Relating to other people the challenges and difficulties

Living with Autism can often be both challenging and rewarding. However, it can be difficult at times for other people to exactly understand how it effects you. One of the areas I have struggled the most with is making friends. People often find that I am too intense or that I seem to intentionally want to be different from them. Both of the above mentioned can be serious areas of difficulty.

I find relationships too difficult. I constantly feel confused by the barriers which distinguish a relationship from a platonic friendship. It seems to me that there is a process involved that I am either unable to acquire or that I find perhaps too overwhelming. Trying to look or feel it a reality just seems impossible.

I cannot understand why people cannot relate to me. I don't see myself as a bad person and I do have my standards. I guess it is mainly due to the fact that I have an impairment in my social skills and means of communicating. Put simply what the non Autistic population take for granted I seem to struggle with. Of course this effects me in terms of forming friendships and entering a relationship. There just seems to be a myriad of non verbal messages and visual queues that I seem unable to read and process.

When exposed to the non Autistic World I often feel like I am entering a war zone at times. There are hidden mines that exist but I have to be careful not to walk over them. If I do I may upset someone or do something that may cause me strife. For instance, I find hierarchy maddening. Recently I worked on a public holiday. I submitted the necessary over time claim form but being anxious about when this form would be lodged and processed, I found myself frustrated as the form did not seem to be in the payroll department concerned after contacting them. I think why does this procedure and why can't it be lodged as with leave applications which can be done electronically? There is no choice but to just put up with an archaic bureaucratic system.

I am speaking as a man with Asperger Syndrome from my own experience here. I find the biggest stumbling block I have is finding an NT woman who will give me the time to be understood and accepted by her. This seems almost impossible and I find myself slowly retreating into the reality of being solitary. There seems to be less pressures in this sense as I don't have to deal with the emotional roller coaster.

I am tired also of people who are envious of me. If you read my blog posts and especially my books, you would begin to understand the struggles I endured in my own life. Rather than judge before you understand, why don't you read what I have to say? Why don't you also see the movie "Adam" as you may be able to relate to this? I hope things will soon change but for now it is just a matter of getting the message out there!