It can be difficult at times when people think I am being rude when really I am just speaking my mind and being honest. As an Aspie I find that sometimes or often I may offend people and don't know why or how I have done so. Just by being blunt and saying what I mean can be misconstrued as rude for simply lacking understanding.
It is hard being an Aspie in a neuro typical body because it is harder for people to see and understand the difficulties I have. If I try and explain them if given the opportunity, people still don't seem to understand why I think and act the way I do. Often family members can be the biggest critics because they have lived with an Aspie all of their lives and just find it hard to accept and understand that the person on the Autism Spectrum is different and thinks and acts differently.
One of the biggest challenges I have is wanting an independent life but unfortunately my income is not high enough which makes this difficult. As I get older, just simply finding what NT's (neuro typicals) call a lighter side is difficult. My parents whom I still live with insist on me being like a neuro typical but they don't understand that this is not easy for me. I am quite content and happy with some aspects of my life but what I find most frustrating is other people not really accepting it. Why do I need to change? Why can't I just be myself?
My parents are concerned about my future. What will happen to me after they have passed on? Where will I be living and will I get lonely? This is not just me alone but other persons with a disability and on the Autism Spectrum. It can often be a very worrying concept as to what happens to a person after the parents are no longer around.
I find I am talking to myself more than what I used to as I try and figure out the world around me. I find it increasingly harder to adapt to the world around me and people telling me I should try harder and be more positive. It is hard to do on your own and life is so difficult at times. I don't find things easy and I had to work hard to get to where I am today. People say to me that all I talk about is Autism. I live with Autism 24/7 and I can't escape it because I live with it. I can try and socialise with people but I find myself on the outer with them even if I don't talk about Asperger Syndrome. I know of other charities but the difficulty is that unless you are directly affected by a disability or disorder then you can put it out of mind and sight. For me I find this difficult to do because the conventional world is just so frustrating at times. My parents worry that I do not see the difficulties which I confront but I know I have to be strong. I know one day that death will fall all of us and at times I think it an escape. The world is just so confusing at times and people really frustrate me. I would never contemplate suicide but society has to start listening to the Autism Spectrum because it is never going to go away. I am not being rude I just need people to listen and try and understand however hard that may be!
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