As a person on the Autism Spectrum making friends is no easy task. The difficulty associated with friendship is the level of commitment, shared interests and expecations if any that are required. I personally believe that for a person on the Autism Spectrum that friendship does not come naturally. Often you have to work hard at being a friend or trying your best to develop a connection or find shared interests. If too much commitment or communication is invested then this can unfortunately be seen as intensity and if this intensity is too much then in drives the other person away. Not all persons on the Autism Spectrum share an interest in wanting friendship and often the barriers or boundaries can often not always be clear.
For persons not on the Autism Spectrum wanting a friend does not always fit into the pattern of so called 'normal' behaviour. It is odd that a person wants a friend and why is the intensity too high or too much? I would like to state clearly that as an Aspie I tend to try too hard in developing friendships and if a connection is made with one person then controlling intensity has to become manageable. Unfortunately persons not always aware of how a person with Asperger Syndrome may simply misconstrue the need for friendship. This person is too needy or perhaps they are homosexual and the list goes on. Throughout my travels in life and meeting persons on the Autism Spectrum I have heard very sad stories. I have heard of bullying, teasing, exploitation and even more seriously the rare incidents of rape and abuse. Society simply needs to understand better.
I have made some new friends with persons on the Autism Spectrum. The defining of boundaries is much clearer and shared experiences and similarities tend to take the strain off worrying about the level of friendship and the issues associated with rejection and exclusion etc. As an Aspie just wanting a friend can be an important thing. Simply shared experiences and a connection make the world a better place in safeguarding against loneliness, mental health and social isolation. I have heard of a story of a young man exhibiting the traits of Autism being exploitated and sadly used by his peers who ask him for money and expect him to drive him to nightclubs as a means of travel. Sadly such behaviour can be a reality and is clearly unacceptable.
Aspergers@UQ is now growing and more importantly friendships are being forged and created. In my involvement with adults on the Autism Spectrum overseas I come into adults on the Autism Spectrum without friendship and who experience social isolation. Just having friendship for them is important. I am in contact with an Aspie overseas and we have become very close friends in only 3 weeks. Both he and I chat a lot and I hear of his own struggles and some of the sad stories that he describes in his journal. Also his reaction to a medication that caused him severe social anxiety and withdrawal from society. I even experienced this myself.
As Aspie often really values a friendship and this may not always be understood by the non Autistic population but careful attention to detail and a careful explanation of personal boundaries can make life better. I have had friends discontinue friendship with me due to issues of intensity because I have to work so hard to make friends and relate to them. Just simple undertanding can make life better and the world a more understanding place. Ask yourself what does friendship mean to you?
For persons not on the Autism Spectrum wanting a friend does not always fit into the pattern of so called 'normal' behaviour. It is odd that a person wants a friend and why is the intensity too high or too much? I would like to state clearly that as an Aspie I tend to try too hard in developing friendships and if a connection is made with one person then controlling intensity has to become manageable. Unfortunately persons not always aware of how a person with Asperger Syndrome may simply misconstrue the need for friendship. This person is too needy or perhaps they are homosexual and the list goes on. Throughout my travels in life and meeting persons on the Autism Spectrum I have heard very sad stories. I have heard of bullying, teasing, exploitation and even more seriously the rare incidents of rape and abuse. Society simply needs to understand better.
I have made some new friends with persons on the Autism Spectrum. The defining of boundaries is much clearer and shared experiences and similarities tend to take the strain off worrying about the level of friendship and the issues associated with rejection and exclusion etc. As an Aspie just wanting a friend can be an important thing. Simply shared experiences and a connection make the world a better place in safeguarding against loneliness, mental health and social isolation. I have heard of a story of a young man exhibiting the traits of Autism being exploitated and sadly used by his peers who ask him for money and expect him to drive him to nightclubs as a means of travel. Sadly such behaviour can be a reality and is clearly unacceptable.
Aspergers@UQ is now growing and more importantly friendships are being forged and created. In my involvement with adults on the Autism Spectrum overseas I come into adults on the Autism Spectrum without friendship and who experience social isolation. Just having friendship for them is important. I am in contact with an Aspie overseas and we have become very close friends in only 3 weeks. Both he and I chat a lot and I hear of his own struggles and some of the sad stories that he describes in his journal. Also his reaction to a medication that caused him severe social anxiety and withdrawal from society. I even experienced this myself.
As Aspie often really values a friendship and this may not always be understood by the non Autistic population but careful attention to detail and a careful explanation of personal boundaries can make life better. I have had friends discontinue friendship with me due to issues of intensity because I have to work so hard to make friends and relate to them. Just simple undertanding can make life better and the world a more understanding place. Ask yourself what does friendship mean to you?
