The self talk phase

If you mention to someone that your talk to yourself they would no doubt think you are crazy. For me, I have done this my whole life as a coping measure. When nobody can understand me and I have nobody to talk to, I often rely on myself for conversation.

Often the world can be a lonely place when you do not always think and act like other people around you. Your thoughts may become confused or more importantly people just do not understand the way you think and feel about things. Since meeting other adults on the Autism Spectrum, they have also informed me that they talk to themselves also. Is it something in our brains that we do? Why are our brains different in the way we process information and relate to others?

As an Aspie, I don't so much get depressed by the way I think but more so by the way people do not always understand things and the way I see the world. I often become confused by people who do not always mean what they say or respond to a comment which I make. Furthermore, meeting the expectations of others can in itself also become overwhelming. In the conventional world I am not really successful or am good at something. No matter what I try, I just never to seem to make it when this involves other people and hierarchy. Writing a manuscript, or striving towards a career path is in itself just about impossible.

Self talk therefore is my way of shutting out the world around me when everything becomes too much. When I am on my own, I do not need to answer people's constant questions about who I am and why I think the way I do. I also become less confused by some people who I just cannot understand. From what I can see is that Aspies are really like cats in that we keep to ourselves and socialise differently. We are not really interested in meeting social expectations and more importantly most of us are not really interested in fame or glory. We just want to be understood and for people to stop making life difficult for us. I cannot understand why some many Aspies experience bullying and I think it is criminal that such behaviour exists. We do not ask for it and we dislike other people making our lives miserable. We therefore need to rely on positive self talk to get us through our difficulties.