Why sleeping is sometimes useless

It is 1am in the morning and I am unable to sleep. Sometimes I get these waves of insomnia and there is nothing I really can do. Medication doesn't always work and trying to sleep is an impossible task. It is like my mind is unable to shut down. I try to write things down to clear and get them out of my mind but this in itself does not always work! I have just been overseas and now I return to the crashing reality of trying to fill in the void of an empty social life. Just going out and trying to find a social life is in itself a difficult task. I wish at times that I could find a support worker or someone who could assist me to be able to make small talk and to relate to people but having tried this in the past my efforts have proved fruitless. I don't know what it is with the Aspie brain and why it is wired so differently to other people. Lying awake and not sleeping at all seems to be something that I have to endure as medication is not always able to solve the problem. Why is everything always a struggle? I like other adults don't seem to be able to be good at a career path and a lot of my abilities and strengths are simply overlooked and I am misunderstood as a person. Luckily I am able to obtain counseling which is helping somewhat but still enduring social isolation is difficult. My mind is always trapped in routine and trying to escape it is a real challenge. It is always back to the drawing board of trying to connect with the community to overcome social isolation but this in itself just always seems frustrating. My notes at 12am include 1. Join the gym 2. Try to join a social group and find advice and suggestions to relate to other people 3. Have something to look forward too 4. Don't do too much advocacy to burn yourself out 5. If someone you know has entered a relationship feel happy for them rather than feeling sorry for yourself 6. Being single is not in itself a burden as there are benefits 7. Don't try and look for a relationship but rather live your life and either you will or you wont meet someone 8. Talk about concerns to the counselor as they hopefully will understand whereas people in the neurotypical people wont or will struggle too. Being back to normal is always a hard adjustment but I have to keep trying the best I can despite some critics who keep telling me that I whinge a lot. Maybe they should be in the shoes of someone the disorder and realise just how hard it is rather than just making judgements and assumptions. A person with Asperger Syndrome does not choose to be born with this condition and they cannot always help the way they think and feel. Sometimes some advice and guidance goes a long way to be able to help in the situation!