When things don't work out

I was informed this afternoon that undertaking a Masters/Phd Thesis was going to be a real struggle and I have come to terms with this. My thesis topic was "The Difficulties in navigating the social world for an adult with Asperger Syndrome both socially and economically and the ways society can better understand these difficulties". To be honest, I am pioneering as an adult with AS and I am finding this difficult and the other adults behind me the same. What I wanted to research was the early socialisation process of children before they become adults and how the education system seems to not be conducive to adults. The main problem being that as children, Aspies don't pick up the socialization process which affects them later in adulthood. Furthermore, adults with AS are disadvantaged later in life. From my own personal experiences I have a learning disability because I find it hard to process information at times and to be able to read and comprehend information. Success is not about what job I have or whether I have a Doctor to my name or whether I am some high profile person but more importantly my own struggles and personal success. Despite my appearance, I have suffered a lot over the years but I have been fortunate to have traveled. I don't regard myself as intelligent but more so capable. I have a lot of strength and this has helped get me through but as I get older in life, having to battle gets harder and I need help. This is why I have turned to Minds and Hearts. I have also informed Queensland Health that AS is a life long condition and counseling needs to be ongoing! Aspies are people who get by as best they can in life and seldom we are really understood. The measurement of success is not always something that marks a person's standing in life and it is a perception of NT's that this is so. I have had critics in my life and people that don't understand me for who and what I am but frankly I don't care anymore. I just accept life is tough and that's that. I know a lot of other adults are the same and often Aspies survive as best they can for we know that if we aim for things they will never really befall us. I am going to look at purchasing an Autism Awareness Card because I get sick of saying "I need help as I have a disability" when I am in a shopping centre and get stressed, anxious and overwhelmed in a shopping centre. I get tired of people staring at me and thinking I am cracking a joke in their minds when I say I have a disability and I need help. The Autism Card seems the only solution and some people may help and others not but at least I can do is try. Many Aspies will be unable to find perhaps paid work and why doesn't society listen and be concerned? People's lives are affected by having no support and understanding. Asperger Syndrome in adults is a reality and people need to take notice because adults with AS have intelligence but not the same as NT's. We may not succeed in employment, nor in universities or in schools but this does not make us intellectually inferior. IQ tests are to me a heap of crap because a person's intelligence cannot be measured in a timed experiment. Do you ever think of the people who were deemed stupid that actually succeeded in life given the opportunity? Albert Einstein was a write off at school and look to where he got. Dr Tony Attwood has to stop saying that people with AS are geniuses for some of us struggle and we struggle hard and placing expectations on us does not help us. Some Aspies just want a job and understanding and this is not always possible for people don't understand. Children with Asperger Syndrome become adults with Asperger Syndrome and speaking from personal experiences and without a university doctorate or masters or whatever, I can speak my mind and experiences which are the truth. What exactly is success and intelligence for I am beginning to wonder myself. Perhaps my intelligence is not within an NT definition and that of other Aspies.