As an adult with Asperger Syndrome I think and act differently to other people. I do not do this intentionally but more so it is just the way my brain is wired. Often it can be both difficult and challenging in the regular world for people to come to terms with and relate to you if you may think outside the box. Often I find myself repeating some information over and over again. Often the use of mental energy and its implementation in conversation can be both draining and taxing.
What needs to be emphasized is that Asperger Syndrome effects a person differently. Some adults on the Autism Spectrum may choose to live an independent lifestyle and they may not wish to fit into the mainstream expectations from society. Some adults including myself may find relationships very difficult and may feel we are not able to handle them. Society therefore has to stop prying into my life or another persons life and try to ascertain why a person may not be in a relationship or which way they are sexually. There are some adults on the Autism Spectrum who are homosexual and there are some who choose to live a life of celibacy and there are some who do enter relationships and get married. I really get tired of people who question the person so much that the person on the Autism Spectrum may feel it necessary to be on the defensive. Until attitudes change, things will continue to be difficult for a person on the Autism Spectrum.
I live my life to the best of my ability and I feel I am not accountable to anyone as to who I am and why I am the way I am. If I chose to live life the way I do, I really do not appreciate people who are noisy and inquisitive. Just because I was never married nor have children does not mean I am an odd ball. It is my life and I live it the way I chose. I am probably more Autistic in that I tend to keep in my own company and often do not like to be around people or hassled by them. I also have had experiences of being 'hit on' by Asperger women and this has violated all of my boundaries as I cannot cope with this stress and it is my choice should I not want to contact them. Just because they may want a relationship does not mean that I do nor another adult. I get tired of people who continually pry in another person's business as they really need to mind their own business.
I do spend large amounts of time on my own and I have always been like this. I really don't have the mental energy to be around a person for long periods. If they are a friend that I can relate to, I can relate to them for certain periods and then I need my space. If a person does not respect my boundaries then I find myself overloaded and unable to handle this person so I have no choice but to rely on my own personal space.
When I talk to a person my communication relies on large amounts of mental energy in order to carry out a conversation with them. As you would be aware that such usage of mental energy creates the need for me to have downtime afterward. I know of some other Aspies who also rely on space after the usage of mental energy within a conversation. I find also that I tend to have looping thoughts and thinking patterns which may be difficult for some to understand but again I can only communicate the best way I can. A looping thought is when a person on the Autism Spectrum may talk about their special interest and then refer back to it within the conversation. Another characteristic of the Aspie thought process is that often I can repeat myself over and over or change the topic of a conversation without knowing that it may be inappropriate at the time. It would be good to see a world that is neither Aspie or NT but one that comes half way to allow both to work together. Perhaps this will become a reality one day? I feel comfortable being weird and eccentric as this is the way I am and I feel I should not have to conform to tribalism and be like other people just for the sake of fitting in as I do not believe this is fair on me or others on the Autism Spectrum.
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