Younger Days and obssessions

Apparently only a handful of people ever really reach their potential or acquire the job they want in their lives. For me, I like other people and with all modesty taken into account, have still not been able to find and utilise my full potential. As a child, my interests and obsessions were very specialised. I had a fascination with death and cemeteries not in a morbid way but why people put other people into boxes and lowered them into the ground. I can remember visiting my Paternal Great Grandmothers Grave in Caboolture and wondered why more than one person was below a gravestone and furthermore if the persons below the ground looked like those that I saw in the flesh around me. I was so perplexed with death at an early age, that my mind tried to work out what the process was all about and whether God was this man in White Satin with a long beard that allowed those who were good to pass through the Pearly Gates and those who were not granted denial. I also wondered if deceased persons turned into a star and as you can imagine my childhood obsessions did not go over well around other people and also at a dinner side table. I also had very eccentric interests, I was interested in why men had chains on their waste coats in the past century later to find that these fitted onto a pocket watch. I tried to make my own pocket watch with an old watch face and a chain to replicate the real watch itself and my parents bought me a watch which I still have to this day which once wound works for a day and then needs to be rewound again. I thought why does a watch need a chain and why could only pocket watches be worn in a man's waist coat. I also had an active imagination as a child turning a dull surrounding into a living reality. When I was younger, I used to visit the Sunshine Coast with my Grandma, cousin and aunt. Back then Mudjimba consisted of the "Blue Rinse" clique who as a child I could not understand why Grannies put colours in their hair and why Mudjimba was so backward. The only high rise in those days was Surf Air which was the highest building on the coastal strip and the beaches used to have tidal coffee rock which sometimes was apparent and endemic on Sunshine Coast beaches and other times hidden beneath the sand. These rocks used to be carved out with mother natures hand into small rock pools and when waves washed into them you sometimes had mini blow holes or washing machine type affects in the rocks with the water penetrating or flowing through the gapes or holes within the rock itself. If you got the rock and grinded it, you could make an artifical coffee and sand cakes which my brother showed me with three types of sand. Firstly you would get the wet sand and make it into a cake, then mix the drier sand in with it and then complete the cake of sand with dry sand. These sand cakes had several uses in that they could be used as ammunition or catapulted long distances. Furthermore, sand castles could be made by moulding sand a long the edges of the sea and wet sand could mould steeple like affects onto the sand castle. My imagination got me through a lot of turbulent and difficult times when I was younger. I had no friends but I had an imagination and could write good stories about the sea, and escaping to some island and encountering another world. I still have to this day an active imagination and this is more so evident when walking along the beach and noticing the moon above the calm water of the ocean. I used to think of sea monsters or pirates upon the sea and early sea explorers. Also beaches used to have a collection of shells and the cone type shells with the yellow and brown in them made for interesting observation also. I remember collecting Hermit Crabs and Frogs but being cruel to them not realising I had to let them go after I caught them. I had a bucket of Hermit Crabs which I once collected and took them home only to realise next morning they were all dead because they lacked the necessary oxygen and requirements necessary to survive. I was fascinated with the way the Hermit Crab dug into the wet sand and hid under it's surface and how Frogs lived in the nearby creek but when I spotted a Cane Toad swimming in the creek that was the end of visits to the creek to catch frogs. As a kid I always thought frogs were always green and toads brown. I realised that some brown what I suspected were toads were actually frogs and some of these brown frogs could jump long distances. The brown frogs with longer legs could jump over a metre or so if disturbed and the more distance the frog could jump the more I wanted to catch one. I also had an interest in collecting different coloured butterflies and trying to work out which coloured butterfly corresponded to which particular bush. A lot of people were concerned or irritated by my behaviours but I could escape into my own world and not be disturbed. Nobody could hassle me with my butterfly collecting, or frog spotting and collecting. If people were cruel or ignored me then I had my imagination and nobody could penetrate that as I could rely on my intelligence to escape fights but could not escape teasing which did occur and that I couldn't control. I had many obsessions that were peculiar but my interest in orchids and certain flower species was another fascination. My Grandmother's next door neighbour had orchids and I was fascinated with how these flowering plants could grow on tree trunks. This neighbour was stingy though and despite my constant nagging for Orchid Runners and small plants, I just couldn't get any from him. I remember though sneaking some runners from over the fence and this neighbour always had an eye on his orchids in case an unsuspecting kid crept in and pinched some but I began to purchase my own orchids and when I had the right conditions was able to grow them very well. I went to orchid shows and over the years collected my own species. I have lost a lot of interests now for over the years my interests were never nurtured and I didn't realise that I was annoying people by constantly talking on and on about them. Unfortunately I cannot have orchids now or grow them properly as I still live with my parents and because they are getting older, I am unable to look after them properly because the requirements needed are hard to install. Sometimes you just have to take the cards that you are dealt. I was able to ride a push bike and learned surprisingly fast. I used to go for long rides as a teenager but up until a couple of years ago had a serious accident breaking my wrist and cutting my jaw open. I went into the MP"s office with blood streaming out and people looking at me as I was some kind of freak. I lost quite a bit of blood apparently but at least someone was there to help. I could go on but this is only a glimpse of my life as a younger person.

Why Australians needs to open their minds and their hearts

Compared to other countries of the world, Australia is a very lucky country but traveling to and from Australia requires a person to travel such long distances. Australia seems also to suffer from an isolation complex and when reaching its shores, many Australians seem reserved and isolated from the rest of the world. Luckily the internet has made the world smaller but does Australia need to open its doors to allow for an increase in immigration and furthermore a means of creating a more open minded society? I know there are many people who think that Australian immigration should curb and that we should be turning away boat people from our shores. The question is why and should people who are coming from countries where their quality of life is below or escaping persecution be confronted with unfair treatment? There is no simple answer to the solution but I do believe Australia could be doing a great deal more than it is at present. If migrants are allowed to enter Australia and given the opportunity to work, more infrastructure, more technology and greater production could occur. For instance you see before you how long it takes for roads to be fixed, infrastructure lacking and competition barely existent. With an increase in immigration and assimilation, more cultures allow people in Australia to see other cultures and thankfully the White Australia Policy no longer exists where people from other nationalities were excluded because of their race and skin. Having traveled the world myself, I think Australians who have unfortunately not traveled widely do not realise how lucky they are to be living in this country. How many countries do you see grown men and women playing sport and let alone getting paid for it occurring. I think the biggest problem in any society is when people have closed minds and not open to competition and furthermore eccentricity. I get sick and tired of people who have a narrow field of vision and because of this display often a high level of intolerance. I think Australia unlike other countries has been fortunate to have not directly confronted an attack from another country or experienced civil wars. Within the world, other countries have been in theatres of war because they have had to protect their boarders but Australia only experienced an attack on Darwin and some possible submarine attacks on strategic points along its east coast. I think isolation tends to make Australians different to other nations in the rest of the world. Perhaps this creates complacency also? I find some Australians very defensive and when trying to engage in conversation or present some form of information, rather than being open minded and perhaps tolerant, they seem to be on the attack. They seem quick to dismiss anything that is new to them and furthermore try to conform others into some kind of tribalism. As a person on the Autistic Spectrum rather than understood, people seem to be more critical, dismissive and defensive when trying to converse with them. If you don't share an interest in sport, more so Rugby League, you often receive the comment "Mate if you don't follow Rugby League then you're not Aussie". What people don't realise is how much the media actually brain washes and controls their lives. It is scary to think that people are not thinking for themselves anymore and the mass media is taking over people's minds and influencing their lives. I find the social world very harsh and sometimes very cruel. You often feel pushed around and criticised just for the way you think which you cannot always control and yet people seem to be defensive or dismissive. If you are eccentric you tend to stand out and not be expected as in the case if you are in the United Kingdom. Society really needs to start becoming more open minded and things are improving but they need to continue more so. I have been pleased by Australia's involvement in the last Football World Cup but I would be disappointed if Australia gives up too easily. As a nation we need to compete more and see ourselves as being part of the world despite our isolation. We need to open our minds to people who are different rather than dismiss them and more importantly Australians need to understand the Autistic Spectrum Disorder more and not expect everything to be one way. I am often criticised or misunderstood myself by some sectors of society but if people or persons would just sit down or try to listen to my way of thinking then they would understand the difficulties, challenges and different ways of seeing things which I possess. Too often people dismiss someone too early rather than giving them a chance to express themselves and make themselves known. This is something clearly evident to someone on the Autistic Spectrum. I think Australia needs to go a long way to understand Asperger Syndrome and Autism to match countries like the United Kingdom and some parts of the United States and hopefully in time this will happen soon. I cannot cruscade as one person alone in trying to make things happen and nor am I high profile to help get the message out there more, but simply expressing myself in this blog will hopefully begin to make acceptance and tolerance happen. I am tired of having to try and conform to other people's expectations and be exposed to their criticisms. I think as Australians we need to take our place on the world stage and not be coy too easily with competition and isolation from the rest of the world. Open mindedness creates room for tolerance in inclusion as opposed to exclusion and rejection. Hopefully one day more understanding of Autism and inclusion of other persons will happen but sadly it is going to take time unless people start to open their minds more.

Desperate times call for desperate measures when no one seems to be able to understand

Dear United Nations I am an adult with Asperger Syndrome and I currently live in Australia. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in July 1998, and I am currently working part time in the University of Queensland Social Sciences Library in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. What I would like to bring to your attention is the inability of governments and the general community in understanding Asperger Syndrome in Adults. As an adult I find that despite there being Disability Discrimination Acts and support within the work environment that in the general community there is not a real clear understanding of Asperger Syndrome being on the Autistic Spectrum. Governments seem unable to act and understand and the community in general don't really seem to be able to exactly fathom how Asperger Syndrome affects you as an adult. I am currently Staff Representative on the University of Queensland Disability Sub Committee as per my signature below and I have helped form an Asperger Syndrome Support Group for both staff and students at the University of Queensland. This group presently meets once a week and fortunately the university is beginning to recognise Asperger Syndrome as a disability but as you can imagine there are many roads and bridges that still need to be crossed. I know of adults who are being exploited in the workplace, not given adequate work breaks and over looked in areas of employment even with some employers bearing Anti Discrimination laws. In my spare time I promote a lot of advocacy in Australia and in the global community on Asperger Syndrome as an adult. I have met with politicians, employers and spoken to members within the Asperger Syndrome Community about the needs and support that are lacking in the Australian Community. This has occurred since diagnosis in 1998 and up until the present. Many children are unable to obtain support at an early age, and there seems to be no real acknowledgment of just how important early intervention is and furthermore the transition into adulthood. Asperger Syndrome was re-discovered in 1981 by Lorna Wing from Hans Asperger an Austrian Pediatrician who highlighted the difficulties of children in being able to socialise, understand and adjust to the world around them. As more awareness is trying to be raised in the community, there are still many adults and children within the community that are still not aware of Asperger Syndrome as a condition and it seems to me that the government just wants to sweep this important issue under the carpet. Recently the United Kingdom passed an Autism Bill to recognise Autism as a disability but Australia is sadly lagging behind the United Kingdom in terms of awareness. I am fortunate that I work in a supportive work environment but I know of other adults who are simply unable to obtain employment and live a lower quality of life than the main stream. The issues of high unemployment, social isolation, depression, anxiety are some of the pressing issues which confront them and as an adult I feel adults with Asperger Syndrome are just in some kind of backwash with no clear understanding or solutions. In my spare time, I undertake a lot of advocacy and have linked adults with Asperger Syndrome to other adults with Asperger Syndrome on a global scale via skype. The group now has a counselor who is able to talk online with them as I know all too well of the difficulties of social isolation and depression and how such negative effects cripple a person socially and anxiety wise. I write this email as I feel that the Autistic Spectrum needs more attention within the Australian Community and as an adult I am concerned for my own future and for other people affected by Autism in the Australian Community. Many are living below a normal quality of life and this is a serious issue. I hope one day that an Autism Bill is introduced into Australia but when or if this is going to happen is just an anxious wait. I am tired of governments saying they will address Autism with money and support not going to essential services and a means of promoting more awareness. I often feel like I am treading water and I know of a lot of other adults within the same position. If Asperger Syndrome could be highlighted more and acknowledged more within the United Nations, then a global acceptance will hopefully occur. I hope when you read my email that hopefully you will see my case for acknowledging and supporting Asperger Syndrome as a disability and a reality. Below are some of the inequalities at present in relation to Asperger Syndrome in Australia which I have experienced at first hand: 1. Inability of employment agencies to assist adults with Asperger Syndrome find employment 2. Lack of on the job support for adults currently employed and who need assistance with staff/career development 3. More acknowledgment of Autism within the Disability Discrimination Act 4. Support for Accommodation to allow adults with Asperger Syndrome independent accommodation to take the strain of parents and families (some adults in their 30s - 60's still living at home with parents) 5. lack of funding to vital organisations such as Asperger Services Australia to provide services to adults and children and to pay essential staff members within this organisation. The list goes on but these are some essential services There are many families and people aching on the Autistic Spectrum to obtain support but all we can do is be patient and hope that change will happen soon. As I get older myself now at 37 years of age, I am beginning to see vital services and support fading away. I find it hard to obtain a relationship and find networks within the community because I lack the necessary social skills and understanding to be able to find these. All I can do is promote awareness and hope that one day support will reach those in need but all I can do at present is be patient and wait. It makes me personally sad when I see in the United Kingdom an Autism Bill providing support and services to adults and finding nothing exists here in Australia. What are people affected by Autism expected to do? I am aware that there are Autism Agencies in Australia but more needs to happen and greater funding needs to go to vital services and organisations who will deliver to those in need on the Autistic Spectrum I look forward to hearing from you and hope that my email provides some awareness of a serious situation. I know there are other more important needs which require attention but Autism also should be looked into Some important links UK Autism Bill http://services.parliament.uk/bills/2008-09/autism.html Asperger Services Australia (which needs vital funding) http://www.asperger.asn.au/Home.aspx Dr Tony Attwood (based in Australia) http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ my blog also exists on Tony's website by going to Support Groups in Brisbane Kind regards Mr Garry Burge

Exercise Program for Aspies

There are a lot of benefits to regular exercise with the one major benefit being a significant reduction in anxiety levels. As I go now to UQ gym 3 times a week starting at 6.50am or 7am, I follow a program which helps to burn calories and increase my cardio vascular. As I am on the Disability Sub Committee at UQ, I have run by the School of Human Movements, a look or a means of structuring exercises for adults on the spectrum. No response has been received as of yet so I am going at it alone. Exercise helps with breathing also and encourages breathing where it is needed and this in itself causes I believe muscles to relax and to ensure deep breathing which also assists with sleep. Aspies have a lot of anxiety issues and perhaps this is because of the wiring in the brain continually causing electrical activity with the brain finding it hard to shut down where this is needed, particularly sleep. Perhaps a regular exercise and better sleep management ensures that the difficulties of executive function are less. Running I believe is also good exercise but an exercise pattern for adults with AS is perhaps a good way to prevent mental health issues. Last night I watched the Insight Program on SBS which showed Mental Health. What and why does mental health affect so many people? Are we pushing ourselves harder and interacting less as social creatures? I have been in touch briefly with Professor Patrick McGorry and informing him that we should be medicating people less which he agrees with. I just wish he also had an interest in Autism but I guess not but you never know what may happen in the future. Anyhow exercise seems like a good way to significantly reduce anxiety levels and should not be over looked too quickly. You don't need to go to the gym to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger but more so keep fit.

Asperger Syndrome in Adults the realities

As I continue to write posts on my blog, I may perhaps appear obsessed with my blog posts but I feel frustrated in the lack of services available to myself and other adults as well as the lack of understanding. As I reach out to more and more adults with Asperger Syndrome, I hear continually the fact that they still rely often on their parents to live with, they are on a low quality of life, some are unable to obtain employment and more importantly some are depressed and socially isolated. I just cannot understand why governments continue to turn a blind eye to the issues of Autism. In reality I think more and more people have to begin to understand how exactly being on the Autistic Spectrum affects a person's life and those around them. Amongst the Aspie community more and more adults with AS are disadvantaged by unemployment. Furthermore the important distinction which a lot of emphasis is that mobility impairment is different to cognitive impairment. When I mean this I am not saying the person is brain damaged or suffers from mental illness but more so the individual affected sees the world differently to others and interprets, events, people, communication, around them differently. Some adults have a great deal of wealth and experience and knowledge but often this is overlooked with some adults unemployed and simply unable to find employment. What really needs to be addressed is that amongst Aspies unemployment is at it highest peak and without an income, many adults confront a poor quality of life. They are unable to fund their interests, afford to get counseling and access to vital services and living in a world they don't always understand, they are the mercy of breakdowns or severe burnout. I know many adults with Asperger Syndrome who vary from case to case and AS affects them differently but yet they suffer anxiety, social isolation and find it hard to make friends and be understood fully by people around them. Not having friendships and social networks also means that the possibility of relationships and finding employment is a real issue. I often speak to other adults on Skype, some are more routine bound and others unable to find a relationship or employment. People with Asperger Syndrome are not like other groups of people in that they are not actively noisy for as you can imagine we lack social queues and networks and often because of this we suffer in silence. Many Asperger Adults are afraid to seek diagnosis or come out of the wood work for fear of persecution or rejection and indeed some adults are not aware they have Asperger Syndrome which is why information needs to get out there and more and more people need to become aware of the existence of Asperger Syndrome to help others who may not realise they are on the Autistic Spectrum. I do a lot of advocacy myself and often you feel like you are an Ant trying to push up an elephant but you realise that the more you push and the more other ants who push the elephant, the more the elephant will eventually move. As I continue to be an advocate for Asperger Syndrome I am happy to talk at conferences and functions and even in parliament if it this is required to get the message out there. More needs to be done and hopefully more adults will once more awareness is out there come forward and realise others will accept AS rather than be behind a veil of ignorance. We can only keep our fingers crossed.

People who try and force you to be Neuro Typical

One of the things that really annoys me is people who insist on trying to make you think and act like a Neuro Typical Person when your wiring is different. Sometimes parents can get into the habit of feeling hurt or saying you are somehow cruel when you don't respond to affections and hugs. People with Autism tend to find such interaction as intruding on their personal space and sadly because people don't understand Autism, people can make rather cruel insinuations themselves. Perhaps the person is incapable of loving, they are cold because they cannot show emotions or lack empathy etc. I find living around people who think and act Neuro Typical feels like suffocation. You cannot be yourself and you constantly have to carry some kind of guilt for thinking and feeling the way you do. You are often betrayed as some kind of cold human being and having to bare their criticisms further lowers your self esteem. People often think I am incapable and somehow need to be babied constantly but they don't realise that I am independent and capable of doing things on my own. I am and learn to be independent and I don't want sympathy from people or for them to feel sorry for me. Look at other people who are worse off who may be sick, missing a limb, unable to walk, see or talk. I don't need to be pitied or treated like one girl said "It's amazing you get out!". I am not a cripple and I have achieved a lot in my life. I have learned to be independent and I really don't want people to feel sorry for me. I like my space, I don't like my space encroached on and if people think I am a cold person well in this world you cannot please everyone. People on the Autistic Spectrum survive as best they can and we are not crippled people, we just see and interpret things around us differently than you do. Please don't make assertions or judgments about us as we don't need them. All we ask for is tolerance and understanding. I am tired of having to carry guilt and feelings that NT people enforce upon me. I have a hard time interpreting such feelings and people need to understand Autism more. Some people with Autism hate being hugged or touched and this is due to sensory issues. We are like cats for cats sometimes get over stimulated easily with being touched and react by sticking their coats up. I get tired of people saying "You can be so cruel sometimes". I don't understand how I am being cruel when I simply state what I can and cannot handle. Often the tolerance and understanding has to come from siblings who have to begin to understand that the person on the Autistic Spectrum cannot help be the way they are and surely isolating or criticizing them from a distance is not the answer. Tolerance and understanding need to come from talking to the person themselves. If the Autistic Person is cruel then surely rejection and intolerance are cruel also? It cannot be all one way.

How much do we really know about James Dean?

In 1955, a 24 year old actor was killed on a highway in California. His name was James Dean and he had just finished the final close of his movie "Giant". James Dean was a short term actor who made 3 movies in his life, "East of Eden" , "Rebel Without A Cause" and "Giant". What I am going to talk about here may give my personal account of James Dean and his troubled life. James Dean was born in Fairmont Indiana in 1931 which was a small town in the United States. He lived his early years in Fairmont and in his latter years became involved in Basket Ball and acting. He first made a break in a 1955 Pepsi Commercial which earned him a ride to Hollywood. Despite being an up and coming actor, James Dean struggled personally with the death of his mother when he was 9 years old. I remember reading about James Dean and how when his mother died, the young James Dean would check at every station from Hollywood to Fairmont to ensure her coffee was still on the train and how he would cry beside his mother's grave wondering why she died when he was about 9 years of age. I believe James Dean and Marilyn Monroe lived troubled lives. Back in their day, mental illness was hushed up and people needed to be strong. Also James Dean may have been bi sexual and struggled with being like this. In his last movie "Giant" he worked a long Rock Hudson so perhaps some kind of activity may have happened but I don't really want to go there. I think James Dean wrestled with loneliness and perhaps may have had bipolar. He lead an unconventional life, he was known to have insomnia and furthermore he had mood swings and was difficult to work with on a movie set often telling Directors what they should do more so than him obeying their directions and commands. What we need to remember is that with his death in Salinas, James Dean was not speeding. In fact it was the error of the other driver who caused Dean's death by James Dean swerving to miss the car which ultimately caused the 24 year's old death. James Dean had a cat called Marcus which was given to him by the young Elizabeth Taylor and his Porsche Spider was supposedly cursed with his friend of the time Alec Guiness warning him not to drive the car. There was an Australian also in the movie set "Giant", Rod Taylor. I think James Dean wrestled a lot with his personal issues in life and often spent most of his time car racing. While not on movie sets, James Dean was fulfilling his passion of being a speedcar driver in California. Sadly with the death of James Dean at the age of 24 on September 30 1955, we knew very little about him fully and his life as a person. He is remembered as the rebel in Rebel Without A Cause and perhaps invented the collar up appearance in young adults today and the flick knife fight at the observatory. Will we find out more about James Dean as time goes by to really understand whether he had bipolar or not? Perhaps we may never know?

Could the origins of Asperger Syndrome be from Austria?

I know some people may not understand what I am on about here or others either, but I have often wondered if Asperger Syndrome can be traced from Austria and also around Bavaria in Germany? Most of us are aware of Hans Asperger the Austrian Pediatrician who first observed the traits of Asperger Syndrome in children in 1944. However, what I have noticed is that a lot of eccentric people came from Austria in the musical world and of course Sigmund Freud. Musical eccentricity is deeply entrenched in Vienna and perhaps Vienna itself may have a high report of Asperger Syndrome cases or diagnosis? I am only assuming this but of course there have been many eccentrics who were born in Austria, including Mozart. What question needs to be asked is why was Asperger Syndrome discovered in Austria and although not all Aspies have Austrian blood, perhaps one could assume Austria to be a hotbed of Aspieness. I don't think Asperger Syndrome can be tied down to one area but with the birth of eccentric people baring the Aspie traits, perhaps their eccentricity and behaviours brought other Aspies out of the woodwork or by being close to Austria perhaps eccentricity was tolerated and accepted in certain countries. I have visited Vienna myself and no doubt you can recall the musical abilities and eccentricity which comes out of the place. Also did Hans Asperger Syndrome have Asperger Syndrome himself to notice the behaviours in children he observed? A lot of questions can be answered. Also if you notice some Austrian customs perhaps you can draw a conclusion of where you can or may see some Aspie tendencies. What leads me to possibly conclude that Austria is a hotbed of Aspieness is that the place is full of eccentrics. There are musical eccentrics and musicians who are wrapped up in their talents but portray very little social skills and some lead solitary lives. Also Violin Timber comes from Austria and some notable musical instruments were developed there. The very extreme of Austism but not really a good example is the birth of Adolf Hitler in Austria, but not a name one would like to associate with the Autistic Spectrum. Whether or not Austria is a hotbed of Aspieness needs further research but I see a lot of eccentricity coming out of Austria and the question needs to be asked is why it was an Austrian Pediatrician who noticed Asperger traits in children with Asperger Syndrome. I cannot with accuracy say that what I am suggesting in this post can be given full credibility or proof but further investigation would be needed to actually look at the genetics of some Austrians to investigate the ratio of Asperger Syndrome cases and whether or not Austria has a higher statistic of Asperger Syndrome within its population. Also the Austrians live very rigid lifestyles and are routine bound and perhaps this says something also but again research is needed to prove or dispel what I am suggesting in my post.

The government needs to listen

In my meetings with a lot of politicians and key groups in society, I constantly point out as best I can the challenges and difficulties adults on the Autistic Spectrum confront. These issues being high unemployment, social isolation and the list can go on. I constantly here of funding to certain areas within the community but sadly the Autistic Spectrum receives little mention or funding. If for instance Asperger Services Australia were successful in setting up a grant and obtaining funding from the government, hopefully key support and services would become available to adults. We could see the following and I hope one day this becomes a reality: 1. Employment Agencies to provide job placements and career development for adults 2. Central location building in a capital city i.e Brisbane where adults can go to if they need help with counseling, employment, making friends, overcoming social isolation, advice etc 3. Improvement in housing so adults on the Autistic Spectrum can live independently and not be discriminated against rent 4. Minds and Hearts to make it easier for adults to obtain medicare rebate and cheaper consultation fees so those on lower incomes can obtain support and advice 5. Governments seeing Autistic Spectrum as a reality and to see invisible (unseen) disabilities as a reality. Just because a person on the Autistic Spectrum looks like everyone else does not mean they don't need help or struggle. 6. The introduction of an Autism Spectrum Bill or awareness at a federal level in parliament. Australia has 22 million people surely this is not hard to organise and implement? Hopefully in time more and more awareness of the Autistic Spectrum will become evident and vital services and support will become available not only to children but more importantly when they make the transition to adulthood and current adults. We can only wait and hope politicians will stop twiddling their thumbs. There are a lot of families and individuals aching for support out there. I also devote a lot of my free and spare time to Asperger Syndrome advocacy and often feel I don't get anywhere with reaching out to certain organisations but being on the Disability Subcommittee of a University is at least one major achievement. Please consider the following questions for more reassurance 1. What would you do if your child was unable to adjust to mainstream education and people kept saying "your child has behaviour issues and is naughty"?". 2. You as an adult were unable to obtain or hold down a job and lived below the mainstream quality of life? 3. You are socially isolated and because you may be eccentric or odd, people may say things about you or you confront some areas of discrimination in your life? 4. You are socially isolated and find it hard to access the community because you need help with social skills and people to understand why it is difficult. 5. Looking like everyone else but the disability or condition you have is largely unseen and you struggle internally and nobody knows or sees your struggles?

The reality stakes for Aspie Adults

As many people are aware, Asperger Syndrome covers a broad spectrum and effects each individual differently. However, what I cannot understand is why people are unable to accept Asperger Syndrome as a disability as well as some sectors of the medical fraternity. If adults with Asperger Syndrome represent the highest unemployment stakes and some are unable to enter or find relationships or suffer social isolation, then what account do closed minded people have to explain Asperger Syndrome as not being a disability or a cognitive impairment. I constantly find the world around me is often not understanding of my situation. Being the much used label word "Single", I find friends around me and some areas of the socialisation process coy and excluding of my as an individual. If you keep to yourself, society seems to portray you as some kind of deviant or dysfunctional human being and as one ignoramus put it, "Do you think you would enter a gay relationship?". What is it with people and why do they have to try and put people into boxes when they don't understand that Asperger Syndrome is a reality and people like myself are looking around for services. We live in a very cruel and conforming world where the mass media pumps out make believe and false images of success and those of us who are single, especially Aspie would like a relationship with someone of the opposite sex but it is all too much in the hard basket. I know of some adults who actually pay for sex because they are unable to know the social queues and games which need to be played to enter a relationship. I like many other Aspies have had ignorant people act on their false assumptions of thinking that a single person who is Aspie must be gay or entering the priesthood or have some other label if they are not in a relationship. I often find the world has more of an issue with me not being in a relationship than I think myself. There is nothing wrong with certain groups of people and the ones above mentioned have contributed a great wealth of talent and incentive into the world despite their different wiring. Some of those who perhaps want to persecute them have a fear of not accepting their deep down insecurities themselves and feel it useful to vent their anger on others. I think people don't realise who controlled they are by the television and media around them. The mechanisms which were once in place that were considered socially acceptable are fast breaking down themselves and nobody seems to know what to do about them. Life is not always fair but you need to make a go of things no matter how difficult these can be. I find I have to continually work on my flaws and try to conform to the NT world which I don't find easy. I struggle with chit chat and making small talk, I am serious a lot but I have had to organise my life to be where I am today. I have had to reinvent and jettison some of my Aspie traits because when I was younger, I said things straight out with thinking about them. I was punished wrongly and misunderstood in a school which sought to punish sensory issues. For instance in one instance I had to sit close to a door in the classroom as I had a phobia and I was reprimanded by a teacher for choosing to sit there despite her own neurosis of wanting children to sit on the other side of the room. I thought my actions were justified as there were chairs there and I thought I was in a classroom and had the right to sit on one. Anyhow, people need to change as the world cannot be all one way. NT people have to realise that Aspies cannot always try to be NT as sometimes the scales need to tilt the other way in understanding. I know some people may choose to disagree with what I am saying but please try to understand that Asperger Syndrome is a reality and it cannot continue to be swept under the carpet or ignored.

I am starting to feel better in myself

I am now starting my gym program and starting to feel better about myself. I am doing 10 mins on the bike, lat pull downs, bench presses, leg curls, sit ups and treadmill exercises. I am starting to feel less anxiety controlled and feel my performance levels are on the rise. I still find it hard to look at myself in the mirror. I hate wearing glasses and wish I could have my eyes treated with lazer so I could not have to wear glasses anymore but I am fearful of damaging them, so I will hold off for the moment I think. I can remember going back to the gym some months back and vomiting after a session I did. I knew I must have pushed myself too much and started to feel sick when I left the gym. As I got in the car I could feel it coming on and the consequences showed some time later and I had to lie down in the front car seats until I could get myself back into a feeling of normality. I have come to the realisation that I have to do things on my own and despite the challenges, I have to be strong. I am feeling though with gym exercises that hopefully my performance levels will increase and anxiety levels drop. Only time will tell. I also am going to look at doing cerebellum exercises and perhaps other Aspies may benefit from Cerebellum exercises which help to improve the cerebellum located near the brain which I worked on when I did the Dore Program. The media did its best to discredit this program and many adults with AS could have benefited from it. This afternoon I met with local member and showed her Autism Alert Card and information about Autism UK. Hopefully Asperger Services Australia will soon obtain funding.

More advocacy

This afternoon I met with a standing member within my electorate regarding Asperger Syndrome as an adult. I discussed the implementation of the Autism Bill within the United Kingdom, the recent employment seminar held at Asperger Services Australia, an Adult Autism Alert Card and the vision for improved services for adults with Asperger Syndrome in Australia. The meeting went well and I had coffee with the person concerned and provided them with information on Asperger Syndrome and hopefully funding to organisations like Asperger Services Australia which have an army of volunteers and certain key people within the organsiation who are not obtaining funding to improve services. Hopefully soon a grant will be presented to address the needs and requirements of adults and children and hopefully time will tell. I have another meeting tomorrow with a member of parliament in the cabinet regarding recent funding to disability services. I have been involved a lot in advocacy and hopefully breaking down more barriers within the community. I am hoping that more adults in Brisbane will start to reach out and strengthen and improve interaction to overcome social isolation and depression. It is also hoped that one day support will be available in this city to support the needs of adults but this is only a dream at the moment but hopefully things will change. Support for adults in finding employment, support, friendship and advocacy. We can only hope at this stage. More updates later.

My early years as an adult at Lorraine Martin College

In 1991, I enrolled at a college in Brisbane as my parents were concerned about my limited skills and abilities in relation to employment. Back in the past if you were not able to get a job you had to register with Social Security and then join CES. For me going on the Dole was no fun. I found the programs back then to support you were extremely limited and furthermore you were grouped in with people, some of whom did not want to work when you wanted to work but found finding a job and obtaining one very difficult. In 1991, I enrolled in a 19 week Business and Administration Course in Brisbane City. In those days, I was rather eccentric dressing up in sports coats, flash ties, leather shoes in a sub tropical climate. I struggled a lot in this course but I remember the touch typing classes of 10 minute duration where you would have to touch type a document which was worded like "the brown fox was hungry and not knowing what to eat saw some hens and decided to see if they were tasty". Well you know what I mean as different letters were used to demonstrate touch typing ability. The famous line which uses all letters "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" was a perfect example. I found this course was challenging but I did have a go at Bookkeeping also and found myself staying up to the late hours of the night balancing figures and working out why they couldn't balance. I found at the end of the course that I was still unemployable but am grateful for touch typing like I can today. It helped me write university assignments and helped me to write like I can today. I also learned that putting a person on hold was no longer than 30 seconds unlike today and I learned reception duties and writing cheques. Back then I could handle with struggle an 8am to 5pm working day which was only for a couple of weeks with the hours being rotated. I took things literally and I remembered getting a lot of help with bookkeeping which other students found easy and for me sensory issues which were not known back then were difficult. My teacher was Stella a lady from New Zealand and she helped me as best she could to understand basic bookkeeping. One of my first purchases was an electric typewriter which I purchased for $430 and it consisted of 2 daisy wheels. It could remember typed documents and word processors on computers were in their infancy.

Perseverance sometimes pays off

I am currently looking at undertaking speech pathology by recommendation of the counselor at Minds and Hearts. Apparently my monotone voice needs improvement as well as expression. Furthermore, it is hoped that I can obtain assistance with social skills and reading social queues and body language. I have also received positive news about my house sits but I am finding the awareness and advocacy of Asperger Syndrome a bit draining. I just feel I am not getting anywhere unless I have magic letters after my name. Anyhow all I can really do is keep the ball rolling and hope one day that more people will understand Asperger Syndrome than they do at present. Not being understood and seeing other adults below a reasonable quality of life is something that is not good and hopefully this will change.

What I could do if I get myself fit

I have now booked into gym sessions with the hope of getting my 37 soon to be 38 year old body into shape. I realise the importance of maintaining good health to not only keep fit but to control and reduce anxiety levels. As I have no commitments, I often think about the possibilities of mountain climbing overseas. Perhaps just a dream or a challenge but I often think about South America, New Zealand or somewhere around the Himalayas which are slightly ambitious. I also contemplate doing a walk perhaps Milford Track in New Zealand or the Cradle Mountain Walk in Tasmania. I do like to be totally free and free of the chains of expectations and regulations of Brisbane suburbia. Perhaps I can only think about and ponder such challenges but life is what you make of it and if you keep looking at doom and gloom, the road may not lead somewhere. I have been to Europe on my own, the United States and much closer to home, New Zealand and Tasmania. Getting fit though and having a challenge is also good to look forward too. Over the coming months starting from this Thursday, I will be starting the gym program so as to keep myself out of the health problem vacuum that begins in men as they start to hit the 40 period. I guess you can only dream but dreams are what keep you alive and looking forward with your life whether some succeed and others may not.

Escape to rural abyss

This weekend I am in Stanthorpe and I like to go here to avoid the rat race and trappings of Brisbane. Having recently been overseas, I look at the surrounds and they seem different with the ubiquitious eycalpyts and Granite Rocks that come into view once you climb the second Stanthorpe Range. This morning I drove to nearby Storm Creek Dam and then went into Stanthorpe to visit Sentimental Rocks and the creek which flows through the town centre. Last night, well this morning the temperature dropped to 0 degrees celcius and a light frost descended on the landscape around me. I have just had 2 vegemite sandwiches for lunch and a piece of date loaf. Although I can eat more, I hope to have something more soon. As I write this the Prime Minister has announced an election and it will be interesting to see how things unfold. She mentioned Autism, well if she can help out people with Autism, this would be greatly appreciated. I like the solitude of Stanthorpe and the sounds of birds and the wind in the trees. I often get tired of feeling I need to conform to some kind of regulated, closed minded way of thinking but being eccentric I usually be myself at any rate. Abyss is something an Aspie treasures more so than others I think.

My interest in History

One of the things I do enjoy and have a good memory for is dates in history. I cannot study just one area of history as I like to know about everything I can. I do have a stronger knowledge base and interest in some aspects of European History, American and Australian. When I repeated my Senior Certificate in 1993, I studied both Ancient and Modern History and obtained high marks in History assignments but found Ancient History more difficult. Ancient History relies heavily on primary sources and people like Tacitus, Plivy and Thucydides who wrote accounts of this early time. What we need to remember is that the further back you go, the more need for primary rather than secondary sources for information. There are very few accounts or information we can easily access at the time on say Pisistratus. Very few people would know who Pisistratus was and his contribution to history. When you think of his name you think perhaps of someone from the Latin period, perhaps he was some radical Roman or he existed in Greece. When researching someone like him there are very few accounts and secondary sources written around his time. If it weren't for Plutarch or other ancient scholars, we would know very little. One culture of interest is the Egyptians. They are to me very primitive or perhaps more I say mysterious in some of their customs and ways. When you see early statues and figurines, they show images of people with big wide 'spiritual' looking eyes and you wonder why their eyes were portrayed like this. Why did they build pyramids and furthermore have images of human figures with dog's heads or animal heads? There is so much we don't know but we can rely on primary sources of information to shed a light on the past. I look on youtube to find out about history and sometimes you get frustrated when you may pull up a link on Socrates and you hear some rock band music in the background or some other sound, when you want to hear information about the person. I would like to attend lectures or presentations where people are thinking about the subjects being discussed but to enrol as a non assessed student at UQ it is $400. Why pay such an amount when at the time of Plato and Aristotle people could attend the Academia to hear free presentations. When I focus on a specific topic of history, I like to know the finer detail. For instance if it relates to Slavs in Russia, I want to know how they got there, what their involvement was in relation to Russian history. If I visit an historical sight for which there were many in Europe. You get the Tourist presentation but what about the actual deep down fact? For instance a tourist goes to the Vatican, sees St Peter's Square but what about the statues that surround it and the historical significance of the square? Why did Michelangelo get so obsessed with painting Muriel and ceilings etc? I guess I think and analyse things too much but there is nothing wrong with wanting to find out and get your information wrong so long as you can further your knowledge.