This morning I contacted Life Line Counseling. I had no one else I could really speak to about my own situation. I feel better now. I really found the friendship I had with another Aspie just too difficult. I felt he played with my head and I was experiencing above normal levels of anxiety. I just can't seem to handle friendships or relationships as the intensity is often just too much. I just cannot handle complications and needy people. I feel bad as I have had to drop a few friends on the Autism Spectrum because of intensity issues. I just feel alone at times and not getting the help I need but did find the counseling from Life Line helpful.
As an older Aspie I feel that I am more often surviving then living. I think for older Aspies that as we age we that we give up on certain aspects of our life. We find things often too overwhelming and we live in our world. I felt in the instance with the younger Aspie that sometimes wrongful judgements are made. I am perceived as being homosexual or something. I am just tired of the stigma. It is hard enough surviving when you think and act differently to others. So far this year I have been dropped by 3 friends and I see it as their loss really and not mine. They never really understood anyway.
I think for older Aspies we are the pioneers and the younger Aspies have a better world. Several generations will change to allow for improvement I hope but for me I just have to survive as best I can. Even when I state the obvious that things are harder as you get older, people tell me not to be negative. It is harder to learn the skills a person has learned in their lifetime or with earlier intervention. I just cannot control my mind and need to do my best or the best that I can.
I have made the decision to end communication with this younger Aspie. I felt the age barrier was to big, there were some assumptions perhaps made about me from his family and the friendship I had with him caused me unnecessary worry. I feared the sabotage factor which simply means that after a certain period of time that a perhaps no longer bothers with you. If you can imagine this then you can begin to realise how much harder a relationship is with the opposite sex? Yes that's right it is harder and more difficult when you simply think, act and behave differently.
In a closing note I would like to thank the Aspie whom I wish to not mention due to reasons of privacy for giving me hope in knowing that I do exist as a person. His situation was very similar to my own diagnosis at the age of 25 but he is fortunate to have support from his brother which in my case is different. I just feel like an unwanted freak in relation to my siblings. I am not depressed nor suicidal but I have come to realise like Dr Temple Grandin that advocacy is the only way forward but also a sense of seclusion also. I just find it hard to trust humanity but I do know there are good people out there who are supportive where they can be. I would encourage any person in Australia to ring this number http://www.lifeline.org.au/ and you don't need to be suicidal just have someone listen and understand you if you are lonely or need help. I really have to convey my thoughts and what better way to do this then writing to clear my mind.
Thanks once again for anyone who reads my blog as I appreciate it to help get the awareness out there
Kind regards
Garry Burge
As an older Aspie I feel that I am more often surviving then living. I think for older Aspies that as we age we that we give up on certain aspects of our life. We find things often too overwhelming and we live in our world. I felt in the instance with the younger Aspie that sometimes wrongful judgements are made. I am perceived as being homosexual or something. I am just tired of the stigma. It is hard enough surviving when you think and act differently to others. So far this year I have been dropped by 3 friends and I see it as their loss really and not mine. They never really understood anyway.
I think for older Aspies we are the pioneers and the younger Aspies have a better world. Several generations will change to allow for improvement I hope but for me I just have to survive as best I can. Even when I state the obvious that things are harder as you get older, people tell me not to be negative. It is harder to learn the skills a person has learned in their lifetime or with earlier intervention. I just cannot control my mind and need to do my best or the best that I can.
I have made the decision to end communication with this younger Aspie. I felt the age barrier was to big, there were some assumptions perhaps made about me from his family and the friendship I had with him caused me unnecessary worry. I feared the sabotage factor which simply means that after a certain period of time that a perhaps no longer bothers with you. If you can imagine this then you can begin to realise how much harder a relationship is with the opposite sex? Yes that's right it is harder and more difficult when you simply think, act and behave differently.
In a closing note I would like to thank the Aspie whom I wish to not mention due to reasons of privacy for giving me hope in knowing that I do exist as a person. His situation was very similar to my own diagnosis at the age of 25 but he is fortunate to have support from his brother which in my case is different. I just feel like an unwanted freak in relation to my siblings. I am not depressed nor suicidal but I have come to realise like Dr Temple Grandin that advocacy is the only way forward but also a sense of seclusion also. I just find it hard to trust humanity but I do know there are good people out there who are supportive where they can be. I would encourage any person in Australia to ring this number http://www.lifeline.org.au/ and you don't need to be suicidal just have someone listen and understand you if you are lonely or need help. I really have to convey my thoughts and what better way to do this then writing to clear my mind.
Thanks once again for anyone who reads my blog as I appreciate it to help get the awareness out there
Kind regards
Garry Burge
