One of the things that is frustrating for any person is when they try and communicate as best they can around them and yet they sometimes feel like they are a sinking ship with no means of rescue. This is how I feel most of the time. I constantly feel held back by people who just don't seem to get it. No matter how hard you try it just often seem so overwhelming.
I think Aspies just struggle to fit into the conventions of the non Aspie world. I personally feel at times that society's mechanisms just seem to create more burden. I cannot understand why non Autistic persons seem to be largely self conscious and seem to spend vast amounts of time being concerned about self image and ego. Again I may be generalising but I just speak my mind. People fill their houses with furniture, drive fancy cars, have big houses and just seem to forever chase dreams that largely seem unrealistic. When it comes to the basic human needs of wanting friendships and being happy, time seems to be better spent on finding other ways in the pursuit of happiness.
I feel I am often wrongly judged as a person. I am not out for self glory or for image. but more so to try and raise more levels of awareness and understanding where I can. Just because I am not good or interested in what I term "Thug Ball" does not mean that I have something wrong with me. I just find Rugby League boring. It may be for some people but not for me. I found it ironic when watching the Royal Wedding that the television station decided when enough was enough to revert to a Rugby League game. I am only interested in the history of the Royal family and decided to watch some of it. I personally found the trees in Westminster out of place and I would have preferred the traditional sound of an organ compared to an orchestra. A cathedral is for an organ not for an orchestra on certain historic occasions.
When watching the royal wedding, I thought to myself please I hope Charles does not become the next King. I know that by succession he will but please Queen Elizabeth continue to reign and I hope your Diamond Jubilee next year will be a great one. No matter how much some people may detest the monarchy the truth is that it has a proven record. It has lasted longer than any other form of government.
Personally when you look at the wedding you see how the Americans foam at the mouth that they do not have a monarch. The commonwealth still recognises the monarch but how many republics are themselves able to stand the test of time?
I process information differently to other people and some people are open minded and understand Autism. Others just think I am obsessed or think there are other disorders that of course are also important. What I would like to leave with you is the thought of how would you feel if you lived in a world where people did not understand you and your ways of communication? How would you react and respond? Also are people aware of their actions?
As an Aspie I am not concerned by status, public perception and whether or not I am better than other people. I just wish some people would open their minds more to diversity.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Ok I just don't get it
Ok I must confess that I find Facebook confusing. If indeed it was designed by a person on the Autism Spectrum then some of its features are not what I term "Aspie Friendly". As most Aspies find it hard to fit into the regular world then why does a relationship status and an interested in feature exist? Why also is there a use of the term friend which may apply to people who are not really friends but more so connections. The average Facebook page consists of friends and so called "People who I may know". I am not sure if this feature is designed as some kind of random networking feature or not? If you browse the so called feature "people you may know" and send friend requests you find Facebook blocks you and then complains that you have caused a serious breach by sending too many Facebook requests.
What I am trying to say is that the relationship status and the interested in features are just a waste of time as far as I am concerned. If you choose to select or alter this feature then wrongful perceptions may be perceived. I am sick and tired of society's attitudes towards people relationship status. People seem to have this so called starry notion of perfect romance or that marriage is the final acceptance and reflection of a person. If you are not in a relationship you are to be avoided at all cost. I call myself the hunch back of NT land at times. I have found that not adding the above mentioned annoying features does somewhat alleviate the social pressures but some one dimensional ways of thinking need to change. Why can't there be a feature on Facebook called unconventional so that the removal of the word 'single' can be removed? Just some thoughts.
What I am trying to say is that the relationship status and the interested in features are just a waste of time as far as I am concerned. If you choose to select or alter this feature then wrongful perceptions may be perceived. I am sick and tired of society's attitudes towards people relationship status. People seem to have this so called starry notion of perfect romance or that marriage is the final acceptance and reflection of a person. If you are not in a relationship you are to be avoided at all cost. I call myself the hunch back of NT land at times. I have found that not adding the above mentioned annoying features does somewhat alleviate the social pressures but some one dimensional ways of thinking need to change. Why can't there be a feature on Facebook called unconventional so that the removal of the word 'single' can be removed? Just some thoughts.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Expanding my knowledge and credentials
Currently I am looking at ways of going beyond my current graduate degree in Bachelor of Arts into further research more so than study. I am not really keen on undergraduate units but more so on postgraduate units. I believe that with my own Autism advocacy that I should be able to either enter Masters and eventually PhD level. I am not sure exactly how to go about this as conventional methods and hierarchy tend to make this virtually impossible.
In terms of further study I would need support and people to assist me in understanding the referencing requirements for further study. Such procedures are in themselves challenging and not being given sufficient time to demonstrate my skills and abilities just makes it harder.
I will be talking with Professor Tony Attwood in July of this year. I am going to find out from Tony what I need to do to better equip myself. Sometimes people are asking me to diagnosis them with Autism and I am not able to do this. I can only refer them onto someone better qualified than myself. I really don't want to diagnose people but more so assist with research and in raising awareness. I find UQ Psychology virtually impossible and I am trying again to see if there are some avenues I could pursue to help me obtain support in undertaking post graduate subjects.
In the meantime, I am going to continue writing and furthermore doing some reading in the areas of schooling and the Autism Spectrum.
Please check out my website for a sample of my writing and interest into the schooling system.
In terms of further study I would need support and people to assist me in understanding the referencing requirements for further study. Such procedures are in themselves challenging and not being given sufficient time to demonstrate my skills and abilities just makes it harder.
I will be talking with Professor Tony Attwood in July of this year. I am going to find out from Tony what I need to do to better equip myself. Sometimes people are asking me to diagnosis them with Autism and I am not able to do this. I can only refer them onto someone better qualified than myself. I really don't want to diagnose people but more so assist with research and in raising awareness. I find UQ Psychology virtually impossible and I am trying again to see if there are some avenues I could pursue to help me obtain support in undertaking post graduate subjects.
In the meantime, I am going to continue writing and furthermore doing some reading in the areas of schooling and the Autism Spectrum.
Please check out my website for a sample of my writing and interest into the schooling system.
Sleeping patterns
Of late I have found myself waking up at 3.30am in the morning and not being able to get back to sleep. Rather than obsess about whether I need more sleep, I usually start the day early. I usually find that I only need about 6 hours of sleep and I seem to be able to function normally. When I mean 'normally' I mean my usual patterns without suffering from sleep deprivation.
Sometimes if I endure limited sleep as long as I get dream which means I have slept deeply, I can usually get by with under 3 hours sleep etc. The cycle just varies from time to time. When I was younger I slept very little and perhaps this was why I would find myself not being able to function effectively during the day. The difficulties with conventional life means that certain flexibility is not possible during the regular working day. If for instance, my concentration cannot last for too long, it means that my performance in several daily duties may be impaired but I believe my brain is adaptable so I can just get through the day anyhow.
The power of the mind is largely untapped. The complexity of the Aspie brain is largely unknown. I think Aspies can have different ways and sleeping patterns to other people and yet we can get by. Research really needs to untap the use and functioning of the Aspie brain. I think Aspies use more than 10% of our brains which can largely be seen in savants. If a person was able to use all of the brain power then perhaps people may be able to excel in all areas. It is interesting that the brain continually adapts. How can a person draw a whole city from less than a 15 minute glance? Surely the mind of the savant is something that allows us to think and begin to understand the complexity of our brain even more? Please watch the video link with this post.
Sometimes if I endure limited sleep as long as I get dream which means I have slept deeply, I can usually get by with under 3 hours sleep etc. The cycle just varies from time to time. When I was younger I slept very little and perhaps this was why I would find myself not being able to function effectively during the day. The difficulties with conventional life means that certain flexibility is not possible during the regular working day. If for instance, my concentration cannot last for too long, it means that my performance in several daily duties may be impaired but I believe my brain is adaptable so I can just get through the day anyhow.
The power of the mind is largely untapped. The complexity of the Aspie brain is largely unknown. I think Aspies can have different ways and sleeping patterns to other people and yet we can get by. Research really needs to untap the use and functioning of the Aspie brain. I think Aspies use more than 10% of our brains which can largely be seen in savants. If a person was able to use all of the brain power then perhaps people may be able to excel in all areas. It is interesting that the brain continually adapts. How can a person draw a whole city from less than a 15 minute glance? Surely the mind of the savant is something that allows us to think and begin to understand the complexity of our brain even more? Please watch the video link with this post.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Gillard and Abbott please do not hurt people with Autism more!
This morning I attended the Autism Queensland Function at Parliament House, Brisbane where I was nominated and received an award as an adult on the Autism Spectrum. In my speech of which there was no politician in sight, I spoke to the well attended audience about my self funded advocacy work and the need to keep 'the torch burning' and 'I have a Dream' to ensure awareness of Autism continues. I spoke of the need for more tolerance from within the wider community and awareness to break down the barriers of ignorance.
It saddens me that as an Australian citizen that Australian politicians seem reluctant to come on board and attend functions. If I am to be slugged like other Australians for tax and more importantly have my updates personally removed by an Independent Australian Politician concerning Autism, then all I can say is that the Australian parliamentary system is a total farce. It really drives pain through the very adult community when children and future adults are not receiving the necessary support they require to assist them in their transition into employment. It is also not good enough that Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard wants to reform the welfare system and seriously cripple the lives of adults on the Autism Spectrum who are the most vulnerable. If the leader of the opposition, Tony Abbott wants to help people who really want a better quality of life then he should personally reconsider what I term unfair treatment of adults with Autism in the community. I try to stay as apolitical as possible but I think the Australian government that exists at the moment is what I consider to be a monkey circus. There is no real clear mandate and I seriously question the so call independence of the independents we have in power now. Who is governing Australia and how are the people most affected by changes in welfare going to stand up to drastic and harsh changes? Surely the Australian Government needs to get serious about disability. Personally on the Federal Political scene I believe the best politicians who are most efficient are Bill Shorten, Malcolm Turnbull and John Alexander but he needs time to demonstrate his abilities. If I can think of any other politicians worthy of mention, I will include their names later. I am personally sick and tired of political mud slinging and would like to see strong government and effective leadership. I am not sure where Campbell Newman stands on Autism as I have not heard from him but I wonder if Bill Shorten should return to the disability portfolio as I heard good things about him. When I have contacted his office I am put in touch with some other disability minister and I find this person very unhelpful and not returning my calls or willing to help.
All I can say is Julia Gillard if you want to slug and reform welfare just think of the people you are making extremely anxious and more importantly please bare in mind their well being! It is about time that governments govern and stop mud slinging as this is why I do not vote for you. If I am forced to vote for you then please can you provide the decency of running the country and making Australia a better place?! Think seriously before you make changes to welfare also.
It saddens me that as an Australian citizen that Australian politicians seem reluctant to come on board and attend functions. If I am to be slugged like other Australians for tax and more importantly have my updates personally removed by an Independent Australian Politician concerning Autism, then all I can say is that the Australian parliamentary system is a total farce. It really drives pain through the very adult community when children and future adults are not receiving the necessary support they require to assist them in their transition into employment. It is also not good enough that Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard wants to reform the welfare system and seriously cripple the lives of adults on the Autism Spectrum who are the most vulnerable. If the leader of the opposition, Tony Abbott wants to help people who really want a better quality of life then he should personally reconsider what I term unfair treatment of adults with Autism in the community. I try to stay as apolitical as possible but I think the Australian government that exists at the moment is what I consider to be a monkey circus. There is no real clear mandate and I seriously question the so call independence of the independents we have in power now. Who is governing Australia and how are the people most affected by changes in welfare going to stand up to drastic and harsh changes? Surely the Australian Government needs to get serious about disability. Personally on the Federal Political scene I believe the best politicians who are most efficient are Bill Shorten, Malcolm Turnbull and John Alexander but he needs time to demonstrate his abilities. If I can think of any other politicians worthy of mention, I will include their names later. I am personally sick and tired of political mud slinging and would like to see strong government and effective leadership. I am not sure where Campbell Newman stands on Autism as I have not heard from him but I wonder if Bill Shorten should return to the disability portfolio as I heard good things about him. When I have contacted his office I am put in touch with some other disability minister and I find this person very unhelpful and not returning my calls or willing to help.
All I can say is Julia Gillard if you want to slug and reform welfare just think of the people you are making extremely anxious and more importantly please bare in mind their well being! It is about time that governments govern and stop mud slinging as this is why I do not vote for you. If I am forced to vote for you then please can you provide the decency of running the country and making Australia a better place?! Think seriously before you make changes to welfare also.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Avoiding the negative spiral
Sometimes I find myself putting myself down and being careful to not go down the negative spiral. I find with younger Aspies that I feel somewhat envious of them. They were diagnosed much younger than me and they are not as bruised as I have been growing up and being diagnosed at 25 years of age.
I feel at times like I am suffocating in the world as my ways of thinking and acting tend to find resistance from the wider community. I find younger Aspies are not always understanding of my own situation. I fear for younger Aspies in that they are not getting support and services which can assist them in their lives. Although I am close to 40, I think younger Aspies see me as old and archaic. They may not realise that I have been there before and when listening to the Varun Symons interview, I can relate to a lot of what both Autistic adults are talking about. For some reason some of the adults have dropped me as a friend and decide to not continue correspondence. I have to try hard and accept that this is their choice.
I feel at times that when there is so much resistance I think why does the larger framework of society have to be so rough? Why am I not given sufficient time to demonstrate my skills and abilities and furthermore why are not support and services being implemented?
I am currently listening to Arman's podcast where he interviews Varun Symons. I hope you find this podcast informative? I think there are a lot of good topics raised in this podcast.
I feel at times like I am suffocating in the world as my ways of thinking and acting tend to find resistance from the wider community. I find younger Aspies are not always understanding of my own situation. I fear for younger Aspies in that they are not getting support and services which can assist them in their lives. Although I am close to 40, I think younger Aspies see me as old and archaic. They may not realise that I have been there before and when listening to the Varun Symons interview, I can relate to a lot of what both Autistic adults are talking about. For some reason some of the adults have dropped me as a friend and decide to not continue correspondence. I have to try hard and accept that this is their choice.
I feel at times that when there is so much resistance I think why does the larger framework of society have to be so rough? Why am I not given sufficient time to demonstrate my skills and abilities and furthermore why are not support and services being implemented?
I am currently listening to Arman's podcast where he interviews Varun Symons. I hope you find this podcast informative? I think there are a lot of good topics raised in this podcast.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Book Review of my book
My book has had some very positive reviews. A recent sale received feedback that it was a great read and that my book is highly recommended to anyone interested. I am currently writing my third book with my second near completion. My first book "I Want To Work An Asperger Story" is now on sale. I have had to re-order some more books to keep stocks up. Should you be interested in purchasing a copy please visit my website and be sure to double click on the Title Post of this post.
Chosing to not live the life of a second rate neuro typical
I constantly find myself being forced to live in a world that does not understand me. I feel at times so frustrated that I can see why suicide rates are so high in persons on the Autism Spectrum. This is because the boundaries and the conventions are so inflexible. I find myself being forced to think and act like a neuro typical when my wiring is different. For instance I am not interested in fame and glory but more so in getting the message out there. I feel concerned that I may have written a book that will not be read by a wider audience and more importantly I am sadden that working in a university library that there has been little support in assisting me in getting this book out into the community. I am not interested in upsetting people's egos but more so trying instead to help other people.
As I get older I find the conventions more restrictive and I constantly find myself being forced to live in a neuro typical world when I struggle and find it hard to be able to do so. Sometimes the anxiety is so intense that I am at a loss to know what to do. I also have occasional thoughts about what is the purpose of living if people do not understand me? Why are people so resistant to understanding or taking the time to listen? I feel really frustrated with society in general.
I cannot understand why 'faceless' people pretend and ignore the many issues and serious concerns affecting the world. The issues of bullying, discrimination, depression, suicide and social isolation continue and yet not enough is being done to try and understand this. More importantly the lack of services for adults is just disgraceful.
I do not know how much longer I can survive the anxiety but everyday I try and do my best. People do not see or understand just exactly how Autism effects me and this is why I think some Aspies self inflict. People just don't get it and unable to verbalise frustrations so they self inflict so people will listen and understand. It is not a sensible measure of course but what else can you do when you are stressed and nobody is listening! I could shout profanities at the way this world makes it hard for people on the Autism Spectrum but this will not be a rational approach. I have written a book but I am not neuro typical. I do not know the channels that a neuro typical would know if they were in the same position? Perhaps they would be after fame, know the necessary channels in order to approach people and know better networking skills than I do. I spend large amounts of my time in social isolation because the neuro typical world largely stresses me out. People are confusing and I just find the hierarchical, bureaucratic, and other conventions just too overwhelming. Please try and understand that not all Aspies can live in the NT world and they may need some support and understanding.
As I get older I find the conventions more restrictive and I constantly find myself being forced to live in a neuro typical world when I struggle and find it hard to be able to do so. Sometimes the anxiety is so intense that I am at a loss to know what to do. I also have occasional thoughts about what is the purpose of living if people do not understand me? Why are people so resistant to understanding or taking the time to listen? I feel really frustrated with society in general.
I cannot understand why 'faceless' people pretend and ignore the many issues and serious concerns affecting the world. The issues of bullying, discrimination, depression, suicide and social isolation continue and yet not enough is being done to try and understand this. More importantly the lack of services for adults is just disgraceful.
I do not know how much longer I can survive the anxiety but everyday I try and do my best. People do not see or understand just exactly how Autism effects me and this is why I think some Aspies self inflict. People just don't get it and unable to verbalise frustrations so they self inflict so people will listen and understand. It is not a sensible measure of course but what else can you do when you are stressed and nobody is listening! I could shout profanities at the way this world makes it hard for people on the Autism Spectrum but this will not be a rational approach. I have written a book but I am not neuro typical. I do not know the channels that a neuro typical would know if they were in the same position? Perhaps they would be after fame, know the necessary channels in order to approach people and know better networking skills than I do. I spend large amounts of my time in social isolation because the neuro typical world largely stresses me out. People are confusing and I just find the hierarchical, bureaucratic, and other conventions just too overwhelming. Please try and understand that not all Aspies can live in the NT world and they may need some support and understanding.
The mystery of God
I find myself over thinking and philosophizing about the world and knowing how God does exist. Every century brings forward some advancement from the previous one, and is humanity getting closer to solving the riddle?
History is an interesting subject and God was worshiped in many different forms. Both the Greeks and Romans had many Gods but centuries before it seems that even the Babylonians also believed in God. This leaves us with the important question are we closer to understanding God and the riddle of the universe? Man is making important and significant milestones in some areas but man is still held back by mortality. Man has only so many years on earth and then it is left to future generations to solve the riddle further. The riddle being why the universe was created, for what purpose and its future destiny?
I have often wondered how everything came into being by a simple explosion if indeed this was an explosion. Just think about it and I mean really think about it!? Did all of what we know originate from such an explosion and one has to imagine what caused the explosion, why and what is the explosion expanding into? Such questions are complex and it is beyond our own reasoning and intelligence to work out the answers to such questions. Now the Atheist argument is that the explosion was caused by an event that just happened? But why? If life exists in its present form to evolve to what it is today, then the question needs to be raised as to what purpose?
I think the problem people have who do not believe in God is that their perception has not factored in all possibilities or furthermore their reasoning does not further enquire to see that God is beyond our own reasoning and understanding. There are so many things in the universe that we are incapable of explaining. Furthermore, humanity struggles to come to terms with mortality. If indeed humanity is to reach stage 2 of intelligence will it be able to do so or will the human condition cause an inevitable catastrophe?
There are so many questions that remain unanswered. One of my future books will be "Understanding Autism and God". I will be working more on the title and eventually writing the manuscript. I intend to write about my own personal experiences and furthermore focus on my own connection and understanding of God. This book may never be published but I enjoy writing and have 90% completed my second draft. I will be having a friend who is Christian helping me with the book as he is studying Theology at present. Should anyone be interested I hope to have the book written and completed within the next 12 months. The book is not intended to convert people but focus on my own personal views about Christianity.
History is an interesting subject and God was worshiped in many different forms. Both the Greeks and Romans had many Gods but centuries before it seems that even the Babylonians also believed in God. This leaves us with the important question are we closer to understanding God and the riddle of the universe? Man is making important and significant milestones in some areas but man is still held back by mortality. Man has only so many years on earth and then it is left to future generations to solve the riddle further. The riddle being why the universe was created, for what purpose and its future destiny?
I have often wondered how everything came into being by a simple explosion if indeed this was an explosion. Just think about it and I mean really think about it!? Did all of what we know originate from such an explosion and one has to imagine what caused the explosion, why and what is the explosion expanding into? Such questions are complex and it is beyond our own reasoning and intelligence to work out the answers to such questions. Now the Atheist argument is that the explosion was caused by an event that just happened? But why? If life exists in its present form to evolve to what it is today, then the question needs to be raised as to what purpose?
I think the problem people have who do not believe in God is that their perception has not factored in all possibilities or furthermore their reasoning does not further enquire to see that God is beyond our own reasoning and understanding. There are so many things in the universe that we are incapable of explaining. Furthermore, humanity struggles to come to terms with mortality. If indeed humanity is to reach stage 2 of intelligence will it be able to do so or will the human condition cause an inevitable catastrophe?
There are so many questions that remain unanswered. One of my future books will be "Understanding Autism and God". I will be working more on the title and eventually writing the manuscript. I intend to write about my own personal experiences and furthermore focus on my own connection and understanding of God. This book may never be published but I enjoy writing and have 90% completed my second draft. I will be having a friend who is Christian helping me with the book as he is studying Theology at present. Should anyone be interested I hope to have the book written and completed within the next 12 months. The book is not intended to convert people but focus on my own personal views about Christianity.
Proud of my achievements
I give myself a pat on the back for all the crap I have had to endure in life. Furthermore, I praise myself for the strength and resilience I have in trying my best to overcome and endure more. I am also blunt in that I am sick and tired of people saying they are envious or that I have it easy. I would say to such people, try living with and enduring the misunderstanding and ignorance I have had to deal with over the last 38 years!
I love the fact I am eccentric and if other people have an issue with it then they can sod off. I don't give a crap what they think I am who I am and if you don't like or want to associate with me then that's your problem and not mine! I am grateful that I have my health and that I am fit. I am also fed up with people who whinge about what they don't have in their life or unhappy when they only need to look around them and see how lucky they are as people.
I am also fed up with people who think they are better than others and are so up themselves. Such people are shallow and have personal issues.
I am tired of the focus being on high profile people. Most of them and not all have screwed up their own lives and make a mess of them. Yet the mass media lap it up and say 'oh we need to give them another chance". Some of the high profile people in the sporting industry and again not all seem to be incapable of actually being responsible for their own lives and actions and yet such people are held up as role models. What a joke is all I can say!
Not enough light is cast on the forgotten people in this world. The silent majority who simply struggle on and do their best and are not in the lime light. Instead too much focus is placed on those whose contribution to society is bugger all.
I am proud of who I am as a person and I have the strength and determination to prove it. I believe in God also and I am tired of the way this society is just decaying with bad practices, immorality, selfishness and lack of standards. All I hope one day is that God punishes this earth for the way humanity has evolved. The focus on the me me me society is just simply destroying any sense of community or compassion for ourselves as humans. Nobody gives a stuff about anyone else and no matter what excuses or means of behaviour it is happening more and more.
All I can say is that I admire my own achievements and I fully commend the many things I do as I am me, I stand up for myself and I am not afraid of the continual bullying and discrimination I unfortunately have to endure. Enough is enough I will keep fighting to ensure that such behaviour is banished from this earth and I will do the best I can to ensure that the world is a better place!
Crown Him With Many Crowds and remember God in your life and how damn lucky you are as people.
I love the fact I am eccentric and if other people have an issue with it then they can sod off. I don't give a crap what they think I am who I am and if you don't like or want to associate with me then that's your problem and not mine! I am grateful that I have my health and that I am fit. I am also fed up with people who whinge about what they don't have in their life or unhappy when they only need to look around them and see how lucky they are as people.
I am also fed up with people who think they are better than others and are so up themselves. Such people are shallow and have personal issues.
I am tired of the focus being on high profile people. Most of them and not all have screwed up their own lives and make a mess of them. Yet the mass media lap it up and say 'oh we need to give them another chance". Some of the high profile people in the sporting industry and again not all seem to be incapable of actually being responsible for their own lives and actions and yet such people are held up as role models. What a joke is all I can say!
Not enough light is cast on the forgotten people in this world. The silent majority who simply struggle on and do their best and are not in the lime light. Instead too much focus is placed on those whose contribution to society is bugger all.
I am proud of who I am as a person and I have the strength and determination to prove it. I believe in God also and I am tired of the way this society is just decaying with bad practices, immorality, selfishness and lack of standards. All I hope one day is that God punishes this earth for the way humanity has evolved. The focus on the me me me society is just simply destroying any sense of community or compassion for ourselves as humans. Nobody gives a stuff about anyone else and no matter what excuses or means of behaviour it is happening more and more.
All I can say is that I admire my own achievements and I fully commend the many things I do as I am me, I stand up for myself and I am not afraid of the continual bullying and discrimination I unfortunately have to endure. Enough is enough I will keep fighting to ensure that such behaviour is banished from this earth and I will do the best I can to ensure that the world is a better place!
Crown Him With Many Crowds and remember God in your life and how damn lucky you are as people.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Spiritualism and the other dimension
Last night I was watching a program on the Shroud of Turin. The show was interesting as it discussed whether the shroud was either fake or the actual burial cloth which contained the body of Jesus Christ? I always keep an open mind and while watching the program more and more, the research into the shroud revealed that painting or drawing the image would be virtually impossible. What then is the Shroud of Turin and its purpose? Various theories tried to explain the image within the shroud and one of these was the possibility of mass energy somehow causing the image on the shroud. Possibly this according the documentary explaining the resurrection of Christ. Again one has to keep an open mind.
While I was watching the program on the History Channel, I thought more and more about the evidence that was being presented on the show. According to the experimentation on the shroud itself and the image contained on the shroud, the image had when experimented further another dimension to it. After more and more research and careful experimentation, the researchers were able to create the possible image of Christ. Again anyone would dismiss the show and what I am saying as just fantasy or that it is all make believe. We know very little about the world around and our eyes can only see the world from what I understand in a 2 or 3 dimensional stage. At the risk of sounding extreme, I have often wondered if another dimension does exist. Perhaps this dimension can be accessed upon death or perhaps by other means. There existed a group of Christians who were persecuted in around the 1300's or thereabouts for believing that another dimension existed and that we as humans are restricted to the limited dimensions that we see today. Perhaps there is another dimension that exists and we are unable to see it and again I am speaking from the documentary on the Shroud of Turin that the image which appears on the linen needs more investigation.
As I was flickering through the stations on the pay tv there was another show which I regretted I watched and which I found rather humourous. There was a group of Ghost Hunters in the USA and in the show they visited a gaol. Now surely if you were a ghost the last place you would haunt would be a gaol? Anyhow, this rather big built man decided to take in an image sensor and an some audio equipment with him into the gaol. As he went into the darkness, he started to supposedly rouse up the spirits by saying 'I want to know if there is anyone in here and what were the reasons were for your death?" In true American fashion and with the show being on late at night it was designed to send shivers up your spine. The ghost hunter claimed he was unable to breathe and when leaving the gaol he apparently got his breath back again. The next part of the exercise was to stir up what is believed in the spirit world to be called 'trapped spiritual energy". The belief is that if a traumatic event has happened in a location that energy is released on certain occasions. To cut the story short a group of dressed up convicts went into the gaol with the ghost hunters. The group consisted of prisoners in their stripes and prison guards. Suddenly the enacted the riots in the darkness and then stopped their actions. The idea was to record EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena)and also to look for spirits. Of course the animation and suspense was there and a so called human figure appeared in a cell and apparently was supposed to be colder than that around it. Also there was so called recording of EVP voices saying "Come and Get Me". Also ghostly orbs were supposed to be on the visual footage and I really wondered what I watched this show as I find it not really that helpful if you have an over active imagination. Anyhow the show was ridiculous in a way in how the American ghost hunters carried on and I changed the channel when the ghost hunter's next mission was to visit a so called haunted hospital with a 7 foot ghost within it.
Some years back I went with a group of friends to historic "Boggo Road Gaol" in Brisbane. I was nominated to be locked in a cell for 45 seconds and to see if I was spooked. All I can remember was the horrible feeling of being trapped in this confined area. I did not see a ghost at all but remember seeing all the writing on the wall so to speak.
I have always had an open mind about spiritualism and furthermore a belief in God. Agnostics tend to want evidence to prove that God actually exists and Atheists tend to want do disprove that God exists despite any argument put forward. It is interesting that when an Atheist tries to prove their point that they are always quick defend evidence that remains questionable to them. A true Christian I believe is one that is guided by God and learns to forgive. This is hard to do as some people tend to do the wrong thing but existing or following a higher way of thinking does tend to be a way that good Christians strive for. I am blunt in saying that some Christians can be hypocrites. They believe and demonstrate that they are God loving people and yet they can judge other people very harshly. We all have faults as humans and this is why I believe in trying to be a Christian myself was one of the reasons why Christ died on the cross. I find it hard to understand why some people turn their back on God. I also cannot understand why there is so much sleaze and lack of trust in this world. I have seen on television and in some forms of the media material that I personally believe has some demonic connotations. It also concerns me that Australia is no longer considered a Christian country. I do not believe that conversion is the way to change people and more so criticising them for not attending church. Instead the journey to God and goodness in the world needs to be done by enlightening people's thinking and providing them with clear and positive examples of where the work of God is evident. One has to always be careful and cautious when talking about religion as it may turn others away. They may choose not to believe and furthermore not want to have anything to do with you. Again you cannot change people's perceptions and their ways of thinking but you can try and do what you believe is right and lead them through paths of enlightenment.
This long weekend commemorates the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We need to try and understand this important occasion rather than the pagan traditions associated with the Rabbit and the Easter Egg which were the means of fertility after the first full moon. We need to try and reflect on this important occasion more so than be bound up in our own introspection and the things we feel are missing in our lives. I think the long weekend should be a time to reflect on the death and resurrection of Christ and why we ought to be grateful as human beings. God Bless you and your families over the Easter period.
While I was watching the program on the History Channel, I thought more and more about the evidence that was being presented on the show. According to the experimentation on the shroud itself and the image contained on the shroud, the image had when experimented further another dimension to it. After more and more research and careful experimentation, the researchers were able to create the possible image of Christ. Again anyone would dismiss the show and what I am saying as just fantasy or that it is all make believe. We know very little about the world around and our eyes can only see the world from what I understand in a 2 or 3 dimensional stage. At the risk of sounding extreme, I have often wondered if another dimension does exist. Perhaps this dimension can be accessed upon death or perhaps by other means. There existed a group of Christians who were persecuted in around the 1300's or thereabouts for believing that another dimension existed and that we as humans are restricted to the limited dimensions that we see today. Perhaps there is another dimension that exists and we are unable to see it and again I am speaking from the documentary on the Shroud of Turin that the image which appears on the linen needs more investigation.
As I was flickering through the stations on the pay tv there was another show which I regretted I watched and which I found rather humourous. There was a group of Ghost Hunters in the USA and in the show they visited a gaol. Now surely if you were a ghost the last place you would haunt would be a gaol? Anyhow, this rather big built man decided to take in an image sensor and an some audio equipment with him into the gaol. As he went into the darkness, he started to supposedly rouse up the spirits by saying 'I want to know if there is anyone in here and what were the reasons were for your death?" In true American fashion and with the show being on late at night it was designed to send shivers up your spine. The ghost hunter claimed he was unable to breathe and when leaving the gaol he apparently got his breath back again. The next part of the exercise was to stir up what is believed in the spirit world to be called 'trapped spiritual energy". The belief is that if a traumatic event has happened in a location that energy is released on certain occasions. To cut the story short a group of dressed up convicts went into the gaol with the ghost hunters. The group consisted of prisoners in their stripes and prison guards. Suddenly the enacted the riots in the darkness and then stopped their actions. The idea was to record EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena)and also to look for spirits. Of course the animation and suspense was there and a so called human figure appeared in a cell and apparently was supposed to be colder than that around it. Also there was so called recording of EVP voices saying "Come and Get Me". Also ghostly orbs were supposed to be on the visual footage and I really wondered what I watched this show as I find it not really that helpful if you have an over active imagination. Anyhow the show was ridiculous in a way in how the American ghost hunters carried on and I changed the channel when the ghost hunter's next mission was to visit a so called haunted hospital with a 7 foot ghost within it.
Some years back I went with a group of friends to historic "Boggo Road Gaol" in Brisbane. I was nominated to be locked in a cell for 45 seconds and to see if I was spooked. All I can remember was the horrible feeling of being trapped in this confined area. I did not see a ghost at all but remember seeing all the writing on the wall so to speak.
I have always had an open mind about spiritualism and furthermore a belief in God. Agnostics tend to want evidence to prove that God actually exists and Atheists tend to want do disprove that God exists despite any argument put forward. It is interesting that when an Atheist tries to prove their point that they are always quick defend evidence that remains questionable to them. A true Christian I believe is one that is guided by God and learns to forgive. This is hard to do as some people tend to do the wrong thing but existing or following a higher way of thinking does tend to be a way that good Christians strive for. I am blunt in saying that some Christians can be hypocrites. They believe and demonstrate that they are God loving people and yet they can judge other people very harshly. We all have faults as humans and this is why I believe in trying to be a Christian myself was one of the reasons why Christ died on the cross. I find it hard to understand why some people turn their back on God. I also cannot understand why there is so much sleaze and lack of trust in this world. I have seen on television and in some forms of the media material that I personally believe has some demonic connotations. It also concerns me that Australia is no longer considered a Christian country. I do not believe that conversion is the way to change people and more so criticising them for not attending church. Instead the journey to God and goodness in the world needs to be done by enlightening people's thinking and providing them with clear and positive examples of where the work of God is evident. One has to always be careful and cautious when talking about religion as it may turn others away. They may choose not to believe and furthermore not want to have anything to do with you. Again you cannot change people's perceptions and their ways of thinking but you can try and do what you believe is right and lead them through paths of enlightenment.
This long weekend commemorates the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We need to try and understand this important occasion rather than the pagan traditions associated with the Rabbit and the Easter Egg which were the means of fertility after the first full moon. We need to try and reflect on this important occasion more so than be bound up in our own introspection and the things we feel are missing in our lives. I think the long weekend should be a time to reflect on the death and resurrection of Christ and why we ought to be grateful as human beings. God Bless you and your families over the Easter period.
Friday, April 22, 2011
An ideal Aspie Friendly Zone
What exactly is AN Ideal Aspie Friendly Zone? In 2008 when I visited another Aspie in the United States, I was taken with the idea of living in a community where everything was close, people were accepting and you did not need to get around in a car. This town was in Red Wing in Minnesota and I remember thinking could this type of community be implemented for Aspies in their own countries? I remember how hard this Aspie's parents had worked to ensure that their daughter who was Aspie could be linked to services and accepted in a community.
I think that services for Aspies are possible but should the government be serious in helping those of us on the Autism Spectrum, every consideration should be provided and implemented to allow for an Aspie Friendly Zone. An Aspie Friendly Zone does not mean that it is for Aspies only but more so a zone which is far more accepting and accommodating for those of us on the Autism Spectrum. One of the things that I find difficult living in Brisbane is that some services are available but these services are limited. For instance you need to drive to them, often they can be far away and furthermore people are not always accommodating and accepting. All in all just trying to get out of your home and into the community can just be about impossible. Driving on the roads you can encounter bullying drivers, it is hard for people to understand and accept you. Furthermore, the difficulty of not having all services close by can make functioning just about impossible.
The services for adults on the Autism Spectrum are complicated for adults on the Autism Spectrum vary from one to the other. However, I have provided a suggestion to assist adults in being accepted and less stressed in the community.
1. Look for an "Aspie Friendly" small town or inner city area where services and accessiblity are possible.
2. Find areas that do not have an issue or that are not resistant to neuro diversity and are more accommodating.
3. Provide a support worker or carer that can assist the adult with Autism to access the community. Often someone to drive the person to an event or help them socially connect into a group or organisation can minimize a lot of stress
4. Have a person assist the adult with Autism to purchase groceries and help with cooking and day to day function if required.
5. For adults still living with their parents provide financial incentive for them to live closer to services which may be close to the inner city or in a smaller town or city.
6. Find areas where the adult with Autism does not feel on the outer with the community and socially isolated.
The above are only some suggestions. For instance I find Brisbane very conservative and furthermore it seems resistant to change. Often you can get about and people do not understand you and in some instances very critical and not accepting. Sometimes a friendly smile or just a hand of help can go a long way to make you feel more included within the community. Currently I feel as though I am an alien and people are often unfriendly and hostile. When combined this makes me feel stressed and also raises anxiety levels. I just don't understand why people are so hostile and not accepting? It only requires a minimal effort on the part of people to become friendly and reach out to an adult with Autism but most people don't really bother or try hard enough. Just having friends or people who care and understand can make the world of difference and change the life of someone on the Autism Spectrum.
I believe Aspies in Australia are often in denial or defensive because people do not want to take the time to understand Autism. Often they seem afraid to acknowledge that the condition actually exists and in some instances are so critical that Aspies just do not have the energy to try and disclose they have Autism. Again this is a personal choice. In Australia I would say that Melbourne comes close to being an Aspie Friendly Zone but it is of course not perfect. Aspies tend to have a mindset for perfection. Perhaps there are some Aspie Friendly towns in Australia and the rest of the world and if they do exist then should an effort be made for those adults willing to make the sacrifice to be encouraged to move to these areas to obtain better support and services? I am not really sure but sometimes more accommodating areas are better than resistant ones. I know I would prefer an area which is more easily accessible and where people were more friendly!
I think that services for Aspies are possible but should the government be serious in helping those of us on the Autism Spectrum, every consideration should be provided and implemented to allow for an Aspie Friendly Zone. An Aspie Friendly Zone does not mean that it is for Aspies only but more so a zone which is far more accepting and accommodating for those of us on the Autism Spectrum. One of the things that I find difficult living in Brisbane is that some services are available but these services are limited. For instance you need to drive to them, often they can be far away and furthermore people are not always accommodating and accepting. All in all just trying to get out of your home and into the community can just be about impossible. Driving on the roads you can encounter bullying drivers, it is hard for people to understand and accept you. Furthermore, the difficulty of not having all services close by can make functioning just about impossible.
The services for adults on the Autism Spectrum are complicated for adults on the Autism Spectrum vary from one to the other. However, I have provided a suggestion to assist adults in being accepted and less stressed in the community.
1. Look for an "Aspie Friendly" small town or inner city area where services and accessiblity are possible.
2. Find areas that do not have an issue or that are not resistant to neuro diversity and are more accommodating.
3. Provide a support worker or carer that can assist the adult with Autism to access the community. Often someone to drive the person to an event or help them socially connect into a group or organisation can minimize a lot of stress
4. Have a person assist the adult with Autism to purchase groceries and help with cooking and day to day function if required.
5. For adults still living with their parents provide financial incentive for them to live closer to services which may be close to the inner city or in a smaller town or city.
6. Find areas where the adult with Autism does not feel on the outer with the community and socially isolated.
The above are only some suggestions. For instance I find Brisbane very conservative and furthermore it seems resistant to change. Often you can get about and people do not understand you and in some instances very critical and not accepting. Sometimes a friendly smile or just a hand of help can go a long way to make you feel more included within the community. Currently I feel as though I am an alien and people are often unfriendly and hostile. When combined this makes me feel stressed and also raises anxiety levels. I just don't understand why people are so hostile and not accepting? It only requires a minimal effort on the part of people to become friendly and reach out to an adult with Autism but most people don't really bother or try hard enough. Just having friends or people who care and understand can make the world of difference and change the life of someone on the Autism Spectrum.
I believe Aspies in Australia are often in denial or defensive because people do not want to take the time to understand Autism. Often they seem afraid to acknowledge that the condition actually exists and in some instances are so critical that Aspies just do not have the energy to try and disclose they have Autism. Again this is a personal choice. In Australia I would say that Melbourne comes close to being an Aspie Friendly Zone but it is of course not perfect. Aspies tend to have a mindset for perfection. Perhaps there are some Aspie Friendly towns in Australia and the rest of the world and if they do exist then should an effort be made for those adults willing to make the sacrifice to be encouraged to move to these areas to obtain better support and services? I am not really sure but sometimes more accommodating areas are better than resistant ones. I know I would prefer an area which is more easily accessible and where people were more friendly!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The NT World of Chaos
I find the us and them mentality unhelpful when it comes to understanding people who are not on the Autism Spectrum but what I do find again speaking personally is that NT's seem to thrive on chaos and uncertainty. The world according to them is full of high and often unrealistic expectations and a great deal seem to be prepared to take risks. Now as an Aspie I find that I respond better to routine and find risk taking and a world amerced in chaos as stressful and anxiety provoking.
I think Aspies prefer routine or may instead respond better to routine and structure. Uncertainty raises stress and anxiety levels and this in itself causes Aspies confusion. We are forced to live in a world that only makes things, events and matters much worse for us.
The other issues are boundaries and there are many of these. Most boundaries seem to work against Aspies and tend to excluded Aspies in terms of being able to provide us with the opportunity of being able to demonstrate our skills and abilities. We are simply held back by constraints and hierarchy which just make future planning or opportunity virtually impossible. I know that a lot of conventions just seem overwhelming and work against me. Often I need more time and support in order to be able to utilize my full potential. Added to this is the ego factor where there is fear if you have drive or energy in certain levels added with determination to get somewhere in life. I often feel like I am drowning or suffocating in a structure that seems to work against me.
NT's I believe are prepared to live in a world that is governed by uncertainty and I wonder when or if it will be all brought back to reality?! Will Aspies also be given a go and allowed opportunity to succeed just as much as NT's?
I think Aspies prefer routine or may instead respond better to routine and structure. Uncertainty raises stress and anxiety levels and this in itself causes Aspies confusion. We are forced to live in a world that only makes things, events and matters much worse for us.
The other issues are boundaries and there are many of these. Most boundaries seem to work against Aspies and tend to excluded Aspies in terms of being able to provide us with the opportunity of being able to demonstrate our skills and abilities. We are simply held back by constraints and hierarchy which just make future planning or opportunity virtually impossible. I know that a lot of conventions just seem overwhelming and work against me. Often I need more time and support in order to be able to utilize my full potential. Added to this is the ego factor where there is fear if you have drive or energy in certain levels added with determination to get somewhere in life. I often feel like I am drowning or suffocating in a structure that seems to work against me.
NT's I believe are prepared to live in a world that is governed by uncertainty and I wonder when or if it will be all brought back to reality?! Will Aspies also be given a go and allowed opportunity to succeed just as much as NT's?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Asking for help and sleep issues
This afternoon I had to visit Mt Ommaney Shopping Centre. I found it overwhelming. Shops and shops inside a large building and they were of no interest to me. The post office has moved and also the only access to the Mt Ommaney Library was via walking through the shopping mall. I had to post 4 copies of my book. One to the Australian National Library, the other the Queensland State Library, another copy to the Queensland Parliamentary Library and my final copy to Dr Tony Attwood. Whenever a person publishes or self publishes a book this is called a legal deposit and the book has to be included in the library collection and cataloged by an ISBN Number. Having done this and provided a copy to the Brisbane City Council Library service, I just have to wait for things to evolve.
When I am stuck and feeling overwhelmed I ask people for help. I find I get confused in large shopping centres and people walking around and making noise does not help me either. I had to ask several people where the post office had been moved too and how to get to the library. It is hard to park in the shopping centre and finding my way around. I am thankful to people who try and help where they can.
I rang one of my friends who is also on the Autism Spectrum. She is stressed out and taking a break from her studies. I can understand her situation as I have not been sleeping well lately. My mind has been thinking and worrying and I am currently house sitting. There have been a lot of things on my mind and every time I hear it rain, I am anxious about it flooding again. When it did flood in Brisbane it was very traumatic not for me but for everyone in general.
Over the long weekend I am going to start learning more Spanish. I would like to get by with some words when I visit both Spain and Portugal in May. Then I will fly to England via Germany and then have a week in Ireland. I work hard and save up for my trips overseas. I am looking forward to having a break!
When I am stuck and feeling overwhelmed I ask people for help. I find I get confused in large shopping centres and people walking around and making noise does not help me either. I had to ask several people where the post office had been moved too and how to get to the library. It is hard to park in the shopping centre and finding my way around. I am thankful to people who try and help where they can.
I rang one of my friends who is also on the Autism Spectrum. She is stressed out and taking a break from her studies. I can understand her situation as I have not been sleeping well lately. My mind has been thinking and worrying and I am currently house sitting. There have been a lot of things on my mind and every time I hear it rain, I am anxious about it flooding again. When it did flood in Brisbane it was very traumatic not for me but for everyone in general.
Over the long weekend I am going to start learning more Spanish. I would like to get by with some words when I visit both Spain and Portugal in May. Then I will fly to England via Germany and then have a week in Ireland. I work hard and save up for my trips overseas. I am looking forward to having a break!
Why I think the interview and selection discriminates against Aspies
It is true that a lot of people dread the thought of addressing selection criteria and the attend the interview process. It is a means of supposedly selling and focusing on your strong points and then if successful to be short listed for an interview.
From my own personal experience I believe this process has worked against me. This is because even if I have tried my best to address the Selection Criteria, I then have in most instances failed to be short listed. If I have on the rare occasion been fortunate to have been short listed. Then I have obsessed and have been worried about performance at an interview.
Why then does the Aspie not do well in the selection and interview process? What I need to emphasise here is that Aspies suffer from facial blindness. We do not see and understand the non visual queues and non verbal language. We have, well I speak for myself here an inability to carry a conversation and more importantly understand and navigate the social process. If you can imagine a pool of applicants, most if not all are going to understand the visual and non verbal queues. Most applicants will also have a network of friends and social contacts. There will also be an understanding of the necessary social queues and contacts to get by. For an Aspie however the whole process is daunting and furthermore anxiety and worry may affect performance at an interview.
We live in a world that relies on "Equal Opportunity" but unfortunately the Aspie does not fit into this category because of our impairment in understanding the rules and requirements of basic socialisation. Aspies as Dr Tony Attwood says focus more on the special interest than on socialising.
In my own experience I have been unsuccessful in a lot of employment applications and I still am. I can remember once working at a private school and in this school I worked as a volunteer for 2 years. I applied for a position in the middle school but despite my dedication the job was given to a person who did no work but either knew the right people or could adopt the necessary bullshit required to sell himself at the job interview. In terms of his performance in the job that is another matter. If employment is 70% social and 30% practical then you have to wonder whether or not the selection process is discriminating against the person with poor social skills?
A person reading this post may not really believe or agree with what I am saying but in my opinion employing adults on the Autism Spectrum either needs more job support in terms of disability employment agencies or employers that employ adults on the Autism Spectrum without the unfair job selection process. I have spoken with other Aspies who struggle in employment in coping with the day to day interaction, meltdown issues and the lack of promotion opportunities. Some adults have also just given up in the search for employment out of frustration and welfare reform places pressure on these people to show evidence that they are looking for employment. I have personally been through this and with added stress and pressure I have found it more difficult to cope. I have seen adults with Autism angry with welfare reform as they feel the government are making life difficult for them. Not being able to obtain employment and be successful in being interviewed, the pressure has been so great that some have even resorted to feel the need to give up on life and some have even outlined that they want to end their lives as they feel constantly depressed. It annoys me that the governments or governments are not listening. Nothing is being done and money is not directed into organisation and audited to help make the lives of people better. Instead money is directed into channels where it is being wasted and some so called organisations are just draining off the public purse and pretending to listen.
I feel Australian governments continually wash their hands of serious issues. It is either too hard or simply they do not want to listen. Will things ever change? I am concerned when I try to find an answer to this question. I have no choice but to keep writing so that people can understand me better more so than wrongly judging me because I appear different to other people. I am personally sick and tired of people who constantly feel it in their interest to try and reform me and make me be their way when I cannot and do not want to be like this as it is not a true reflection of who I am.
I know I am capable of doing more in my life but I have to not bruise egos or make NT (neuro-typical) people uncomfortable. I find I am constantly being forced to 'dumb down' who I am and what supposedly I am required to do. People have egos and I am constantly having to defend myself against envious people. I am tired of this. I am not like them and yet when I be myself I am either ignored or judged wrongly. People just don't get it. Sometimes anxiety levels become so intense that I cannot find a way to escape this and when people don't listen I find myself to the point of wondering what is it I have to do to make people understand. They cannot see my struggles or difficulties and do I need to write something on my forehead. I feel held back in what I can do and I think if this is employment and I have to constantly suffer crap then is it worth it? Why are some lazy and useless people in higher positions even with qualifications when I could learn their job and do it just as good or even better than them? Again Equal Opportunity favours them and the line of least resistance is always taken. I also find it irritating when people wear masks and either pretend or fail to see when they bully or intimidate other people, more so adults and the most vulnerable within any community. It simply is not being stopped.
I don't know where I am heading in life. I am concerned that I will remain in my current position until I end up in a wooden box so to speak. I constantly am aware of envious people but why are they envious when it clearly shows I am not happy with what I am doing and the chains of discrimination which are holding me back? I am tired of people who say I need to try harder or I need to look harder for another job. Surely what I have outlined above has made sense? What is the point of applying for other jobs when there exists a selection process that works against and judges me at face value? I only hope that other opportunities will present themselves because I do not want to shelve books in a library for the rest of my life. I am capable of more! I have just written a book for heavens sake!
In society there is too much focus on people who are successful and too little on the silent achievers or battlers. The media are not interested in people are focused more on glory and the very few people who are happy in employment. Change can only happen by innovation. For the last 6 years I have been stuck in a dead end job and I try not to give up and believe I am not capable of more. All I can do is to keep trying God permitting find some other opportunity. Hopefully things will change. At the moment I feel like I am hitting my head against a brick wall. Aspies are capable of working and some make exceptional employees but again it is the the ego factor. NT's are scared of us or fearful of what we can do. Let us wait for several generations for this to happen while we sit in complacency.
More updates when I can think of writing more things that concern me and I do not believe is right. What I have outlined above is in my book and I will be speaking more about this in my upcoming book launch on Saturday 7th May 2011 at Chermside Library 10.30am.
From my own personal experience I believe this process has worked against me. This is because even if I have tried my best to address the Selection Criteria, I then have in most instances failed to be short listed. If I have on the rare occasion been fortunate to have been short listed. Then I have obsessed and have been worried about performance at an interview.
Why then does the Aspie not do well in the selection and interview process? What I need to emphasise here is that Aspies suffer from facial blindness. We do not see and understand the non visual queues and non verbal language. We have, well I speak for myself here an inability to carry a conversation and more importantly understand and navigate the social process. If you can imagine a pool of applicants, most if not all are going to understand the visual and non verbal queues. Most applicants will also have a network of friends and social contacts. There will also be an understanding of the necessary social queues and contacts to get by. For an Aspie however the whole process is daunting and furthermore anxiety and worry may affect performance at an interview.
We live in a world that relies on "Equal Opportunity" but unfortunately the Aspie does not fit into this category because of our impairment in understanding the rules and requirements of basic socialisation. Aspies as Dr Tony Attwood says focus more on the special interest than on socialising.
In my own experience I have been unsuccessful in a lot of employment applications and I still am. I can remember once working at a private school and in this school I worked as a volunteer for 2 years. I applied for a position in the middle school but despite my dedication the job was given to a person who did no work but either knew the right people or could adopt the necessary bullshit required to sell himself at the job interview. In terms of his performance in the job that is another matter. If employment is 70% social and 30% practical then you have to wonder whether or not the selection process is discriminating against the person with poor social skills?
A person reading this post may not really believe or agree with what I am saying but in my opinion employing adults on the Autism Spectrum either needs more job support in terms of disability employment agencies or employers that employ adults on the Autism Spectrum without the unfair job selection process. I have spoken with other Aspies who struggle in employment in coping with the day to day interaction, meltdown issues and the lack of promotion opportunities. Some adults have also just given up in the search for employment out of frustration and welfare reform places pressure on these people to show evidence that they are looking for employment. I have personally been through this and with added stress and pressure I have found it more difficult to cope. I have seen adults with Autism angry with welfare reform as they feel the government are making life difficult for them. Not being able to obtain employment and be successful in being interviewed, the pressure has been so great that some have even resorted to feel the need to give up on life and some have even outlined that they want to end their lives as they feel constantly depressed. It annoys me that the governments or governments are not listening. Nothing is being done and money is not directed into organisation and audited to help make the lives of people better. Instead money is directed into channels where it is being wasted and some so called organisations are just draining off the public purse and pretending to listen.
I feel Australian governments continually wash their hands of serious issues. It is either too hard or simply they do not want to listen. Will things ever change? I am concerned when I try to find an answer to this question. I have no choice but to keep writing so that people can understand me better more so than wrongly judging me because I appear different to other people. I am personally sick and tired of people who constantly feel it in their interest to try and reform me and make me be their way when I cannot and do not want to be like this as it is not a true reflection of who I am.
I know I am capable of doing more in my life but I have to not bruise egos or make NT (neuro-typical) people uncomfortable. I find I am constantly being forced to 'dumb down' who I am and what supposedly I am required to do. People have egos and I am constantly having to defend myself against envious people. I am tired of this. I am not like them and yet when I be myself I am either ignored or judged wrongly. People just don't get it. Sometimes anxiety levels become so intense that I cannot find a way to escape this and when people don't listen I find myself to the point of wondering what is it I have to do to make people understand. They cannot see my struggles or difficulties and do I need to write something on my forehead. I feel held back in what I can do and I think if this is employment and I have to constantly suffer crap then is it worth it? Why are some lazy and useless people in higher positions even with qualifications when I could learn their job and do it just as good or even better than them? Again Equal Opportunity favours them and the line of least resistance is always taken. I also find it irritating when people wear masks and either pretend or fail to see when they bully or intimidate other people, more so adults and the most vulnerable within any community. It simply is not being stopped.
I don't know where I am heading in life. I am concerned that I will remain in my current position until I end up in a wooden box so to speak. I constantly am aware of envious people but why are they envious when it clearly shows I am not happy with what I am doing and the chains of discrimination which are holding me back? I am tired of people who say I need to try harder or I need to look harder for another job. Surely what I have outlined above has made sense? What is the point of applying for other jobs when there exists a selection process that works against and judges me at face value? I only hope that other opportunities will present themselves because I do not want to shelve books in a library for the rest of my life. I am capable of more! I have just written a book for heavens sake!
In society there is too much focus on people who are successful and too little on the silent achievers or battlers. The media are not interested in people are focused more on glory and the very few people who are happy in employment. Change can only happen by innovation. For the last 6 years I have been stuck in a dead end job and I try not to give up and believe I am not capable of more. All I can do is to keep trying God permitting find some other opportunity. Hopefully things will change. At the moment I feel like I am hitting my head against a brick wall. Aspies are capable of working and some make exceptional employees but again it is the the ego factor. NT's are scared of us or fearful of what we can do. Let us wait for several generations for this to happen while we sit in complacency.
More updates when I can think of writing more things that concern me and I do not believe is right. What I have outlined above is in my book and I will be speaking more about this in my upcoming book launch on Saturday 7th May 2011 at Chermside Library 10.30am.
The General (Professional Staff) Issue
Within a university some academics sit on their high perches and think they are so much better than everyone else. Unfortunately though the truth is that the general staff run the university and the academic staff just want all the notoriety. In some institutions, general staff are just treated rudely and like crap. There is never any reward for incentive and furthermore hard work and merit are just overlooked and ignored.
It is unfortunate that such an institution operates in such measures as the work force who are general staff feel undervalued and under appreciated. I find it irritating how some of those in academia go on. They think they are so much better than everyone else. Despite the many letters and so called achievements society tends to judge these achievements more so than on others who are just as talented and behind the scenes contribute a hell of a lot more to life.
If it were not for the general staff the university would struggle to operate and yet treating general staff like they are non existent and over working them to the point of stress seems to be the way to go. Now I ask again is this equal opportunity?! Where is the reward for incentive and promotion if any based on merit. You just reach the stage of saying to hell with it all and try the best you can if possible to look for opportunities elsewhere! You just hope one day that this will become possible.
It is unfortunate that such an institution operates in such measures as the work force who are general staff feel undervalued and under appreciated. I find it irritating how some of those in academia go on. They think they are so much better than everyone else. Despite the many letters and so called achievements society tends to judge these achievements more so than on others who are just as talented and behind the scenes contribute a hell of a lot more to life.
If it were not for the general staff the university would struggle to operate and yet treating general staff like they are non existent and over working them to the point of stress seems to be the way to go. Now I ask again is this equal opportunity?! Where is the reward for incentive and promotion if any based on merit. You just reach the stage of saying to hell with it all and try the best you can if possible to look for opportunities elsewhere! You just hope one day that this will become possible.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
An ideal world
As I move forward in raising awareness of Autism I often wonder and hope that the present and the future will change. I am not out for personal glory but I do want to make the most of my potential which at present remains largely untapped. What I would like to see is a world that begins to understand Autism and to understand that it does not only effect children but adults as well.
I would like to see the issues of unemployment be overcome and witness real hope and opportunity within employment. I believe this is starting to emerge but still it is largely slow and taking time to implement.
We would live in an ideal world where people could embrace Autism and focus on its strong points than to acknowledge its weaknesses. We have so many talented individuals and yet they are never really afforded the opportunity and support which they really deserve. Services for adults with Autism is still a major area of neglect and the wheels of change have to keep grinding away to oil these wheels and allow them the chance to be seen and heard. This I also hope will happen soon.
I am not satisfied living in a world that still allows or turns a blind eye to workplace bullying, discrimination, exploitation, and lack of equal opportunity. I am not satisfied when I hear of unfair dismissal and for a lack of disability employment agencies to provide the necessary support for job placement, interview support and staff development. Finally I am not satisfied when little or no awareness is made available to highlight the positive strengths of persons with Autism and there is a lack of early intervention in schools.
I ask everyone reading this post to keep an open mind. Try to understand that there are people who may think differently and act in a way that you may not fully understand. People including myself are not like this to stand out or to seek favoritism or special treatment, all we ask is for you to keep an open mind.
I believe that support and understanding in Autism is growing but to continue to make positive strides we need the media to show positive stories and this will happen soon. I know of many adults on the Autism Spectrum who are making a very positive contribution to society and it seems there is little interest in their achievements. Please stay tuned for my second book "Crikey I'm Eccentric" but for now I ask for your support in reading my first book in the hope of sharing my story. I write this story to raise awareness and for society to hopefully learn and overcome the mistakes that occurred in the past and to learn from these so they are never repeated again.
Remember in your workplace that bullying of any form is simply not tolerated and it needs to be reported as soon as possible. For any person its consequences and actions can be severely crippling. Let us hope for an ideal world.
I would like to see the issues of unemployment be overcome and witness real hope and opportunity within employment. I believe this is starting to emerge but still it is largely slow and taking time to implement.
We would live in an ideal world where people could embrace Autism and focus on its strong points than to acknowledge its weaknesses. We have so many talented individuals and yet they are never really afforded the opportunity and support which they really deserve. Services for adults with Autism is still a major area of neglect and the wheels of change have to keep grinding away to oil these wheels and allow them the chance to be seen and heard. This I also hope will happen soon.
I am not satisfied living in a world that still allows or turns a blind eye to workplace bullying, discrimination, exploitation, and lack of equal opportunity. I am not satisfied when I hear of unfair dismissal and for a lack of disability employment agencies to provide the necessary support for job placement, interview support and staff development. Finally I am not satisfied when little or no awareness is made available to highlight the positive strengths of persons with Autism and there is a lack of early intervention in schools.
I ask everyone reading this post to keep an open mind. Try to understand that there are people who may think differently and act in a way that you may not fully understand. People including myself are not like this to stand out or to seek favoritism or special treatment, all we ask is for you to keep an open mind.
I believe that support and understanding in Autism is growing but to continue to make positive strides we need the media to show positive stories and this will happen soon. I know of many adults on the Autism Spectrum who are making a very positive contribution to society and it seems there is little interest in their achievements. Please stay tuned for my second book "Crikey I'm Eccentric" but for now I ask for your support in reading my first book in the hope of sharing my story. I write this story to raise awareness and for society to hopefully learn and overcome the mistakes that occurred in the past and to learn from these so they are never repeated again.
Remember in your workplace that bullying of any form is simply not tolerated and it needs to be reported as soon as possible. For any person its consequences and actions can be severely crippling. Let us hope for an ideal world.
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