not receiving the services we require now and we are sadly being prescribed medications that may not always help when in fact more services and therapy could help.  I also regard it as insult of this American body to do away with Asperger Syndrome altogether because when I need support surely saying Autism Spectrum Disorder makes for very unclear explanation. Asperger Syndrome covers a large area of diversity but it is once again an identity more so than a label.  Also should the Australian and New Zealand Authority above mentioned start to better train, create more awareness and better support for persons affected by mental illness, Autism etc?  Why can't the above authority also adopt the UK system which seems to have more support on services and therapy than on just doling out medications like the American system does?  I may stand corrected but from what I have heard Australia and New Zealand have an appalling record for mental illness, and health and it is about time something gets done about it!  

October update

As many of you are aware book sales have been doing well. Today I filled and processed 15 book orders to James Bennett Book Suppliers, to a customer also in South Australia who purchased 5 additional books to the already 10 previously purchased and another 5 books to Peter Pal Book Suppliers. I have also been on the phone to the Book House and they may be interested in purchasing copies of the book also.  It is a relief to finally get these orders filled and to get copies into libraries in both Australia and New Zealand.

This afternoon I had my Recognition and Development within the University of Queensland Social Sciences Library.  I received praise for the work I do and also encouragement in that further opportunities may soon be available within the library.  Hopefully there will be possiblities to undertake assistance in research projects and also as I suggested a future possibility of in house training to further a career within a library.  I also suggested the possibility of taking on workshops or presenting in them for new library users and students with disabilities to understand the library better.

For any person a job provides a routine and structure and for some persons on the Autism Spectrum like myself a job is very important.  I am in contact with some adults on the Autism Spectrum and at times it can be difficult to try and get through to them that despite their low self esteem and feeling like giving up that there is hope out there.  Just more time, effort and support are required.  I really cannot understand why so many talented people are just not able to simply get a job!  One young man on the Autism Spectrum is a phenomenial  Chess and Scrabble Player.  He beats me every time, he plays Chess very well, only just starting and he cannot get a job.  Why not?!  Why are so many people with specialist abilities simply not making it in the market place?

Over the coming weeks and months I will be again contacting more libraries to inform them about obtaining a copy of my book.  I have also been in touch with the Hon Jenny Macklin also and was put in touch with the National Disability Strategy.  I have contacted the person concerned to inform them of my own advocacy work and the need for greater support and services to those who have a disability, especially on the Autism Spectrum.  Hopefully the ball can start rolling to provide greater support.

Please support me and my efforts by contacting your local library and requesting they order my book.  The book is available through Peter Pal, James Bennett and my website.  The title is "I Want To Work An Asperger Story with a Foreword from Dr Tony Attwood.

More updates soon

Kind and warm regards

Garry Burge

www.garryburge.com

What is tribalism

Tribalism is a word which I use and not sure if it actually exists to describe the way non Autistic people try to force or convert persons on the Autism Spectrum to think like and become neuro typical.  Sadly 'tribalism' has serious ramifications.  It can make a person on the Autism Spectrum more depressed, frustrated and anxious.

What people not on the Autism Spectrum need to realise is that persons on the Autism Spectrum think and act differently.  We may not always see things the same way that you do and forcing us to be different only makes matters worse.

How does 'tribalism' affect a person on the Autism Spectrum?  Well to answer this question simply and directly I will give you an idea.  Firstly it can occur when a person constantly tries to force you to think and act like a Neuro Typical.  This may be in the form of communication, or by a person asking personal questions which relate to your marital status, job situation, and your sexual orientation.  What is important to note is that questions may not be direct but more so indirect and sadly in some situations prejudice and judgements can be made leading people to draw conclusions before they actually get to know you properly.

Tribalism also has some serious side effects in that a person on the Autism Spectrum, my own situation included  can be left in a state of social isolation and loniliness.  Tribalism also manifests itself with people saying 'you just need to try harder' or 'you have to learn how to get on with people'.  Such comments may work for the non Autistic population but for persons on the Autism Spectrum lacking social skills and social isolation, exclusion and lack of awareness and education from the wider community can seriously lead to mental health issues.  This is because a person on the Autism Spectrum can just feel worthless, lonely and confused.  Withdrawal from the community and social isolation can have serious ramifications and in the worst instance may even cause suicide.

Tribalism is not only something I experience but many other Aspies also.  Some are frustrated by people trying to change their ways of thinking and thoughts.  It can happen in work environments, in social settings or in communities.  Tribalism can be overcome with better coping strategies from the person on the Autism Spectrum and increased awareness from persons within the wider community.

I would simply 'coin' the term 'tribalism' to mean - the forced conversion of a person on the Autism Spectrum to think and behave like a Neuro - Typical and as a result having serious ramifications.  

Let me make an important correction

Often I have been placed into very difficult situations of having to defend my maritual status.  I cannot understand why my marital status quite frankly is anyone else's business.  I mean surely there are certain measures in refraining from prying too much into a person's own life?

It is very difficult when you are 39 and you lead an 'unconventional' and 'solitude' life. It just seems to fit oddly in the minds of others and no matter how hard you try and resist a person or persons prying into your private life, you just find the whole process virtually numb wrenching and impossible.  In the past I have encountered certain individuals who feel it their duty to try and match me with someone or to constantly see my state of existence as needing to be changed.  The thing is why is this so?  Why am I answerable to a 'tribal' culture that insists on trying to change me into an existence which really I have no say or choice over?  What is wrong with people?  

Across the Autism Spectrum there are some Aspies or few that are in relationships and within employment but there are others who are not.  Some are tired of having to constantly feel pressured that wherever they go that people may be judging them and simply unable to accept that different cognitive wiring is a reality.  Having to constantly defend your own existence is indeed frustrating.  I know of some adults on the Autism Spectrum who have family members insist they get married or have children when people clearly need to understand that a person on the Autism Spectrum needs space.  Some adults on the Autism Spectrum have parents who are in denial which in all honesty makes life tougher for the adult on the Autism Spectrum as well.  

I am going to stick my neck out by saying that in both male and female persons on the Autism Spectrum I think that a self consciousness of one's own identity is not always apparent.  I personally find myself coming to terms with the world around me and also making sense of this 'boxed in' labeled world which we live in.  I think and see that being "Aspie" is an identity and not a label.  I refuse to be made to conform or 'tribalised' into an existence which only really makes me more depressed.  

Not everyone wants to get married, nor have children and really a person should be able to not have people poking and prying into their private life as it is inquisitive. How would you feel if someone were to ask you personal questions which made you feel uncomfortable?  Even by stating my thoughts I encounter without any real flexibility in thinking an instant 'forced' difficult of scenario which may evoke homophobia when in fact may not be the case.  The resistance can be so intense that a person on the Autism Spectrum just feels compelled to live a life of solitude for fear of wrongful persecution or assumption.  Quite simply society needs to be more open minded to different ways of living and existencing and not always assume that because a person is not married nor in a relationship that they may represent some kind of dysfunctional existence.  

William's Perception of Asperger's Syndrome

This afternoon after I finished work I had the pleasure of meeting Mr William Church an adult on the Autism Spectrum at the Univeristy of Queensland.  I had quite a chat with William and I asked him to share his comments about what he knows about the Autism Spectrum. Please find his comments below. 

"Cognitive ability: Asperger's tend to score higher on verbal intelligence as a composite on the Wechsler - this being more so males with "high functioning" autism. they also tend to score higher in non-verbal abstract reasoning as measured by the untimed raven's progressive matrices test. 

re: Masculinity and hormones.

One of the theories I've encountered is the "male brained" account of autism. the idea is that pre-natal androgen levels tend to affect neural development. One of the signs is the index-ring finger ratio, which in autistic people tends to indicate excess pre-natal testosterone. A ratio of 1.00 is typical for women, and in the order of 0.97 for men. I happen to have a ratio of about 0.89. 

In terms of cognitive abilities I've read that the effect of high pre-natal testosterone for women and men may be the opposite. In men lower testosterone tends to be optimal for more male tasks like math and spatial ability. Whereas in women higher testosterone correlates with higher math and spatial ability. this seems to be consistent with research which shows that men with autism tend to score higher on verbal components of IQ tests, whereas women with asperger's tend to be more competitive in spatial ability and performance tasks".  

Public Speaking

On Thursday 13th October 2011 I had the opportunity to speak at Rotary Club of Brisbane Planetarium.  In front of an audience of 50 people I spoke about my own experiences as an adult on the Autism Spectrum and overcoming some of the challenges in finding employment, confronting diagnosis and the need for greater awareness and understanding.  I received a standing ovation for my presentation which included a power point presentation and 15 questions to answer afterward.  On behalf of the club I received a letter opener and an assurance that my presentation helped to enlighten more people about the need for action to be taken to overcome the issues confronted for persons on the Autism Spectrum.

This week has been challenging.  It has been hard work but it is with pleasure that I am now getting help from other adults on the Autism Spectrum.  I would like to specially acknowledge Mr Brett Fallen from New Zealand who assists me with editing my blog, youtube videos as well as Mr Damian Santomauro who is helping out where he can with finding a room on the UQ Campus and assisting with the running of the group.  Also I acknowledge the work of some other adults on the Autism Spectrum who are helping assist me with keeping Aspergers@UQ going and growing strong.  We now have a membership of approximately 10 people and enquiries concerning the group keep coming.  In due course the group hopes to have a weekend event but for now we just have to keep things going smoothly.  I have also submitted another application to the UQ Disability Sub Committee to represent the committee as a staff member. Although my application may be declined I see it as my priority to get something done on campus to assist with Aspergers@UQ so that it continues to flourish, obtain a room and support on campus.

On the afternoon of Thursday 13th October 2011 I spoke with Mr Kelvin Ross from Kelvin J Ross and Associates and Professor Paul Strooper from the University of Queensland Department of Information and Technology about Australia, especially Brisbane coming on board with replicating software testing like before mentioned of Autism Works, Specialisterne and Aspiritech.  I will be meeting with both Kelvin and Paul at the University of Queensland on Friday 18th November at 3pm to discuss options with kick starting a similar venture here.  We really need to get adults on the Autism Spectrum into employment as I hear so many calls for help and pleas just for the opportunity of a job.  I am in regular contact with Peter MacDonald from Autism Works and also have Thorkil Sonne from Specialisterne on my Facebook so it is hoped soon that something similar can start here.

As it is Friday 14th October, I am going to have a bit of a break over the weekend. I have worked very hard and as I largely work on my own with the advocacy work I do, I need a bit of a rest.  In April 2012 I will be visiting New Zealand for a holiday and not for Autism Advocacy unless of course there may be an opportunity for me to speak about my own personal experiences.  I will be traveling with my parents and meeting a friend in New Zealand so this should be good.

I receive many queries and I would like to thank also Mr John Greally an adult on the Autism Spectrum for helping to moderate some Facebook groups.  John is also an adult on the Autism Spectrum.  Next year in February will be the adult conference hosted by Asperger Services Australia.  Please visit their website www.asperger.asn.au and together lets help to make a difference.  Thanks also needs to go to Mr Anthony Julian for helping to get copies of my books into libraries.  Everyone is helping me where possible and others out there too which there are too many to specifically mention.

I would encourage all or any adults on the Autism Spectrum to please assist and help me where possible in further raising awareness of the Autism Spectrum. Together we can help to educate the wider community and make the world a better place for those of us on the Autism Spectrum.

More updates soon

Kind and warmest regards

Garry Burge

Garry Burge Asperger Syndrome & Autism Advocacy
www.garryburge.com  

Different Wiring, Anxiety Management and Exercise

It is often difficult when you are wired differently to other people.  Although you look the same as them biologically and physically, your internal thinking and thought process just differs. I have noticed that with other Aspies that I tend to find myself 'double thinking'. This is a process where not only do I have to use my intelligence to think but I also find myself doing their thinking.  This process in itself can be exhausting or in some instances anxiety provoking.  I draw your attention once again to the case of Genvieve Edmonds who was a female on the Autism Spectrum. Genevieve undertook a great deal of advocacy work for adults on the Autism Spectrum.  She wrote many books, articles and tried to help other adults on the Autism Spectrum.  Within her own life though she was experiencing constant and heightened anxiety.  She was not getting the help she required and sadly she committed suicide as a result.  This is why people need to understand the Autism Spectrum better.  If they cannot see what is happening, then sadly it can just be too late.  I just find that largely people are unaware of their behaviours but some non Autistic people try their best to understand our world.  We are largely introspective and not always aware of things we may be doing.

Across the Autism Spectrum anxiety is a serious issue.  I know of adults who exercise regularly to try and control the levels of anxiety which they experience.  I know myself the benefits of just getting the heart rate up and cardio vascular system working to release serotonin and other chemicals to the brain.  Some friends I know jog, walk, and just do some cardio exercises just to increase heart rate and reduce anxiety as best they can.  Exercise is important and it does not always need to be physical or overly strenuous.  I believe that Aspies are prone more to allergy and indigestion problems.  I think this is because our bodies are constantly in a raised state of alertness.  With an alertness the internal tension mainly due to anxiety causes the body's digestive system to not digest food properly and also affect the immune system.  What I am simply saying is the body of an Aspie is trying to control anxiety levels more so than  largely fight off illness and sickness. Of course this needs to be proved medically.  If food is not digesting in the body properly the question is how does it affect other parts of the body, especially the brain?  Is the brain actually being influenced by chemicals which have not been broken down in the body properly etc?  I have found that I have always had problems and issues with indigestion.  Some foods have driven me into sensory overload and some have even made me feel tired, irritable, cranky etc.  I am just not sure exactly which ones but I do know I have certain allergies.  I am wondering if milk or the processing of foods is in fact having an affect and causing an increase in Autism or more importantly aggravate its symptoms?  I know of some Aspies who cannot drink milk, or react seriously to Gluten.  Do we therefore need a different diet?

Exercise is important for everyone but for Aspies it is a way to significantly reduce anxiety.  Just going for a walk, jog, or even using a treadmill in the gym can assist a lot with controlling anxiety.  When negative thoughts encroach it is important to control the thoughts more so than the thoughts controlling you.  I know of one Aspie who deals with negative thoughts by simply controlling these thoughts and not allowing them to flourish.  I do not think there is an Autism epidemic but I do believe that there is more awareness.  With awareness comes the need for support and coping strategies for the adult population.  Services still need to catch up and awareness and it is important that exercise exists to better place Aspies in a position of largely being free of anxiety.  Ask yourself if you are Aspie the following questions.  Is your wiring different?  How do you manage anxiety?  What is the importance of exercise in your life and are you getting enough of it?   

Between two worlds

I currently feel a large sense of confusion in my life at the moment.  Either I can try very hard and struggle to fit into the Non Autistic World or I can just try and live life as best I can with the cards I am dealt with.  The problem I seriously find is that I am ahead of my time. People just cannot see why I am different and the challenges which I confront.  Having just made close friends with another adult on the Autism Spectrum, I have heard of his stories which he has told me in his journal.  I never really kept a journal myself as when I was younger I just coped as best I could.  The thing which is ironic is that this friend's journal is almost identical to the way I lived and experienced difficulities in the past.  I hope one day that he visits Australia but some Aspies just are agreeable but when it comes to making the effort it is simply all too much and being overwhelmed they cannot follow through with it.

I am fortunate in my life to be where I am but people do not see the loneliness, the struggles, the anxiety and confusion that I experience on a day to day basis.  I just feel like I am a half caste between both the Autistic and Non Autistic Worlds.  No matter what I say, think or feel I have to be extremely careful as to not offend people.  I often do not understand how I do offend people and when I have I often confused as to exactly why.   I have to admit that the friendship I have now formed with this other Aspie is something out of this world.  I have never had a friend as close as this in my life ever.  It is awesome but it should not compare to other friendships I have.  Very few people actually understand me.  I feel a constant sense of having to conform to other people's expectations and if I don't then I am simply just not good enough.  At times I feel I am going insane because I constantly think outside the box and this simply is not acceptable.

The week for me is a constant challenge of making sense of the world around me, trying not to offend people and feeling a sense of trying not to walk on broken egg shells in order to not make noise.  Also I spend vast amounts of time in social isolation and in all honesty I am not getting the help I require.  I just look like everyone else and I need to change and conform but what if I am not happy doing this and what if by doing this it makes me feel more inferior and depressed?  It simply just is not easy.  It seems that withdrawing myself largely from society helps me to cope better.  I experience less anxiety and more importantly people do not confuse me.  I often even wonder if I am achieving anything in my life and what my purpose is?  I constantly seem to fail at anything I attempt or when I try to talk to other people I just find myself on the outer with them and feel that what is really the point?

I have to be careful when I open my mouth that I do not offend anyone.  I just cannot have my own thoughts without the fear of criticism encroaching on me.  This is why I write a blog.  I just find it a constant struggle to communicate verbally and non verbally with people.  I am between two worlds and I find I am constantly finding ways to no longer be forced to conform into an existence which just makes me feel confused, stressed and anxious.  Why can't people just see it?  I just don't really know.   I don't know where I am heading in life and I take each day as it comes.  I try to minimise anxiety, stress, tension and worry.  This is not always easy but I try and do my best.