It's just a different way of thinking

Communication is different for a person on the Autism Spectrum. This can be difficult when dealing with other people who may treat you in a way that they are used to when dealing with the non Autism population. For an Aspie though we can sometimes be offended when someone says something to us or has an issue with something we do as we can become confused and sometimes even offended. Most people are not always aware of their actions and without the proper education and awareness, a person on the Autism Spectrum may feel confused or even anxious about how to respond or to deal with the situation. Stronger personalities can also be a problem as most Aspies are introspective. Whereas a non Autistic person may have better coping strategies and defence mechanisms to deal with a difficult situation, an Aspie may just try their best to cope with a given situation and obsess or agonize over it. This creates over thinking and mental tiredness. In a work situation, an Aspie may confront a difficult situation or a stronger personality and may find it difficult to stand up for themselves. This is where awareness is needed to help ensure things flow smoothly.

As an Aspie a work environment is often very draining. Just getting through the day and understanding people and their motives can be both challenging and difficult. Some days I feel so overwhelmed that I wonder whether having a job is all really worth it! Luckily I have some supportive people but unfortunately there influence cannot always make changes possible and provide awareness and understanding where appropriate. Survival in employment for the very few Aspies that work really needs to be admired.

Yesterday I caught up with a friend and we had coffee. He purchased my book and it was good to meet up with him. He told me that he might have ADD and I thought it was very brave of him to tell me. I find most Aspies tend to interact with others that may have their own experiences and challenges in life. It is good though to have friendship and to know others go through the same challenges.

I am just coping today. I have had a busy week and what I need to emphasise is that unlike a person who advocates for other conditions, I have Asperger Syndrome 24/7. I live with it everyday. I cannot walk away from it. It affects my thinking and day to day function. For a person who may have a partner who has Alzheimer's Disease for instance, they may advocate on behalf of this person but their mind is not directly affected. In my situation, I am always thinking like an Aspie. It is hard to walk away from it. It consumes my thinking, it makes me tired, I can become confused and feel at times like I am melting down. Just simple everyday things can be a struggle. Driving the car, using my intelligence to get through the working day and to cope with stress and anxiety.

When dealing with Aspies and communicating with us, we may not always understand things the same way as non Autistic people. Methods and approaches used for non Autistic people may not always work with those on the Autism Spectrum. Sometimes we can become offended by people who simply do not understand that their own behaviours may offend or be inappropriate. Our minds can be controlled by our Aspie wired brains. We are hard at times to understand but we are not stupid so please do not treat us as tough we are like this. We just need people to understand us better and allow us to be also treated like human beings. Just making small changes and trying to understand can go a long way in helping to make the life of a person on the Autism Spectrum better.

I also had a brief opportunity to use my brain in the job. The book machine was down and books had to be manually checked in. While on the Loans Desk as I needed access to returning books, a patron asked me to help them find a hold. I tried my best to help and could not find it. A supervisor came in and then I was directed away from the desk to check in books again. I felt frustrated and annoyed. I cannot do more and I am held back in a hierarchical system that does not encourage wider thinking. It is just like I cannot use my brain at all!

Damian Santamauro needs your help

Damian is an adult on the Autism Spectrum undertaking research into young adults on the Autism Spectrum. Below is his message for your support

" Hi everyone! I am currently running focus groups at the University of Queensland and am currently looking for parents of adolescents and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Participants will be asked questions about their experiences with the emotion regulation of their adolescent/young adult children.

Each focus group will take about an hour and the information you provide will be treated confidentially. There will also be morning or afternoon tea depending on what time best suits everyone. Please let me know if you are interested in participating! :)"

Please visit my website to contact Damian as his email is on this.

Adult on the Autism Spectrum conducting research into sex and adults on the Autism Spectrum

As more and more adults are now starting to accept their Autism Spectrum diagnosis so a new phase of research begins. Kat Stork-Brett at the University of Queensland is now researching adults on the Autism Spectrum and sex, relationships, romance etc. From around the world and here in Australia, many adults on the Autism Spectrum simply struggle or give up in thinking that they will find a partner or enter a relationship. Hopefully Kat's research will change this?

The topic of sex and relationships for adults on the Autism Spectrum is a new phase of research and to assist Kat with her research I have provided the link to participate in her survey. Kat has asked me to mention her research and so I thought I would post her research and a link to it on my blog. Although the issue of sex can be a difficult area to discuss, why should adults on the Autism Spectrum miss out on finding relationships and succeeding in dating if nobody understands the difficulties and frustrations which they encounter?

The link to Kat's research can be accessed by opening the following link. http://exp.psy.uq.edu.au/sexy Information will remain confidential and for more information concerning this topic please visit Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Adults or contact Kat Stork-Brett directly. Her survey also provides feedback information on areas in your own life as an adult on the Autism Spectrum where you encounter difficulty. Kat would be very grateful I am sure if you help out in her research and the adult Autism Community.

A positive change is finally happening

I would like to begin this post by thanking firstly certain people in the University of Queensland for allowing me to attend St Edmunds College this afternoon and for Asperger Services Australia for supplying me with business cards. I spoke in front of 30 students on the Autism Spectrum with the assistance of a fellow Aspie. I was moved to see and was very proud of these students. They had varying interests and abilities. One liked computers, another engineering, another a carpenter, and another liked hospitality. As I spoke to the students, they listened with interest about my experiences of being an adult on the Autism Spectrum. I mentioned positives for Aspies and how they can be employed and make a contribution to society.

I spoke with each and every body individually. I wanted to give them hope, talk about their special interests and hope that the future of advocacy will be positive for them. These boys were mostly in denial of being on the Autism Spectrum but after I spoke with them they felt a sense of liberation. They knew they no longer were in darkness with no role models who had been there before. It was a great afternoon. I sold two books also! I hope that I can speak at more schools. I felt relaxed and the words and experiences flowed. The teachers were grateful I came. Things are really moving forward. I am proud of the future generations of Aspies and some of the adults on the Autism Spectrum I know now. No longer is there this horrible darkness as much as there used to be. We are uniting, not to take over the world but to be accepted, break free of the chains of ignorance and discrimination.

I would like to speak at any school that reads this blog post. I have had some interest from schools in Toowoomba and on the Sunshine Coast. I need as many schools as possible to contact me. I would like to help and provide support for future generations of Aspies. It is just a matter of waiting to hear from more people.

Having a quirky side

As often the world can be serious I find that I do have a quirky side. For instance I have a fascination with 1950's Sci Movies, and old movies in general. I also remember some of the TV shows I grew up with when I was younger. I find what is on television now does not interest me, unless it is a worthwhile documentary or a funny show. When I turn on the TV for instance all you ever hear about is news, dramas and misery. So I just don't turn the television on. I am fortunate in that I can switch off from a lot of the modern days stresses and pressures wherever possible. I also find the majority of people bring with them issues. People just seem serious or on edge. Nobody really talks to each other much so I live in my head or in my own world. This is a means of escape. People cannot annoy me. I can do the things I like without any extra hassles.

I find people don't seem to have the time to really sit down and watch entertainment for entertainment now seems to be lost in dramas and issues. How many people in their late 30's want to get a walking stick, a wardrobe full of different hats, and collect souvenirs from around the world? It annoys me when boring Australian society wants to eradicate all forms of eccentricity. Why can't people be different when most people dress like slobs at any rate? Tonight I was contacted by Union Shopper and asked if I wanted to change my private health cover. The guy on the other end sounded like the perfect salesman. I am now apparently on better private health than I was before. If I go to the dentist I can claim more and if I need a psychiatrist, I can also get cover for this as well. It is good to know that there are some people out there who hopefully care?

My mood can change from day to day. I can feel like I am coping tonight and the next day I may feel alone. I survive though because I have some kind of inner strength that allows me to keep going. Being quirky and eccentric are good qualities and I only wish that people excepted them more than try and want to get rid of them.

Understanding how a person on the Autism Spectrum thinks and communicates

It is often very difficult for a person not on the Autism Spectrum to understand how a person on the Autism Spectrum thinks and communicates. I am going to speak about my own personal experience. The 'regular' world is often very confusing. People do not always say what they mean and furthermore the use of words by non Autistic persons just don't always seem to convey the same meanings of how I interpret them. For instance it can be hard to distinguish between humour and whether or not someone may be intentionally rude. In such situations I have to use my intelligence to work out what is going on and if the other person's comments were intended as humour, I may take them literally thinking in an analytical sense.

When I am around non Autistic people I feel as though they are speaking and behaving in ways I cannot always understand. Why for instance do they communicate with non Autistic people better and why do I always find myself feeling isolated and eventually excluded when talking with non Autistic people? It seems that I speak and use a different language that they do. I think that all person on the Autism Spectrum seem to live more in their heads and internalize a lot of the problems they experience around them. A non Autistic person may be able to clearly state a concern and have other persons around them understand or somewhat understand what they mean but for a person on the Autism Spectrum if they have a concern a bit the noise coming from a dripping tap or issues relating to sensory issues, then persons not on the Autism Spectrum may not always be able to understand. I think that persons on the Autism Spectrum have their own language and means of communication. We can live more in our heads than be in the world around us because this provides us with some sanctuary and we are less likely to be hurt by people. Friendships can be a minefield and relationships a headache, so we often struggle with them.

Boundaries need to be defined with both Autistic and especially non Autistic people. The boundary helps the person on the Autism Spectrum to know where they may stand with others around them. It is harder when finding potential relationships, especially for Aspie men because I think we expect the woman to be more clear with boundaries and women think it odd that men want boundaries or to know where they stand in a potential relationship. The biggest problem I have as an Aspie is that I find relationships all too overwhelming because I lack confidence in myself and furthermore I just find the mental energy required to exist in a relationship all too overwhelming. Too much pressure is placed on men today and for Aspie men I think that this is very taxing. Self esteem and confidence issues tend to become stumbling blocks and furthermore the small talk required in establishing a relationship especially with the opposite sex is virtually impossible. As a male Aspie in my own personal experience I just find relationships depressing and draining. I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that I am not relationship material and I should invest my energy into other areas. When you next talk to an Aspie ask yourself the question of how the person thinks and communicates? Try to understand them more and I know this may not always be easy.

People just dont get it!

I start off my post tonight with "Dear Diary Why Don't People Get It!?". It seems like every day existence is just about impossible for if I open my mouth and say something I am going to offend someone or people wont understand. What's more why are people not reliable?

I find that trusting people is difficult and making friends or trying to make them is just a complete waste of time. So why bother? What exactly do you also need to do when you can't cope anymore. Scream your head off at the top of your voice and say to people that they should know better?!

What I find is that most annoying is when the world seems so stuffed up and if you state things as they are that you are seen as negative. Why so is not telling the truth something for a person to act upon? It is hardest being a high functioning Aspie in an almost perfect NT body when your brain thinks differently. Also being a male Aspie in my situation is just a total waste of time in terms of the dating process as you always cop body blows in the form of rejection or you seem to repel the opposite sex as in my case. Maybe it is time to just admit that I am destined to be on my own for the rest of my life. I just find the whole dating and relationship process to be something to put in the too hard basket. I was asked recently "I can't believe you are single". My response to this girl was well you better believe it and I found out she was married when I told her that should she wish to date me that I was available. I soon reach 40 and man I need a walking stick! I feel 75 at any rate more so than 38. Most people my age and younger just seem to talk crap most of the time at any rate. I can't understand why people have meaningless conversations and go on with this ego crap that just seems to waste their energy.

My post is somewhat discombobulated tonight but I wish people would start to get it as it would make life a lot easier. People are just confusing and I just don't understand them especially women in dating scenarios or online dating.

Today I stood up!

This afternoon I went to a family member's place. It was good to catch up with the family members but one family member really got up my nose. For years this family member has slagged persons that have tried to help them. The family member had a go at me "Stop fiddling with it (camera) you are like your father, you have to fiddle with things and wreck them". I was not going to take this crap. I said firmly and after years of continually dealing with such slagging in other situations, I said "You have to remember there are some good points to people also. The person concerned helped you a lot in your life and you should appreciate this!".

For the first time in my life I was not going to take any more nonsense. I have had enough. I am tired of people who slag others who try and help them. This is not good. I know I should not mention this on my blog but even though the person suffers from poor health, this is still no excuse. I no longer feel respect for people who go on like this. It is not good nor healthy. People who help and who may not always be perfect certainly do not need to be put down.

Call for Papers - ASA 2nd National Conference 2012

Asperger Services Australia is now calling for papers from adults on the Autism Spectrum to speak at a very important conference in Brisbane in February 2012. This conference is not only for adults on the Autism Spectrum who currently have spoken or who do speak regularly, but for other adults also. To put it bluntly as many submissions as possible as well as attendance are needed to make this event important.

For anyone interested I would encourage you to double click on the Title of this post in order to obtain information or to visit Asperger Services Australia for more information. On my website there is a twitter feed which also will provide information on how you can submit. The link is for submission http://us1.campaign-archive1.com/?u=ef8741197c3b1cd50982bed62&id=66319c64a6

We hope as many adults as possible can attend to make this event very important and to provide a voice for those of us as adults on the Autism Spectrum.

Employing adults on the Autism Spectrum

To examine ways of employing adults on the Autism Spectrum I am going to mention two things. Firstly my own experiences and secondly strategies which I believe will work.

In 1998 I was diagnosed by Dr Tony Attwood as having Asperger Syndrome. At the time I was in the last year of a Bachelor of Arts Degree, and I found liberation in knowing what was firstly wrong with me, and then secondly to work out where to go next. Prior to being a student at the University of New England, finding employment was impossible. Despite submitting endless job applications and going to the rare interview, I just was not getting anywhere. My parents went through hell in trying to work out what type of work I could do and I found myself being on unemployment benefits and sending numerous unsuccessful job application responses to the Department of Social Security. But moving forward again to my experiences as a student at university and having just been diagnosed, I had to work out what I was going to do once I graduated from university. Despite numerous attempts and being unsuccessful in finding employment, I registered with the CRS (Commonwealth Rehabilitation Service) in Brisbane, Australia. I attended with my mother to see the employment consultant there and I was visiting her whenever pressured was applied only to find that finding an inroad or a chance in employment was virtually impossible. After repeated visits and my mother being tenacious, I was to be successful in obtaining an internship to the Queensland Parliamentary Library. Here I worked for approximately 5 months. The internship was to be replaced with me acting in a position while another staff member was on leave. I enjoyed the job but once the staff remember returned, I was without a job. I could not be offered a position. Again I had to start the ball rolling. I joined numerous disability employment agencies only to find that either I was just visiting them for a chat with the employment consultant rather than actually attending job interviews etc. After being hassled by Centrelink, a manager of one of the disability employment agencies suggested I apply for the Disability Support Pension. After she submitted an application, I was to be successful but the problem remained that I had no quality of life. I was socially isolated, losing self esteem day by day and experiencing anxiety issues. I realised this was not good enough and I had to try very hard to find a job. I attempted volunteer work but the problem was that volunteer work did not lead to paid employment. So again I was getting nowhere. After repeated attempts and experiencing a breakdown, I applied to another disability employment agency and I was to have success in finding some part time employment and my current work in the University of Queensland Social Sciences library. Anyone reading this post you can find out more by obtaining a copy of my book from my website http://www.garryburge.com

I am now going to address the question of how to employ adults on the Autism Spectrum. I am going to speak from my own personal experience here. I found that disclosure of my diagnosis was important. After tossing and turning and having many sleepless nights, my mother contacted the manager of the Queensland Parliamentary Library and asked her directly should diagnosis be disclosed? The manager's response was yes because it made the Parliamentary Library aware of my difficulties, peculiar ways, and ways of learning. From then on I pushed very hard to get the employment consultant to find me work. After employment consultants coming and going, I was provided with a Vietnamese man who now acted as my employment consultant. He worked very hard and helped me to find employment at CODA (Carers of Disabled Adults) and my current position within the University of Queensland Social Sciences Library. He trained me in my current job and furthermore assisted me with firstly attending the job interview and settling into the workplace.

This is what I see as important and how Aspies can be employed

1. An adult on the Autism Spectrum needs to register with a disability employment agency
2. The adult on the Autism Spectrum needs to find a supportive and hard work employment consultant or job coach
3. The job coach should attend a job interview with the Adult with Autism
4. Initial training and settling into the job should occur
5. Work place health and safety and equity issues etc need to be addressed and understood so person with Autism knows they feel safe
6. Supportive manager should be found in employment so that should there be any concerns, meetings are held to overcome issues.

For more about the above please visit my website or obtain a copy of my book "I Want To Work An Asperger Story"

When employing Aspies (Autism Spectrum adults) workplaces cannot change to exclude the interview process and selection procedure. This unfortunately breaches equity issues but it is necessary and essential that disability employment agencies should provide support as mentioned above. The employers that exist such as Autism Works, Specialisterne, Aspiritech and (Software Testing employer in early stages in Melbourne, Australia) specifically employ adults on the Autism Spectrum can also be some other examples where employment is also possible. Adults on the Autism Spectrum are employable but they need to be given a chance in employment. In conclusion to find out more about my own views and beliefs please visit my website http://www.garryburge.com

Do I think the world will change?

I have often been told that I cannot change the world. I know myself that I cannot change the world but I can try my best to provide more education and awareness. Robert Kennedy the brother of President John F Kennedy once said

All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don't. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity.
Robert Kennedy

When I spoke with Dr Tony Attwood, I mentioned to him that I often feel like a ghost or shadow. It is like I don't really exist as a person but someone who has had to try my best to adapt to a world that does not really understand me. It can be difficult when you have Asperger Syndrome to try and adjust to a world that seems all the time foreign. Simple day to day functioning and understanding people can be difficult and making friends and entering relationships the same. I find that I exist in a vacuum where I am physically here but just don't seem to fit in anywhere. It is like I have fallen through the cracks.

Thinking the world will change is a big undertaking. It is too overwhelming but I as a person can make a stance. I can deal only with the cards I am given and make the most of life. I have formed some friendships, established some connections through social networks and I have written a book and in the slow process of writing another. All I can do is give it my best. More and more adults on the Autism Spectrum can be found throughout the globe. When I was diagnosed myself, I felt like I was the only person but now there are other adults. They are all affected differently but we are all united in that we know we are different. We have our own challenges and the more and more adults connect the more likely it is that the world will change. I think global change is slowly occurring but it will take several generations to see even more happen. Let us remain optimistic and united for the future.

Dealing with the cards I have

My experience with online dating websites are really a disaster. I feel that I repel the opposite sex and perhaps I am really wasting my time and energy in looking. It seems much easier to simply shirk this part of my life and to deal with the things that seem to be unfolding.

This morning a female contacted me in a somewhat precarious or perhaps predatory situation. She claimed that her boyfriend left her and that she was originally from Spring Hill in Brisbane. She also claimed that she needed somewhere to live and was an out of work actress. I really don't take fools easily and felt that perhaps this person was a predator out to get someone vulnerable. After answering 2 emails, I then said should you contact me again that I will be taking further action to have your email investigated by Australian authorities. It really sickens me that people prey on those people who are most vulnerable, lonely and really needing someone. They just use all their predatory tactics to get what they want and then treat the person they used like crap. I contacted several higher authorities which I care not to name and these authorities shared similar concerns about this type of behaviour. My concern is for other persons on the Autism Spectrum.

This morning I listened to "The Blue Danube" by Andre Reiu and placed a phone call to the Autism Queensland about being a conference speaker. My name will be placed on a waiting list so if something does come up, I will be called.

I am working hard in my job. I have not taken any days off sick and I really try very hard to help overseas students understand the library. I encourage them to think and understand how a library works, and they thank me for it. I must be doing something right. Everything went well today until I contacted a secretary in a Federal MP's Office. This secretary treated me like I was stupid and I do not need this. I have worked hard in the work I do and to write the book I have etc. Why are some people so rude? I am not rude to them so why are they rude to me?

I am happy that adults on the Autism Spectrum are getting more attention. Something I am doing is right. I don't do well with women romantically to tell you the truth. I don't feel confident and I don't take rejection personally anymore. I think I am not really relationship material anyhow. I am not even sure if I want a relationship to tell you the truth. I don't know what I want anymore. I just do my best and try to make the most of life where I can. I had a walk this afternoon with my parents and feel a bit better. I have a house sit coming up so life seems to be on track for now.

Are Aspies employable?

Yes I do believe Aspies are employable but I think that they need on the job support to help them settle into a job and overcome the difficulties of applying for job applications and attending job interviews. In my recent book which I had self published and which went well at my book launch, I mention my own difficulties, personal experiences and eventual success in finding employment. This book although short, describes the struggles I endured in finding a job and some strategies that are useful in helping an Aspie find employment. The book also has a Foreword from Dr Tony Attwood.

I believe Aspies are employable but the biggest problem is modifying the work environment in order to cater for their needs and to provide support. Disclosure of Asperger Syndrome diagnosis is a personal decision. It is one I believe that helped me in finding employment but it varies from adult to adult. Some undiagnosed Aspies are afraid of disclosure of diagnosis because they fear being bullied, discriminated against or even sacked in their job. They are afraid to tell their employer or their supervisor so cope as best they can and get by.

I hear of many adults who tell me they really want a job but just find the whole application process overwhelming. Added to this some simply don't make it to the interview stage or if in the rare instance they do, the interview process tends to judge them on face value and performance on the day. In my own experience the job interview simply let me down. Lacking the social skills necessary to succeed in the job interview and being anxious simply let me down. I found that with the assistance of a job coach or employment consultant that when this person attended the interview with me and provided me with on the job support that this greatly helped. The biggest problem in Australia and most if not all countries is that there are very few employment agencies who are able to place an Aspie into a job. Added to this how many jobs are Aspies suited to and will the employer accommodate their needs, eccentricities etc?

The very few Aspies in employment are working in jobs that don't harness their full potential. Some fall between the cracks and others find the work environment overwhelming. These few Aspies even the ones undiagnosed who meet far greater challenges, feel afraid of being bullied, encounter discrimination or even worse, dismissal. Working life can be very challenging and for an Aspie having to rely more own working things out intellectually more so than applying the everyday social skills that non Autistic people take for granted, Aspies tend to confront more difficult challenges. Some have to resort to union membership to stand up to their rights and others just get by as best they can and sometimes unfortunately they may just resign due to reasons of stress or even be sacked which does not help their self esteem.

I hope to write my next book which I am writing very slowly to address some of the issues and to help employers find ways in understanding Aspies. My concern is that a lot of Asperger adults are living a lower quality of life. As they don't have a job they cannot afford to live comfortably and sadly many become subject to mental illness and social isolation. They feel as though nobody cares about them and sometimes siblings and other family members don't understand.

In my own opinion there needs to be greater access for Aspies to find employment agencies and to find job coaches or employment consultants to assist them in job placement, interview attendance and workplace training. This needs to happen fast. I would encourage anyone to visit my website by double clicking on this blog post to access my website and to obtain a copy of my book. This can be found on the homepage of my website and you can obtain a copy by clicking on 'Buy Now" tab. Your support will help me to publish another book so any help greatly appreciated.

Getting the information to the people

Yesterday I posted a book donation to all Australian State Libraries and one to the National Library of New Zealand. As well as this, I have just received some payments from Tasmania and New Zealand for my book. So more territory is being covered.

My book now appears in some Australian Libraries but as yet it has not attracted media attention. I hope this soon changes? I would encourage anyone to purchase or borrow this book and have a read of it. It is the start of a long journey to help make employment for adults on the Autism Spectrum.

Should you be interested in purchasing or finding out more about the book, please visit my website http://www.garryburge.com Your help will go a long way

Why an Aspie has to be admired in a job

I have been employed at the University of Queensland Social Sciences for approximately 6 years now. People ask me why am I unable to get another job? I am also asked why I don't like the job that I do? Well I will answer these questions as best I can and try to be honest in my response.

I find myself as unemployable because quite simply I have intelligence but I have very few skills that make me valuable. I also find it difficult to get on in the work environment primarily because other people tend to make life difficult. In my current job I have to deal with a lot of movement around the library and also the sensory issues that go with it. I am almost 40 years old and I still shelve books in a library! I feel inadequate in terms of employ-ability and find the interview and selection employment application overwhelming. To put it quite simply it is just maddening and soul destroying. I also find that working in a hierarchical employer such as UQ that at times I feel like people make life difficult for me as they want to get rid of me. I am different, I don't find social chit chat easy and more importantly I cannot understand or relate to office politics. More importantly I don't really have much time for the suck up game. When I seem to cause trouble, I notice it shortly thereafter. I feel stressed to the point of wondering why I should bother to have a job at all? Why do people make life difficult? Why can't I learn more skills? Such questions just seem to be impossible to answer. Even though I work part time, I still find myself stressed and at times, I cannot sleep properly. Going to work can be like jungle warfare and I feel so stressed that I have to rely on all the mental energy I can muster just to get through the working day.

I feel that I would rather work in a job for pleasure and actually enjoy what I do. Instead the focus is on how much money you can make and to invest time outside of work in other pursuits. I will be honest, time outside of work is spent in social isolation, loneliness and confusion. I have few friends that I can call upon and I sometimes can be stressed to the point that I just want to be left alone. This is hard when you cannot even afford comfortable accommodation and creating a strain on your parents. My parents try very hard to help me but why should they have to and I endure all the stress of conventional living!? I have given up on trying to hope or believe that my work place will change. As there are so many Hew Levels that rank a person in employment and I am still on Level 2 which is the second lowest, I feel that I will be stuck in my current situation until I retire. People say that I am lucky to be where I am but do they really know how I live my life? I do not have social networks and I can only rely on Facebook and Twitter to communicate with the outside world. I feel bad in that I have met Aspies overseas and like me they have similar struggles. Some cannot even get time off work to meet other Aspies in other countries. I don't really make much money to be honest. The fact is I save and I have to save hard. I can afford holidays because I save money and when I travel, I travel on my own anyway. On tours I find myself not fitting in with people and talk to myself where I can. I also struggle in simple communication and people do not see that under the mask I am really a kind person. Dating websites are deflating as usually I just am no good to a person of the opposite sex. I am not rich, I live with my parents, I have impairments in some areas of function and people just don't see it. Every day I go to work, I hope and I pray that things will get better. People will be nicer, more tolerant and I may learn more skills other than manual handling. I have tried to do library courses but these have not worked. I handed in assessment which was not marked and the course supervisors were very poorly trained in understanding my needs. I was once again judged at face value.

I have written a book which to be honest took a great deal of work. I also have to be honest in that a lot of people whom I thought would purchase the book have shown absolutely no interest. I cannot understand this as surely if they were true friends or supporters they would be interested. People think perhaps that I am after fame or fortune. I am not, I just want to make this world a better place. Some days are like living a prison sentence. I cannot escape the way my brain thinks and I get confused by situations around me. I have hurt people and not realised it or others have hurt me and they don't care. I just feel at a loss.

In conclusion, I admire myself. I have strength and endurance. I have people where I work who have supported me and I know that sometimes I may be ungrateful to them. Some of these people have helped me to find a place to belong and to step out of the wilderness. I just wish other Aspies would understand that I would like to help them also. A few have attacked me horribly and I try to forgive. There are other adults who know that the only way forward is to learn from their mistakes and to realise that introspection and being self centred is not the way to go. If only people could get through to them and try and make them understand that not everyone is against them then they could come out of themselves. Every day my job is challenging. I have to deal with sensory issues, students acting in sometimes appalling behaviours and systems breaking down. I also try and help some students who genuinely want help with a catalogue that fails them by showing books are available when they are not. I look up to good people and seek guidance through them. In one instance when dealing with somewhat unsavory staff I tried to imagine a good staff member that I was talking to just so that I could be strong and stand up to them. I also find some people see me as brainless or stupid and I am tired of this. I am not stupid or brainless and people have to stop thinking like this. If it means I have to write more books then so be it. I wrote my current book because I was fed up. I want people to understand me as an Aspie better. Please try and understand that the few Aspies in employment need to be admired. What you take for granted we struggle with and we just ask for you to understand. Please just try and understand! Remember we are human also but we just think differently and may take time to get things right. Aspies are good people and we should not be treated badly, discriminated against or bullied. It is about time the media listens to us and governments start to understand our struggles as we need help!

I know the common cliche is that 'all men find women difficult to understand' but for Aspie men the dating process is extremely difficult. I will speak from my own experience. As an Aspie I have little confidence and I really don't have the time or energy to play hurtful cat and mouse games. I also find that women are too fussy and most tend to go for dumbed down men because they are not really a threat to them. Women can be hurtful and I am speaking as an Aspie man! There are so many hoops that make relationships for us impossible but some Aspies but not many do succeed. Relationships are not for everyone. I also find that not being in a relationship that most guys I know seem to think it odd or avoid me. Perhaps they may have some prejudices or wrongful assumptions. I can remember one individual only wanting to meet with me after a relationship I had with an Aspie female to find out whether or not I actually lost my virginity. Why are people so shallow?! Life has to improve for Aspies and I hope that this does happen. Some days are a prison sentence being in constant social isolation. I know some females on the Autism Spectrum who also have their own struggles. I know of one friend who had a breakdown and she did her best to cope. Where were people to help her and the services? Things have to get better for Aspies as they do for others also but what we deal with is largely unseen. I hope things change for the future but for those of us in employment please try and help us out as we need to be admired.

The Autism Community needs to work together

As I continue to stand up for the Autism Community one of the serious issues which needs to be addressed is loyalty and unification. People in the Autism community cannot exist without the non Autistic Community and within my own advocacy I have encountered critics and some disloyal people who have criticised or attacked me when I try and help them. This is not helping anybody and personally it is not getting anybody anywhere. All people on the Autism Spectrum are different and the levels of support may differ from one individual to another. If adults on the Autism Spectrum also want a better quality of life, they need to make an effort as well as people not on the Autism Spectrum. I know of some adults who are working very hard and assisting to raise awareness of the Autism Spectrum and they really need more support. I am not going to mention these persons by name but they are going out of their way to try and allow for greater understanding, support and awareness of the Autism Spectrum.

A person can come and go of their own free will from any of the channels of support that exist but personally a more united approach is going to achieve a great deal more than taking an introspective approach. Life is not easy I know, but one of the things I learned was to have some areas of self discipline in the areas of employment and in self appearance. The Autism Community need to learn from non Autistic People and visa versa. I have in the past criticised the non Autistic community but really it does not get anyone anywhere. It is all about education and more importantly jettisoning negative or unhelpful comments that just cause further division. Such groups as Aspie United and some conversations in Wrong Planet which criticise the non Autistic Community are not always helpful. Once again it is about education. Not everyone supports what I do which is fair enough as this is their decision but in terms of moving forward we need to educate and enlighten people about the Autism Spectrum. Life is not easy for persons on the Autism Spectrum or anyone but please try and support the people who are really making an effort to make the world a better place for persons on the Autism Spectrum. It is not only me but there are some other persons who are working very hard on your behalf and it is important that you try and support them where you can. Attacks, criticism or disloyalty are not going to get anyone anywhere. I devote a lot of my time and I self fund my own Autism Advocacy and it would be good to just see things get better. Also Brisbane Asperger Syndrome Facebook has some very useful information for those who of you who support it.

Ignorance needs to be overcome with education and we need to start now!

The dating scenario for Aspie men

I am currently working at ways to see how adults on the Autism Spectrum can be more successful at dating if they are of course interested. The dating process can be both deflating and debilitating but one advantage of online dating is that face to face contact is less likely to be confrontational.

Some of the steps to assist with a successful relationship for an Aspie male may include and this is my own account so please remember this.

1. Establish a dating profile that describes you as a person in a positive sense
2. Mention only briefly that you have Asperger Syndrome
3. Provide some pictures that are appropriate and reflect honestly who you are as a person
4. Ensure boundaries are clearly defined where possible

What if you are in contact with someone?

The first step is to take things slowly. Dating can be very daunting for Aspie men as and if contact is only on the dating website just use these and let things evolve. If there has been acceptance beyond the first initial contact then take things slowly. Talk about your special interests and ask the other person about themselves also. It may also be good if the opportunity permits to ask the other person how they are and how their week has been. Just establish what form of communication works best for you

I am currently in contact with a person via this website and just taking things slowly. I try not to have expectations as they often do not work out. If anyone is interested I have provided the weblink to the website in the title of this post. I don't know how things will evolve myself but I hope to try and help other Aspie men where I can if I can provide them with advice. I am just taking things slowly and don't know myself where things will go. I have been in touch with a female on the website and I am once again just taking things slowly. I hope I can help other Aspies that is if they would like my help?