I see the world around me as often confusing. Why do people act the way they do? Why do people not always mean what they say? Why do I at times find myself also very emotional? Thomas Alva Edison said it best when he described genius as 1% inspiration and 99% pirspiration. My life has always been like this. To fit into the so called conventions I have had to use vast amounts of mental energy which more than often has lead to 1% success and 99% failure. I have come to the realisation in life that failure is not always on my part. It is just that my mind thinks and acts differently to others around me. Whereas the majority of persons not on the Autism Spectrum seem to be able to navigate the socialisation process and the conditioning process of school, I always found myself on the outer.
Thinking and acting differently to me do have their consequences. People just don't always get it and it becomes difficult when you confront people unaware of how I think and feel, often feeling powerless how to act, help or understand. I just see myself as Aspie. It concerns me deeply that the American Board of Psychiatrists want to do away with Asperger Syndrome altogether as a diagnosis. I no longer will have a means of explaining myself. It is not so much the fact that Asperger Syndrome exists as a label, it is that without the name how can I explain myself when people just fail to understand how I think and act differently to them?
It took me many years to accept I was an Aspie. I tried often with a lot of effort to try and fit in with others around me but I just found myself on the outer. I felt like I was more an observer than a participant in group conversations. I found myself increasingly feeling isolated in such settings and found myself unable to connect with them. Sunday night is always the hardest night I find. A week of my life has gone by and I look ahead to the week and I ask myself "What is it that I can change about myself this week and will things change in the world around me?". I also analyse my situation and see myself as getting a week older at the start of every new week.
I function better in solitude than I do around people. When I feel sad or lonely which I am able to minimise, I reassure myself through 'self talk' and talking to myself that things will be ok. I sometimes find certain foods irritate me as well. I wake up some times with a feeling of discomfort as I seem unable to digest food properly that I have eaten. I also need to function on good sleep. When I have been in shared accommodation I just find the activity of thers irritates me. A dripping tap, a television being on even turn down just affects my sensitive hearing and movement just keeps me on edge. So I prefer to be on my own and enjoy solitude and change into my work mode when I have to go to work. I am always aware of sensory issues and try hard to shut them out.
I have some good news in that I have recently connected with some more Aspies. I talk to one regularly on skype. I don't care what others around me think or perhaps may misconstrue but the biggest asset in life is to have a friend. I think most if not all non Autistic people skim around this in the pursuit of finding happiness in other ways. For me however, just talking to other Aspies who think and act like me makes me feel less lonely and the world less so daunting.
I ask you how can you accept a person who has a different way of living and thinking? Just take the time to listen where you can and try to reach out also. Aspies communicate differently which can often wrongly be misconstrued as having no interest in wanting to interact. We need to accommodate people in this world who want to fit in and be understood but also be entitled to who they really are as people. So I ask you please to try and understand persons on the Autism Spectrum and don't judge us too quickly before you get to know us. Act of kindness make the world a better place.
Thinking and acting differently to me do have their consequences. People just don't always get it and it becomes difficult when you confront people unaware of how I think and feel, often feeling powerless how to act, help or understand. I just see myself as Aspie. It concerns me deeply that the American Board of Psychiatrists want to do away with Asperger Syndrome altogether as a diagnosis. I no longer will have a means of explaining myself. It is not so much the fact that Asperger Syndrome exists as a label, it is that without the name how can I explain myself when people just fail to understand how I think and act differently to them?
It took me many years to accept I was an Aspie. I tried often with a lot of effort to try and fit in with others around me but I just found myself on the outer. I felt like I was more an observer than a participant in group conversations. I found myself increasingly feeling isolated in such settings and found myself unable to connect with them. Sunday night is always the hardest night I find. A week of my life has gone by and I look ahead to the week and I ask myself "What is it that I can change about myself this week and will things change in the world around me?". I also analyse my situation and see myself as getting a week older at the start of every new week.
I function better in solitude than I do around people. When I feel sad or lonely which I am able to minimise, I reassure myself through 'self talk' and talking to myself that things will be ok. I sometimes find certain foods irritate me as well. I wake up some times with a feeling of discomfort as I seem unable to digest food properly that I have eaten. I also need to function on good sleep. When I have been in shared accommodation I just find the activity of thers irritates me. A dripping tap, a television being on even turn down just affects my sensitive hearing and movement just keeps me on edge. So I prefer to be on my own and enjoy solitude and change into my work mode when I have to go to work. I am always aware of sensory issues and try hard to shut them out.
I have some good news in that I have recently connected with some more Aspies. I talk to one regularly on skype. I don't care what others around me think or perhaps may misconstrue but the biggest asset in life is to have a friend. I think most if not all non Autistic people skim around this in the pursuit of finding happiness in other ways. For me however, just talking to other Aspies who think and act like me makes me feel less lonely and the world less so daunting.
I ask you how can you accept a person who has a different way of living and thinking? Just take the time to listen where you can and try to reach out also. Aspies communicate differently which can often wrongly be misconstrued as having no interest in wanting to interact. We need to accommodate people in this world who want to fit in and be understood but also be entitled to who they really are as people. So I ask you please to try and understand persons on the Autism Spectrum and don't judge us too quickly before you get to know us. Act of kindness make the world a better place.
