Trying to connect with people

As an Aspie I find the social world confusing and sometimes even depressing. You can use the motto that I have to try harder and think more positively but really does it get you anywhere? It seems that non Autistic people communicate and interact in different ways than my own. I have tried all different types of groups and activities both in the past and a little in the present to no avail. No matter whether you join a church group, a sporting club or even a chess club that it involves social skills.

I find myself even if I am brave enough to be social which uses spare energy reserves just on the outer in social situations. I find myself just as an observer but not a participant within conversation and I think what really is the point? I could be at home reading about the history of Gibraltar or why monkeys eat bananas or some other intellectually curious topic. I just find most if not all non Autistic communication and small talk just a total waste of energy and time.

As an Aspie I feel I am disadvantaged by limited or poor social networks. I find that the only way to improve my networking skills is to use Facebook. Here I don't need to meet people face to face nor deal with anxiety of being on time or driving a car to get there and where to find parking. Also not being anxious about whether I will be hit with a parking fine etc. Parking signs are very confusing as well as mind blindness when dealing with social situations. I also find friendship and interaction on other people's terms so what really is the point of trying to keep up or make friends anyway? Just being on my own greatly alleviates social anxiety!

I wonder why things that work are also changed. For instance the University of Queensland Electronic Self Service which seemed to be working fine to me to check pay details and leave entitlements etc. What is supposed to be better is actually worse.

At times or mostly I just talk to myself as people are never really there nor reliable when you need them. I am constantly confused by people who don't say what they mean or who have underlying motives which they are not willing to disclose. It is hard to trust people also and to be understood by them. People just don't get it and is it worth all the mental energy and explanation to keep trying to explain? Most Aspies also live with their parents and some in sub standard accommodation because of greedy landlords and other properties owners only after money but not a person's well being.