As automation becomes a reality so also comes the advent of adjusting to change that goes with it. When you walk into a supermarket nowadays you are given the option of self checking out your items. Yes a machine checks the items for you after you have scanned them and added your credit card or payment details.
Over the last 12 months the University of Queensland Library has undergone changes. Now books are returned and sorted by a machine. Also books can be collected by a vending machine. It feels like a sense of depersonalisation and like any other person, you wonder what change will bring and how you will be affected.
I often don't like areas in my life such as thinking and feeling selfish at times. I also feel on the employment front a sense of worthlessness. I just don't seem to be really good at anything and merely a person that just plods along. Sometimes when I get angry at life, I stare at myself in front of the mirror and let out my frustrations. I don't put myself down but I vent my anger by pretending to see people who have been harsh in their criticism of me and yelling at them for not understanding nor not trying to listen or understand. I find it does help to release some of the anger that accrues in me.
I have just about completed my book. My parents just want to go through the final manuscript to ensure there are no mistakes and I have been trying to re-read it over and over to ensure it reads well and is free of any areas before going to publication. I hope the book does well and that it raises more awareness. I am tired of trying to adapt to someone I am not. It is not easy and I find making the transition to try and be neuro-typical just does not work for me. On Friday night I will be attending the adult meeting of Autism Queensland. I am not sure what this meeting will be like but I will attend to see what it is like.
When confronting the term disability a person on the Autism Spectrum does not fall into the usual stereotype. Autism is not a physical disability nor does it affect mobility impairment. People may not always see it and just having different wiring can make life often difficult and stressful when other people do not understand. Hopefully once again my book will bring forth some difficulties and issues I have experienced over the years. At the moment I just need to try my best to deal with the changes which are happening with the work environment and try my best to deal with these and I will provide more updates soon.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
It's not special treatment
At times I get tired of having to constantly defend myself. No matter what you tell people they either think you want special treatment or that you think you are better than them. This is clearly not the case. I just feel at times that pressure is applied on a person like myself who is on the Autism Spectrum under the umbrella of being a person with a disability. Most people think in terms of disability being generic when really Asperger Syndrome is like you are from another culture. You think differently and you cannot help it but why then do people heap shit onto you?
People with Asperger Syndrome do not want special treatment but rather just people to understand that we think and act differently to what they do.
I have been busy getting my book up to scratch and my folks want to ensure that after editing that there is no mistakes. I do believe that the book needs to be professional but I hope pray to God it will help people to understand. It is constantly frustrating to have to defend yourself all of the time. It is tiring, stressful and draining. Some people out of ignorance try to set me up with relationships because they think if you are single then something is seriously wrong with you. I just don't understand people at times and it is maddening. Why also do some other adults on the Autism Spectrum not want to talk to you and why do they pretend to be regular? Perhaps they are afraid of being bullied and ostracised again in a society which does not understand them. Some adults on the Autism Spectrum become Chameleons out of fear and this is fear sad.
People with Asperger Syndrome do not want special treatment but rather just people to understand that we think and act differently to what they do.
I have been busy getting my book up to scratch and my folks want to ensure that after editing that there is no mistakes. I do believe that the book needs to be professional but I hope pray to God it will help people to understand. It is constantly frustrating to have to defend yourself all of the time. It is tiring, stressful and draining. Some people out of ignorance try to set me up with relationships because they think if you are single then something is seriously wrong with you. I just don't understand people at times and it is maddening. Why also do some other adults on the Autism Spectrum not want to talk to you and why do they pretend to be regular? Perhaps they are afraid of being bullied and ostracised again in a society which does not understand them. Some adults on the Autism Spectrum become Chameleons out of fear and this is fear sad.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
What is Mind Mapping?
What is Mind Mapping? Mind Mapping allows both the left and right hand sides of the brain to work together. Maybe you have difficulty organising your day or you may project too much into the future and too little in the present. Please double clicking on this post to find out what exactly Mind Mapping is and how it may help you.
Mind Mapping helps to keep my thoughts into perspective and to find solutions
Mind Mapping helps to keep my thoughts into perspective and to find solutions
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Mirroring people
At the Minds and Hearts Clinic recently I raised the topic of 'mirroring". What exactly is mirroring? Mirroring is when a person copies someone else subconsciously when they may be standing or sitting beside the other person. So for instance if a man or woman may be crossing their arms within a group the person next to them may adopt the same pose after a short while.
This brings me to the topic of positive role models and a person to mirror from for a person with Asperger Syndrome. For a person with Asperger Syndrome often good role models or persons with good quality may help to raise their standards in order to get on with people and communicate better in the world. I have been fortunate in my life to have had positive and supportive people and good role models. If you see a person who does have good standards and high quality then this person is someone you can look up to help guide you through the difficulties in your own life. How the person can be social is another matter and implementing their social queues to help you with your own. I have found very few male role models as ego seems to step in with men but I do find women to have better socials skills in most instances. I have learned in my own time to be guided by persons with professional standard skills and these have been able to help me in ensuring a group has clear communication and or direction. The start of the Asperger Services Australia Adult Group in 1999 began by this very concept of implementing good communication skills. Should there be more people that a person with Asperger Syndrome can mirror in their lives? Perhaps something to look into?
This brings me to the topic of positive role models and a person to mirror from for a person with Asperger Syndrome. For a person with Asperger Syndrome often good role models or persons with good quality may help to raise their standards in order to get on with people and communicate better in the world. I have been fortunate in my life to have had positive and supportive people and good role models. If you see a person who does have good standards and high quality then this person is someone you can look up to help guide you through the difficulties in your own life. How the person can be social is another matter and implementing their social queues to help you with your own. I have found very few male role models as ego seems to step in with men but I do find women to have better socials skills in most instances. I have learned in my own time to be guided by persons with professional standard skills and these have been able to help me in ensuring a group has clear communication and or direction. The start of the Asperger Services Australia Adult Group in 1999 began by this very concept of implementing good communication skills. Should there be more people that a person with Asperger Syndrome can mirror in their lives? Perhaps something to look into?
Eccentricity the unwanted disease
Go about your eccentric ways in Australia or the United States of America and you are seen as an odd ball. Someone who has a serious problem or someone to avoid and I am not sure why this is the case? Be eccentric in the United Kingdom and everybody either is enamored by what you do or they just accept you for who you are and your unique ways.
I am not sure why eccentricity is tolerated more in the United Kingdom but I guess there are reasons and it would be interesting to know what these reasons are and why. I find both Australia and the United States drab countries by not accepting eccentricity for they both exist as countries which are somewhat paranoid and too afraid to encourage diversity. I mean people are so boring and you get tired of seeing rigid faces who have a tribal or herd mentality and if you don't follow the herd then there is something seriously wrong with you. America has the deep southern redneck and Australia has the Bogan. Both groups of people are not intellectually curious. Added to this there is a rigidity that exists in both cultures that tends to suppress anyone who is eccentric which is very unfortunate.
Rather than exist as a rigid bore why not embrace some levels of eccentricity in persons?
I am not sure why eccentricity is tolerated more in the United Kingdom but I guess there are reasons and it would be interesting to know what these reasons are and why. I find both Australia and the United States drab countries by not accepting eccentricity for they both exist as countries which are somewhat paranoid and too afraid to encourage diversity. I mean people are so boring and you get tired of seeing rigid faces who have a tribal or herd mentality and if you don't follow the herd then there is something seriously wrong with you. America has the deep southern redneck and Australia has the Bogan. Both groups of people are not intellectually curious. Added to this there is a rigidity that exists in both cultures that tends to suppress anyone who is eccentric which is very unfortunate.
Rather than exist as a rigid bore why not embrace some levels of eccentricity in persons?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Medication and relationships
I thought I would discuss two issues within this blog entry. The first one of these is medication and the other is relationships.
With medication do we need to exist in a society which employs medication as a means of dealing with people who simply may need help and understanding? Rather than going to a Doctor who prescribes medication and often does not provide advice on how to use the medication, should not society become more accommodating? If a person with Autism may feel lonely, rather than place them on medication can they not be provided with essential services and connection to the wider community? Do we also need to medicate someone just because they may be eccentric or think differently?
In terms of relationships, I believe some persons on the Autism Spectrum may struggle within relationships. Simply sharing space and not always being able to handle a person's company all of the time may be difficult. Perhaps more Autistic persons may find relationships a bit more of a challenge. Is Valentine's Day also a selfish corporate enterprise that works against single persons? I would encourage you to read Arman's blog who is an adult with Asperger Syndrome by double clicking on the title of this post.
With medication do we need to exist in a society which employs medication as a means of dealing with people who simply may need help and understanding? Rather than going to a Doctor who prescribes medication and often does not provide advice on how to use the medication, should not society become more accommodating? If a person with Autism may feel lonely, rather than place them on medication can they not be provided with essential services and connection to the wider community? Do we also need to medicate someone just because they may be eccentric or think differently?
In terms of relationships, I believe some persons on the Autism Spectrum may struggle within relationships. Simply sharing space and not always being able to handle a person's company all of the time may be difficult. Perhaps more Autistic persons may find relationships a bit more of a challenge. Is Valentine's Day also a selfish corporate enterprise that works against single persons? I would encourage you to read Arman's blog who is an adult with Asperger Syndrome by double clicking on the title of this post.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Life of the Hermit Crab
Imagine being a hermit crab. You exist in your shell and you burrow into the sound on the beach? You exist in your shell, move around in it and yet you remain solitary. While your shell protects you from the elements, you exist inside it and it is where you will spend the rest of your life. The shell has its own make, design and purpose and other people see your shell but not that lays within. The shell is what is seen but perhaps what is inside is always changing, moving about and getting by.
Now as a person do you exist like a hermit crab? Although what is on the exterior represents a shape, size and colour what about that which lies inside. Is what is inside ever changing? I sometimes feel like a hermit crab as although my body grows older, inside I am continually having to re-invent myself. I have to make sense of the world around me and try to feel my way around and understand the elements. Often existing in your shell is not always possible nor healthy, the outside world changes around you and you need to try and change with it. A hermit crab from what I understand does not move very far in life. The hermit crab has a routine and this makes life more possible.
When I was younger and on the beach, I collected several hermit crabs, placed them in a wet bucket of sand and could not understand why the next day they had all died? I know this sounds macabre but when a person dies no matter what age they are when you see them as a corpse why do you not see the real person? Is there such a thing as a spirit in all of us which departs upon our own inevitability? I remember several years ago seeing an open casket of two deceased elderly family members. I thought why do people have this kind of ritual and what purpose does it serve? It is not like you can actually talk to the person and their spirit and vitality has gone. I really think as people we just don't appreciate our own lives and just how lucky we are as individuals. Often it is too late when we really want to say to a person we love them or something good about them. Why do some people carry secrets to the grave, I never understand this? There is no point in keeping a secret from a person once they are dead is there?
Now as a person do you exist like a hermit crab? Although what is on the exterior represents a shape, size and colour what about that which lies inside. Is what is inside ever changing? I sometimes feel like a hermit crab as although my body grows older, inside I am continually having to re-invent myself. I have to make sense of the world around me and try to feel my way around and understand the elements. Often existing in your shell is not always possible nor healthy, the outside world changes around you and you need to try and change with it. A hermit crab from what I understand does not move very far in life. The hermit crab has a routine and this makes life more possible.
When I was younger and on the beach, I collected several hermit crabs, placed them in a wet bucket of sand and could not understand why the next day they had all died? I know this sounds macabre but when a person dies no matter what age they are when you see them as a corpse why do you not see the real person? Is there such a thing as a spirit in all of us which departs upon our own inevitability? I remember several years ago seeing an open casket of two deceased elderly family members. I thought why do people have this kind of ritual and what purpose does it serve? It is not like you can actually talk to the person and their spirit and vitality has gone. I really think as people we just don't appreciate our own lives and just how lucky we are as individuals. Often it is too late when we really want to say to a person we love them or something good about them. Why do some people carry secrets to the grave, I never understand this? There is no point in keeping a secret from a person once they are dead is there?
Shopping list per week for Asperger adults.
This shopping list may be helpful for adults living on their own
Breakfast
Bread
Cereal
Jam
Margarine
Mains
Steak
Vegetables (Brocoli, Beans, Carrots)
Pasta
Mince
Desert (Cheese Cake, Ice Cream, Yoghurt)
Beverages and cereals
Milk
Tea
Sugar
Muesli Bars
Fruit
Orange Juice
Roughly $50-60 per week
Breakfast
Bread
Cereal
Jam
Margarine
Mains
Steak
Vegetables (Brocoli, Beans, Carrots)
Pasta
Mince
Desert (Cheese Cake, Ice Cream, Yoghurt)
Beverages and cereals
Milk
Tea
Sugar
Muesli Bars
Fruit
Orange Juice
Roughly $50-60 per week
Friday, February 11, 2011
Autism Spectrum and relationships
When it comes to relationships is there a difference between people with Asperger Syndrome and those with Autism in being able to hold one down. One of the things I have found being an adult on the Autism Spectrum is the difficulty in being able to share space and deal with emotions. I often wonder how NT's can continually share space and be around a person all the time and yet not become somehow exhausted by this. I feel that I am more autistic in terms of more interactions with people as a person with Asperger Syndrome is able to talk more and yet still have difficulty with conversation whereas a person with more Autistic traits just finds it hard to communicate continuously or at all without feeling the effects of being mentally drained. I have noticed that in some adults there seems to be a pattern in adults with more Autistic traits in having a difficulty with relationships. The problem stems from either wanting more space or just finding the thought of a relationship simply too overwhelming.
Some of the questions I find my asking are as follows? How can a person always be around the other person and don't they get sick of their space being encroached on? How can they talk continuously without getting mentally drained? There is also the fact that perhaps more Autistic people like to keep within their own space and prefer not to be around other people. It is just simply too overwhelming and perhaps friendship is easier. I believe that I have become slightly more Autistic as I get older. I prefer my routines and feel safe in them. I find it somewhat harder to communicate with people without getting mentally drained. I get confused between the expectations of friendship and relationship and just try to communicate with people as best I can. Also it just seems so overwhelming and difficult to know what is exactly expected of me and why society tends to make false assertions and assumptions. Recent needs to be done in this very topic to determine if there are indeed differences.
Some of the questions I find my asking are as follows? How can a person always be around the other person and don't they get sick of their space being encroached on? How can they talk continuously without getting mentally drained? There is also the fact that perhaps more Autistic people like to keep within their own space and prefer not to be around other people. It is just simply too overwhelming and perhaps friendship is easier. I believe that I have become slightly more Autistic as I get older. I prefer my routines and feel safe in them. I find it somewhat harder to communicate with people without getting mentally drained. I get confused between the expectations of friendship and relationship and just try to communicate with people as best I can. Also it just seems so overwhelming and difficult to know what is exactly expected of me and why society tends to make false assertions and assumptions. Recent needs to be done in this very topic to determine if there are indeed differences.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Crowds
A friend has asked me to an outing with some of his other friends next week. As I am getting older I tend to find myself withdrawing in some ways but I feel it best to keep trying where I can. As an adult with Asperger Syndrome I find as I get older that sometimes the world can be a very overwhelming place. All I can do is try my best to ensure that I don't give up on some aspects of my life and to try to move forward where I can. Yesterday at the university library where I worked, the staff had to use an electric trolley. Like anyone I feel awkward having a go and getting up in front of people, but I tried my best. On the first attempt the trolley almost went through the window and on the second attempt I was much better.
In terms of being patient, I am improving somewhat. I received some encouraging feedback from the publisher and Dr Tony Attwood about my book. So I can relax a little now. I also have received some positive feedback from the Minds and Hearts Clinic concerning "The Dating Game" which is to help adults with Asperger Syndrome find or know the skills to assist them in finding a relationship. I have suggested to Minds and Hearts that assistance be made available to help adults with learning social skills and trying to make small talk. Having a lighter side is also difficult so perhaps help will also become available.
I know of some other adults who have entered relationships. I don't feel envious but more so happy for them. As they are younger than me, they perhaps stand a better chance but with the work I do, I really don't think I have the energy just at the moment in terms of finding a relationship. It is something that is not really a high priority just at present. I know of some other adults who just feel a relationship is too much work and impossible. So like me they don't really want to go through the tumble dryer of emotions and being hurt also. Some Aspies may want a relationship whereas others may not so it is an individual choice. A person should not exist as an outcast simply for not being in a relationship.
When dealing with crowds I sometimes feel too much sensory overload. I find when there is music and noise that I tend to be driven into some kind of defensive or on guard scenario. I find it hard to trust people, to understand their motives and more importantly whether a person is trying to be funny or whether I might take something too literally. I find some jokes hard to get and also I am weary of people until I know them properly. I seem to trust Aspies more because I guess I know they are honest and clear with what they say and think.
I am thinking of writing another book and I will start this shortly. I am not sure whether I will write the book about Aspies and travel or perhaps some book to help Aspies with budgeting and managing money? Any ideas are welcome.
I find it extremely difficult to get up in front of people and do miming or some kind of activity with testing a machine or another item. I feel or more so I think of the likelihood of me making a mistake than actually doing what I am supposed. With the electric trolley for instance, I found it hard to know when to increase and reduce speed. I also hate charades and just don't know what to do in them at all. I think how can you pretend to be a fish when a fish lives in water or to be a cat when I have no tail? I think you know what I mean?
In terms of being patient, I am improving somewhat. I received some encouraging feedback from the publisher and Dr Tony Attwood about my book. So I can relax a little now. I also have received some positive feedback from the Minds and Hearts Clinic concerning "The Dating Game" which is to help adults with Asperger Syndrome find or know the skills to assist them in finding a relationship. I have suggested to Minds and Hearts that assistance be made available to help adults with learning social skills and trying to make small talk. Having a lighter side is also difficult so perhaps help will also become available.
I know of some other adults who have entered relationships. I don't feel envious but more so happy for them. As they are younger than me, they perhaps stand a better chance but with the work I do, I really don't think I have the energy just at the moment in terms of finding a relationship. It is something that is not really a high priority just at present. I know of some other adults who just feel a relationship is too much work and impossible. So like me they don't really want to go through the tumble dryer of emotions and being hurt also. Some Aspies may want a relationship whereas others may not so it is an individual choice. A person should not exist as an outcast simply for not being in a relationship.
When dealing with crowds I sometimes feel too much sensory overload. I find when there is music and noise that I tend to be driven into some kind of defensive or on guard scenario. I find it hard to trust people, to understand their motives and more importantly whether a person is trying to be funny or whether I might take something too literally. I find some jokes hard to get and also I am weary of people until I know them properly. I seem to trust Aspies more because I guess I know they are honest and clear with what they say and think.
I am thinking of writing another book and I will start this shortly. I am not sure whether I will write the book about Aspies and travel or perhaps some book to help Aspies with budgeting and managing money? Any ideas are welcome.
I find it extremely difficult to get up in front of people and do miming or some kind of activity with testing a machine or another item. I feel or more so I think of the likelihood of me making a mistake than actually doing what I am supposed. With the electric trolley for instance, I found it hard to know when to increase and reduce speed. I also hate charades and just don't know what to do in them at all. I think how can you pretend to be a fish when a fish lives in water or to be a cat when I have no tail? I think you know what I mean?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Autism and food
Some months ago and article came out indicating that there was no link between Autism and Gluten intolerance. Also the study suggested that people with Autism do not suffer indigestion problems.
I would like to dispel such evidence as I do believe that both are related. As a person with Autism, some foods just do not agree with me. They are hard to digest and they cause irritation in my stomach and I feel tired and irritable when this process occurs. As I find the food causes reaction, I agree with the findings that chemicals are released from the digestive system which also have an impact on the brain. Concentration is lost, irritability can be a problem and a feeling of numbness may also occur. I have also found anxiety levels higher and more importantly more exasperation of my Autism symptoms.
The symptoms of food reaction include a feeling of bloating, diarrhea and feeling irritable. Sometimes if left untreated I am unable to sleep thus interfering with performance levels.
As people with Autism experience higher levels of anxiety, immune systems are constantly under strain and digestion can also be influenced. This is how I find it anyway. I also can feel tired and finding some levels of functioning impaired. If only I could find the food which is causing me irritation and avoiding it life would be so much easier. It is hard to narrow it down to one particular food with the only way of doing something is to try and avoid the food which you suspect is causing the problem. If food irritation is excessive then it makes you feel either sick, bloated, gives you diarrhea and tired. Perhaps Autism occurs because of some digestive problems in persons affected by it. Perhaps toxins are released into the blood stream causing irritation to the brain and more study is required. Amongst persons with Autism there seems to be higher indigestion problems and reactions to certain foods. Again more investigation required. I find with food irritation that I feel crankier and more irritable. I also feel like my blood is also being injected with toxins.
I would like to dispel such evidence as I do believe that both are related. As a person with Autism, some foods just do not agree with me. They are hard to digest and they cause irritation in my stomach and I feel tired and irritable when this process occurs. As I find the food causes reaction, I agree with the findings that chemicals are released from the digestive system which also have an impact on the brain. Concentration is lost, irritability can be a problem and a feeling of numbness may also occur. I have also found anxiety levels higher and more importantly more exasperation of my Autism symptoms.
The symptoms of food reaction include a feeling of bloating, diarrhea and feeling irritable. Sometimes if left untreated I am unable to sleep thus interfering with performance levels.
As people with Autism experience higher levels of anxiety, immune systems are constantly under strain and digestion can also be influenced. This is how I find it anyway. I also can feel tired and finding some levels of functioning impaired. If only I could find the food which is causing me irritation and avoiding it life would be so much easier. It is hard to narrow it down to one particular food with the only way of doing something is to try and avoid the food which you suspect is causing the problem. If food irritation is excessive then it makes you feel either sick, bloated, gives you diarrhea and tired. Perhaps Autism occurs because of some digestive problems in persons affected by it. Perhaps toxins are released into the blood stream causing irritation to the brain and more study is required. Amongst persons with Autism there seems to be higher indigestion problems and reactions to certain foods. Again more investigation required. I find with food irritation that I feel crankier and more irritable. I also feel like my blood is also being injected with toxins.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Finding it hard when I am passionate and others are not
When I was younger I was told to shut up about my special interests or people simply ignored the fact that I was so passionate and obsessed about an interest and I was not. For instance an aspect of science or some experiment or other topic would really get me absorbed. When mentioning it to other people, I used to get so frustrated and annoyed as to why they were not as interested in this topic as I was interested. I used to think. What is wrong with them? Why can they not see how inspiring this interest is and I used to wonder why they were not as passionate?
I often could also not understand why other people were so bored if I spoke about a particular subject for an extended period. What interested me did not appear to interest them and I would think what was wrong with them? Why for instance did old houses have so many windows or did you know the average house had so many bricks? I would be confused as to think well a person lives in a house and surely they would want to know about the average amount of bricks that were used in building their house etc.
Special interests can tend to make you appear as obsessed or eccentric. I often just was confused as to why I thought people were not interested in specific peaces of information. What's wrong with them? Why with all the talking can I not interest them in what interests me. So after a while I gave up talking about my special interests. People are confusing at times but I have learned to try and understand that special interests need to be balanced with general interests. People can be confusing at times??
I often could also not understand why other people were so bored if I spoke about a particular subject for an extended period. What interested me did not appear to interest them and I would think what was wrong with them? Why for instance did old houses have so many windows or did you know the average house had so many bricks? I would be confused as to think well a person lives in a house and surely they would want to know about the average amount of bricks that were used in building their house etc.
Special interests can tend to make you appear as obsessed or eccentric. I often just was confused as to why I thought people were not interested in specific peaces of information. What's wrong with them? Why with all the talking can I not interest them in what interests me. So after a while I gave up talking about my special interests. People are confusing at times but I have learned to try and understand that special interests need to be balanced with general interests. People can be confusing at times??
Saturday, February 5, 2011
An Aspie adults email to Minds and Hearts
Im a friend of Garry Burge.
I know Garry through an Asperger support group at I used to visit at the University of Queensland.
At the group we often discussed the difficulties faced by men with AS when trying to find a wife or girl friend.
Garry has asked me to write you a short letter explaining all of the difficulties man with AS encounter.
He felt it was hard for him to explain it in his own words.
So here are my thoughts on the subject...
If you look around the world at any given culture there are a few common themes that always come up.
When looking for a partner men seek out physical beauty.
This can vary from culture to culture but generally revolves around a common set of traits which show the
female has good child bearing abilities. Clear skin, health white teeth, youth and vitality etc.
When a woman is looking for a partner she seeks out a man with a high level of self confidence and above all else
signs that man is important and has a high social status.
Women may or may not be conscious of these drive and might often deny them. Instead claiming that they chose
there man because he was caring or made them laugh etc.
Unfortunately if you look around society the evidence does not support these claims. How often do you ever meet
a toilet cleaner, homeless man or other low social status person who has beautiful girl friend.
An old man who is a famous celebrity or CEO of an important company is often chased by beautiful women yet the
same man retired at home by himself has no appeal despite his great personality or the way he makes people laugh.
High social status manifests itself in different ways.
Nurses chase after doctors. A waitress might be after the manager of a restaurant.
School girls want to date the captain of the football team.
Now here is the biggest problem. Men with Asbergers syndrome are not social climbers.
To an Aspie social status is meaningless concept. Most Apsie men are either totally unaware or chose to ignore to
social pecking order all together. This means an Aspie is unlikely ever end up as the manager, the boss,
the captain of the team or the most important figure in any group because hes not seeking it.
Aspie men are often loners. Experts in one area with no social status and few friends. To most women this is very unattractive.
Even if an Aspie tries to play the social climbing game the competition isn't fair and neuro typicals with better social skill
will tend to win the competition.
The situation is made even more difficult because Aspies tend to have low self confidence because of a life time or rejection
and negative feedback from society for being different.
I know from my own personal experiences over the last 16 years of being an adult how difficult it is.
If I go about my normal life which might involve work and a couple of hobbies nothing happens.
No matter who I approach what clothes I wear or what I say women have absolutely no interest in me.
If very difficult to communicate to neuro typical people just how much of a brick wall male Aspies face when trying to find a woman.
I hope this helps.
I know Garry through an Asperger support group at I used to visit at the University of Queensland.
At the group we often discussed the difficulties faced by men with AS when trying to find a wife or girl friend.
Garry has asked me to write you a short letter explaining all of the difficulties man with AS encounter.
He felt it was hard for him to explain it in his own words.
So here are my thoughts on the subject...
If you look around the world at any given culture there are a few common themes that always come up.
When looking for a partner men seek out physical beauty.
This can vary from culture to culture but generally revolves around a common set of traits which show the
female has good child bearing abilities. Clear skin, health white teeth, youth and vitality etc.
When a woman is looking for a partner she seeks out a man with a high level of self confidence and above all else
signs that man is important and has a high social status.
Women may or may not be conscious of these drive and might often deny them. Instead claiming that they chose
there man because he was caring or made them laugh etc.
Unfortunately if you look around society the evidence does not support these claims. How often do you ever meet
a toilet cleaner, homeless man or other low social status person who has beautiful girl friend.
An old man who is a famous celebrity or CEO of an important company is often chased by beautiful women yet the
same man retired at home by himself has no appeal despite his great personality or the way he makes people laugh.
High social status manifests itself in different ways.
Nurses chase after doctors. A waitress might be after the manager of a restaurant.
School girls want to date the captain of the football team.
Now here is the biggest problem. Men with Asbergers syndrome are not social climbers.
To an Aspie social status is meaningless concept. Most Apsie men are either totally unaware or chose to ignore to
social pecking order all together. This means an Aspie is unlikely ever end up as the manager, the boss,
the captain of the team or the most important figure in any group because hes not seeking it.
Aspie men are often loners. Experts in one area with no social status and few friends. To most women this is very unattractive.
Even if an Aspie tries to play the social climbing game the competition isn't fair and neuro typicals with better social skill
will tend to win the competition.
The situation is made even more difficult because Aspies tend to have low self confidence because of a life time or rejection
and negative feedback from society for being different.
I know from my own personal experiences over the last 16 years of being an adult how difficult it is.
If I go about my normal life which might involve work and a couple of hobbies nothing happens.
No matter who I approach what clothes I wear or what I say women have absolutely no interest in me.
If very difficult to communicate to neuro typical people just how much of a brick wall male Aspies face when trying to find a woman.
I hope this helps.
People do not always say what they mean
I find the overwhelming majority of people confusing. People just do not say what they mean. For instance you can put yourself out for a person and when you need them in a time of emergency, they say they are either busy or somehow unavailable. However, when they call upon your help and you are not able to commit then you are criticised or told you are an uncaring person. Now where exactly is the fairness? I think the greater majority of people are driven by fear and use tribal instincts to try and control others whom they fear or perceive as some kind of threat to their own stability.
I think in society today people are quick to criticise than they are to praise. If someone does something then it is either not good enough or they could have done it better. Not everyone is a perfectionist but if we want people to feel better about themselves and we want things to be better, then surely we need to praise people and encourage them? I often find some people hypocrites because they are fearful of their own faults. Rather than try and work on overcome them, they have to blame other people rather than accepting the areas of their own ways. Surely this is a sign of human weakness?
Everyone receives criticism in their lives and I certainly have had my fair share of it over the years. When there is a stronger personality and one whom I suspect to be on the Autism Spectrum and in denial then there is not much that I can really do. I believe that in the past this person was not able to admit his traits as society had even less tolerance for Asperger Syndrome back then. Even suggesting to this person that he was on the Autism Spectrum met with criticism rather than acceptance and to do something about it.
There always seems to be an underlying fear in people that they need to be tribal and control others perhaps because of the fear of ignorance and uncertainty. Conservative Queensland is no acceptance. It needs to move with the rest of Australia, let down the dingo fence and try to become a little bit more open minded in its thinking. The Australian nation as a whole also needs to stop being the slow moving cog in the larger clockwork of progress. More could be done here but it seems that fear and complacency is holding things back.
I think in society today people are quick to criticise than they are to praise. If someone does something then it is either not good enough or they could have done it better. Not everyone is a perfectionist but if we want people to feel better about themselves and we want things to be better, then surely we need to praise people and encourage them? I often find some people hypocrites because they are fearful of their own faults. Rather than try and work on overcome them, they have to blame other people rather than accepting the areas of their own ways. Surely this is a sign of human weakness?
Everyone receives criticism in their lives and I certainly have had my fair share of it over the years. When there is a stronger personality and one whom I suspect to be on the Autism Spectrum and in denial then there is not much that I can really do. I believe that in the past this person was not able to admit his traits as society had even less tolerance for Asperger Syndrome back then. Even suggesting to this person that he was on the Autism Spectrum met with criticism rather than acceptance and to do something about it.
There always seems to be an underlying fear in people that they need to be tribal and control others perhaps because of the fear of ignorance and uncertainty. Conservative Queensland is no acceptance. It needs to move with the rest of Australia, let down the dingo fence and try to become a little bit more open minded in its thinking. The Australian nation as a whole also needs to stop being the slow moving cog in the larger clockwork of progress. More could be done here but it seems that fear and complacency is holding things back.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Aspies living in their heads
Have you ever wondered what exactly it means to live in your head? As an Aspie I would describe it as something I do more often than interacting with people. It seems that living in your head means less stress in terms of interacting with people, finding the energy to attend an event and merely keeping up with the social requirements.
To me, living in your head also means an increase in eccentric behaviour as you spend a great deal more time thinking about something more so than actually physically doing it. For instance if you look at Albert Einstein if he didn't live in his head then perhaps less scientific information never came to reality. Living in your head also can immune you from being hassled by people and the stresses of having to deal with rejection or friends letting you down.
Living in your head can best be described as follows
1. More time in social isolation thinking, and analyzing information.
2. Reading books or watching movies as a means of entering another world
3. Keeping yourself entertained when other people are not there or let you down
As an Aspie it would be interesting to find out how many of us actually live in our heads and perhaps research could be undertaken?
To me, living in your head also means an increase in eccentric behaviour as you spend a great deal more time thinking about something more so than actually physically doing it. For instance if you look at Albert Einstein if he didn't live in his head then perhaps less scientific information never came to reality. Living in your head also can immune you from being hassled by people and the stresses of having to deal with rejection or friends letting you down.
Living in your head can best be described as follows
1. More time in social isolation thinking, and analyzing information.
2. Reading books or watching movies as a means of entering another world
3. Keeping yourself entertained when other people are not there or let you down
As an Aspie it would be interesting to find out how many of us actually live in our heads and perhaps research could be undertaken?
Asperger Syndrome and the judicary
A friend of mine who is studying psychology and from my own reading has lead me to ask the question? How does a person with Autism deal with the judiciary? In attempting to examine this question, I guess I can only speculate in my response. Often a person with Autism may encounter depending on their financial situation (a higher number being unemployed) a lack of support, representation and awareness when they may need to be either represented or defend themselves in court. In the movie "Adam" there is a scene to where Adam visits a local school after he has been sacked from his job. He walks past the school and looks in on the school to see if his friend is there. As he stands behind the fence, a couple of policemen stroll past and decide to question and arrest him believing he may be some kind of predator or child pervert. In such a situation where Adam is experiencing heightened anxiety and more importantly an inability to explain himself, what then he can do? Could he be wrongfully arrested for a crime he did not commit? Luckily in his case, his friend was able to identify him and the wrongful arrest was dropped.
Within our institutions and prisons, I have heard there is a high figure of persons on the Autism Spectrum within the penal system. Why is this the case? Were such persons on the Autism Spectrum properly represented within our judicial system and did they obtain the support which they required? Were persons the persons with Autism exposed to predators or criminals who exploited or manipulated them? I am not experienced or permitted to question legal matters but what does concern me as a person with Autism is whether these persons were able to receive the proper legal representation and more importantly did those who represent them have a thorough understanding of Autism? Furthermore, as a person on the Autism Spectrum may not always have a clear understanding of authority or conventions, does this also need to be factored in? Should legal representation and legal authorities be better informed about the Autism Spectrum? I guess this remains an open question and for you as a person to decide?
Recently there was a worldwide judicial issue concerning Gary McKinnon who was arrested for 'hacking into' a NASA computer to steal information on UFO's?
I am not really in a position to suggest changes or to reform the judicial process but I do not think it wrong to question what support is available for a person with Autism when dealing with the judiciary? Please refer to the Gary McKinnon case in the title of this post for more information. Also a person with Autism may appear as aloof or removed from the legal process for lack of direct eye contact, and a means of being able to adequately and properly explain a situation which they may be exposed to. Also what about a person with Autism in terms of wrongfully being sacked from employment? What support and legal representation is available to them? It is necessary should you want to know more information to contact Dr Tony Attwood or visit one of his presentations.
Within our institutions and prisons, I have heard there is a high figure of persons on the Autism Spectrum within the penal system. Why is this the case? Were such persons on the Autism Spectrum properly represented within our judicial system and did they obtain the support which they required? Were persons the persons with Autism exposed to predators or criminals who exploited or manipulated them? I am not experienced or permitted to question legal matters but what does concern me as a person with Autism is whether these persons were able to receive the proper legal representation and more importantly did those who represent them have a thorough understanding of Autism? Furthermore, as a person on the Autism Spectrum may not always have a clear understanding of authority or conventions, does this also need to be factored in? Should legal representation and legal authorities be better informed about the Autism Spectrum? I guess this remains an open question and for you as a person to decide?
Recently there was a worldwide judicial issue concerning Gary McKinnon who was arrested for 'hacking into' a NASA computer to steal information on UFO's?
I am not really in a position to suggest changes or to reform the judicial process but I do not think it wrong to question what support is available for a person with Autism when dealing with the judiciary? Please refer to the Gary McKinnon case in the title of this post for more information. Also a person with Autism may appear as aloof or removed from the legal process for lack of direct eye contact, and a means of being able to adequately and properly explain a situation which they may be exposed to. Also what about a person with Autism in terms of wrongfully being sacked from employment? What support and legal representation is available to them? It is necessary should you want to know more information to contact Dr Tony Attwood or visit one of his presentations.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Information survey
I am currently trying to ascertain information on the general level of awareness of the Autism Spectrum. The survey featured on this blog although basic is to try and find out the age brackets of where awareness of the Autism Spectrum is stronger and where more information may be needed.
Participation in this survey is of course voluntary and the information obtained is not used for research purposes but just for general awareness. If you are able to, please fill in the survey as best you can. It would be good if you could also fill the survey in as accurately as possible. I would be interested to know where awareness of the Autism Spectrum is strongest and more importantly what information can be provided to better assist in raising awareness of the Autism Spectrum to the general community. As I am in touch with other adults on the Autism Spectrum, and Dr Tony Attwood occasionally as he is busy. I am sure that such information may also assist them in promoting awareness within the wider community. Please feel free to answer the survey which would be a tremendous help!
Participation in this survey is of course voluntary and the information obtained is not used for research purposes but just for general awareness. If you are able to, please fill in the survey as best you can. It would be good if you could also fill the survey in as accurately as possible. I would be interested to know where awareness of the Autism Spectrum is strongest and more importantly what information can be provided to better assist in raising awareness of the Autism Spectrum to the general community. As I am in touch with other adults on the Autism Spectrum, and Dr Tony Attwood occasionally as he is busy. I am sure that such information may also assist them in promoting awareness within the wider community. Please feel free to answer the survey which would be a tremendous help!
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